"What do you mean I can't go? This isn't fair Jace!" I stood with my hands on my hips, in full gear ready to perform my duties as a shadow hunter. But Jace would have none of it. You would think after all this time together he would have known telling me I couldn't do something would only spur me on that much more to actually do it.
"Clary, you need to stay back. Be here at the institute in case you are needed. I can't, I can't have anything happen to you. " His face was stoic, he wasn't going to bend on it this time. I could tell. He was a heartbeat away from carrying me up to our room and locking me in. Only he knew I could get out, I had proven that all I needed was a stele and I could take on a whole demon horde.
"I'm a trained shadow hunter Jace, I can protect myself." I was agitated, he knew this, he had trained me. He was the best shadow hunter ever, and he had trained me.
"No! It is my job to protect you. And this time, you will do as I ask and stay back. Please." His eyes, were what did it. His eyes were pleading. My heart was breaking. I needed to be by his side, he would never understand this.
"But I can't protect you from here, at least if I am there, I can have your back. We have fought together before, you know that. I can do this. " He infuriated me, and I knew anger made him fight better as well. So if he wasn't going to let me go with him, I was going to get him riled up so that he would fight more fiercely.
"Clary, I don't need you to have my back. Alec will guard my back. I need you to stay here, and guard my heart. " He placed his hand on the rune that symbolized that we were joined, much like mundane wedding rings symbolized a union so did the runes we now wore. One at our wrist and one at our heart, each placed there by the other. He took his other hand and placed it over mine and brought it to his rune. "Please Clarissa. I have fought too hard, I can't lose you."
"Okay. Okay, I'll stay. I'll guard your heart, you just come back to us. Do you understand me Jace Lightwood-Herondale. You come back. " The emotion in my voice was too much. I needed him to understand that I couldn't lose him either. I had battled both my father and my brother to save him, I would go to the depths of hell for him. In fact I am pretty sure I had come close a couple of times.
With that he kissed me and ran to where Alec was waiting at the portal. I watched them go, and just as he was about to step through it registered. And he turned and looked at me, and I stood there unconsciously placing the hand that had been on his heart to my stomach. I hadn't had the nerve to tell him. Simon was the only other person who knew. This was not how I wanted him to find out, going off to battle my brother. But he looked t me, his eyes locking with mine for that moment, and it was like it had been when we first saw each other. It was a life time ago, we had been through so much, and now more awaited us.
"I will come back to you, Clary. I love you." And with that he followed Alec through the portal to Idris.
It had been days, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat. I spent my time studying the ancient runes, and drawing the ones that came to me. I had gotten better at my ability, but I was still working at it after all this time. What probably made things worse for me was that everyone had gone to the war in Idris; Jace, Alec, Isabelle, Magnus, Maryse, Robert, Luke and my mom. Members of Luke's pack had remained back, they kept watch on the Institute from the outside, prepared to be at my side in an instant. Simon would come and sit on the roof top with me. I felt like I had lost track of time, no battle had lasted this long. The battle on Valentine's ship had lasted a day, the last battle in Idris had barely lasted ten minutes because of the Angel Raziel had acted on his vengeance for what Valentine had done in the name of the Shadow hunters he had created. No word came, and I pondered going through the portal to Idris myself. I had done it before. Simon talked me into waiting.
"Do you know the shit storm that would be waiting for me," Simon said "When Jace got back and got his hands on me for allowing you to go there. I don't bare the mark of Cain anymore Clary." He shifted his hair to remind me that the mark I had given him during the battle at Idris was gone, taken by Raziel when he gave Simon the Angel Michael's sword to help us sever the bond between Jace and Sebastian.
"Simon I can't just sit around here like this. I'm going out of my mind with worry for all of them. What if Sebastian had done something?" I said to him panic filling my voice.
Simon looked at me, "Don't you think you would know Clary? Don't you think you would feel it? Remember how you could feel that Jace wasn't himself? You knew, you knew before anyone else. You sensed it. You had a connection with him from the beginning. Clary, you have to believe in that. You have to trust that connection. Because it isn't just about you anymore. "
I hugged him, knowing he was right. A little while later he made his way off into the darkness, and I knew deep down he was waiting for Isabelle to return. If he could have stayed at the Institute I would have made him, but the vampires couldn't physically enter, hence our meeting on the roof. I thought about my promise to him, how I would not do anything that would cause a back lash for him. Jace and Simon had worked hard to build a trust with each other.
That night I dreamt about Jace. It was fragmented flashes of my time with Jace.
Two boys were standing in a corner across a crowded club and the taller one looked toward me and in that moment I saw not just his face but his eyes. Something shifted, the world seemed to go sideways. His eyes opened wider, he pushed his hood back and off his head like it was going to make a difference in what he saw. He started to step in my direction and then the shorter, dark haired grabbed his arm and pulled him away.
The first drawing I had done of him. It had come to me in a dream, a bronze haired angel, fierce looking, with the angelic symbol of the shadow hunter on his chest. It had hung on my bedroom wall at one point.
Sitting at Java Joe's with Simon, discussing my concern over losing my mind. I turned and looked out the window next to us, and then there standing outside looking in at me was the bronze haired boy that had been called Jace. Simon turned to look, and when I blinked and looked again he was gone. Simon was trying to get my attention and I looked out the window again. Nothing, but when I looked back at the coffee bar in front of us, there he was looking down at me. He was taller than I remembered, his bronze hair curling behind his ears, his eyes flashed like pools of amber. There was something in them that made me both afraid and lost. He held that fierce look, that I had sketched but instead of angel wings he stood before me dressed much like last night in head to toe black. The hood of his leather jacket was pulled up, and his dark gray v neck t-shirt showed off tattoos that he had at his collar bone. His expression seemed smug, like he had just caught me doing something he knew I shouldn't be. He almost seemed pleased with himself.
"Why can I see you and no one else can?" I asked him. His voice when he spoke was the same as in my dream, I hadn't heard it last night but I wasn't surprised. "I was going to ask you the same thing." The realization of last night crashed into me, "I don't know why I am even talking to you, you're a killer, a cold blooded killer." He snickered, "As opposed to what, a peace loving killer." He was pacing in front of me, like a caged animal before they pounce on their unsuspecting prey. "I know what I saw!" I yelled at him. He stopped pacing and pointed at me as if in anger. "You think, you know what you saw. You have no idea." in that moment I saw a tattoo on his left forearm, it was the same symbol I had seen on the sign of the club, and the same that I had drawn so many times. I grabbed his arm, an electrical current seemed to jar me.
Jace wheeled his blade and all that remained was a pile of ash. He wiped the blade and looked down at me, almost as if he was annoyed that he had gotten something on himself and it was all my fault. In the next moment he was at my side. Trying to help me up, concerned that I was hurt.
"Demons can take possession of any living thing. You can't trust anyone. Even people you think you know." I tried to compose myself as I walked away from the carnage that was my home, and said to Jace "Why should I trust you?" The tone of his voice when he responded sounded flustered, almost annoyed that I would even be asking. "I did just save your life."
My birthday, when he presented me with my witch light and then kissed me. It was the kiss that sealed things, it wouldn't matter what happened from that moment on, my heart belonged to Jace.
Jace standing before me looking like all he wanted to do was touch me, "Do you remember when I said I'd never seen an angel? Well I lied. You have an incredible gift. We need you, I need you." He walked away making to leave. "You are still the bravest mundane I have ever met Clarissa Fray."
Jace sitting on his motorcycle that Magnus had given him, "Well you took your time didn't you?" I couldn't see his face but I could hear the smirk in his voice.
And then there was a small figure, with a golden glow surrounding it. Jace's amber eyes, bronze hair with streaks of red that fierce look. The child was holding Jace's hand, they were standing together on the shore of Lake Lyn. Jace was pointing out across the lake and then at the spot on the bank where he had lay dying. The child drew in the sand, and the sky burst into a bright flash of light and Clary woke with a start.
She was sweating and breathing heavy, pulling the bedding back she swung her feet to climb out of bed. There was a tenderness in her side, she rested her hand against the spot and could have sworn she felt a movement, a response to her touch. But it couldn't be, she wasn't far enough along for the baby to be moving with enough force for her to feel it. The sudden sensation of bile rising made her run to the bathroom. Why do they call it morning sickness when it comes at any random time of day? In her head she was glad Jace hadn't been here to see her so weak. It was embarrassing to be this vulnerable, but at the same time, she wished that he had been. He had a way of soothing her, of making her feel like nothing could harm her, even in the middle of fighting demons. When she was sure that she was done feeling sick she stood and cleaned herself up. She peeled off the night gown she has on and fished around one of Jace's drawers she needed something of his to comfort her. As she pulled the shirt on she caught a glimpse of her side. She stopped and stepped closer to the mirror. Her eyes had to be playing tricks on her. In the spot that had been tender there was a rune. It was unlike any she had seen before, but that wasn't quite right, she had seen it. In her dream, the child with Jace had drawn it in the sand by Lake Lyn.
"Oh shit!" Clary knew this wasn't necessarily good. Lilith had gotten into Jace's head and Sebastian had controlled him using a rune that no one had paid attention to until it was too late. Clary knew she had only one choice. The Silent Brothers, she would have to contact them immediately. " Oh Simon, I think there is going to be a shit storm no matter what we do." Clary said as she examined the rune in the mirror.
As she sat waiting in the library for the fire message she had sent to give her a response Clary drew the rune in her note book. It would be so much easier to show them the drawing than having to expose herself to the Silent Brothers, though she knew it wouldn't matter. They would insist on examining her mind for the memories of it to see what she had seen. Brother Zachariah stood looming over her.
"Clarissa Herondale you have called upon us. Are you ready?" His voice filled Clary's head and he leads her to the Silent City where the Silent Brothers will hopefully be able to help her understand what is happening. More than ever she wishes that someone else were here with her. She hasn't been this scared since her mom disappeared and she thought she was on her own. Once in the Silent City Brother Zachariah directs Clary to stand under the Mortal Sword, the brothers proceed as they have done before in entering Clary's mind. She sees the memories as they do, as an outsider watching but not a part of what is happening. She knows that nothing is private here. They see it all, the attempts at being careful as they determine the extent of the Heavenly Fire that Jace was left with after she struck him with The Angel Michael's sword to sever the bond between him and Sebastian. Their training together, the moment when Jace asked her to bare the mark of the shadow hunter union, the celebration with their families and friends, the moment when she and Jace are together consummating their union, the moment she saw the positive test, her telling Simon, the departure of Jace and the others, her loneliness since they had all gone, and then the dream, the rune, her waking, and her fear of what it all meant.
"Clarissa Herondale, we have no sure answer for you. But it would seem that the mixture of your blood and that of Jonathan Herondale, especially while he still contains the Heavenly Fire, has created a unique form of shadow hunter. We will have to meet with the Iron Sisters to make a determination as to what this may mean. The rune you have shown us, is not in the Gray Book. We will perform a blessing tomorrow with members of the Iron Sisters to ensure that no harm has befooled you and your unborn child. To ensure your safety you will remain within the Silent City until then. A message has been sent to Magnus Bane for his aide as well."
Clary felt the sudden rush of panic. "Wait, if Magnus comes back will the others as well? If they are still fighting I want them to remain focused. Is there a way to ensure that Magnus doesn't say anything to them? I need them all to come home safely not be hurt because of some rune that suddenly appeared." Clary received only silence as a response. She followed Brother Zachariah to one of the rooms that was at a lower level in the City. Exhaustion settled upon her. She sent a text to Simon, so he wouldn't worry if he didn't hear from her until late tomorrow. And then she closed her eyes and let the darkness fall upon her.
Clary had been cold when she first settled her head on the mattress. Those that stayed at in the Silent City were usually not here for the comforts, which there were none of. As the night wore on, the darkness was replaced with a soft glow and the coldness of the room with a warmth. Clary attributed it to her mind wanting those things and she welcomed the glow and warmth, they filled her and made her think of Jace and how he made her feel, loved, and safe. The feeling wrapped around her. Sleep came easier, and she allowed herself to enjoy the dreams of the small child and Jace together. She was not prepared for the sound of the voice that woke her.
"Oh Clary. This is quite the look for you." She heard the teasing tone and knew it without opening her eyes.
"What me in a holding cell in the Silent City. Yeah it is usually Jace in these situations isn't it?" She remarked not wanting to open her eyes yet. She was still comfortable.
"Oh no I meant the glowing look." Magnus remarked and she opened an eye to look at him.
"Did they tell you? I'm not far enough along, and I always thought glowing was just a myth with pregnant women. I've known some and they never actually looked like they were glowing." Clary spoke as she began to sit up.
"Well my dear Clarissa, you are quite literally glowing. Man when you and Jace create a little angel, you actually create one, huh?" With his smirk obvious she looked down. The warm that she had felt was clearly coming from her abdomen, as was the soft golden glow the was fading.