A/N: Hayley as step mom to Josh and Davina. The title is inspired from the movie "The Holiday" with Jude Law and Cameron Diaz and the tent scene. That's all the clues I'm giving.

1.

The Three Musketeers

"Oh god, we are totally dead!" Davina hissed to Josh when Klaus' painting toppled from its hook on the wall, now covered in copious amounts of vomit and spaghetti. "This was not my idea. Have a party for my sweet sixteenth? Sure, I'll have a rager whilst Klaus and Marcel are away. You got me into this, you are getting us out of this!" Davina's finger poked Josh in the chest, hard.

Josh grabbed her flailing arms to calm her down. "So this party may have gotten a little out of hand! So what, we'll clean it up before they get back."

Davina didn't know how he could be so calm.

"There's a bloody tiger in the fountain outside?! And a beanstalk in Klaus' bedroom! I don't think you realise to what grounds the King of New Orleans will go. We'll both end up in the garden!" She yelled, hysterically.

Josh knew this could be a definite possibility. Klaus scared him out of his wits but he would not find out. They would get everything back to normal, he promised. They just needed someone who knew him, someone who Klaus was afraid of.

"Before you wake up the whole of city, I was going to say, Hayley will know what to do."

Davina stared at him like he had grown an extra ear.

"Hayley is eight months pregnant. Do you really think she will come and help us out?"

"Yeah, she did say we would protect each other. Besides, Klaus would never hurt her."

"You're right, but he'd hurt us!" Davina threw a strand of tomatoey spaghetti at him, it had stained the painting leaving the thick brushstrokes with stray pieces of meatball.

Josh ducked. "Look, I'll just call her, explain everything and-" he pulled out his phone.

"-And how is she going to get from the house in the bayou to here? Fly?" Davina raised her eyebrow.

It was Josh's turn to look at her incredulously. "Ah, hello, she's a werewolf! And you call yourself a witch." He shook his head, listening to the rings. Feeling ill when he realised there was a possibility for Klaus to return home early.

"Hello?" came Hayley's weary reply.

"Hayley? It's uh Josh, we need your help." He raised his eyebrows in a promising way to let Davina know things were good. She had given up on cleaning the painting and was now struggling with it down the hall, taking long strides and cursing loudly.

"Why doesn't Davina clean up the mess? That's a good question, why don't you cast a spell?" He said, his voice cracking slightly, as if there was more to the story.

Davina shouted her answer from the doorway where she had now jammed the painting. "Because Josh, a giant ogre stole my magic, maybe if you didn't insist on the beanstalk I would have my powers!" she continued to shove the damaged painting forwards, and Josh muttered into the phone,

"You know what? Let's not go there," he sighed.

Hayley was suddenly wide awake when the tiger's roar echoed through the bayou and set the wolves off. There was another shouting match between Josh and Davina which had her out of bed-rest, so Elijah had been calling it, and on her feet.

"Oh, we'll go there, this is not my fault remember!" shouted Davina.

"No, but you were the one who wanted to play Spin the Bottle, just because Tim was there."

"Tim, thanks to you, is now lost in the clouds because you told those village people he was Jack!"

"Well, you were the one who insisted magical beans were better than jellybeans!"

Hayley shouted down the phone, her hackles up as she tried to control her anger and her hormones. Elijah had gone shopping and really, she did not have time to wait for him to unpack the groceries or tell her how she should not be on her feet. Klaus and Marcel were making alliances (or enemies) of the neighbouring cities: business as usual. She was to call if anything went wrong. This, she presumed, would not be on the list to discuss with him.

The sound of a vase breaking against the fireplace alerted her from her and she had to yell to get Josh's attention. Another roar, followed by howling wolves shook the cottage.

"Josh! I'll be there as soon as I can, just sit tight and please tell me that was not a tiger?"

His reply was drawn out, slowly giving her the facts until she realised their urgency: Klaus could not find out.

"Oh, yeah, thaaat, its name is Benedict, you know after that guy who plays Sherlock Holmes-uh, not my idea, Davina's, I- I think it was the bourbon, or the malibu, possibly the vodka...but we put raspberries in it, mostly liqueur..."

There was a long sigh on the other end of the phone. "You guys owe me. When this baby is born, you'll be designated nappy-cleaners and babysitters, just you wait."

"Hurry!" Josh said, seeing Davina kicking the painting so hard that her foot went through the canvas.

Hayley arrived to the Mikaelson Manor within half an hour, she parked outside the fountain, squinting out into the fog for the tiger. "I can't see the bloody thing anywhere?" Hayley said to herself. She could, however see Josh waving at her from the lounge room, and a dozen red cups on top of Klaus' prized grand piano. Unnerved by the tiger's disappearance, Hayley cautiously left the car, locking it, just in case and walked up to the front steps.

"Where's Benedict?" she asked, as Josh let her in.

"Must have gone walkabout," Josh shrugged.

"So, what did you want to show me first?" Hayley said, turning into the lounge room and taking in the trashed decor with empty alcohol bottles, plastic cups, vomit and missing artefacts. "Where's the painting?" She asked, as Josh pointed further down the hall where Davina was still struggling with the painting, this time she was about to set it alight with a crème Broulee burner.

Hayley caught her before that happened and turned her to face her. "I hate that painting too, but not enough to lose my mind over it. How about we get you some coffee or tea, and you can tell me exactly what happened, in detail, because if we are going to put things right, we are going to need all the help we can get."

Josh and Davina took turns explaining how the night had begun, how things had progressed from normal, well, as normal as a sixteen year old witch's birthday could be, to bizarre in a few hours. Hayley brought out three coffees on a tray, one for each of them.

"Oh, just warning you, somebody mixed cloves and paprika into the coffee, so don't-"

Josh had just taken a rather large gulp from his mug and froze, his nostrils flared, and Hayley was reminded of those bulls that run at Pamplona in the famous Fiesta de San Fermin. Elijah often watched the news on the 1975 vintage television set they had found buried beneath some firewood when she and Elijah first cleaned out the cottage.

"Are you ok?" Hayley asked, sitting down and blowing the steam away from her mug, casually.

"Fine, ahh!-fine," Josh said, his entire face sweating and turning a shade of red. "Barely felt it," he spluttered, holding his chest and glancing towards Davina. Hayley looked up to see she hadn't touched her coffee. She was too busy pacing up and down, up and down.

"Davina, why don't you start by telling me how Tim, he's your boyfriend, right? Disappeared?"

"He climbed the beanstalk and didn't come back!" Davina was very agitated, she kept looking up the stairs leading to the second floor.

"Beanstalk?" Hayley asked in a serious voice.

She thought she heard distant voices and movement upstairs. Were there still kids up there?

"This." Josh showed the last remaining bean he had kept for safe keeping.

"What is that?" Hayley said, staring at the plump, spotted green thing with dislike.

"A magical bean!" Josh said as though it was an everyday occurrence.

"And what, Klaus had these lying around?" Hayley asked, suspiciously.

"Well, not exactly lying around, we had to sort of dig for it..." Josh mumbled.

"I'm guessing it wasn't in his sock drawer," Hayley muttered, shaking her head. "Ok, then what?"

Josh had recovered, and was loitering by the door. "It's just easier if we show you," he said.

Coming into Klaus bedroom was now a regular thing for Hayley, and not for the reasons you would think. Somehow over the course of time, Hayley had been delegated the "house-wife" position and as far as she was concerned this was a shitty job, mainly because the only other person who knew this was Rebekah, and sometimes they would meet in Klaus' bedroom and talk about how Klaus was completely oblivious to anyone's feelings albeit his own, and that if they just went on "strike" and left him to do his own ironing and washing, he mightn't take them for granted.

Hayley's love life had been practically non-existent since Klaus had knocked her up, and claimed ownership of her. None of the vampires were keen enough to get close without Klaus or Elijah hearing wind of their interest and punishing them if caught, and Marcel had enough problems when it came to "controlling" so Klaus called it, the teenagers. Hence, how Hayley was delegated another task: to make sure Davina and Josh didn't get bored. She had forgotten that she had given Josh her number in case of an emergency.

The beanstalk growing out of Klaus' king size bed and through the ceiling into affinity seemed to be as good excuse as any, as were the crowd of onlookers all from the 1600s.

"Don't look them in the eye, they're desperate for money and attention," Josh warned.

"Don't tell me they came from-" Hayley pointed upwards, and Davina who had climbed up onto Klaus bed, and left muddy footprints on his sheets said, "Yes, and we're going to get Tim."

"Who's going to look after all these people?" Josh said, sounding panicked for the first time.

Hayley and Davina were half way up the beanstalk when Elijah poked his head through the door.

"Ah," were the first words he said, as though he was admiring the paint for the first time.

"Make sure those people don't leave the house, Josh will fill you in, and please tidy up before Klaus gets home, we'll be back as soon as we can. If that's not in a few hours, you might want to tell Klaus he'll need a new maid."

"I'm not staying here? Who said, I was staying here?" Josh said, taken aback.

"Frankly, I may have only gotten here, but I'd prefer it if you did go along with them. Hayley, considering the last time I told you what to do you threw a cheese grater at my head, I will just tell you to be careful, and if you feeling the slightest unwell, do come back. Whatever is up there can wait."

"Not if it's a giant ogre who stole Davina's magic, it can't," Hayley said. "Besides, it's about time the princess saved the prince from the monster. See you in a bit," and she kept climbing after Davina, rising above the fog and leaving the tiger's roars far behind them.

"Damn, I should have grabbed the Hunter's sword, but I didn't fancy carrying it if I didn't have too."

"The what?" Davina huffed, wiping the beads of sweat and hair from her cheeks.

"Never mind," Hayley muttered, pulling herself off the head of the beanstalk and looking around again for the tiger, then remembering tiger's couldn't climb trees... "Any ideas?" she asked, her hands naturally cupping her baby bump.

Davina looked around at what looked like a vast paddock without any cows. She pointed over at a cottage which looked very much like Hayley's. The cottage, as they got closer to it was about the size of three St Louis Cathedral's in Jackson square. They felt only as big as grasshoppers.

"Can you see Tim anywhere?" Hayley whispered.

"No," Davina said.

"What about the ogre?"

"No," Davina said. "Klaus will kill us, won't he?"

"Not if he can't find us," Hayley muttered, thinking she heard the terrified cries of a prince in distress. "Come on, this way!"

Josh's yell echoed after them, "Oi! Wait for me!"

A/N: Please review. Will add to this later, just wanted to post what I had so far. Shall I continue? x