TDTM
Sherlock tries to sext John. Sequel to 'WORDLOCKED'.
…
Is that a protractor in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? SH
Oh my god, what are you doing? J
Sexting. SH
Isn't that something couples normally do? SH
Yeah, I guess… Since when are we a couple? (Aside from a couple of weirdos, ha!) J
We've gone on three 'dates'. I was under the impression we were an 'item'. SH
One of those 'dates' was a crime scene. J
We went to dinner afterward. SH
A dinner which was interrupted by an attempted poisoning. J
Yes. I suppose that really ruined the romance. SH
According to the strict social code, isn't it time we advanced forward in our relationship? SH
Yes, but with actual physical intimacy, Sherlock. J
Can't we just start here. SH
… I suppose, yes. J
You're supposed to make it sexy. J
Imagine I'm wearing frilly panties. SH
No. J
Speedo? SH
Better. Keep going? J
Leather speedo? SH
Why not. Proceed as planned. J
I'm also holding a riding crop. SH
But not the one I beat corpses with. SH
The only thing this crop is ever going to touch is your sweet round ass. SH
God help me. J
Now imagine we're in a bedroom. SH
Where are we in the bedroom? J
On the bed, of course. 'Bedroom' is a euphemism for a sexy place. SH
I was really hoping you were going to fuck me on the dresser. J
Don't be silly, John. That might damage the wood. SH
What wood? (Ha!) J
I'll stop making jokes now. J
Good. This is obviously very serious. SH
Now, you're naked. SH
Aren't you going to strip my clothes off slowly and sexily? J
That takes too long. SH
Oh, sorry, are we on a schedule? A sex schedule? Have we got a two o'clock bareback on the lilo? J
Intimacy is a slow burning fire, Sherlock. J
Boring. SH
If you think intimacy is boring, this isn't going to work. J
Can I go on ahead now? SH
Good choice of words. J
Yes. J
Slowly, teasing you, I take off my leather speedo. SH
Are you aroused yet? SH
If you could be more descriptive about your censored that would help. J
It's… long. SH
Send me a picture. J
No. SH
Why? J
What if somebody sees? SH
I'll pretend it's for a case, come on. J
Okay. SH
Image.
Wow. J
I'm impressed. J
And that means a lot, coming from me. J
Yes, I'm sure your sexual experience coupled with your medical profession has exposed you to a wide variety of censored. SH
Did you just call me a slut? J
Maybe. Did you like it? SH
Yeah. I did, actually. Talk science to me again. J
Baby, you're so hot you're obviously running a dangerous and potentially life-threatening fever. Especially for an infant. SH
I. Am. So. Turned. On. Right. Now. J
MORE. J
I should check you into a hospital. SH
All the doctors are sexy. SH
So are you. SH
;) SH
OH, DO IT AGAIN. J
I'm gonna take your temperature over and over again all night long. SH
Then check you into intensive care. SH
'Cause I'm going to intensively care for you. SH
All. SH
Night. SH
Long. SH
YES. J
Now let me take your temperature, sexy doctor man. SH
Oh, you're hot, hot, hot. SH
Somebody needs to cool you down. SH
Somebody who's cool. SH
Good think I'm Dr. Cool. SH
This is perfect. J
Come home right now, Dr. Sexy. I need a checkup. J
(Actually, I'm Dr. Cool. You're Dr. Sexy. SH)
I'm coming. SH
...
No idea what I was thinking when I wrote this, but damn is it beautiful.
TSTM is an acronym for talk science to me.
Hope you enjoyed!