Russian Roulette

Prologue

Have you ever lost something so important to you, you never thought you'd never be able to get it back? Where you believed it might have been broken beyond repair? There was a time when that happened to me. It really was a living hell for me those few days when something horrible happened to my brother. But the weeks after, I actually don't know if those were worse. Seeing him act in such a way, being so… scared of anyone and everyone besides me… It was just so painful seeing that. I could hardly do anything for him, except hold him tightly on those nights when he did manage sleep. Unfortunately, those nights entailed these horrible memories to come back to him; without knowing, he would try to push me away, almost screaming in his sleep. Those were the only times when I would fight him.

He really needed me. He needed me more than I realized then. Who else could he run to? We both never could find the actual comfort we needed as kids from our parents. We love them, and we know they love us. But there just wasn't the same comfort we found in them that we found in each other. It's a familiar warmth that we crave from each other. With the new turn of events, he needed, and craved that comfort from me more than he ever would.

It all came down to the small promise I made to myself. Everything was for him. I was always going to be there for him. I couldn't leave Hikaru alone anymore.

Not until we were both ready to let go and forget. It would be a long time, though, before even I was ready for that.

Author's Notes:

So, what am I doing not working on 50 Ways to Express Love? I'll tell ya: being lazy. And the fact I'm having a hard time trying to finish that chapter! D: No matter what I do, I don't like how I end it!! Don't worry... I'll get it sooner or later... Until then, you get this!!

I've been working on this little baby for MONTHS. I finally got the courage to work on it again. And I'm still a little scared to work on some of the other chapters...

*is in need of a hug*

Anyway, I'll post the first chapter by the end of the month (it's already half way done), and then after that, I plan on having it updated about monthly. Why that long? Because I'll have a hard time writing it, that's why!! D: I rewrote the first chapter about four times already!!

Are you happy now, Cai!?? D: I FINALLY POSTED IT. FOR YOU. :P