The Truth
-A Fanfiction by Rose Shlock Helm, a teenaged girl who is American (but loves British stuff like tea and using funny words!) and is not at all affiliated with Sherlock Holmes or the incredibly sexy John Watson.
NOTE *OMG AND LOTS OF STUFF* I hate hate hate when people are totally rude and mean about my hero, Sherlock Holmes! People should stop hatin' and start appreciatin' his incredible wit and problem-solving skills instead of making a fool of him by posting embarrassing photographs. That's, like, totally cyberbullying.
Once upon a time, a gentleman named Sherlock Holmes was sitting around being awesome, like he always was. And then someone came up to his door and knocked. But before they did, Sherlock knew it was going to happen because I forgot to mention he had magical powers that made him superior to all of mankind.
"Dude, why are you here" he asked and then the dude said "I am here to kill you"
"I don't think so" he said as he kicked the evil dude out the door. And then the evil dude fell in a puddle of mud hahahahaha… And then John Watson *swoon* who is rated the sexiest man alive by Scotland Yard said "I love you darling thank you for getting rid of the bad man!" And then they lived happily ever after.
If you've made it this far, then you've seen through my ruse. Congratulations. Now, we get to the truth.
Yes, Sherlock Holmes has been spotted in a rather -shall we say- interesting photograph. But as someone who knows him rather well, I can assure you that this photograph has been doctored.
Well, by whom, do you ask? There is no other explanation. It is a group of teenagers on their blogs who think it is humorous to put people they don't even know personally into pictures that may, in fact, ruin their reputation. This is the case with Mr Holmes and his subsequently ruined reputation.
The identity of one "Army_Riot" remains unknown to everyone except Mr Holmes, and consequently Dr Watson. So be warned. There may be photographic evidence of something actually true. Maybe… involving an incident at the swimming pool? I'm only kidding. Since "Army_Riot" is a teenager (at least maturity-wise), I will leave him/her to simply end the release of such terrible images to the public.
Now, on with the story. Because everyone knows that most people skip the boring middle section anyway and want to get to the part with steamy romance.
During their happily ever after life, Sherlock and John liked to have lots of tea and jam straight out of the jar. Sherlock would play his violin and John would sit on the floor and play with his My Little Ponies. Because ponies like violin music!
One time, Sherlock and John kissed, and it was amazing(!) because John was nervous at first, as he always is, and Sherlock was fearless because he knew John would come to appreciate their love. After they kissed once, John insisted they kiss again and again and next thing you know they were -snogging- and then there was other stuff that wouldn't make this appropriate for a young girl to have written, cause I'm a young girl obviously.
But John thought it was more fun than his ponies and jam combined.
LOTS OF LOVE xoxo and…
[Please, for everyone's sake, never leave me to write another story such as this one. Certainly there had to be a better way to conceal my message, Lestrade. I'm not asking you for advice anymore. This was just painful. -SH]
a/n: More chapters will be coming via this story. Breaking the Fourth Wall was simply the introductory oneshot. Also, I'm considering making a rival Moriarty story and I can update each alternately.