**WARNINGS**
NOT FRIENDLY TO BLAINE, RACHEL OR SAM.
CONTAINS CONVERSATIONS ABOUT SEXUAL ASSAULT IN CANON, AND SIMILAR TO CANON, AND A CONVERSATION ABOUT SUICIDAL THOUGHTS.
(Rated M for these themes, but nothing is explicit in my opinion.)
Author's note: So I had an idea for a Kadam Valentine's Day fic. And then it grew into this huge beast. This chapter is only about Lima, and Kurt's life there. I started to wonder what Kurt's life would be like if he had stayed close friends with Mercedes even after he met and started crushing on Blaine. How would this impact Kurt's life in high school, and how he experienced meeting Adam Crawford in New York?
This chapter contains brief Klaine, and also a relationship between Kurt and Chandler Kiehl.
It is an AU that diverges from canon the night of "The Car Scene" in The First Time.
Chapter Two will be a romance about Kadam (endgame.)
I am tagging this with Kurt, Mercedes, Adam Crawford, and Chandler Kiehl.
This is unbeta'd.
Thank you for reading.
Kurt Hummel is a teenage boy who lives in Lima, Ohio. He likes to sing and dance and drink coffee. He likes fashion, and he likes boys, and he knows more about cars than any other teenager in Lima.
More than anything, he wants to go to New York and perform on Broadway.
Kurt is in love with his friend Blaine.
Blaine is sweet and dapper, but he's also a little self-centered and obtuse. Kurt pines after him for ages, until one day when Blaine hears Kurt sing a song about a little bird, and Blaine falls in love with Kurt.
Kurt and Blaine start dating, and it's a magical season in Kurt's life.
Until one Thursday night in the parking lot of a gay bar when Blaine lays it all to waste.
How different things might have been, if Kurt's friend Mercedes hadn't taken that short cut home that night, on her way home from her church youth group meeting.
Mercedes would not have driven by Kurt's house and seen his Navigator parked in the driveway with the lights on.
But she does.
She slows down and pulls her car over, and sends Kurt a text message.
Mercedes: I just pulled up in front of your house.
Kurt: can you come get in my car please?
One look at Kurt's face tells her something is very wrong.
"What happened?" she asks softly.
Kurt slowly lets out his story about Blaine's harsh words and his cold wandering hands.
Mercedes takes Kurt's hand, and she listens.
And listens.
She listens until Kurt is done.
"What do you want to do?" she asks him gently.
"I don't know. I have to get through this show. Two more nights. I don't want to cause any trouble."
Mercedes frowns. "You are not the one causing trouble here."
"I'm not so sure. I must have done something to make him think that he could..." Kurt's not sure how to end that sentence.
"I don't know," he says in a quiet voice, wrapping himself up in his arms, making himself as small as possible.
She looks at Kurt.
This is not okay.
Mercedes decides to tell him a story she's never told anyone, about a boy at her Bible camp who scared her one summer night.
Now it's Kurt's turn to patiently listen to a story that is unfortunately very similar to his own.
"Now would you ever tell me that I did anything to give that boy ideas?" she asks.
"NEVER," Kurt whispers fiercely.
"Then you have to believe the same thing for yourself," she insists.
Kurt pauses, thinking.
"I'll think about it," he promises.
"Whatever you want to do, I'm here for you, Boo."
Friday at school, Kurt and Blaine avoid each other.
Later that night, the curtain goes up on West Side Story at McKinley High, and Kurt plays his part. He believes that the show must go on, and he throws himself into the role of Officer Krupke and does the best he can, despite the turmoil he's in. Actually, it's a nice distraction.
Sebastian and the other Warblers are in the audience.
Kurt keeps his feelings inside, but Blaine is obviously upset, and he keeps making mistakes with his lines and missteps in the choreography. Gossip buzzes backstage about what could possibly be wrong with him.
Kurt hears Artie whisper the word "drinking" to Rachel, and she stares back at Artie in disbelief and horror.
Kurt doesn't get involved.
When the show is over, Mercedes is waiting for him in the wings like she has promised him.
"You were wonderful!" she says, giving Kurt a big warm hug.
"Thank you honey," he says, hugging her back. "I need to get out of here. I just need to change out of my costume first."
"I will be right here," says Mercedes.
Kurt tries to ignore Sebastian, who is standing next to Blaine, congratulating him as if he had performed beautifully. Sebastian looks down at Blaine with an expression on his face like Blaine is a delicious French pastry that Sebastian wants to devour in one bite.
It stings.
Kurt rushes into the classroom that serves as the boys' dressing room, grabbing his clothes as fast as he can. He brings them into the girls' dressing room so he won't run into Blaine while he's changing. The girls welcome him warmly to their inner sanctum; none of them mind a bit that he's there.
He changes quickly.
Tina asks him for help with the zipper on the back of her dress. "You did a great job, Kurt," she says. "Do you know what's going on with Blaine?"
"I have to go," says Kurt. He hangs up his costume on one of the racks in the room and walks out of the dressing room.
He goes into the boys' bathroom and takes out his cosmetic bag to get out his makeup removal supplies, so he can take off his stage makeup.
When his face is clean, Kurt goes back onto the stage, heading for the spot where Mercedes is waiting for him in the wings. Kurt sees Blaine out of the corner of his eye. Blaine is practicing his spins alone on the stage, working hard to improve his moves.
If only Kurt's broken heart were as important to him.
Blaine sees him with his coat on and his keys in his hand, and starts walking over to him.
"Kurt!" he calls out. "Can we talk?"
Kurt stops and his heart clenches as he looks at Blaine's worried face.
"Kurt. I know we had a fight about Sebastian, but we can get through that, can't we?"
Kurt swallows.
Blaine reaches his hand out. "Kurt, take my hand."
Kurt doesn't take it.
"No," says Kurt.
"What?"
"We are not going to get through this."
"What are you saying, Kurt?" Blaine looks at him with big sorrowful eyes.
"I am saying that I...I need to break up with you, Blaine.'
"But WHY?"
"This isn't about Sebastian." Kurt lowers his voice. "This is about you scaring me in my car last night. You wouldn't stop when I said no."
"I'm sorry, Kurt."
Kurt swallows hard, looking into Blaine's eyes.
He really loves Blaine, and this hurts.
"I was drunk, and I'm sorry," pleads Blaine.
"I'm sorry too, Blaine," says Kurt. "But I just don't trust you anymore."
Blaine's eyes are wet and Kurt looks away.
"I have to go," says Kurt.
"But Kurt! Kurt! Wait!"
Blaine calls his name as Kurt walks away toward Mercedes, who is waiting right where she said she would be.
"Let's get out of here," says Kurt, his voice breaking.
She takes his hand and they walk to the Navigator together.
"I don't want to talk about it now," says Kurt. "I just want to go home and try to sleep."
"I'll be at the show again tomorrow night if you need me," Mercedes says when Kurt drops her off.
"Thank you," he says. "You're the best."
He waits until Mercedes is inside her house and her lights are on before he drives away.
Kurt has a rough time sleeping, but then it's Saturday morning, so he takes his time getting out of bed, and has a slow day at home.
When he walks into McKinley on Saturday evening, Rachel is waiting for him in the lobby. Her brown eyes are flashing with anger.
"I gave Blaine up for you, and this his how you repay me?"
Kurt is aching, and he is so not ready for Rachel's brand of crazy right now.
"First of all, that's a lie. Blaine didn't want you. And second, you have Finn, so what are you complaining about? And third..."
No. Kurt is not telling Rachel what Blaine did. The tingling in his spine tells him she cannot be trusted.
"That's not what happened and you know it," he says.
"If you had just slept with him, we wouldn't have this problem," says Rachel.
"What?" he asks her, confused, but she just keeps going.
"You wouldn't have upset Blaine by giving him the silent treatment on Friday. He wouldn't have made all those mistakes in the show."
"I wouldn't have upset BLAINE?"
"He's probably going back to Dalton now! And I need him here! To sing with me!"
"This isn't about you Rachel!"
Something clicks in Kurt's mind.
"Wait a minute," Kurt says. "How would you know if I slept with him or not?"
Rachel bites her lip.
"We...um..."
"Yes?" Kurt's tone is icy.
"We both felt that..." Rachel looks around the hallway. "As virgins, we were imposters, trying to play two epic lovers like Tony and Maria, so Blaine and I decided that we should have sex...with our soul mates, who we are in love with...so that we could better portray the truth of the story."
Kurt can't believe what he's hearing.
"My body is none of your business. My life is none of your business. You disgust me, Rachel Berry."
"Well, you'd better make up with Blaine, Kurt, because we have another show tonight and I can't have my Tony upset like this again."
Kurt walks away from her.
How can his dignity be just another step on her career path? He feels violated. He feels sick.
A text comes in on his phone.
Mercedes: Do you want to sleep over tonight?
Kurt: OMG YES
Mercedes: Already asked Dad. He can lend you some pajamas.
Kurt: I love you.
Kurt goes back to the girls' dressing room to get into his costume and makeup.
Mercedes is there again, to watch the show and to wait for Kurt again afterwards.
Kurt's dad comes to see the show too. Kurt hasn't told him yet about the breakup.
A wave of anger washes over Kurt, and he channels it into his character. A cop can be angry, right? He taps into that rage and lets himself enjoy being someone else for the night.
Blaine makes a few mistakes on stage, but he does a better job than the night before.
After the show, Burt finds Kurt and hugs him, and tells him he's done a great job.
"I wanted to say hi to Blaine," says Burt, "but I couldn't find him. Where is he?"
"Oh, he must be around here somewhere," said Kurt vaguely, with a tight little smile. Burt looks at him curiously for a minute, but he doesn't push.
"I'm having a sleepover with Mercedes tonight, and I'm really hungry, so I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay Dad?"
"Do you want to go out for a bite to eat?" asks Burt.
"Thank you Dad, but there's a cast party."
"Okay. You're staying at Mercedes' house?" Burt smirks, obviously believing otherwise.
Kurt rolls his eyes. "Yes, Dad. I am."
"You better be, boy," scolds Mercedes with a smile.
"All right son, see you tomorrow. Drive safe."
"Goodnight, Mr. Hummel."
"Goodnight Mercedes," says Burt warmly.
Kurt sees Blaine coming out of the boy's dressing room. "Come on Mercedes! We don't want to be late for the cast party!
"Bye dad!"
"Is there really a cast party?" Mercedes asks him when Burt is gone.
"At Blaine's house. I'm not going."
"Oh hell no. It's you and me, Boo. You and me."
"You know it," says Kurt, linking arms with Mercedes as they walk out of the building together. "Where is Shane tonight?"
"I told him you needed me this weekend."
"I need to buy him a present later."
Kurt paints Mercedes' fingernails a beautiful shade of burgundy, and he bakes brownies in her parents' kitchen, which they top with ice cream and bring into her family room.
They laugh over bad reality TV, and Mercedes listens when Kurt needs to talk.
"I can't believe those two fools would try to lose their virginity just for a show," says Mercedes.
"Rachel made it all about her," says Kurt. "It's disgusting."
Mercedes shakes her head. "That girl had better learn that other people are not just stepping stones for her success, or she's in for a world of hurt.
"And as for Blaine, I never did trust that little preppy."
Kurt laughs. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"Be a little less fabulous, I guess." She shrugs.
Kurt laughs again and takes another bite of his dessert.
In the morning, Kurt drives home and tells his dad everything. They have a long talk about it.
For the first time, Kurt actually wants to hurt Blaine when he sees the pain in Burt's eyes.
But he won't.
He is so grateful he has Mercedes and his dad on his side.
It's weird at school when he's not speaking to Rachel and Blaine.
At first Blaine and Rachel became inseparable. They glare at Kurt whenever he walks by them in the hallway or the lunch room. They put their heads together and whisper when Kurt walks into Glee.
"You should join the Troubletones," says Mercedes, "and then you won't have to deal with this nonsense. We're working on an Adele mashup and Santana and I sound amazing, if I do say so myself."
"I bet you do!" says Kurt.
He is considering the idea when Blaine announces one day in Glee that he is transferring back to Dalton.
Everyone looks at Kurt.
Rachel sings Blaine a tearful song from Dreamgirls while she glares at Kurt.
and it's hard to say good-bye, my love
hard to see you cry, my love
hard to open up that door
you're not sure what you're going for
Kurt is furious. Rachel may be losing a duet partner, but Kurt has lost things that are much more important.
Kurt has lost his trust in Blaine, his relationship with him, and his innocence in a way, although part of him is grateful Blaine stopped when he did that night in the Scandals parking lot.
How could we lose tomorrow? sings Rachel dramatically.
Kurt feels sick.
"I was a terrible friend after I met Blaine," he tells Mercedes that afternoon at the Lima Bean.
"It's fine," she says. "You needed to crush on him. I would have done the same."
"You're the best, sweetie."
"You know it!" She laughs and they tangle their fingertips together before sweeping their hair off their foreheads in a practiced gesture.
"You'll find love again," she says.
"I hope so, " says Kurt, sipping his coffee.
"I know so."
Kurt sits up in his chair. "And whether I do or not, I'm going to have a fabulous life anyway."
"Amen," says Mercedes.
The holidays are hard. Kurt wished he didn't miss Blaine, but he does.
On Thanksgiving, Kurt leaves his family in the evening and brings a homemade pumpkin pie he baked over to Mercedes' house.
He enjoys getting to know his friend's parents a little over dessert, as well as her boyfriend Shane.
Joan, Mercedes' mother, is an attorney who has recently been laid off from her law firm, and is busy searching for her next job. Kurt learns that she and Mercedes sing together in their church choir. Marcus, her father, works with computer software and loves superhero movies. He seems happy to listen to the women in his family as they hold up the conversation with Kurt and Shane.
Kurt leaves with plans for shopping at the Black Friday sales with Mercedes early the next morning.
After news gets out at Dalton about his breakup, Trent calls and asked Kurt out on a date. They go out for coffee, and few days later they go see a movie together.
They hold hands at the movies and they make out a little in Trent's car.
It's a really nice car.
A few days after that, Trent tells Kurt that he's in love with a boy at Dalton named Zach, and Zach has asked him out, and that's the end of Kurt and Trent.
Kurt is quietly relieved. Trent is adorable, but Kurt isn't over Blaine yet. Still, he pats himself on the back for putting himself out there, even if every Christmas song he hears reminds him of a flirty duet with a boy wearing too much hair gel, who still holds Kurt's heart, whether he deserves it or not.
The Christmas season cracks Kurt's heart wide open.
He feels raw.
He decides to avoid the TV with all its emphasis on happy couples, and he throws himself into his school work and his application to NYADA.
He and Mercedes are inseparable, and it's what keeps him going.
Weeks go by, and little by little, Kurt's broken heart begins to heal.
As Valentine's Day approaches, Kurt knows it will be painful, but a little better than Christmas, he thinks.
And then the little gifts start arriving at school. Valentines, candy, and small stuffed animals. Bouquets of flowers too. Most of them are delivered by someone in a gorilla suit.
Kurt has no idea who it is, and he's starting to worry.
He has a heart to heart with Mercedes at the Lima Bean one Wednesday afternoon.
"I don't know what to do, Cedes."
"Do you have any idea who they're from?"
"It's got to be Blaine," says Kurt.
A scowl passes over Mercedes face. "You're not thinking about getting back together with him."
"I don't know," says Kurt. "I really don't think it would be a good idea, but I still miss him."
"I'm sorry, honey."
"It could be someone playing a prank on me. It's probably not even Blaine at all. He's probably with Sebastian now."
"So you don't think it could be someone besides Blaine who actually has a thing for you?"
"I don't see how," says Kurt.
"You're gorgeous," says Mercedes, sipping her mocha. "Don't underestimate yourself."
"What about you Cedes?"
Mercedes paused. She looked down at her lap, sadly.
"I need to tell you something Kurt. I cheated on Shane."
Kurt's mouth hangs open in shock.
"I kissed Sam. I just told Shane about it. He said it felt like I punched him in the heart."
"Oh honey," says Kurt.
"And then Sam thought I was going back to him and I...I've just hurt both of them so much and now I love them both and it hurts too much to be with either one of them." Mercedes was crying.
"Sweetie," says Kurt.
"No, don't sweetie me, I'm an awful person."
"We all do things we've regretted to the people we love," says Kurt.
"What have you done?" she scoffs.
"I never told you about the time I told Blaine he was lying when he thought he might be bi, because he kissed Rachel and he liked it? I said bisexuality didn't really exist."
"You did not."
"Yeah. Nobody's perfect. We just get up and try to do better tomorrow."
"I guess," says Mercedes.
On Valentine's Day, Kurt is a mess. He gets another bouquet at school, signed by Blaine this time.
I miss you Kurt. Please be my Valentine.
He cries in the bathroom during third period and sends Blaine a text.
Kurt: I am throwing out all the cards and candy and stuffed animals and the answer is no.
Blaine: I only sent you flowers
Blaine: who gave you the rest of the stuff?
Shit.
He has two secret admirers.
Kurt heads to Breadstix to meet the other one that afternoon, his heart pounding.
Mercedes will be at the restaurant to meet him a bit later. They have a reservation at a place where a lot of the older guys at Dalton takes their dates, because Kurt wants to do something nice for Mercedes. She's been his rock this winter, and he wants to repay her, especially since she has a heartache of her own this Valentine's Day.
When Kurt sits down and Dave Karofsky takes off the gorilla head, he almost starts to cry.
And when he turns Dave down, Dave is visibly hurt and gets up to leave.
"I hope you like the candies. The butterscotch ones are my favorites."
"Great," mutters Kurt. "The only guys who want me on Valentine's Day are guys who've hurt me."
Dave turns around so fast it makes Kurt dizzy.
"What did you say?"
"Nothing."
"You said...did Blaine hurt you?"
"No of course not," Kurt says nervously.
"What did that dick do to you?"
"Nothing, nothing. Just broke my heart, you know, the usual."
Dave gives him a long look.
"I saw you with some flowers. Are those from Blaine?"
"Yeah."
As they're standing there talking, a guy with blond hair and a sneer walks up and confronts Dave.
"Well, well, well. Dave Karofsky."
"Shut up, asshole," says Dave.
Dave walks away from the guy and motions for Kurt to follow him.
"If that dick ever hurts you, I want you to know, you can call me. I'll be there. Whether you consider me a friend or not. Okay?"
"Okay," says Kurt.
"Okay," says Dave.
"And Dave?"
"Yeah?"
"Mercedes and I are at the Lima Bean almost every Wednesday, if you ever want to join us."
"I'll think about it."
When Mercedes arrives she leaves her car in the parking lot, and gets into Kurt's Navigator.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
"Yeah," he says. "You won't believe what happened. Are you okay?"
"Yeah. Can't complain. Are you?"
"Surprisingly, I am," said Kurt. "Feeling stronger every day."
They are both so glad when the day was over.
The next day after school, Kurt goes on Facebook and sees everyone congratulating Blaine for his new relationship with Sebastian.
He unfriends Blaine and scolds himself for not doing it sooner.
He looks for Dave's profile and makes a friend request. And then he notices that Dave is being attacked. His page is full of nasty homophobic slurs.
Kurt puts the phone number he finds on Dave's page in his phone, and then he calls Mercedes.
"I don't know what to do. I think Dave got outed because that guy saw us in Breadstix together."
He looks again, and David's Facebook profile is gone.
"Shit, his page is gone."
"Are you sure?"
He tries again and again. "I'm getting a bad feeling about this Cedes."
He texts Dave, but Dave doesn't answer. He calls, but it goes to voicemail. Kurt is frantic until he gets a text back a few hours later.
Dave: I asked to be admitted to the hospital because I was afraid I was going to harm myself
Kurt: OMG are you okay
Dave: not really but I hope I will be soon
Kurt: can I come visit you?
Kurt goes to visit Dave the next afternoon.
Kurt looks pale and sad to Dave, carrying a small bouquet of flowers.
"I'm really glad you went to the hospital."
"Thank you."
They have a long talk. Dave is hurting so much, and he really seems to understand what he did to Kurt. And he knows he needs help to move forward.
And Kurt understands that sometimes life just really sucks.
When Dave goes home, he goes to his aunt's house for a few weeks. Sadly, his parent's marriage doesn't last. When his dad find out that his mom wants to send Dave to a camp to "cure" him, his dad puts his foot down, and Dave moves back home soon afterwards.
Kurt is just relieved that Dave didn't try to hurt himself, or worse.
A few weeks after Valentine's Day, Dave shows up at the Lima Bean on a Wednesday, and Kurt and Mercedes are there to meet him.
And he shows up most of the Wednesdays after that, too.
One afternoon Kurt and Mercedes go to Between the Sheets to shop for music for their college auditions, and Kurt meets a blond boy with big eyeglasses who loves musical theater as much as he does.
"That's an amazing outfit," the boy says. "You must get compliments all the time."
"Not really," says Kurt.
"Chandler Kiehl," says the boy, offering his hand.
"Kurt Hummel," Kurt answers with a smile as he shakes his new friend's hand.
"And I'm Mercedes Jones," says Mercedes.
"I'm very pleased to meet you both," says Chandler.
But he can't keep his eyes off of Kurt.
Mercedes, with a knowing smile, wanders off to the other end of the store, pretending to find some very interesting music that consumes her complete attention.
The two boys talk and talk about everything under the sun, and they find out they both love a lot of the same things, especially Evita and New York and Whitney Houston.
When Chandler tells Kurt goodbye, Kurt is so happy to meet him that he impulsively throws his arms around Chandler and hugs him.
"Ouch!" says Chandler.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" says Kurt. "That was my hippo broach. It's deadly."
Chandler giggles. And then he leans close and whispers. "So is that a hippo on your jacket, or are you just glad to see me?"
The joke is so bad, Kurt bursts out laughing.
"Why don't I give you my phone number," says Kurt bravely, "And you can find out later."
Soon there are flirty texts and coffee dates and long phone conversations with Chandler, along with bad jokes about how they met "in between the sheets."
Chandler is warm and silly and Kurt can't believe how much they have in common. Sometimes Chandler is loud and annoying, and sometimes he's very sweet.
Chandler has beautiful eyes, happily married parents who love him, and a house full of little brothers and sisters who drive him crazy. He has an old beat up car, a part-time job washing dishes at a restaurant, and Broadway dreams a lot like Kurt's.
A few weeks later they're dating.
Chandler is there to listen when Kurt is stinging from his rejection letter from NYADA.
When Chandler finds out he's accepted to NYU, with a generous financial aid offer, he screams so loud his mom thinks someone just died. Kurt is there to congratulate him and jump up and down with him.
The two of them celebrate with Mercedes after she opens her acceptance letter from Julliard.
Julliard.
Kurt is so jealous and so proud.
He takes Mercedes by the arm as they walk down the hallway of McKinley together the next day.
"We need to plan," said Mercedes.
"Plan what?"
"New York of course!"
"But I didn't get into NYADA."
"Are you going to let a little thing like that stop you?"
Kurt stops right in his tracks.
"No, I'm not."
"That's more like it," says Mercedes.
"I'm going to ask Chandler to the prom," he tells Mercedes over coffee at the Lima Bean.
"Good for you," says Mercedes. "It's so good to see you smiling again."
Kurt gives her a pleased little smile and blushes.
"He's really sweet," says Mercedes.
"He is sweet," says Kurt. And then he frowns.
"What is it?"
"Nothing. I just wish I could stop thinking about Blaine."
"He still has a piece of your heart," she says.
Kurt sighs. "Yeah."
Kurt still isn't over Blaine, not completely. He talks to Mercedes about it a lot. They decide that it's true what everyone says, that your first love holds a piece of you no one else can ever claim.
But that doesn't mean he's going to stay stuck in the past.
"How about you?" he asks Mercedes.
"I'll probably go alone," she says. "Sam is trying to get me to go with him, but I still feel awful about the way I cheated on Shane with him. I just don't know."
"Well you are welcome to come with me and Chandler. In your own car of course." Kurt winks.
"I'm not tagging along on your date!"
"If you don't dance with me, I am going to have words with you, Miss Jones," says Kurt, holding his nose in the air.
"Fine," she says, and they laugh.
Kurt is dropping Chandler off at his house one night when he asks him.
"Chandler?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you go to the prom with me?"
Chandler gives Kurt the sweetest smile he has ever seen. "Are you KIDDING? Of course I will."
Chandler frowns. "Only..."
"What's wrong?"
Chandler looks embarrassed. "I'm not sure I have the money for a tux. Or for my ticket."
"The tickets are my treat. I have some money saved up from working at my dad's garage."
Kurt thinks for a minute.
"And as for the tux, you could always rent one. But I have a better idea. What if we hit the thrift shops in Columbus this weekend? Maybe we'll find some funky little vintage suit for you."
Chandler's smile is back. "I have the smartest boyfriend EVER."
"And Chandler, thank you," says Kurt. "Seriously."
"Anything for you." Chandler leans in to kiss Kurt goodnight.
Kurt watches Chandler walk down his driveway with a happy bounce in his step, and he smiles.
The prom has a ridiculous dinosaur theme, but Chandler thinks it's cute and he's thrilled to be there. Kurt feels more relaxed than the previous year, and he enjoys himself a lot more. No one bullies him this time.
Blaine crosses Kurt's mind when Rachel is crowned prom queen. That moment when Blaine asked him to dance at his junior prom year would be etched in his heart forever.
But Kurt lets go of the memory and is cordial to Rachel when he is asked to crown her because he was the queen the previous year. He isn't going to ruin Chandler's only prom experience by creating drama with Rachel, no matter how much he loathes her.
He dances with Mercedes, and Brittany, and with other friends, but he saves all the slow songs for Chandler.
They're in each other's arms, slow dancing to the last song of the night, and Chandler keeps making the worst dinosaur jokes he can think of, about the "monster" in his pants and how he hopes neither of them are "dinosaur" in the morning, until Kurt is laughing so hard he can't breathe.
"You are terrible!" says Kurt.
Chandler grins at him. "Are you ready to get out of here?"
"I've been ready for hours," says Kurt.
Chandler wiggles his eyebrows.
After seeing Mercedes to her car, they head over to a little motel nearby where they've booked a room. The paintings on the walls are ugly, and the bedspread is even more hideous, but the room is clean and the bed is comfortable.
They start to slowly undress each other.
"Your hands are shaking," says Kurt.
"I'm sorry. I'm really nervous."
Despite all his dirty jokes, Chandler isn't actually ready to go all the way, and neither is Kurt. They've discussed it.
"It's okay," says Kurt softly. "Do you want to stop?"
"No," says Chandler, shaking his head emphatically.
Their hands and mouths are all over each other as each new piece of clothing comes off.
When Chandler kisses his way down Kurt's chest, his heart starts beating faster.
And when Chandler takes Kurt's cock into his mouth for the first time, Kurt feels like his heart is going to beat right out of his chest.
"I...wow. That was amazing," Kurt says afterwards.
"You are so beautiful," said Chandler, smoothing Kurt's hair out of his eyes. "I can't even believe you're real."
Later they fall asleep, curled together, warm skin on warm skin.
In the morning they go to the Lima Bean for breakfast. They can't stop smiling. Chandler waits at the counter for their food, while Kurt takes their drinks and goes to find them a table.
When he sits down, Kurt sees Sebastian and Blaine.
He inhales sharply.
They're deep in conversation and don't notice him at first. Blaine is visibly upset and Sebastian is rolling his eyes. Kurt can't hear what they're saying.
Blaine looks up and sees Kurt, and nods at him. His eyes are red and he looks terribly sad.
Blaine's face twists with anger, and he says something to Sebastian and walks out of the coffee shop.
Sebastian slithers over to Kurt's table.
"Hey, Hummel. What's up?"
"I'm here with my boyfriend," Kurt says as calmly as he can, gesturing to Chandler up at the counter.
"Seriously?" says Sebastian. "You can do better than him. You and I could have a lot of fun together."
"Are you insane, Smythe? You think I'm going to dump my boyfriend just because you're tired of Blaine?"
"Oh come on, Kurt. Live a little. You need to be more spontaneous."
Kurt freezes.
I'm just trying to be spontaneous and fun! whispers Blaine in his mind.
Kurt's jaw clenches angrily. "I wouldn't touch you if you were the last man in Ohio."
Chandler walks up with their food.
"Can we get that to go?" Kurt asks him. He's starting to shake.
"Are you okay Kurt?"
"I don't feel good," Kurt answers. He needs to get out of here. Now.
"Come on, I'll just get us a bag for these at the counter," says Chandler.
Kurt follows Chandler out without looking back at Sebastian.
He feels safer once they're outside in the Navigator.
"What happened?" asks Chandler. "Did that guy say something to you?"
"Sebastian. Yeah. He just...brought back some memories I'd rather forget."
In an echo of that November night in his driveway with Mercedes, Chandler listens, gently running his thumb over Kurt's hand that's shaking in his.
The soothing touch calms him.
Kurt tells Chandler about the night at Scandals and how Blaine acted. He tells him about Sebastian, and about what happened in the car.
"I'm so sorry," said Chandler. "My dad drinks too much sometimes, but he just gets really happy and silly. This sounds like it was a lot scarier."
"It was," says Kurt.
"Do you need to go somewhere else, honey?"
"No. My coffee's still warm. Can we just sit right here and eat?"
"Sure we can," says Chandler gently.
After Chandler is dropped off at home with a kiss, Kurt is driving back to his own house, and he thinks about Blaine.
When he loved Blaine it was like a winter thunderstorm: beautiful, frightening, and completely drawing his attention.
But Chandler is as gentle and nourishing as warm summer rain.
When he gets home he texts Mercedes.
Kurt: we just saw Sebastian and Blaine at the Lima Bean and then I drove Chandler home
Mercedes: do you want me to come over?
Kurt: Yes. I love you.
Mercedes: You too. I need to talk to you too.
Kurt: I'm all yours.
Kurt tells Mercedes everything.
Mercedes needs to talk about Sam.
"This might upset you Kurt. I'm sorry."
Sam and Mercedes had danced together at the prom, and Sam had begged her again to take him back.
And then Sam made a comment about Kurt to her.
He asked Mercedes how he could be friends with Kurt after the way he treated Blaine. It turns out Blaine and Sam were old friends from a couple years before at another school, and in Sam's eyes Blaine could do no wrong.
And that was awkward. But when Sam made a comment about Kurt being a tease, Mercedes was done.
"I told him I don't ever want to speak to him again," said Mercedes.
Kurt was stunned. "You didn't have to do that for me."
"First of all, yes I did. And secondly, I did it for me. I don't want to be with any man who would call anyone a tease. Ever. That's just wrong."
"I'm so disappointed. I thought Sam was such a nice guy," says Kurt.
"Well, there are plenty of other fish in the sea," says Mercedes. "And I am going to swim far, far away from him."
After all their hard work, it's graduation at last, with celebrations with Chandler and Mercedes and all of their families, and a big pool party at Sugar's house for everyone in Glee.
Summer has never looked so good.
Kurt works at the garage, saving money for New York. When he and Chandler aren't working, they find time to go to carnivals or go swimming or go shopping with Mercedes.
On the fourth of July, when Chandler's family is at a parade, he and Kurt go all the way for the first time in Chandler's bed.
It's sweet and tender and exciting and awkward, and perfect in its own way.
And honestly, Kurt does think about Blaine for a moment, because a piece of him still loves Blaine and he had once dreamed that Blaine would be his first.
But his thoughts about Blaine were coming further and further apart, and Kurt thought that was progress.
And he's so glad his first time is with Chandler instead.
Chandler looks completely overwhelmed afterwards. He seems like he's a million miles away.
"Hey," says Kurt gently. "Are you okay?"
Chandler shakes himself out of his mood. "Yeah. I'm good. Sorry. Just freaking out a little. It's a big thing you know?"
Kurt takes Chandler's hand and squeezes it.
"That's what she said," Kurt murmurs.
Chandler giggles and the tension is gone.
Kurt leans over to give Chandler a soft kiss and gets out of bed and gets dressed. Chandler's parents will be home soon.
That night they go to the fireworks and eat cotton candy like little kids.
Chandler leaves two days later for a job as a camp counselor at a theater camp.
He'll be gone for four weeks, and he and Kurt say goodbye with kisses and promises to text and Skype each other.
And they do, for the first week. But then they start to forget to send each other messages.
Kurt feels a little guilty that he doesn't miss Chandler as much as he thinks he should, but he's busy with work at the garage, and preparations for New York, including an apartment-hunting trip to New York with Mercedes and her mom.
They've decided to be roommates, which Mercedes thinks is wonderful and hilarious.
"If you had told little freshman me, who had that huge crush on you, that we'd be living together in a few years, I would have lost my shit."
Kurt laughs so hard his stomach hurts.
Kurt and Mercedes find a tiny but clean apartment. Kurt will take the living room, and he gives Mercedes the bedroom. They will share the closet in her room.
It's going to be crowded, but rents in NY are outrageous, and this is a reality they have to face.
A few days before Chandler comes back from camp, Kurt realizes that his feelings have changed. Maybe it's because they're going through so many big transitions right now. Maybe it's because they're both about to go to college. Or maybe what they had was just too delicate to last.
But whatever it is, he can no longer put off dealing with it.
They go for a drive to the lake the day after Chandler gets back.
"We need to talk," says Kurt.
"I know," says Chandler sadly.
"I think we've been drifting apart," says Kurt. "We didn't even contact each other for the last couple weeks."
Chandler looks so sad, but he agrees with Kurt. "I hate to say it, but I don't think we should be boyfriends anymore."
"Me either," says Kurt. "I never wanted to hurt you. You are so important to me. You don't even know."
"You're my best friend," says Chandler.
Kurt realizes that Mercedes is his, but he doesn't say that. "We HAVE to stay friends," Kurt says instead.
"Totally," Chandler agrees. "I...um...I actually liked this guy at camp."
Kurt braces himself.
"I never touched him," Chandler insists, and Kurt sees in his eyes that Chandler is being sincere. "I would never do that to you. But the fact that I could like someone else so quickly tells me we're doing the right thing by breaking up."
"Then why does it hurt so much?" says Kurt.
"Because life sucks," says Chandler, and Kurt laughs through his tears.
They go back to Kurt's empty house and sleep together for the second time, which is also their last. They hug and they cry and they promise to stay friends in New York.
They still hang out, with and without Mercedes, and the next few weeks are a blur of packing and planning.
One morning in late August, Burt drops Kurt off at the airport with tears in his eyes.
Kurt finds Mercedes hugging her mom inside.
Chandler has already moved in at NYU.
It's time to start a new life in New York.
Song: "Hard to Say Goodbye, My Love" is from the musical Dreamgirls, a show by Henry Krieger and Tom Eyen