Journey's New Beginning
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
A/N: Well, here's the latest in the after scenes universe; the one where they plan for the future - the place I was working towards all along. I might keep working on this universe from time to time, I actually do have some ideas but no promises. I do have an unrelated one shot in the works, hopefully, I'll be able to post it soon. I hope you guys like it! Thanks to pup for all her help editing this and all my other stories. Please, let me know what you think!
Emily was in the middle of deciding whether she wanted pasta primavera or pasta with pesto sauce when her door bell rang. She jerked her head sharply towards the door with a frown, wondering who could be visiting her. As far as she knew, her team had all gone off on their own. JJ had rushed home to Will and Henry as soon as her paperwork had been completed, Garcia had gone on and on about her plans with Kevin, Reid had gotten a new book he was excited to spend the evening with, Morgan had grumbled about having to stay late to finish all of his paperwork and Rossi well, who knew where Rossi was, he'd lit out of the office almost as soon as they'd gotten in. So, she really had no idea who it could be.
She supposed it could be the lady from upstairs wanting to know if Emily had some sugar, milk or some other foodstuff. But given that two of times that she'd come over it had turned out that Emily had had even less food in the house than she did and the last time her eyes had almost bugged out of her head when she'd noticed Emily's and Aaron's guns on the counter, Emily had been pretty sure she wouldn't come back. She was so preoccupied trying to figure out who could be at her door that she didn't pay attention to where she was going until her hip met the unforgiving edge of the kitchen counter. She hissed and tried to bite back a curse as she started to rub the offended area.
"Crap," she said a few moments later, not at all successful in biting back the curse. She was trying to figure out who could be visiting her when she opened the door and found the one person she hadn't thought would be there.
"Hey," she said surprised, still absently rubbing her hip.
"Hi," Hotch said with a small smile. "You okay?" he asked, his eyes drawn to her hand rubbing her hip.
"What? Oh, yes, I just walked into the counter," she answered with a shrug. "It's nothing. How are you?"
"I'm fine," he told her. "We thought we'd come by to see what you were doing," he added with a glance down at his son.
"I'm glad you did," she smiled at him before shifting her eyes down. "Hello, Jack; how are you?" Hotch whispered 'Jack' and squeezed his son's shoulder lightly and that was enough to remind the four year old of his manners.
"Hello, Miss Emily," Jack said shyly from his position behind Hotch's legs. "I'm fine, thank you." Emily smiled at how polite he was.
"Did we interrupt something?" he asked as his gaze took in her sweatpants and bare feet. He knew that she put on the sweatpants and went bare foot when she was tired from a long day and was getting ready to relax and turn in.
"No, no," she shook her head. "I was about to start supper; I'm making mac and cheese," she told them because, suddenly, with Hotch and his little boy on her door step, neither pasta primavera nor pesto sauce sounded good anymore. "Would you guys like to join me?"
"Mac and cheese, huh?" Hotch asked and looked down at Jack. "Well, we haven't had dinner yet, so what do you say buddy? Would you like to have some mac and cheese? Emily's is very good."
"As good as yours, Daddy?" Jack asked, looking up at his father.
"I'll let you be the judge of that, okay?" Hotch smiled down at Jack before he looked up and smiled at Emily.
"Okay, Daddy," Jack nodded. He then turned to look at Emily and waited for her to let them in. She looked back at him for a moment until Hotch cleared his throat and made her realize she was standing right in the middle of the doorway and blocking their way in.
"Oh, sorry!" she exclaimed as she took a step back. "Where's my head? Come in, come in."
"Go ahead, Jack," Hotch told his son when the little boy looked back up at him without moving forward. "I'm right behind you." He knew that Jack being a little clingy was normal after everything that had happened but he was trying to slowly and gently get him back to being the independent boy he'd been before.
It was only when Jack crossed the threshold that Emily noticed he was carrying a book bag and pulling a child sized suitcase. She snapped her eyes up to Hotch, only to find him straightening from picking up a duffle bag and pulling his own, adult sized, wheeled suitcase. She looked at him with a question in her eyes but he just shook his head and mouthed 'later'. She nodded and preceded him into the apartment, knowing he would close and lock the door.
"Here, honey, let me help you," she said, leaning down to help Jack take off his book pack. She put it, along with his suitcase, next to the staircase. She then stepped back so that Hotch could step in and put down the bags he carried. Looking at their stuff together made her realize that they'd brought more than enough for an overnight stay – they had more than enough even if they planned to stay the entire weekend. She opened her mouth to asked Hotch about it but closed it when she saw Jack step over and stand next to his father. They wouldn't really be able to talk until they got Jack settled; whatever Hotch had to say, it really wasn't for four year old ears.
"Jack, honey, how would you like to watch some TV?" she asked, holding her hand out. Jack looked at her and looked up at his father, obviously not sure if he should, or even wanted, to step away from the safety of being next to his dad.
"Go ahead, buddy," Hotch smiled down at his and ruffled his hair. "I'm sure there's something you like on TV."
"Okay, Daddy," Jack nodded and turned to Emily. "Where's your TV, Miss Emily?"
"Its right this way," Emily kept her hand extended and after another moment's hesitation, Jack reached out and took it. "You can just call me Emily, you know," she smiled down at the younger Hotchner as she led him to the living room.
"But you're a grown up and Daddy's friend," Jack told her earnestly. "I have to be 'espetful." It took her a moment but when she figured out he meant 'respectful', she couldn't help but smile down at him.
"Oh, honey, you are that," she assured him. "I don't think I've ever met a more respectful four year old," she added; it didn't really matter than she hadn't met that many four year olds, she was sure it was still true. "Now, why don't you sit down and let's see what we can find on the TV that you like, huh?"
"Okay," he nodded and climbed on the sofa as she turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels.
"I know I have some cartoon/kids channels but since I never really watch them, I don't remember . . . oh, here they are. I knew there were here somewhere; okay, you let me know if you see something you like. I hope there's something you like," she shook her head as she continued, "not that it wouldn't surprise me if there wasn't. More than a hundred channels and there's rarely anything good to watch . . ."
"This is good," Jack spoke up, interrupting her half-hearted rant.
"This?" she asked. "You sure?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "I like Dora the Explorer." Emily looked up at Hotch to check if that was a choice he approved of and he nodded to let her know he did.
"It's actually an educational cartoon," he told her and she smiled back at him.
"I know very little about this generation's cartoons," she shrugged.
"No reason why you should," he said.
"I guess not," she agreed before looking back at Jack who already seemed to be lost in the world of Dora. "Honey, you okay? Would you like something to drink?"
"No, I'm fine, thank you," Jack answered, not taking his eyes away from the television.
"Okay, then," Emily nodded. "I'll just be in the kitchen if you need anything, k?" When Jack just nodded, she smiled again and stepped away from the living room. "Coming?" she asked Hotch when she walked past him; he nodded and followed her to the kitchen. "Do you want to start on the salad?" she asked him. "You know where everything is."
"Sure," Hotch answered and started to look for the vegetables and bowls.
"So," Emily said a few moments later. "I didn't think I'd see you before you went back to work – if you went back to work, that is." Hotch turned his head to look at her when she added the last part before he turned back to what he was doing.
"I take it you've heard about Strauss' offer?" he asked.
"Yeah," Emily nodded. "Rossi told me about it. It's just like Strauss to use someone else's tragedy to try and advance her own agenda." The disgust she felt for the older woman was clear in her voice and had his eyebrows going up for a moment even as a small smile flitted across his face.
"I'm sure she thought she was doing me a favor by offering me early retirement," he countered.
"Oh, I'm sure," he could tell she was sneering even if he couldn't see her face. "I'm sure all her motives were altruistic. What did she do when you told her 'thanks, but no thanks?'?"
"She was very surprised," he answered. "She was sure I was going to take it; it was actually a fair and logical offer. It was very tempting so how do you know I said no?"
"I know you, Hotch," she shrugged. "I know what this job means to you; I know that, healthy or not, it is not only what you do but, in a very real sense, it is part of who you are. And I know you're just not ready to stop – I doubt you'll be ready for quite a while. Not that I don't know that you would quit in a minute if that was what you thought would be best for Jack; but I'm sure you found someone to help you?" she asked as she threw a side long glance his way.
"Yes," Hotch nodded. "Jessie has agreed to take care of him whenever I'm out of town. She wants to do that for Hailey; I think it's a good idea."
"Yes, it sounds like it. I'm sure it'll be good for both of them to stay close," Emily agreed. "You know that the team and I will help you in any way we can but . . ."
"But you can't very well help me with Jack," he finished for her, "when you're on the road with me."
"Yes, exactly," she nodded. "I'm glad Jessica's going to help you; not only because it'd be good for Jack to see his aunt on a regular basis but, and I know this is completely selfish, but well," she shrugged, "it'd be really good to have you back at work."
"Really?" he asked; he wasn't asking for validation but he knew he could be intense and at times even overbearing and part of him had thought the team would be happy to see him go.
"Yes, really," she answered.
"But you guys just proved that you don't need me to solve cases," he argued and something in his voice had her putting down the spoon and turning around to look at him.
"Hotch," she said softly and waited until he turned to look at her before she continued, "yes, we've proven we can solve cases without you but that doesn't mean we want to; we're good by ourselves but we're better with you. And the fact is . . . it's just not the same without you. Morgan's good but he's not you," she shrugged. "And it's just weird to have him as the leader."
"You don't like having him as team leader?" he asked with some surprise.
"I liked it just fine but . . . he's not you," Emily said again. "You are coming back as team leader, aren't you?" she suddenly sounded apprehensive.
"Yes," he nodded and couldn't help but feel gratified that she seemed to want him back not just on the team but as the leader. "I talked to Morgan and he's more than fine with stepping down."
"I'm not surprised," she nodded and turned back to her cooking. "I told you he would step down once this . . . situation was . . . resolved." She cringed when she realized how insensitive that could sound and wondered if he'd take offense but he just nodded.
"Yes, you did tell me that," Hotch murmured.
"And I really don't think Morgan's quite ready to be team leader anyway," Emily continued, glad he hadn't taken offense. "Especially when it's your team; and he just still has way too much fun smashing through doors."
"That he does," he nodded again and they fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments as both remembered the countless other evenings where they had prepared dinner together. "You were right," he finally said.
"Of course I was," she readily agreed as she threw him a grin over her shoulder. "About what exactly?"
"About me having to go on with my life," he answered quietly; Emily was so surprised she half turned to look at him but he kept his eyes on the vegetables he was prepping, "about not letting guilt consume my life so that I have nothing but Jack in it. I can't make him my crutch; that wouldn't be fair to anyone, especially to a four year old. It's right that he be the center of my world but he can't be all of it; I can't put that kind of burden on him. I have to have a well-rounded life to be the kind of father I want to be and to set the example I want to set for him. I have to go on - I just . . . I have to move on."
"Yes, you do," she quietly agreed.
"I could probably do it alone," Hotch continued. "If I had to, I guess I could but I find that I don't want to. I was part of a couple for twenty years and . . . I miss that – not that I want what I had with Hailey back or that I in any way or form think you're like Hailey or want you to be like her but what we've had for the last few weeks – I like that, I miss that, I want that back . . . and I think, I'm pretty sure I want it on a permanent basis."
"I want that too, Aaron," she said softly, turning completely to face him. And at her agreement and use of his given name, he finally turned too.
"I . . . I made a lot of mistakes with Hailey," he admitted. "And I'm not talking about this whole mess with Foyet; I'm talking during our marriage . . ." he trailed off and then said something that had been bothering him for a few days. "Jessie said a few days ago that everyone knew my marriage to Hailey hadn't ended because we stopped loving each other but because of my job."
"You don't agree?" Emily sounded surprised at the pensive tone in his voice.
"I'm not sure," he shrugged. "I know I love her and that I always will and I know she loved me but . . . I don't know; a few days ago you said that I was no longer in love with her and I've been thinking that maybe I stopped being in love with her before the marriage was over and she stopped being in love with me before she walked out. Would I have let her go otherwise? You know me, Emily; you know my personality. Do you think I would or could have let her walk away if I was still in love with her?"
"Do you really want me to answer that?" she asked and when he nodded, she sighed and said what she had thought from the beginning. "No, I don't think you'd have let her walk if you'd still been in love with her – if you had still considered her yours. You're an alpha, through and through and as such, you're possessive and territorial, you protect what you consider yours, you don't give up without a fight and you fight until you drop. So, yeah, I do think you stopped being in love with her before she walked out and I think deep down you knew it and that's why you didn't really fight the divorce. If you had thought there was something still worth saving in your marriage, you'd have dug in and fought but you didn't."
"And I think," she added after a moment's hesitation, "I think she felt the same and that's why she left. Because the fact of the matter is, Hotch, you can't ask your spouse to change who he is and not expect some nasty repercussions. And to change who you are was just what she wanted when she asked you to leave the BAU and she knew that. She probably also knew that if you had left the BAU after you came back from Milwaukee, you'd have ended up resenting her for it."
"And that's why she walked?" he asked with a slight grimace as he crossed his arms. "Couldn't she have stayed and talked about it? We might have found a compromise." He couldn't really fathom just walking away from two decades of marriage and though Emily understood where he was coming from she wasn't sure he understood where Hailey had been emotionally.
"But that's the whole point, Hotch," she said gently. "She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to compromise; she knew the marriage was over. She probably knew it the minute you walked out the door." She paused again and then decided since she'd gone this far she might as well finish it. "Leaving might have been the best thing she did for both of you; because, when all is said and done, I don't think she would or could have asked you to leave the BAU if she was still in love with you – and she more than likely knew that. Just as you knew when you walked into an empty house and decided not to go after her, that you were no longer in love with her – if you had been, she wouldn't have needed to ask you anything because you'd have acted long before that became necessary."
"If she had still been the woman I loved," he said thoughtfully, "if I'd seen and treated her more like my wife and not just the mother of my child, she wouldn't have needed reassurance, she wouldn't have been jealous or felt threatened by my work – and I wouldn't have found it so easy to bury myself in work to the point of ignoring her."
"And she would have felt more comfortable and more secure in reclaiming your attention if you did bury yourself in work," she added because she knew how demanding their job was and how dedicated he was to it and she was pretty sure he could still get buried in it whether he was in love or not.
"But how did we get to that point?" he murmured in a tortured voice. He frowned as he looked down at his shoes. "We were so in love when we married," he added softly. "I couldn't imagine my life without her; all I wanted was to grow old with her. What happened? How did that feeling end? What did we – what did I do wrong?" He asked, looking at her as if she had all the answers and she sighed as she leaned back. She just hoped that she was helping him and not making things worse. It really was ironic that she was giving him relationship advice when out of the two he was the one that had had a long lasting relationship.
"I don't think it's anything either of you did, Hotch," she finally answered. "Sometimes life just happens. I think, sometimes, you go about your life, making the thousand and one small, insignificant decisions you make every day, not thinking about any of them, not considering what the consequences might be later on – or even that there will be consequences later on and then one day you wake up and don't really know how you even got to be where you are. And you're living with a person you don't even really know anymore and though you might still love them, you aren't 'in love' with them anymore because somehow, despite your intentions, you didn't grow older together, you grew apart and you're no longer quite the same people you were when you married. It's not something you did or didn't do, it's just something that happens sometimes," she repeated.
"For someone that I know has never been married," Hotch said, sounding a little bemused, "or even been in a long lasting relationship, you sure seem to know a lot about this subject." Though it was said as a statement, Emily heard the question and shrugged.
"I grew up in the political world, remember?" she said. "I might not have been divorced myself but I've seen more than my share of it. And of all the reasons I've seen for it, I think the saddest one is when the love dries up, when there's not even enough passion left to fight or even get seriously worked up over the end of a marriage – when the end of the marriage and the end of a life style hurts more than the loss of the person you vowed to spend the rest of your life with. . ." she trailed off when she realized exactly what she was saying and to whom. "I'm sorry I … I know how painful that time was for you and I …"
"No; you have nothing to apologize for," he shook his head. "You're right. It was very painful and it took me a long time but I've come to realize you're right. It was the loss of married life, of the comfortable life style I'd been used to and not being able to give my son the stable family life I wanted to give him that hurt more than actually losing Hailey."
"Not to mention the fact that failing at anything is not something you're used to," she added. "Or know how to gracefully accept."
"Yes, well," was his oh so graceful agreement before he went back to what was bothering him. "But from what you're saying, it sounds as if love ends when you don't pay enough attention to your partner – when you don't take the time to live and to share your life with them."
"I don't think it's that simple," Emily shook her head. "Because I think that sometimes life happens and you don't have much control over it – if any."
"Are you saying that we have no control over whether a marriage ultimately fails or not?" he asked, not sounding the least bit appeased by the prospect.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I think we don't really get to decide who we fall in love with or when we do it; sometimes it happens with the least likely or least appropriate person or at the most inconvenient time. But it happens and we have to deal with it. And maybe, sometimes, love ends whether we want it to or not and we have to deal with that too."
"But if you don't know how or why it happens," he argued, "how can you prevent it from happening again? There has to be a way because I don't think I can go through it again. I don't think I have it in me to lose another woman I love." It was said so casually and sounded so much like an establish, undisputed fact, that it took her a moment to realize the importance of that little phrase and then, because it had almost seemed as if he was thinking out loud, she had to wonder if he'd realized what he said.
"Well," she smiled and tried to act as if her heart wasn't trying to beat out of her chest, "there are no guarantees in life and we know that better than anyone. But, I think we can also be as sure as anyone can be that that won't happen to us – that we won't fail." She put as much confidence as she could into her voice and surprised herself when she realized that she was actually as confident about the fact that they would make it as she had been about anything in her entire life.
"How can you be sure of that?" he asked. She was once again struck by the novelty of being the reassuring one in their relationship; though, given the last few weeks, maybe she shouldn't have been that surprised.
"Because I know you," she answered simply. "And I know you will do everything and anything in your power to make sure this relationship doesn't end like your last one, because I think I've seen and experienced enough, that I know all the ways to screw up a relationship so that I know what not to do. And because," she added, "well, because I'm not Hailey and you're not the same man you were back then. I'm not saying we won't have problems but we won't have the problems you two had; the biggest one of which was probably communication. I think you kept the job and everything you see in it as far away from your home as you could and, because the job is such a big part of who you are, you eventually started to keep bigger and bigger parts of yourself out of your marriage. But I know the job inside and out, Hotch; I see what you see, I know all of your nightmares and I have some of my own. There's no part of your life I'm not privy to. The fact is I know you very well."
"You do know me," he repeated. "I think you know me better than Hailey ever did – definitely better than she did at the end of our marriage," he admitted.
"And you know me better than anyone else," she told him. "I think you might know me better than I know myself sometimes. As long as we keep knowing each other inside and out, as long as we keep the lines of communications open, don't let things fester but talk out whatever bothers us, we'll be fine."
"We have to keep being Hotch and Prentiss at work," he put in.
"That might be hard at times," she pointed out, "but not undoable. And we have to commit to not let whatever frustrations or problems happen at work affect our home life – or at least promise that we'll talk about it and resolve it as soon as we leave the office."
"And we should really try not to go to sleep angry," he added. "It might sound corny and God knows it's not easy to do but I think it's a good rule of thumb."
"I agree," she nodded. "There are no guarantees in life," she repeated. "But I think we have a better than even chance to make this work. And you know," she added with a smirk, "we can always profile each other once a month to make sure we're on the right track." He quickly smothered a groan as he shook his head.
"I think we should place the same moratorium on profiling each other that we have on the team," he quickly suggested.
"Please," she rolled her eyes. "Like we don't profile each other all the time."
"Maybe we do," he agreed as he stepped right up to her. "But we at least have the decency to keep those profiles to ourselves."
"Maybe," she shrugged and grinned at him. "But we use them as a basis for how we interact with each other – this wouldn't be that different."
"Emily," he whispered as he placed one hand on her waist and the other around her neck. "I'm going to kiss you now," he announced.
"I was wondering when you were going to get around to that," she murmured right before he closed his lips over hers. He had quickly checked on his son before walking up to her and knew Jack was immersed in the TV as such he knew he could take his time and make their first kiss something to remember. When they finally came up for air, she sighed softly and slowly raised eyelids she hadn't been aware of closing. She studied his tender smile and softly glowing eyes before she gathered the courage to make her own declaration.
"I love you, too," she softly told him and had the pleasure of watching his eyes widen first in happiness and then in confusion when he registered the 'too' she'd used. It took him awhile but he finally realized what she was alluding too and grimaced in reaction.
"Damn it," he cursed softly. "The probably wasn't the most artful declaration you've ever heard, huh?"
"Nope," she gaily shook her head. "But I'll take it – if you meant it."
"I did – I do," he nodded. "But I think I can do better than that," he took a deep breath and shifted the hand on her neck until he was cupping her face. "I love you, Emily."
"And I love you, Aaron," she said once more before leaning in for another toe curling kiss. After which, she burrowed into his shoulder and he closed his arms around her. Emily was more than content to spend the rest of the night in his arms but they had dinner to finish and she finally remembered all the luggage her (newly acquired) boys had brought over.
"Hey, what's with all the bags?" she asked as she gently pulled back. "You guys intend to stick around the whole weekend?"
"If you'll have us," he answered lightly, but searched her eyes intently. "You know Jack and I come as a package and maybe you're not ready for him to . . ."
"Don't be silly," she lightly scolded him and leaned forward to give him a quick kiss. "You know I'd love for you guys to just move in right now," she made a gesture to indicate dinner and he agreed with a nod before they silently went back to making it. The life changing moment seamlessly merged into an everyday life moment and it wouldn't be until later that they realized just how effortlessly merging their lives would really be. Poems, movies, songs, most of them portray falling in love and getting your 'happily ever after' as this huge, bigger than life moment and while those had their appeal, it was the little, every day moments, making dinner, watching TV, going to bed, waking up, phone calls in the middle of the day to share something funny or to reach for a shoulder to cry on – it was those moments that made up life and what better way to start a life together than by deciding to do so in the middle of one of them? It seemed more than appropriate to both of them.
"But?" he prompted her when she hesitated.
"It's just," she finished stirring the pot and turned back to face him. "This is such a hard time for you guys, and especially for Jack that I just don't want to do anything to make it harder. Do you think it's a good idea to have him hopping from here to your place when he's already going to be staying with Jessie for quite a bit?"
"I was actually thinking we might just move in now," he told her, once again studying her intently.
"Do you think that's wise?" she asked him. "I would love to have you guys with me all the time," she reassured him before he could even think to ask, "but there is so much upheaval in Jack's life right now, are you sure moving him to a strange house with . . . well, basically a stranger is such a good idea?" He could tell she was just worried about Jack because he could all but see the yearning to have them live with her in her eyes.
"I'm sure," Hotch nodded. "Like you said, this is a really confused and confusing time for Jack and it'll be awhile before things calm down and he regains any routine and stability but we just agreed we both want this, right? And we want it on a permanent basis?"
"Yes," she nodded emphatically.
"And we're both old enough and mature enough to be sure that we want it, to know exactly what we're getting into and to commit to making it work," he said, "given all that, I think it's a pretty safe bet that we'd be making the decision to move in together sooner rather than later. And if we're just going to end up right back here in a few months time, what's the point of waiting? Why should I have him settle down into a routine over at my place only to have to uproot him and disrupt his life all over again once we finally decide to move in? I think it would be less confusing, certainly less of an upheaval if we move in now when his life is already in transition."
"Well," she said slowly as she thought about his argument, "that makes sense; that makes a lot of sense actually."
"You don't have to sound so surprised," he grumbled. "I've been known to make sense from time to time."
"I know," she grinned at him but then a thought had her sobering up. "But what will Jessie think about it? I mean, she's going to have to know if she's taking care of him when we're not home."
"I already talked it over with her," he told her. "And she thinks it might be the best way to go on about it."
"You talked to her about us?" Emily asked, faintly with a blush creeping up her cheeks, which she did her best to hide by turning back to the face the stove.
"Yes," he nodded. "Like you said, she was going to find out sooner rather than later and since we're not doing anything wrong, I thought it better if I was up front from the beginning."
"I … I see," she nodded, stirring the pot quite unnecessarily to give herself some more time before turning to face him again. "And what did she say?"
"She was a little surprised," she could hear the shrug in his voice. "But it's been a couple of years since my divorce from Hailey and, as much as it might have seemed otherwise, my life didn't stop then and it can't stop now that Hailey's . . . gone and she knows that. She was somewhat . . . guarded with her opinion but she's not against it. She wants what's best for Jack and me and well, I made a good case in trying to convince her that's you."
"Oh," she whispered and blinked back a sudden rush of tears as she quickly beat the spoon on the side of the pot and set it down on the counter before she turned and rushed to hug him. "You say the nicest things," she murmured into his shoulder. He was surprised but quickly turned and gathered her into his arms once more.
"I try," he quipped and had her laughing.
"What about work?" she asked a few moments later, leaning a little back so she could look him in the eye.
"What about it?" he asked.
"Well," she drawled. "Not to make too much of a deal out of it, but we're kind of breaking the rules, aren't we?"
"Not really," he shook his head. "But would you care if we were?"
"Nope," she shook hers. "Not me; I kinda thought you would, though, being such a stickler for them."
"Nope, don't really care either," he drawled and had her laughing again.
"That's good to know," she said before sobering up. "But what did you mean by 'not really'? How can we be 'not really' breaking the rules?"
"The FBI doesn't have a rule against a previously established couple working in the same chain of command," he explained. "And when we became a couple, whether you want to consider that tonight or while I was living here these last few weeks, I wasn't your boss. Hence, we aren't really breaking any rules. In fact, I won't be your boss for another couple of weeks so that gives us a window."
"A window?" she asked her eyes wide in awe. It seemed she'd forgotten just how devious his legally trained mind could work.
"Well, I was thinking," and for the first time since they'd started talking he seemed nervous about her reaction, "since we've already decided that we want this for keeps and we know what we're getting and we want it anyway," and damn it, he was in danger of babbling so he just sucked it up and spitted it out, "I was thinking," he repeated and then stalled a little because there were a couple of different ways he could go about it but in the end he decided the classic was a classic for a reason. He took a deep breath and asked, "Emily Prentiss, would you marry me?"
It wasn't exactly easy to do, but every once in a while Emily Prentiss could be struck speechless and it appeared as if Aaron Hotchner had found one of the few ways to accomplish it. She blinked her eyes a couple of hundred times and closed and opened her mouth a least a dozen times before she was able to draw in a big enough breath, and get her brain functioning enough, to actually answer the man, who by that point had started to really worry about her reaction.
"Yes," she finally managed to whisper it. "Yes!" she said once more a little louder. "Yes, I'll marry you," she said a third time before she tightened the arms around his neck that had become loose with her shock and leaned forward for her first kiss as an engaged woman. As much as they wanted to, they couldn't lose themselves in the kiss because they had dinner to finish and a suddenly thirsty four year old that was asking for juice and was looking at them with questions in his eyes – questions they had to do their best to answer. So, they had to postpone the celebration but since that meant that they could actually start living and enjoying the new journey that they were embarking on, their new lives together, neither one complained.