Malia had always been a very straightforward kind of girl. Spending 8 years of your life as a coyote tends to have that affect on a person. You don't learn manners in the woods. You don't make friends. You survive.
Being human meant throwing all these rules out the window. Malia now had to behave a certain way, she had to eat normal foods, wear clothes, learn math. When she first transformed into a human, Malia thought that it meant things would go back to the way they were before. It was so much harder than she expected, and the guilt she felt over her mother and sister's death gnawed at her stomach, leaving her feeling queasy and anxious. Malia was unable to look at her father anymore. It only made her feel worse, and she could never tell him the truth. Then there was her stay in Eichen House; an utter nightmare and disaster. If she had thought that her stay there would make her feel better she was sadly mistaken. The only good experience she had in Eichen House was meeting Stiles Stilinski.
Meeting Stiles changed everything. He taught her how to be human again (mostly) and he brought her a sort of comfort that she had never had before. Plus, he was excellent at kissing (as well as a variety of other things), rather he realized it or not. Malia was always entirely devoted to Stiles. In some ways, over time, she had become dependent on him.
Therefore when she confronted Stiles about his feelings for Lydia Martin, she was filled with fear although she would never show it. She knew that Stiles liked her a lot. He genuinely liked her and seemed to like being her boyfriend, but she could tell that something just wasn't right. He looked at her entirely differently than he looked at Lydia. He was incredibly protective of Lydia. When he was around her, Malia could hear his heart skipping, could smell a mixture of anxiety and...something she couldn't actually place. When Stiles was with Malia, she smelled desire. She could feel a lot of other things as well, but it was mainly desire. Malia really liked Stiles. But, she wasn't sure that he felt as strongly. She was frustrated with Stiles, but she was even more frustrated with herself. She never wanted to feel dependent on anyone. Ever.
So, one autumn night, Malia decided to take control of her own life, despite her fear. No matter how much she liked Stiles, she wanted him to be happy. While she didn't think he was entirely unhappy, she knew he could be happier.
"Hey, Malia." Stiles said as Malia climbed through his window. He barely even looked up, but smiled anyway. She had been through his window too many times to count at this point. Stiles turned around in his desk chair and reached out to her, pulling her to him. He planted a gentle kiss on her lips and pushed her hair behind her ears. She looked at him, sadly.
"What's wrong?" Stiles asked, his dark brows knitting together.
"I need to talk to you. It's important." Malia stated. She sat down on his bed, facing him. "It's...us. Well, you."
"Oh no...what did I do?" Stiles' eyes widened and she could see the cogs turning as he desperately tried to figure out what he could have done to upset her. Malia shook her head and looked away. He didn't even realize it was happening. Of course he didn't. This was Stiles. He would never hurt her on purpose.
"Nothing! You didn't do anything," Malia began, "But, I've just noticed lately that some things are...off."
"Off?" Stiles looked at her, squinting and tilting his head, the way he did when he was trying to understand something particularly difficult.
"Yeah. Off. You've been...ugh. Okay, forget it. I'm going to get straight to the point. How long have you been in love with Lydia?" Malia said, flat out stating her concerns. She hated beating around the bush.
"Since the 3rd...wait, what?!" Stiles seemed shocked, confused, sad, and disappointed in himself all at once. "I...I'm not. I used to like her a lot. But, we're dating now. I like you, Malia."
"Stiles, I know you like me. But, you love Lydia. I can practically smell it on you every time you see her or talk to her."
Stiles sat there in silence staring at Malia, still wearing an expression that was difficult to read. "But...But, I don't think of her like that. I'm dating you, Malia. Lydia doesn't like me like that!"
"I wouldn't be so sure...That's not the point though. The point is: you should like me completely or not like me at all, Stiles. I like you a lot. And I want both of us to feel happy. I've spent eight years plagued by guilt and fear and sadness. You have made me so happy. But, I don't want to be dependent on you for the rest of my life. And I don't want you to...settle for me, just because you don't think you'll ever be with the girl you really love." Malia's throat started to feel tight and her eyes started to tear up. She turned her head away and blinked until they had receded.
"Malia..." Stiles had risen from his desk chair and stooped to kneel in front of Malia, cupping her face in his hands. "I like you a lot. I do. You're an incredible person. You deserve all the love in the world..."
"You can't give it to me though." Malia said, her voice cracking.
"Are you dumping me?" Stiles was frowning. He sounded hurt and it was breaking Malia's heart, but she also felt a sort of relief. Relationships were hard. Sometimes you push through, other times you call it quits. This wasn't a time to push.
"I'm letting you go, Stiles. You still love Lydia. And I'm not mad at you for it. We can't control what we feel. Trust me. I would know. We both deserve a chance to be our own people and pursue our own desires. Lydia is what you desire, Stiles. So, go for it. Sort this out. You need to see if you and Lydia could ever be a thing, or you'll never get a chance to be a thing with anyone. Does that make sense?" Malia held Stiles' hands in hers and smiled at him sadly.
"I guess..." Stiles said, trailing off, looking up at her. He still looked wounded, but she knew he'd be okay. This would sting now, but he would heal with time. They both would. He looked down and she saw a tear make its way down his cheek. He wiped it away roughly and stood up, turning away from her. Malia felt disappointed that he wasn't fighting harder for her, that he wasn't disputing what she said, but her nose didn't lie. She knew what she was feeling, even if he didn't. Malia wasn't going to sit back and be his second choice.
"I will never leave you, Stiles." Malia said, reminded of their trip to Mexico months ago. "I'll always be your friend. And you'll always be my favorite person. We both just need time to...figure things out. You and Lydia deserve a chance. And I've got a lot to learn about myself. Stuff I think I need to figure out on my own."
Stiles nodded his head slowly, still turned away from her. She moved toward the window, but before she could climb into the darkness he caught her wrist, turning her to face him. His eyes raked over her face one last time, searching, then he pulled her into a tight hug, lifting her feet off the ground.
"I'm sorry, Malia." He murmured into her shoulder. "I'm so sorry."
She squeezed him tighter in response and then let go, her arms dropping to her sides in a final sort of way. She smiled at him one last time before climbing from the window into the crisp Autumn night.