Author's Note: This would be my first song fic, based on "Song for You," by Alexi Murdoch. Lyrics are his, characters belong to FOX. Nothing but the words belong to me. Hope you like it.
So today I wrote a song for you
Cause a day can get so long
And I know its hard to make it through
When you say there's something wrong
So I'm trying to put it right
Cause I want to love you with my heart
All this trying has made me tight
And I don't know even where to start
Maybe thats a start
Booth stood outside Brennan's office door, reluctant to enter, but knowing he had to say something to her. This case was hard on her, the investigation of a girl who had been murdered by her foster parents. He wished he had the words to free her from her own memories, so things like this wouldn't remind her of the past she tried so hard to forget.
Cause you know, it's a simple game
That you play, filling up your head with rain
And you know you are hiding from your pain
In the way, in the way you say your name
She was always so quick to push her childhood out of her mind. She covered up every insecurity with pride. On some level, he was sure Bones believed that if she was good enough at her job, it would erase the betrayals and injuries she had suffered. She would hide her emotions with her efforts, and convince herself it was efficient.
And I see you
Hiding your face in your hands
Flying so you won't land
You think no one understands
No one understands
Sitting there, hunched over on the couch, she looked more tired than he had ever seen her. Booth suddenly realized how exhausting it must be for her, just to get through the day. She was constantly forced to explain herself, isolated by her intelligence and the demons she had to battle. Despite her best attempts to be above it all, he knew she really did want to be liked and respected.
Taking a deep breath, he entered the office. "Bones?" he said. "You okay?"
She sighed, more audibly than she intended. "I'm fine, Booth. I just need... I really just need to clear my head."
So you hunch your shoulders and you shake your head
And your throat is aching but you swear
No one hurts you, nothing could be sad
Anyway, you're not here enough to care
"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about. I've been neglecting to get the right amount of sleep lately. Now that we've solved the case, I should have more time to devote to resting tonight."
"Bones... sometimes, when I go to bed, I have these nightmares. Things I've... been through. You know? Does that happen to you?" He was trying so hard. Sharing that much didn't come naturally to him. She knew he was trying, but couldn't help wanting him to stay far away from the issue. If there was anyone she didn't want to think of her as weak, it was Booth.
And you're so tired you don't sleep at night
As your heart is trying to mend
You keep it quiet but you think you might
Disappear before the end
"That's none of your business," she said icily. "We're work partners. As long as it doesn't impede my professional capabilities, there's no reason it should trouble you."
And it's strange that you cannot find
Any strength to even try
To find a voice to speak your mind
When you do, all you wanna do is cry
Well maybe you should cry
"Come on, Bones. It's okay to be troubled sometimes. You can tell me if you're upset. It's already obvious you are. There's nothing to be gained, logically, by refusing to admit it." Booth persisted.
As she sighed this time, a slight sob fought its way out as well. She still wasn't crying openly-- he knew she would never let herself-- but tears stood in her eyes. "It's just... there were times I wished my foster parents would just kill me. It seemed better then, than what was really happening. But now, looking at Anna, it makes me wonder what she could have done. She might have been great."
And I see you hiding your face in your hands
Talking bout far-away lands
You think no one understands
Listen to my hands
Booth didn't understand, sometimes, how anyone could think this woman was cold. Yes, she hid her wounds with a thousand anthropological anecdotes, but beneath the surface, she was the most compassionate person he had ever met. He laid one hand gently on her shoulder, and with the other, turned her face toward him. At last, he felt the right words come to him. "You are great. And whenever you want to talk, talk to me. Don't torture yourself like this."
As she began to kiss him, he knew that she really would be fine.
And all of this life
Moves around you
For all that you claim
You're standing still
You are moving too
You are moving too
You are moving too
I will move you.