Words left unsaid
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.- Harriet Beecher Stowe
I own nothing but my own ideas
Lucinia has made a catastrophic mistake.
You don't know what to do. You hadn't planned for this, hadn't gone out of your way to do it, but anything can happen in battles. Even ones that aren't supposed to be life or death, can have accidents. Absolutely horrific accidents.
She lies on the floor, pale and red. Her horse lies beside her. Your father crouches over her, weeping. This victory is a bitter one for the Shepherds. One of their own has been lost to your hand. A knight. A Sheppard. An icon. Your mother.
And it's your fault. You were the one who killed her. You can't apologize enough. What could you say to her, this woman you killed, before she could become your mother.
You should have said something, anything. Now you can never speak to her again.
You came back in time to save your father, but maybe you should have focused on saving both of them.
You can't focus. So you leave. You have a bit of time, before something major crops up again, and you need some time.
You come across Inigo. Except there's something different about him. He shares your hair colour.
"Sister!" He greets, as you turn around.
Maybe you should have expected it, because you have changed things irreparably, but the words hit you hard. There's only one person who calls you sister, and you have prevented her from being born.
Still, you try to pretend. "That has to be your worst attempt yet."
"Pardon?"
"I don't have a brother."
"Oh…"
"I had a sister. I'm pretty sure that I prevented her from being born. I might have prevented myself from being born."
"You didn't, at least for the second thing. I'm your younger brother."
"How does that work?"
"I think, Cynthia described it as different timelines, and some things staying the same, in spite of changes. Or almost the same. I certainly don't remember her having white hair, where I was from. It was brown. She also insisted that Robin was supposed to be your mother, but thats patently ridiculous, when our mother was Olivia."
As far as you recall, Cynthia had red hair, but now is not the time to talk about that.
"Or at least, mine is, and the Lucinia who is born in this world will likely be. So, you are more of a half sister, I suppose, but that doesn't really matter to me. Your still my big sister."
"Are you saying that father is going to marry Olivia, because mother is dead?"
"I'm sure that's not the only reason."
"But why am I still here? I killed her."
At this admission, your voice breaks, and you find you can't stay on your feet for another second. You half collapse onto your knees, and start crying again.
Inigo kneels, and pulls you into a hug. You cry into his shoulder, as he rubs your back in slow, soothing motions. You stay there until his shirt is soaked through, and your eyes just can't cry anymore.
You still feel guilty, and angry at yourself. You want to make up for this, you want to make Plegia pay for this.
You give Inigo a hug.
"Thank you. But I should go now. I have mistakes to make up for, and a war to stop."
"Good luck"
You do not look back.
A war is prevented, although the cost is still too steep for you. This worlds Lucina is born into peace, though it does not last. War comes onto the horizons once again. The Shepherds get ready to fight. And you hesitate.
How can you explain to your father, what you have done in the name of a better future. It wasn't even necessary. It was an accident. But the consequences last forever. With this change, can you even still rightfully call him father?
You have to apologize regardless, somewhere private, preferably, but how can you tell him the magnitude of what you have done? Would he even be able to look at you without disgust? What would you do if he doesn't? In some ways, that seems worse.
You hesitate, but in the end, you still go. Someone close to him will betray him, after all, and you can't do this properly from a distance anymore. You apologize, and you don't tell him, exactly what the woman you killed meant to you. It sits uncomfortably in your stomach, whenever you think of it, but you just can't.
Sometimes, you find yourself happy. Your fellow time travelers are pretty adaptable people, and know how to keep each other's spirits up, particularly in times of strife.
You don't really know what to make of Robin. Against all odds, you almost like her, but Inigo's comment, about Cynthia saying she was your mother in another timeline bothers you. It bothers you, because you can see it happening all too well. It could still happen, perhaps, and Morgan could become your brother, and you don't want that, because you have only just adapted to the idea that Inigo is your brother here.
Your hand shakes, when you accuse her of being your father's murderer. Your voice shakes, as you talk about sacrifices to prevent a dark future. You do not want to do this, are not sure if you can go through with doing this, and perhaps Robin reads that in you, when she refuses your request. You are not sure what you would have done, if Robin had drawn a weapon. Perhaps its for the best that Chrom interveened.
You think about what you would have said to Morgan, if you had gone through with it. You wonder how you could have apologized to his father, and kept your head. You wonder what your sister would have done, in your place.
She's not here, and you miss her so much. You miss your mother, and wish you had taken the opportunity to talk to her one last time, even if she wouldn't have understood. Your family is gone, and Owain is the only one left who remembers.
When the fight is done, when Grima is dead, you tell your father the truth. You don't wait for his response, before leaving. You are not really sure how to live in a world of peace, but perhaps a fresh start will help you find it.