Title: Flirting with Death
Status: Oneshot
I am very aware that Will is dead at the end of Divergent, but for the purpose of this fiction, he is alive. It was very upsetting when he died. And shocking, we didn't really have much time to dwell.
"Every man is afraid of something. That's how you know he's in love with you; when he is afraid of losing you."
Tris trailed her hand gently over the jagged bricks in the wall that formed one of the many long gloomy corridors leading towards God's knows where.
She had been at the Dauntless base long enough to have memorised the basic routes round campus, but she still found herself only able to recognise her location when she saw a certain key feature.
For example, she knew she was heading towards the Pit if she saw two consecutive blue lamps that were dimmer than all the rest, or if she passed a blue light that had no covering and was just a plain bulb she would be coming towards the initiate's dorm rooms.
She followed the curve of the wall round until it opened up into the large space where the chasm was. She paused there, sighing as she leant back against the wall. She had now officially made a full circle.
She really wanted to head back towards the game room, where most of the dauntless kids gathered in the evenings to hang out, but she knew Christina and Will wouldn't be there, only the other dauntless kids, and she really wasn't in the mood to socialise tonight.
She was too busy brooding over things that she really couldn't control. Like the ambush on Abnegation that resulted in the slaughtering of hundreds of Abnegations including her mother and father.
So she decided if she couldn't control the war, she would work on controlling her own personal battles.
Like eliminating things in her fear landscape or ensuring that no more appeared.
It was a good distraction, from the unknown, the uncontrollable, and Christina's and Will's poorly disguised lust for each other. That was the main reason why she had left the game room in the first place- to get away from their affection.
It was starting to annoy her, the way they so casually flirted and teased each other while they played ping pong, or snooker. Eventually, they started to play games less, and kiss more.
Tris got the hint and left just before them, making sure that they headed in complete opposite directions.
She recalled their laughter as they stumbled drunkenly down the corridor towards their rooms, holding each other carefully despite their wild behaviour. She recalled Christina's sighs as Will tenderly kissed her.
She wanted to punch them.
She wanted them to break up and get over this insane infatuation with each other.
She wanted them to hurt like she hurt.
As soon as she thought this she dug her nails into her palms and banged her head against the solid wall behind her. You selfish person, she thought bitterly.
She didn't really want them to break up, or get over each other.
She didn't even really want to punch them.
She wanted them to be happy. She wanted them to think they were in love, and flirt and kiss carelessly.
What she really wanted was for her to find the same thing.
She wanted everything that they had, which just happened to be everything she couldn't seem to get.
And it's your own fault, she thought fiercely.
She scrubbed the heel of her hands down her face, sighing loudly before letting them drop to her lap.
It was her own stupid fault that she no longer had any sort of relationship with Tobias. She had kept him at arm's length since the attempted Erudite revolution and eventually pushed him so far away that nothing could repair their relationship.
She had destroyed it and now she couldn't face the consequences.
She hugged her elbows, burying her face in her arms and bit her lip hard to hold in a sob. The more she thought about Will and Christina, the more convinced she became that her reasons for keeping Tobias away were pathetic.
"Tris?" a worried voice sounded close to her ear. "Tris, what's wrong?"
She yelped, jerking upright and grazing her bare shoulders against the wall.
Uriah was crouching beside her, his dark eyes staring worriedly at her. His mouth was a thin line and his hands hovered over her knee, looking uncertain as whether to pat it or leave her be.
Tris quickly dragged her hands over her cheeks, wiping away any tears. "I'm fine." She tried to smile, her lips stretching wide.
Too fake, she thought sadly, much too fake.
He didn't look convinced. He placed a hand on her knee, patting gently as he waited patiently for her to continue.
"I…" she swallowed hard. "I'm okay, really. Just a little tired." She covered his hand with her own and squeezed reassuringly.
He smiled weakly. "It has been exhausting recently. Are you sure you're okay? Do you want me to take you to your room?"
She smiled genuinely this time. "It's okay. Go have fun." She shoved his shoulder, pushing him towards the opening that was across the cave that led towards the Pit.
He studied her for a moment and she stared evenly back. Finally, he ruffled her hair and stood, grinning down at her. "I'll go try my hand at beating Lynn at poker. She bet me earlier that I couldn't, so I decided to prove her wrong."
Tris grinned back. "Naturally."
He waved as he jogged out of sight, leaving Tris alone once again.
After about five minutes of just sitting there she felt a sudden burst of anger. What the hell was she doing, sitting her having a pity party big enough to cover five people?
She didn't do pity parties, no matter how bad things got.
She shoved herself to her feet, pushing her hair back off her face and inhaling deeply. She was going to get over herself, stop moping about and go watch Lynn and Uriah play poker. If she was lucky, she would swindle a rematch out of Marlene from the earlier ping pong game where she lost 10-11.
Her steps faltered when she saw him leaning against the railings, hidden by the shadows, next to the chasm.
Beads of sweat gathered in the creases of her hands, and she discreetly tried to wipe them on her black jeans. She would not look at him. She would not look at him.
She wouldn't.
She casually pulled her hair over one shoulder, shielding her face from him.
She would not look. Not even when she felt his cool calculating gaze on her.
"You know, out of all your friends, I expected Uriah to be one of the ones who could see through your act. Guess I was wrong."
She resisted the urge to run, instead, gripping the bottom of her black sleeveless top tightly to stop the shaking in her hands.
She needed to look at him.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She said, working hard to keep her voice steady.
She glanced over her shoulder as she heard him laugh, a deep delicious sound that sent shivers racing down her spine.
"Don't play coy with me. It won't work." His blue eyes twinkle at her from across the cave.
She glared, turning to face him and folding her arms.
Too defensive, she chided herself. She needed to relax.
"I don't know what you're talking about." She repeated tightly.
He smirked, pushing away from the railing and walking towards her. His steps were precise and measured- predatory.
He stalked her a moment, slowly circling her before closing in from behind, forcing her to move forward.
She turned as she walked, eyeing him furiously as she stepped back. Each step she made took her farther away from escape, and closer to the chasm, towards the railings right where he wanted her.
To trap her.
It wasn't going to work.
She squared her shoulders, lifting her chin and raising one hand to fend him off. "Stop." She said quietly, evenly despite the fact her heart was drumming against her ribcage hard enough to make her feel slightly dizzy.
He tilts his head to the side, still smirking, as he keeps coming forward. His chest bumps her hand and she glares harder.
He keeps walking, effectively pushing her backwards. She pushes back but is too weak to stop his attack.
Her back hits the cool railing that is now the only thing preventing her from falling into the chasm.
"What are you doing?" she demands, shoving against his chest.
He grins and leans forward, caging her in with his arms on either side of her, his hands braced against the railing. "Let's not play games Tris," he whispers.
She snorts. "Yeah, let's not Four."
He frowns, and she feels the muscles in his arms tense slightly against her skin. She swallows hard, hoping he can't feel the shivers dancing down her spine and along her arms.
He studies her a moment, his blue eyes analysing her face. Finally, his gaze lingers on her lips, and slowly drags up towards her eyes where they hold her captivated.
She opens her mouth, a snarky retort on her lips, but he shifts his weight slightly so he is now much closer, close enough that she can feel the heat emanating from his body.
It was terribly distracting.
Swallowing past the moan that appears to have lodged itself in her throat, she balls her hands into fists that are pressed to her sides and says, "I believe its you're turn to say something. You know," She waves dismissively, "If we are actually going to follow the rules of conversation."
He narrows his eyes, sharpening his already scrutinising gaze. "I don't know what to say to you."
She frowns, raising a tense hand to brush the fringe off her face. "I don't know what you mean."
He snorts, shaking his head in disbelief. "Well let's be honest for a minute Tris, it's not like we've been doing a lot of talking lately. It's not like we've been doing a lot of anything recently."
His voice is barely civil by the end of his sentence, and his eyes are barely masking hurt.
Tris clenches her jaw, fighting the urge to look away from his accusing gaze.
"I believe it's your turn to say something now."
She slams her hands into his chest, surprising him into rocking back a step. "You ass."
"That's the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?" he snaps.
Tris feels heat burning behind her eyes; tears.
She clenches her hands by her sides and grits her teeth. She will not cry. She will not.
"Tris?"
She refuses to answer, not out of spite, simply because she knows if she opens her mouth she will cry.
Strong hands grip her shoulders. "Tris?" they shake her.
"I'm sorry," she says, bringing her hands up to push his away. "I'm so sorry."
She ducks low to the floor, lunging under his arm. She stumbles, scrambling round on the floor trying to regains her balance when a hand grabs her forearm and jerks her upright.
She's pulled tightly to a hard chest, her back pressed to the railing and her hands trapped against his stomach.
"I don't even know what you're supposed to be sorry for." Tobias says into her hair.
Tris pulls in a shuddering breath. "Let's not play no more. We both know the score. It'll be easier if we just leave it like it is."
Cold fingers grip her chin, pulling it up to look at him. "Let's not. I don't understand you any more Tris. You were fine in Amity. You were fine when we regrouped here. You were fine until…well, you weren't. I can't even remember what happened."
She stared up at him, desperately wanting to lean into him and never let him go but still feeling that cold hand of dread pulling her back, reminding her that she is not good enough.
He lowered his head towards her face, his warm breath washing over her cheeks. His lips brush her own when he speaks, "Please. Please talk to me."
A tear squeezes out of her eye, rolling down her cheek. Her lower lip trembles against his, making her stomach knot pleasantly. "God, you could've died."
The statement bursts out of her before she can stop it. "You could've died and it would've been my entire fault. And you can't even see how bad it is. You can't see how…God, Tobias. It would've torn me apart!"
Suddenly, she is hoisted up by her hips. A cool metal bar is pressed into the underside of her thighs and a chilling mist is spraying her back.
Her hands grip the bars either side of her legs, holding so tightly her knuckles turn white.
"What are you doing?" she shouts, glancing wildly over her shoulder at the treacherous chasm below.
"Look at me." He commands quietly.
"Tobias_" she begins, fear clenching her muscles so tightly she feels like one move will make her snap.
"Look at me," he moves one hand from her hips and cups her cheek, tugging her face to face his own.
"I don't know what the hell is going on in your head Tris, but none of this is your fault." He moves his other hand to cup her other cheek, wiping away tears.
"Don't let me go!" She sobs. "Please don't let me go!" her eyes are wide and terrified as they stare into his.
"I wouldn't do that." He wraps his arms securely round her waist, steadying her.
Her gasping eventually slows, and she stare at the floor, unable to meet his waiting gaze.
"Better?" he finally asks.
She whips her head up to glare at him. "Let go of me," she snaps.
A smirk tilts the corners of his lips up and he does indeed let go of her.
She lets out a shriek as she falls backwards.
And then suddenly she is in Tobias' arms, being held to his chest with her legs wrapped round his waist. His nose traces the line of her jaw as she struggle to catch her breath.
"A little trust would be nice Tris." She feels his breath on her neck as he laughs.
Her insides are jelly. She can't focus on anything but him. She can't even muster up the strength to be angry at him for pretending to drop her.
He balances her with his hips pressing her back against the railing as he raises a hand to brush the hair from her warm neck and the other to angle it upwards. His lips brush over the skin and she swallow hard.
She clutches at the railing behind her, desperately trying to stop the shaking in her hands. "Tobias…" she mumbles breathily.
"Hmmm?" his lips nibble her skin as his hands stroke tantalizing circles on the bare skin above the waistband of her jeans.
"I…" she can't form one single coherent thought, and by the sound of his chuckling in her ear, it's his intention.
"Now that I have your undivided attention," he smirks against her neck, pressing his lips to the sensitive skin just behind her earlobe. "Would you care to explain your theory of 'it being all your fault' so on and so forth…?"
Her breathing is starting to become too loud- almost embarrassingly so- but she is too intent on balancing on the bar and not moaning with pleasure to care.
"It's just…before I got involved with you, you never had any trouble. But then in the short time that we do get involved, you get kidnapped, almost shot and then forced to test out the Erudite's new simulation. I'm trouble." she gasps loudly as his teeth tug gently at her ear lobe.
"You silly girl; you didn't cause any of that. It was going to happen no matter what." He pulls back, tilting his head to the side as he stares at her thoughtfully. "You don't really blame yourself for that, do you?"
Tears are brimming in her eyes again and she resists the urge to scream in frustration. Why do I keep crying? She thinks despairingly.
"My mother died for me, so did my father. I don't want you to die too."
He smiles gently at her. "I'm not going anywhere."
She studies him as she thinks about this. His blue eyes are bright and alive, staring intently back at her. His lips are pressed lightly together, and his chest barely brushes hers' as he inhales and exhales. Finally, she says, "I love you."
He takes her face earnestly in his hands and fits his mouth to hers'. She kisses him back, an urgency that she didn't know was there until now making her lips part with his and her tongue timidly flick out to brush his teeth. A thrill goes through her as the tip of his tongue touches hers'.
She pulls back, gasping for air. He touches his lips to her forehead, his fingers carefully soothing her hair back from her face.
She tips her chin up to look at him expectantly.
He grins. "I love you too."
Okay, so cliché ending with the whole 'I love you' thing and I don't usually do it because it just seems…well cliché and terribly romantic. Not that there's anything wrong with romance. It's sweet and adds to a good story :)
Anyway. Thoughts?