*Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea of Jacob the Talking Nirnroot. ENJOY!*
Haskill knew something was up from the moment he was rudely teleported over to Sheogorath with the traditional call of, "HASKILL!" Sheogorath was awkwardly sitting on the throne, a gift-wrapped package not-quite-hidden behind him. "What is it, Sire?" he asked dully. "Well...it's your birthday, so I got you something!" said Sheogorath excitedly as he handed Haskill the present. It was splattered with something red, which could have been wine, but at the same time had almost an equal chance of being blood, knowing Sheogorath. Haskill just stood there, holding the present out away from himself at arm's length.
"Well, aren't you going to open it?" asked Sheogorath, "It's your birthday. The day of your birth. Now open it!" and Haskill knew it was better not to argue. He opened up the gift and found himself staring at a Nirnroot. "Isn't it great, Haskill? I just found out recently that Nirnroots are named Nirnroots because they're on Nirn! Isn't that interesting? I wonder why Sanguine found that so funny though…" said Sheogorath before his train of thought trailed off into mumbled nonsense.
By then, Haskill had decided that the best place to keep his new Nirnroot was at his desk near the entrance of the Shivering Isles. He was just about to leave the room when he heard a voice. He turned around, confused, but it didn't look like Sheogorath had called him, after all, he was currently in the middle of having a heated debate with himself. Haskill shrugged and walked out, almost sure that the rest of his day would be better than how it had started.
After walking to his desk, he carefully placed the Nirnroot (which was potted, a nice touch) off to the left side of it. Suddenly, he heard the voice again. "What is it?" he asked to the open air, sincerely hoping that it was nothing. "Hello Haskill, it's me, Jacob the Talking Nirnroot." Haskill looked at the Nirnroot, slightly alarmed. "Hello...Jacob…" he replied back hesitantly, "You can talk?" "Of course I can talk, what did you think I was, a horker?" "No, of course not, I was just surprised...that's all. It makes perfect sense now." Haskill said, quickly falling back on the 'just-agree-to-everything' tactics he had learned after many, many years of dealing with Sheogorath. "See, I knew you'd see reason...after all, it isn't every day you meet a talking Nirnroot. Now, can you do something about the 'clothing situation', I hate being out without a suit on." Haskill hastily acknowledged this, and went to work making a suit for his new 'friend', Jacob the Talking Nirnroot.
The next day, Sheogorath noticed something...odder than usual about his chamberlain. He was talking to the Nirnroot. "HASKILL!" yelled Sheogorath again. Haskill quickly appeared, holding the Nirnroot in his arms. "Haskill, why are you talking to the Nirnroot?" asked Sheogorath calmly. "Because Jacob has so many wonderful ideas, and he wears suits, look!" said Haskill with a very distant, crazy expression on his face. Sheogorath just stared for a moment, and then he grabbed Haskill by the shoulders and yelled, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE SANE! YOU'RE THE ONLY NORMAL THING I HAVE LEFT!" while shaking him.
Instead of snapping Haskill out of it, like he had hoped, instead it made Jacob the talking Nirnroot fall to the floor and get all smashed. Haskill immediately got down on his knees and wept for the passing of his beloved Nirnroot. Sheogorath really had no idea what was going on, and so just backed away into another room, leaving Haskill to grieve in silence over his beloved Nirnroot.