My breaths were labored, coming in short, small, hiccups. I heard a knock at the door, the voice of the policeman patiently calling out to me. But I couldn't go confront him. I was currently very busy examining the wooden table my head rested on. Despite my hand being clamped around my mouth, a strangled sob still slipped past my lips.

My shoulders shook, warm tears trailing down my face as I struggled to process what the man at the door had said. He had been as nice as he could be in the situation. He respectfully removed his cap, and explained everything calmly. When I started to back away, back into the safety of the apartment, he made no move to stop me. He just cast his eyes to the ground and stepped away from the doorway, giving me my privacy. He was a good man. Or maybe he's just done this kind of thing before.

I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Hopefully it was just my email, not someone trying to contact me. How do I explain that to Jace, or Isabelle? They were busy enough as it is, I didn't need to burden them with personal things.

I felt bad for leaving the police officer standing outside at this hour, but I couldn't invite him inside. After what he had just told me, I couldn't. I just couldn't. If I had to look at that man, all I would see was the man who told me the news. It wasn't his fault; he just happened to be the unlucky officer they sent away from the scene to tell the deceased's only daughter what had happened.

I felt a pain in my stomach, and looked down to see my free hand had dug its nails into my right side, causing small red marks to form. My nose was cold from sitting on the cold kitchen chair in nothing but pajama short-shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

The officer knocked rather loud on the apartment door, perhaps growing tired with me. He didn't seem to understand I wanted to be left alone. I had stood there, listening to his account of what happened, the glare of the police car's lights dancing across my eyes, but I didn't see them. I heard him the whole ten minutes it took to explain the incident to me, his voice unwavering all the while. But, I couldn't recall it at the same time.

I need to tell him that he needs to go away so I can sleep. Jocelyn won't be happy when she gets home and sees a police car outside the building. Neither will Luke. They'll assume something happened. Which it didn't. I need to go to sleep already; I have a big test in biology tomorrow. I can't do that if he doesn't leave me alone.

I must have stood, because I felt the cold tile on my feet, and heard the sticky slap slap of bare feet on hard floor. I must have opened the door, because I stood face to face with the police officer. He smiled down on me gratefully; perhaps glad I had come out of the safety of the apartment.
I looked blankly up at him, eyebrows drawn in confusion out of habit. He looked like he was going to say something, but I interrupted him as the words formed on his lips.
"I'm sorry, Mr.," I paused, looking at the nametag, "Sanchez. There must have been a mistake. You need to leave though. My mom and her friend will be worried if they see the police lights. And they don't need to worry, because nothing happened." I nodded, to confirm what I said to both myself and the officer.

He looked very wary of me after that, and made a movement as if to comfort me, but I stepped back. "Don't touch me. Nothing happened. Now please leave."
"Miss Fray, it would be best if you came with us," he gestured kindly behind him to the other officer that was waiting further away. "We need to settle some things concerning the d-"

"Don't you say it!" I practically shrieked. The world was wobbly, and I put a hand on the doorway for support. "Don't you dare say that word! You're a liar! Liar!"

He looked back to his partner, then back at me. Why was he looking at me like I was crazy? If anything, he was crazy. A crazy liar.
I knew Jocelyn and Luke were fine. They would be home from the outing soon enough, I just needed to show the officers that.

"They will be back," I said, looking up at the officer, wide eyed and voice slightly apologetic. "They're just running late. They do that sometimes, don't worry."
He looked down at me, eyes pitiful. "We have evidence. And seeing as you're the only available relative, it falls on you to help us with a few things. Unless there is a relative not mentioned?"

I frowned. I was the only one, but it shouldn't matter. Jocelyn and Luke were alive. There's no way.

I moved past him, beginning to walk down the street. He called out after me, and I heard the clink of jewelry. I paused, looking back. "I'm going to get them and show you you're wrong," I said, confident.

He had brandished a bracelet that, even in the poor lighting, looked familiar. He showed it to me carefully, and I felt myself pale. It was Jocelyn's, no doubt, only now it was darkened and sooty, as if…

"Why is it covered in ash..?" I asked in a small voice.

"There was a fire," the officer said, cringing slightly. "We have enough to prove they were caught in it. And there weren't any survivors."
It was then that I started running. My feet were bare, but that thought wasn't registering as my feet pounded down the sidewalk, quickly darting away from the street so cars couldn't reach me. At some point, the tears started coming, and I was forced to stop running to catch my breath, but by now I was fairly far away, phone still tucked into the waistband of my shorts.

"N-No," I told myself, voice cracking. Everything the officer had shown me at first, the building they had planned to visit burned to a foundation, the paperwork halfway completed, among more, combined with the ash smeared bracelet… The faint line of smoke that had been in the sky not long ago.

I looked around, trying to figure out where I had ended up. There was a river of sorts under a bridge across the street, and judging by the length of the bridge, it was a wide one. Almost unconsciously I started walking towards it. I felt myself sobbing silently. They were all I had in terms of family. If I looked back, I would have thought of Jace. Of Simon. But all that was in my mind were mental pictures of the people that had raised me, been there for me all along. Accompanied by smoke and flames.

A fresh wave of grief crashed into me, and a strangled sob broke through my lips. I leaned against the railing I had grown so close to, letting myself cry, feeling hopelessly abandoned. I looked down at the swift water below me. At the moment all I could process was the ache tearing through my heart and mind, and thinking frantically about what I could do to end it. To make the pain stop.

I blinked my eyes, most likely rimmed with red, and halfheartedly stepped onto the ledge over the railing, clammy hands holding onto the cold metal rail. I swallowed, taking a shaky breath. It wasn't that hard, right? To just step over and let the air catch me…

"Is this what all of the Nephilim spend their nights doing?" I heard a slightly accented voice ask. I didn't bother lifting my gaze from the water.

"You're Valentine's daughter, aren't you? One of the marked ones who enjoy breaking and entering," he said, and I remembered a flash of a memory that had been pushed away. The hotel, where New York's vampire clan resided.
I tilted my head, looking at the figure that leisurely leaned against the very railing that I was holding onto, several meters away.

"You're that vampire, aren't you?" I asked, voice wavering more than I would have preferred. "The one who helped us get into the hotel…"
"Yes, that would be me," he took a step closer, looking her up and down. "Are you trying to dress like a prostitute?"

I glared at him. "For one thing, these are pajamas. For another thing, women who make money through sex don't have to wear short-shorts 24/7. What if it's cold out?"

He laughed humorlessly. "If that's not the case, then why are you out at night in pajamas, hermosa?"

I glared again. "I didn't pay attention in Spanish class, but I'm going to assume that is either mean or rude or some combination of both. Possibly sexist. And it doesn't matter to you. Please leave. Maybe go bite something."

He grinned, revealing the tips of his fangs. "Is that an invitation, hermosa?"

I felt my face flush, my grip on the rail still strong. However, in the presence of conversation, the ache in my heart begging me to jump was faded compared to a minute ago.

"No, it's not," I murmured, but I know he heard me, "And I'm definitely assuming that word is derogatory, as of now."

He walked closer, raising an eyebrow. "So, are you going to jump? If so, I'm afraid I'm morally obligated to stop you."

I lowered my eyes, feeling the sharp pain of tears pricking my eyes and a sob choking my throat. I'm so childish. It's like there's a fog over my mind, and I can't think clearly. Part of me want to, so badly, just so it'll stop hurting. The other part faintly reminds me about the people I still have. But… What's the point? They can always find a new Shadowhunter; replace me easily, can't they…? The people I've had my whole life are gone, so why should I bother…?

My hands were nearly numb from clutching onto the rail, and my feet were freezing on the cold pavement. The rational part of my head was reminding me not to make a rash decision. Reminding me about Jace. About Simon.

I looked back at him, and shook my head meekly. I couldn't. I knew I couldn't. If not for me, then for Simon. I turned, planning to easily step over the short railing, but then the goddamned wind kicked back up. I only had one foot on the ground at that point, even that one was off balance, and the strong gust caught me off guard. Needless to say, I fell. Backwards. Off of the ledge.

The drop wasn't that far, I don't think, since it took what couldn't have been more than a second until I felt myself hit the water. It would've hurt less if it was frozen solid. The water was still just that, water, so even though the impact didn't hurt me that bad, again, I don't think it did, the cold seemed to seep under my skin, down to my bones. The water had a surprisingly fast current, and I was quickly underwater, holding my breath. My head ached. Maybe I did hit it against something… I didn't want to move. I was so cold. It was then that I felt arms wrap around me, pulling me in some direction. It might have been up, it might have been down. I couldn't tell.

We broke the surface, and I took a shaky breath, trying to get oxygen into my lungs. I looked up and saw the person from before. The one who had been on the bridge with me. My brain made a faint connection. Raphael. That was his name. I then lost consciousness.