This fic links pretty much directly into one of my other fics: Well... That Explained A Lot.

I've always been intrigued by Leah's character and the fact that even though fate was such an utter bitch to her, she still managed to get on with the job, her darkly cynical sense of humour intact.

I liked the bits in BD which were from Jacob's perspective merely because they offered more of an insight into her character and its complexities.

This is going to be more or less parallel with Well... That Explained A Lot, but it's going to let me delve a little deeper into Leah, which should be a terribly enjoyable experience for all of us. Huzzah.

It's slightly AU, since in the books Leah hasn't offed herself to college, but other than that it's pretty much canon. Apart from all my OCs. But whatever.

The first couple of chapters are just going to be foundation chapters, as Leah's brain walks us through what we're going to need to know for when the story itself begins.

Prologue: Part 1 – in the beginning

I was thrilled to bits when I got the letter from Washington State saying I'd been accepted. It meant that I could finally get away from La Push and all the shitty memories it held.

Then there was the fact that I knew that if not for me, dad would still be alive. Mom and I were having a massive argument – it was a year to the day since Sam had left me, and I had cut my hair short. Sam had always commented on how nice it was back when it was long and we were together, so I felt the need to sever that link. I also felt the need to sever his head from his shoulders, but I knew that wasn't likely to happen. Mom had flipped out – she'd been treading pretty lightly around the issue for a year, and this seemed to have tipped her over the edge. We were screaming at each other, until the anger I'd felt sitting around inside me found an outlet, shifting me into a giant wolf.

Dad had had a heart attack then and there. Of course he hadn't freaked at all a week earlier when Seth had shifted. It was the fact that I was a girl that was so unbelievable for him. So he died. And I was left with the guilt. I knew that Seth and mom didn't blame me, but every so often I got the feeling that one of the guys did. And it sucked.

That was my senior year. I got my acceptance letter and finally had a way out, at least temporarily. That summer, there had of course been that whole shebang with the newborn vampires – a total waste of a summer holidays, and another reminder that even though I was able to get away from everyone's minds, especially Sam's during the year, there would always come a time when I'd have to come back and be subjected to their shit once again.

They all thought I'd gone after that newborn alone because I was trying to prove something. That was bullshit. I only got there first because they were all too slow. I'd already torn a chunk out of its leg and was doing fine when Jake came barrelling in, acting the hero. I didn't stay around any longer than I had to after that. I said goodbye to little Sethles and headed back to Seattle. I spent the summer crashing with George, one of my best friends both from high school and from my course in Mechanical Engineering. A living arrangement which apparently displeased Sam to no end. Served him right.

The next summer, the one before Seth's junior year, I was back at the rez, and once again there was a vampire related state of emergency. But this time Jake did what I'd been reasonably sure he was going to get around to doing at some point (I can't understand why no-one else saw it coming. It wasn't that hard to read the sifting power dynamics) and split from the pack. And Seth, the magnificent idiot that he was, followed him. But then I realised that that magnificent idiot might have had a point. Because if there was any chance, however slim, that I might be able to get out of Sam's head for good, I was going to take it.

So I split from the pack, was mildly grossed out by Jake imprinting on a mutant infant, participated in the most boring showdown I could imagine taking place, and then went back to Seattle. Over the course of the year, Seth kept me posted as to what was happening on the rez. As Quil and Embry split to join Jake (they were practically brothers after all), and the older brothers returned home, having finished college, only to make the shift to being wolves themselves. Josh, Max and Tim, the brothers of Quil, Brady and Colin respectively all joined Sam's pack, which (from what I got from Rachel who heard from Paul) caused a bit of an issue when Josh heard the full backstory to the whole Sam-Me-Emily thing. We'd dated for a while when I was in freshman year, and he had apparently been less than thrilled to learn the whole truth as to why I'd been single. Apparently he spent a couple of months periodically remembering all the times he'd found me hiding in the stacks at the library, crying quietly.

I had him to thank for the fact that I was no longer the emotional wreck I had been when I started college. It was just that after a while it was obvious to both of us that the relationship wasn't going anywhere. We stayed friends, but that didn't stop me from first chewing him out for not telling me what was going on between him and Sam, and then going absolutely nuts at Sam for actually fighting with him merely because he'd called Sam on the fact that he'd been a dick to me. It was also comforting to confirm that Josh hadn't imprinted on me. There was no way in hell I was looking to go through anything even remotely related to that shit at any time in the future.

Little Sethles, to whom I'd read bedtime stories when he had nightmares, and with whom I'd practiced soccer back when he was on that ridiculous soccer team in elementary school along with Colin and Brady, and their best friend (although I suppose that sister would have been a better word for the relationship) Jimmy (the poor dear had been named after her father who had died before she was born, leaving her with the name of James Carter. Oh yes. It sucked rather mightily to be her) continued to grow up, and I could tell he was starting to miss me, seeing as I only really came into contact with him during summer break, so the summer before starting third year, when Seth was going to be a junior, I moved back home. My class schedule was such that I could actually live at home and just commute in each day. Which was nice, because I was also starting to miss the rez.