"Aww... my little poppet is turning thirteen a bloody teenager!" Arthur Kirkland wailed grasping the little boy making his son seriously question his sanity for bringing it up.
"Mom I can't stay a kid forever..." Peter rustled trying to get out of his grasp while his friends Ravis Galante, Carlo Vargas, and Wyona Kirkland laughed at his pain. They always laughed at his 'mother's' antics, for Arthur Kirkland did not enjoy the thought of his little baby becoming independent.
No matter what he tried his mother still found a way to stifle his fun and it annoyed him to no ends, though hew had to admit he also kind of liked it, to say Arthur spoiled him was a gross understament. Whatever popped into Peter's head Peter got. Even if it was a boat, take that laughing friends.
The only thing he didn't get was information on his strange birth, he didn't have a father. Granted Arthur was undeniably male. However the whole island knew that the stuffy Brit gave birth to the little boy now being squeezed to death. It had been the scandal to the whole island, that Arthur had tried to escape to before the world discovered little Peter's existence.
Thankfully beside the occasional nosy reporter it had stayed relatively quiet. No one bothered to go out of they're way to let the story out. After all the islanders were quite found off they're humorous neighbors and always had a stern 'talking' to the visitors nosing about. Those talks usually consisted of a strong beating from Ludwig Belishimit with a night in jail and then a forced signing of a legal gag provided byRoderich Edelstein. Now that child they had tried so hard to protect was about to turn thirteen to the amusement of the villagers and the disappointment of his mother.
"Mom seriously I can't breathe." Peter chocked out finally Arthur realizing his mistake released his child and promptly began looking for damage.
"I'm so sorry Peter, I lost my head there for a bit." He sighed satisfied his child was fine walked over to the cupboard to fix tea for his very amused friend and Peter's friends.
"I highly doubt it was ever on mon cher." Francis Bonnefey laughed in his annoying French way. Noticing his mother's attention would soon be focused solely on the frog ,Peter quickly left the room with his friends laughing as they heard shouts and a loud banging sound. As if Arthur had just taken Francis's head to the kitchen counter.
"How can those two even claim to be friends?" Ravis asked a little shakily.
"No one knows." Peter sighed. Everyone was quite till they reached Peter's room and made sure they locked the door.
"So what did you read in your mom's diary." Wy asked as soon as Carlo shut the door. They'd all been curious if their friend would actually follow through on his claims to steal Mr. Kirkland's diary to find his father.
"For the last time Wy it's a journal and I've got it right here." He grinned pulling out a little navy book from his desk drawer. "From the year I was conceived..."
"And..." Carlo pressed getting annoyed at the suspense.
"I have seven possible fathers!" Peter wailed tossing the book towards his cousin and collapsing on his bed.
"My god! Seriously!" All his friends shrieked. Wy quickly opened the book reading eagerly while Peter told the story a bit muffled by his pillow...
"Yeah, apparently mom was in love with Uncle Mattie's brother... and I guess he did something stupid, mom doesn't say what. Then I guess he was so depressed he kept getting drunk after the break up and had a fling with this Ivan Bragniski, Jones's friend... and Antonio Fernandez Carriedo, Kiku Honda, and Yoa Wang, some old friends of his; As well as Uncle Gilbert and Francis. Apparently mom was a bloody git and didn't realize his friends all liked him... enough to wank him and yeah it's all so messed up..." Peter sighed turning on his side to stare at his friends.
"So which one did you invite?" Ravis cautiously asked gulping.
"All of them... I want my real dad here whoever he is..."
It was a simple calm and peaceful day for the islanders the only loud thing that had procured was a drunk Prussian getting thrown out again from the local bar, who then preceded to sing obnoxious profane songs till he passed out in the ally; which honestly was so usual his brother had stopped going to said ally to pick him up, let the dumkomph find his own way home...
So anyways twas a normal day till a very loud sound broke the peaceful tranquility, an airplane. All of the villagers threw open their shutters to see the commotion flying towards the house on the north side of the island, Kirkland manor. They would have chased said plane if they hadn't caught a glimpse of the pilot. 'Since when did Williams' own a plane?' was everyone's thought. So they just ignored it.
But the people inside the manor did not and after hearing the unusual sound rushed out to view the spectacle. Peter was in aww... where as Arthur after seeing the pilot in through the glass wished hell would open up then and take him.
"HAHAHAHA! Liston to me and my total hero voice guys! Artie I've come to kidnap you!" A childish voice laughed and everyone of the youngsters present began to wonder since when did their silent Canadian snap and where did he get the plane. But if they looked by Francis they would have seen him mirroring their awe.
"Oh no, god no!" Arthur yelled running back towards the house only to be strangely lassoed by a rope and lifted a couple of feet up in the air. "Ahhhhh! Alfred F-ing Jones put me the hell down!" He screamed.
"Arthur, you're happy to see us, da!" A tall Russian called from the now open side door where the rope was dangling from.
"Ivan sod off!"
"So those are your dad's?" Carlo laughed at the spectacle.
"Oh, but I thought we could become one again, da?" He called down. Suddenly the plane turned sideways and Ivan found himself falling towards the ocean... "Vodka!" He yelled completely undisturbed.
"Ivan!" Arthur yelled staring at the falling man.
"That's what you get commie! I may have given you a ride cause your my friend but keep your communist mitts off my man!" Finally Francis and Matthew who had been watching with slight amusement decided to jump into action and raced to untie their friend, barely succeeding before Arthur would have been impaled by the cliff above the manor.
"About time!" Arthur screeched then remembering Ivan, ran to the water's edge only a few yards away. "Ivan!"
"Ahh guess I shouldn't talk about my conquests..." The Russian said simply as he pulled himself from the water.
"No you shouldn't. I'm not a conquest."Arthur huffed helping the tall man to his feet. While everyone ran over to see the damage, the plane circled around to land, spewing that obnoxious laugh.
"Still sure this was a good idea shithole." Carlo laughed officially making it known to the author that with crazy Italians its not possible to keep a story PG... said author now upset tossed a banana peel from the heavens to hit the Italian.
"Hey where the hell did that come from?" Carlo yelled removing the peel from his face and throwing it towards the house.
"That's what you get for ruining my story with your potty mouth!" A voice yelled in the Italian's' mind, while Arthur realizing the plane was now officially landed made a beeline for the house only to be recaptured by the creepy Russian.
"Artie! Don't run away!" The American screamed once his plane was parked, ran towards his favorite Brit jumping to glomp him to the ground. Said Brit now released turned to stare, slightly blushing and backing away. Sadly for the American however due to the author making a peel appear out of nowhere he tripped and landed a foot away from his goal blood splattering everywhere.
"Alfred!" Arthur screamed ignoring his flee instinct as maternal instinct took over, and that was how potential daddy's number one and two arrived
Potential father's three and four arrived simply enough in fact just like number one and two they arrived together but on a more practical route; seeing as they actually took the ferry. However they're greetings was not so simple.
They arrived on the same day of Alfred's idiotic jump, actually in the same hour as. When they knocked on the door of Kirkland manor, one was literally jumped by a very creepy Russian who sucked him into a bear hug. The other actually got to survey the scene playing on in the family room to his left.
"Ouch Artie could you stop!" The American whined withering as Arthur tried in vain to clean the man's face from his busted lip and bloody nose. Already his leg was propped up on the couch by a pillow. He'd sprained it.
"Well if you weren't such a bloody idiot, then I wouldn't have to fix your messes, again! Why are you even here?" The Brit huffed pressing the cloth a little too hard against the cut.
"Ano… Sumimasen Arthur san." The two blondes turned to look at the previously invisible Japanese man. Then again everyone had been invisible to the Englishman; he had the habit of ignoring everyone when someone annoyed him and only chastising the cause of his annoyance. And since Ivan was preoccupied and Alfred was already the center of his focus from being injured he was getting the full wrath of an upset Arthur.
"Kiku?" Peter stared at the pair looking at each other noticing Alfred F. Jones was silently fuming. Interesting, he smiled nodding at the American, getting Wy and Carlo to notice. They shared his grin.
"Hai."
"Aiyah, Ivan let go now aru!" The other Asian called from the entrance hallway when he finally was able to pull up for air from the Russian bear hug. Ivan smiled happily releasing him.
"Yao? Alright did I miss some bloody memo why are you all here?" Arthur scoffed sending a pointed glare to all of them.
"You invited us Artie! Don't be mean." Alfred whined and Peter gulped. He didn't want his mother knowing it as because of him.
"You did invite us, da?" Ivan asked confused cocking his head.
"I most certainly didn't!"
"Then it appears someone tricked us." Kiku said quietly as all stares turned to glares mainly pointing at Francis.
"You think it was I? Non it was not I!" Arthur walked up to his face looking as if he'd breath fire on his old 'friend'.
"Oh, bugger off we all know it was you. Bloody tosser!" He threw his hand in the air walking out of the room, done with it all. "I want you all out!" Arthur yelled over his shoulder heading upstairs slamming the door to his room. Francis already knew he was a goner.
"Wait so this was a sham by you aru?" Yao asked frowning at the French man he like everyone else was so excited to see Arthur again.
"Well my invite said I was invited for two weeks to celebrate some Peter's birthday so the hero's staying!" Alfred decided crossing his arms in determination, though with his foot he wouldn't be able to move very well for a couple of days.
At Alfred's stance Francis asked to see one of the letters. Kiku gladly handed over his sighing heavily; the ferry said it wouldn't be back from the mainland for a couple of weeks. So he was stuck whether Arthur liked it or not… he and Yao. He wasn't sure how Ivan and Alfred had gotten there.
"Peter could I see you for a moment in the kitchen." All eyes turned to the now pale boy, the potential fathers were stunned. The kid looked a lot like Arthur. Was he the Brit's nephew or worse his son? Had Arthur married and had a wife somewhere stowed away?
Reluctantly and once he got a small smile from Wy Peter entered the kitchen. Francis was leaning on the island counter eyeing him up and down. Peter shuffled his feet nervously looking anywhere but at the man they both knew Francis knew. He was too observant, Peter was just lucky Arthur hadn't seen it and instead blamed his poor friend.
"It was you who wrote the letters, mon cher." He said sadly and simply.
"Yeah… I ah I just wanted my dad to be here…" Peter sniffled fighting back tears. It was so hard to admit it but he knew Francis would figure it out. He was too perceptive.
"Oh, Peter." Francis warped him in a hug. It was completely understandable a boy would want to know such a thing. He couldn't blame the boy and honestly he'd felt it awful that Arthur hadn't mentioned it. Then again under the circumstances given neither Arthur, Matthew, or himself knew Peter's true father's identity and Arthur not wanting to bring up those dark days of stupid nights he could see why Arthur never did.
All he knew was that he wasn't Peter's father and neither was Gilbert. He'd had them both tested, at first he kept it a secret from Arthur. He was already under so much worry and guilt that he didn't want the test. So when Peter was born Francis had sent for an answer, a few months later he was still at Peter's side helping the Brit raise the boy. Even though they both knew he wasn't the father. He was just a friend.
"You know this well upset Arthur. He can't actually send them away and he has too many bad memories with them to want them here." Francis sighed. Peter sniffled nodding.
"I know he can't. The ferry only comes every other week in August and September." Peter smiled weakly.
"That is true so thanks to you I'll likely be hosting them and be blamed for this fiasco."
"You won't tell them it was me?" He asked hopefully.
"Of course not I'll even help you allow them to come to your actual party." Francis pinky promised. He honestly would he found this plan endearing and sweet. Likely he'd get Matthew to join as well. Hopefully they could get Arthur to move on, kicking and screaming likely, as they would likely play matchmaker to fix him up with his exes. Yes this would be fun and maybe just maybe they could find out Peter's father.
"GO AWAY FROG!" Arthur screamed at the door. He knew he was being immature but damnit he had a right to after everything. He was lying on his bed and certainly not crying. Nope not a tear, he was fine.
"Arthur open up, you can't stay in there forever mon cher."
"WATCH ME!" Francis shook his head at his friend's antics. He'd already made the point of how childish his child friend was being but sadly instead of getting the door open for his axis and him hit Arthur had just yelled he didn't care.
This was a fine mess. What was worse Matthew was downstairs entertaining the house callers and a very upset Peter who was blaming himself for a perfectly normal thing, human curiosity. All of whom could hear the devilishly horrid racket Arthur was making.
"Arthur could you at least stop yelling we need to talk." Of course Arthur yelled at him he didn't need to talk adding a few fowl words in the mix.
"Fine stay in there and have your period! You can't ignore them forever and like it or not you're stuck with them!"
AN: Damn, well this was really just crack. XD I watched a hetalia version of the comerical Mamma Mia and somehow got it in my head that the cast was all wrong, no offense two the creator I loved it but for some reason wanted to try my own attempt. And since I don't have clips to make a video this hear crack fanfic spilled out. The scene with the airplane spawned cause while watching the commerical I wanted to make an awesome entrence to match that line and if I had the clips woulda used those scenes (you know the ones) in it. Anyways now this, is a fanfic and Arthur's slept with alot of people cause face it there's alot of pairings four him ergo mamamia for Peter, Sealand afterall is England's own fort he made and birthed into existence.
Will I continue? So who's Peter's true dad? Will Arthur ever come out of his room?
And will any of you get this fail soap refrence?