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Disclaimer:
- TZP doesn't belong to me, so you can rest safely at night!
- Piece of My Heart is a song and belongs to Janis Joplin. But the pain is mine.
- The Zee's POV was written by my dear Iglika, who always gives me enough courage to face my own feelings. Thanks, my beloved friend!
Note: English is our second language. We thank to Dragonmaster01 for her editing help.
Please, enjoy and review.
Tsuki
Piece of My Heart
Ro's point of view
Finally, you're free.
Isn't it everything that you always wanted?
Isn't it your true happiness?
I know I shouldn't be angry with your smile but I can't help to feel my heart sinking every time you do it. As if I just didn't know your smile anymore.
As if I couldn't know what you are so wrongly happy about.
Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on!
I was there with you.
Oh, tell me when I was not!
I watched you cry even when your eyes didn't know how to produce tears. I saw you fight for people who hated you. I held you tight when you thought you were just an empty machine without a soul, only worth beingalone.
But, well, you never were alone.
But… can I say the same thing? Can I say that you were with me all the time?
Yeah, you were there, sometimes.
When you didn't have this fake smile on your fake lips.
They never looked so fake before.
Didn't I make you feel like you were the only man yeah!
An' didn't I give you nearly everything that a woman possibly can ?
Honey, you know I did!
And each time I tell myself that I, well I think I've had enough,
But I'm gonna show you, baby, that a woman can be tough.
Hey, c'mon, you're free right? You have a clean name. Actually, you finally have a name! Mr. Zee Selig. You have a job, a great job as searcher in an international corporation. You work with Dr. Selig in human prototypes development. Isn't that great?
Doesn't it make you happy?
So why the hell do you need to make me remember about us!
"I know I'm being selfish, Ro. But… I can't be without you."
And here I am, again.
Looking at this same garden, waiting for you to finish your work and have coffee with me. I remember that you liked the smell of hot coffee on cold days like these.
Will you talk about your new discovery?
Will you talk about your new friends?
Will you talk about your new her?
Because you know it kills me.. But I will hear. As I always do.
I want you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it, take it!
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby! Oh, oh, break it!
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, oh, have a!
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby,
You know you got it if it makes you feel good,
Oh, yes indeed.
Sometimes I catch my mind planning ways to hurt you. A lot of ways to make you feel smitten, little, lost.
Isn't it ironic?
Because I know you're already lost.
And I know I'm just here to try helping you to find way home.
Why can't she do it for you! Isn't she equal as you? Aren't all of them? They're your friends, for God's sake! She is your perfect thin woman! They're your world!
So why do you need me so much?
Because I'm different?
Because you know I won't lie to make you feel good? I couldn't lie. I never could, did I? Could I ever hide my heart from you?
Isn't it sad, Zee?
How you can see my heart so broken and don't make a thing?
Look, the flowers are blooming sooner this year. I don't think it's something very big. I don't think about many things anymore. I already told you everything. You never answered what you really felt. And now I can't help but just to feel me so empty.
Will you fulfill me?
I don't think so.
You're too busy trying to produce a new kind of happiness.
You're out on the streets looking good,
And baby deep down in your heart I guess you know that it ain't right,
Never, never, never, never, never, never hear me when I cry at night,
Babe, and I cry all the time!
But each time I tell myself that I, well I can't stand the pain,
But when you hold me in your arms, I'll sing it once again.
I can see the sky turning darker. It's getting late, I know that.
It's always late.
Did I do something wrong?
Did I wait for you too much?
Did I have fear about this love for too long?
I know it's late. Does it matter if I'm still at the same place? Because I'm trying to get out of here but my legs doesn't seem inclined to cooperate with my mind.
You really believe that I have all the answers.
You always believed it.
Well, I have one question still unanswered for you.
But as always, we both know that I will never make it aloud.
"Miss Rosalie Rowen? I'm sorry; Mr. Zee asked to inform you…"
Yeah, I know.
The same protocol. The same excuses. The same simple minded.
Is it so easy to say "I'm sorry" to me? Because you do it all the time. You do all the things already apologizing to me. Is it so common?
Oh, yeah, I forgot.
I know everything. I'm strong enough to comprehend everything. I'm the mature one who never feels sick for stupid things.
You can't just imagine a little thing that can hurt me, can you? How could you? If you're never close enough to see my heart breaking when you just say "I'm sorry"?
I'm sorry, Zee.
But I don't know all the things.
I'll say come on, come on, come on, come on and take it! Take it!
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby. Oh, oh, break it!
Break another little bit of my heart now, darling, yeah! Oh, oh, have a!
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby,
You know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good.
I have a long road ahead.
And I can't think anything but taking a coffee.
By my own.
I need you to come on, come on, come on, come on and take it, take it!
Take another little piece of my heart now, baby! Oh, oh, break it!
Break another little bit of my heart, now darling, yeah, c'mon now.
Have another little piece of my heart now, baby.
You know you got it
Zee's point of view
Let her…
Let her think I don't need her anymore; let her think I'm happy; let her think I can live without her; let her think I have some other girl in my life, let her…
Let her…
I stood to window frame looking at the café on the other side of the street.
There she was.
She came.
She sat.
She was waiting for me…
Let her…
I felt how something slowly, but insistently began to squeeze my throat… it was warm, but somehow… that warmth was dangerous as if I would stop breathing any moment… then I felt how my sight began to blur… and my eyes… my eyes became full of liquid, which literally burned not only my eyes, but my throat, my heart…
Then… a tear rolled down my face… and then another one…
I cried.
I cried for the first time in my life…
I thought it would be easy to experience some torment crying with real tears.
But it was worst.
It was painful.
It hurt.
Much.
Yes, I was already able to cry.
I was already able to feel. I was able to breath, I had heart beating…
I had already an almost real human body.
And still – I had a synthoid's brain.
I was still a synthoid.
An upgraded, semi-organic self-restoring synthoid, who worked with his creator, Dr. Selig, for the future behalf of humanity…
Ro was still there.
Sitting on the table.
Waiting for me.
I was the one who called her; I really wanted to see her; I craved to see her; to be with her; to talk to her as it was then… as ever…
I needed her. Despite my new, truly alive body I was dead without
her.
But…
I couldn't make even a step.
I kept staying to the window frame, looking at her…
Let her…
Let her think I don't need her anymore; let her think I'm happy; let her think I can live without her; let her think I have some other girl in my life, let her…
Let her…
She didn't have to know…
She didn't have to know what Casey told me so long time ago… she didn't have to know it was the same her parents told me, insisting for a meeting with me.
She didn't have to know their statement about my relationship with her.
They were categorical, there was no alternative.
I had no right to be with her. I had no right to love her. I had no right to allow her to love me.
Semi-organic or not, I was a synthoid and my love toward Ro was wrong, her love towards me was wrong…
Was it?
How could I explain to them the depth of my love toward Ro, how could I explain to them my feelings? I wasn't just a thing created for experiments. But how to explain them as even my own creator, Dr. Selig, accepting me as his son, indeed, treated me at the same time as just an incredible machine, which breaking a trail for a new age in saving human life through all those new technologies…
I didn't mind to work with all of my strength for this goal, but why no one believed me I had another dream. The simple dream for home and family; the simple dream of making the woman I loved happy...
Why no one allowed me to live like a human when I already looked so much like a living human...
Why I was doomed to remain just an incredible machine, when my deep wish was to be a human…
Ro still waited for me…
I took my cell-phone and I dialed the number of the café.
"Name Zee Selig. Please inform Miss Rosalie Rowen… urgent circumstances preventing me for coming..."
She was there…
She was so close…
I knew she loved blooming flowers, they were blooming sooner this year…
It wasn't something very big, but it was something she liked. I knew her so well, I knew her as nobody else…
I never answered what I really felt toward her.
Did she know why…?
Just a few steps toward the elevator…
Just a few steps toward her table…
And I could be there…
I could reach my hand…
I could touch her shoulder…
And she could turn towards me…
A waitress approached Ro.
"Miss Rosalie Rowen? I'm sorry; Mr. Zee asked to inform you…"
She nodded.
And she ordered a coffee…
It was so easy to meet her…
It was so easy to be with her…
Just a few steps between us…
Did she know why I didn't come? Was she strong enough to comprehend everything, indeed? Was she the mature one who never feels sick for stupid things?
No, she wasn't…
I knew her so well…
But she didn't know all the things; she didn't know the real reason of my shy behavior all those years, she didn't know the real reason of my absence now…
She was hurt now, she was so hurt…
And I was the one who had hurt her…
Please, Ro…
Please try to understand…
I don't have to love you…
I have no right…
I just have to leave you…
Ro, please, forgive me, I just have to…
I have no right to be with you…
I have no right to love you…
She didn't finish her coffee.
Slowly she stood up and…
She made her way to the exit…
"Ro!" I yelled, as so many times back then, when I protected her…
And I ran…
I ran toward the elevator…
I ran on the street…
I almost pushed the people around me running after her…
She was there, in the distance, she walked to the bus station…
"Ro!" I yelled…
She turned around, she stopped…
Her eyes were wide open…
But she realized… I knew she realized everything in the last steps of my running toward her…
I hugged her.
And she hugged me back with all of her strength as always when we were separate back then…
No, it wasn't completely the same now, as it was back then.
I kissed her.
And she kissed me back.
We kissed…
And this time I wouldn't allow to anyone to separate us again…
The end