Betrayal
An Agents of SHIELD fanfic by Aisling Yinyr Ngaio
Grant Ward never thought he could feel pain like this since he was separated from his psychotic older brother and sent to live with his grandmother permanently. But from the moment he entered the apartment of the target, he felt it, piercing through his heart in tandem with the sexual noises emitting through the closed bedroom door.
It was her. His first and only student agent. The same woman he'd vouched for just a few hours ago, only to now be presented with the proof of her betrayal.
He should have expected this. Only a month ago he'd been one of her strongest opposers when Agent Coulson overrode his objections in bringing her aboard. Since then, he'd thought she'd committed. He'd thought she was a part of them now. He'd seen her bonding with the scientists, cheerfully bearding Coulson whenever he roamed the Bus, and…
And sharing secrets with him as they trained together in the light of dawn, just the two of them in the relative intimacy of the silent cargo hold.
Had it all been an act? Had he - they all - been taken in by her outward charm? Should he have been more sceptical, considering her background and former (current?) affiliation?
He forced himself to think only of his duty, even as he started ransacking the apartment for evidence blindly, always distracted by what his imagination couldn't stop supplying even when the bedroom fell silent. Forced his back to her and let Coulson and May handle her and… the target... while he turned the other way, disgusted that he'd been taken in by a beautiful face.
Could she truly have hidden so much and projected so falsely for so long? All without tripping up even once in their month-long residence on the Bus before today's disaster? Was she really that good an actress?
He couldn't bear looking at her or her boyfriend without being shamed by the knowledge that he'd allowed his personal admiration for her guts to cloud his better judgement. She'd been clever, courageous, and when she wanted to, committed to a fault. And he had…
Confided in her. Found all sorts of excuses to spend time with her even outside of their training hours. Opened his heart to her, spilling secrets that he'd never in a million years even hint to another.
It was only a small consolation that she was truly unaware of the full extent of her boyfriend's chicanery. Even as he reminded himself to stay impartial, he couldn't help the tiny bitter-tinged satisfaction at the betrayal on her face when he showed her the deposit slips. He grimly started suiting up as if on autopilot the moment SHIELD successfully triangulated the location of Centipede's new lab in Hong Kong, whether to atone for his mistake in trusting the wrong person or to lose himself in work he no longer cared, were it not for Coulson's orders.
He forced himself not to squeeze the whiskey glass too tightly when she asked tentatively for his support in facing Coulson, and for the first time in their short acquaintance, turned her away, refusing to even look at her, not before he could forget the pain of today, all because he'd let her too close to him.
Grant Ward scowled into his drink once he caught himself still subconsciously listening for her footsteps as she climbed the stairs, and adamantly repeated his resolve to treat her only as a teammate from now on, should Coulson actually allow her to continue on in the team. And he finally, finally realised why his own supervising officer had never deviated from their strict training schedule or socialised with him during his time at the Academy, not until after he graduated to Clearance Level 1.
Maybe it will hurt less this way.
- Finis -