Sitting on a little chair, with a truck right behind him, Shikamaru was calmly playing a guitar…
"Hey look, buddy… I'm Shikamaru the Engineer" Shikamaru said as he continued playing his guitar. "That means I solve problems" he added
Then suddenly a shuriken landed on the truck close to Shikamaru's shoulder, but he was unfazed and just kept calmly playing…
"Not problems like "What is beauty?", because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy" Shikamaru said before another shuriken and a kunai landed dangerously close to his head, miraculously missing him though he didn't give a fuck about it. "I solve practical problems" Shikamaru declared as he briefly stopped playing…
At that moment Shikamaru put his hand into the box beside him and grabbed a bottle from which he started to drink while some gun shots were heard beside him and a voice screamed in pain. As Shikamaru put the bottle back on the box, a little counter shifted from 209 to 210, evidently the number of victims killed. Shikamaru then continued playing the guitar…
"For instance: How am I gonna stop some big mean motherfucker from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind?" Shikamaru said…
Then the sentry turret beside him beeped, aimed automatically at Tobi who was sniping on Shikamaru from an angle with his rifle, and then the machine fired a few kunai at Tobi, killing him…
"The answer…" Shikamaru said as another sentry turret with two machine guns aimed automatically at another enemy and killed him with a barrage of shuriken. "…use a gun… and if that don't work…" Shikamaru added before another sentry gun, this time with a rocket launcher, fired at another enemy. At this moment it was revealed that Shikamaru was already surrounded by many sentry guns firing at his enemies for him "…use more gun" Shikamaru concluded…
Shikamaru stopped playing the guitar briefly to watch the kunai with explosive tag fired by the rocket launcher make an enemy ninja blow up into pieces, and smiled…
"My arm!" Hidan screamed in pain, and then his severed hand landed beside Shikamaru and the gun automatically pointed at it. Shikamaru just didn't give a fuck and kept playing the guitar…
"Like this heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little old number designed by me…" Shikamaru said before kicking the severed hand away, just in time for the turret to follow it and shoot at it "…built by me" Shikamaru added before the same gun automatically pointed at another enemy and killed him. "And you'd best hope…" Shikamaru said before stopping playing the guitar and looking seriously at the camera "…not pointed at you"
And so Shikamaru kept on playing his guitar nonchalantly in the middle of the battlefield while his turrets killed all of the Akatsuki ninjas coming his way trying to kill him, Kisame and Zetsu already dead in front of him while Pain and Kakuzu attempted to attack him only to suffer the same fate…