Jacob Black was gone. The russet colored wolf that was running through the trees wasn't the Jacob Black who liked a fight, or fell in love, or teased his friends. That Jacob was gone. The new Jacob wasn't a Jacob at all, just a wolf. A wolf that had to get away from its pack, to get as far away as possible until all memory of the pack was gone. Until the former Beta of his pack became a lone wolf.
Jacob had been running for the past three days and had no intention of looking back on his life in La Push. Whenever he thought of La Push, he thought about before the legend came true and before the bloodsuckers came. Before the Cullens took the love of his life away. When Edward broke Bella's heart.
Jacob shivered as he ran. The pain was so vivid. She was going to become one of them. After their wedding, Edward was going to make Bella a bloodsucker. Bella would be just as bad as the newborn vampire that nearly killed him. Bella would never be the same, however hard she tried.
If Jacob had been in human form, he would have cried, but he was a wolf. In wolf form, the pain was still there, but it was dulled. A bit like being on pain medication. The pain was still there, and so were the memories, but there was more control on the extent of the pain. His other senses were heightened so that it was easier to focus on something else when he was a wolf.
Jacob was caught off guard when he heard a faint, "Jake…Bella…Billy…"
It sounded like the whole pack was calling out to him, begging him to come home. Jacob's arm muscles spasmed as the pain that he associated with Bella coursed through his body. Jacob sped up until the voices in his head finally faded away. After that, the pain dulled again.
Jacob was losing his mind. What was happening to him? He couldn't think, only run. Days of running had begun to take their course on Jacob's wolf form, but he was afraid of how much pain he would have to endure when the painkiller wore off.
The lone wolf shook its head. If an onlooker hadn't known better, it would have seemed that the wolf's howl was a cry of emotional pain, like its heart was being wrenched apart.
"I'm sorry Jacob…Jacob, my Jacob…I would have wanted the choice…" The words that had broken Jacob's heart drifted in and out of his fitful sleep. Jacob had run for five days before his wolf strength had dissolved. Jacob had collapsed; he didn't care where, and fell into unconsciousness. Bella had haunted his dreams, just like his waking life. He couldn't get her out of his mind. He was going insane.
A cold hand slowly rubbing his shoulders interrupted Jacob's nightmares. The misty voices faded away and Jacob slowly rolled over. He was surprised to be staring into a pair of deep chocolate eyes.
He instinctively started back from the face that was so close to his. The eyes went from an intent expression to a genuinely frightened one. The soft russet skin paled until it became an ashen shade of murky gray. The brown eyes widened and the cold hand that was still on Jacob's shoulder tensed then began to shiver with the rest of the girl's body. Still, the hand held firm, as if Jacobs' energy was coursing through hers and she wouldn't cut the flow.
Jacob tried to sit up, but began to feel the pain of the past week wash over him and lay back down, groaning as he did so. Bella's features swam in front of his vision, then those of Edward and the other Cullens. Fierce anger mixed with painful heartbreak caused Jacob's eyes to well up with tears, then spill over. The grief of losing his best friend to his worst enemy was overwhelming; the adult that had been trying so hard to handle his pain gave way for the little grieving lovesick boy that was Bella's Jacob, and he began to sob.
Jacob hadn't cried since he had found out that he was a werewolf. The loss of control was oddly comforting, almost like the tears pouring out of his eyes were washing the pain and guilt away.
The cold hand began to rub Jacob's shoulders again. Jacob was so wrapped in his sadness that he didn't notice the cold body slowly lowering onto the cot where he lay. The shivering hands started to rub his back and, almost hesitantly, her face was lowered onto Jacob's warm chest. A cold hand began to wipe away the tears on Jacob's face.
Jacob's sobs slowed after a few minutes, his breathing evened out, and he was finally able to sit up in his little cot and examine his surroundings.
Jacob was situated in the corner of a small room, what seemed to be the living or dining room. In the middle of the room was a small round table and in the opposite corner was a shabby sofa. The house had the same layout of his, and Jacob felt almost at home in the room. For the first time in weeks, his breathing was steady.
Jacob suddenly realized that it was the girl's back against his chest that had evened out his breathing. The small shivering form had settled into Jacob's chest during his episode and had curled up in a semi-fetal position. A cold hand reached up and wiped the tears that stained Jacob's face with shivering fingers. Then, as quickly as it came, the hand recoiled back into a single person huddle. Her figure was a cool relief on Jacob's warm body. For a split second, Jacob associated the cool form with the bloodsuckers that had ruined his life, but the cold body was comforting against his chest. After a few minutes of laying still, the girl's breathing became softer and Jacob recognized that she was asleep. His eyelids began to close as well, and soon the two were sleeping peacefully, ice on fire, temporarily numbed from the pain that fell heavy on both souls.
Jacob was woken by a putrid stench and a warm tingling sensation on his chest. He opened his eyes and saw the cold girl's eyes staring intently at his chest, a cool hand rested firmly on his forehead. The other hand was spreading some kind of thick, awful smelling mixture onto Jacob's chest. Jacob inhaled deeply, and then choked on the stench.
"What—what is that?" Jacob spluttered.
The cold girl looked terrified as she slowly replied, "It's for your fever. I want to make you better." Her voice was so quiet that Jacob could barely hear her.
Jacob looked at the cold girl, and felt his temper bubbling to the surface. Then it exploded. "You idiot! You're just as bad as everyone else! I don't have a bloody fever! I don't have half of my body crushed because of a motorcycle accident! I'm not sick! The only problem is that I'mLOSING MY MIND!" Once again, the pain of his grief began to wreak havoc on his body, and Jacob collapsed into a fit of sobs.
Just like before, the cold girl's hand made it's way up to Jacob's face and wiped away some of the tears. Then, Jacob's head was rested against the cold girl's lap and a cold hand was stroking his chin length hair, undoing the knots that had accumulated for days, then cupping his face until the sobs subsided.
"Ca –can you get th—the bl –blankets off of me?" Jacob requested when he was somewhat calm again.
The cold girl looked nervous. "But, but I'm sweating out the fever for you," she whispered almost inaudibly.
Jacob felt his form convulse. If he couldn't control himself, he would change to wolf form. He couldn't change, not here. An image of Emily's beautiful face passed by his mind's eye and caused Jacob to regain control. Sam had lost control too close to Emily, and had destroyed her beauty. What damage could he do to the cold girl when she was nearly on top of him?
Jacob said through clenched teeth, "I don't have a fever. I am perfectly fine."
Then the cold girl did something that both melted Jacob's heart and broke it anew. A single tear fell on the poultice and she whispered, "I'm sorry."
Jacob slowly eased himself up into an upright position. "It's okay, it's okay. We might as well start this over right. My name's Jacob Black and I'm from La Push. I'm a Quileute. Who are you?"
The cold girl stared intently into Jacob's eyes when she replied, "My Christian name is Alana, but my Native name is Tala Tadita, or Wolf Runner."
When Jacob met those deep eyes again after Alana's response Jacob knew something. It wasn't the kind of knowledge that was found in books, or in lessons, or in stories. It was the kind of knowledge that was found when one saw through different eyes and thought with another's mind, and realized that the rest of his heart lay just in front of him.