Was it Worth it?
Tali'Zorah awoke in the middle of the cold, dark, star studded space. She was confused, she began to notice her surroundings. On her right she saw something familiar, the Quarian Fleet, and on her left she saw the Geth fleet.
The two fleets engaged in a brutal fire fight, where each fleet opened fire to each other. Where neither of them seem to be winning.
Then, the scenery changed, now she is in Rannoch, her Homeworld. She was on a cliff, she saw someone else there, a man, a Geth, and herself.
The Geth and herself were arguing. To which the man seem to have to choose one or the other. Then, the man spoke of his decision that angered the Geth. The man sunk his head down in shame as he apologizes to the Geth, however the Geth did not take the man's decision lightly. The Geth picked up the man and began strangling him, as the man was gasping for his breath, she saw herself stab the Geth in the back, the Geth released the man and fell onto his knees. The man pulled out his gun and aimed at the Geth, he had the shot be he didn't shoot, he just stood there giving the Geth a pity look. The Geth turned his attention to Tali, to deliver his final words.
"Creator...does..this..unit..have.." it said at Tali in his final hours.
"Yes..yes it does." Tali said putting her hand upon the Geth.
Tali woke up with her body sweating and heart racing, She was panting and gasping for breath. It was only a dream, she found herself in Shepard's cabin, unmasked and undressed.
She looked beside her and noticed Shepard holding her hand and looking at her in deep concern.
"Bad dream?" Shepard asked.
"yeah." She said after a brief pause.
"you okay?" Shepard asked.
"No...no i am not." Tali said wiping a few tears away from her eyes.
"is this about Legion?" Shepard asked.
Tali froze at the sound of that name. It has only been a week since Tali killed Legion along with the entire Geth race. Legion, a figure that has changed her perspective on the Geth, but more than that, an ally, a friend, was killed in the name of the Quarian people. Was it the right thing to do? Was it worth it? Doomed an entire race so that another may prosper?
"Shepard...it...it's killing me Shepard, did i...do the right thing?"
"i know it's hard, but what's done is done, you can't change that."
"I thought i was better than this, i thought that my people and the Geth could live in harmony for once, i guess I'm no better than the reapers."
"Don't say that, you are nothing like the reapers."
"but it's true, i killed a million of them to save a million of us! I'm responsible!" said Tali as she began to cry.
"hey..hey, come here." Shepard says as he tries to comfort the whimpering Quarian.
"look at me..i know it feels horrible, but this is war Tali, we can't avoid these sacrifices, even if it does hurt."
"i know but...but i-"
"if the Geth live, do you think it would've been any better for your people."
"um...well..i don't-"
"everything worked out for the best Tali, we can't change the past."
Tali felt better but it was not enough to get rid of the pain, Shepard moved in closer for a kiss, but was politely rejected by Tali's hand that held his chest.
"no...no, I'm sorry Shepard, i need to be alone, i need to..think about this." Tali said as she quickly got out of the bed and put her Enviro-suit and her mask back on and left the cabin, leaving Shepard alone and confused.
The next morning..
Tali decided to see Dr. Chakwas for advice and made her way to the Med Bay. Along the way she sees everybody going through their usual routine. Despite of the situation they're all in, the war against the reapers. The Normandy is different than other ships Tali has served on, in times of war the aura of despair lingers through the corridors of the Quarian fleet, but in here it's different, there is no despair, only hope, and it's all because of Shepard.
She was greeted by everyone along the way. James even offered some burritos which Tali politely turned down. Then, she made it to the Med Bay, she opened the door and was immediately greeted by the doctor.
"Oh hello dear, are you here to check for signs of infection? I heard you spent the night in the Commander's quarters." She said winking at Tali.
"No, not this time, I'm here to talk about something...personal and I'd like to discuss it with you." Tali said nervously.
"Oh, of course darling, what is it?"
"I've been having these nightmares, about the Geth and...and Legion."
"what kind?"
"it's always the same doc, i keep reliving the moments, you know in.. Rannoch."
"ah, i see, the eh.. incident last week?"
"yes."
"well, i actually gotten to know Legion very well before the Commander was relieved of duty, he used to stay in the room over there remember?" Dr. Chakwas said pointing at the AI Core room.
"oh yeah, i forgot." Tali said
"it was the nicest Geth i ever met, well actually the only Geth i have ever met, it always asks me about whether or not synthetics and organics can live with each other, and it changed my perspective on the Geth, and it seems the Geth only want free will, independence, and unity with organics."
"shame they had to die trying to earn it."
"well dear, it's clear to anyone that your nightmares are caused by your guilt, you feel responsible for killing the Geth."
"But, I've killed others before, why is it different this time?" Tali asked in confusion.
"maybe you didn't think they deserve death, you did what you had to do, but it wasn't what you wanted to do." Dr. Chakwas explained.
Tali fell silent and thought about what she said.
"maybe you should give Legion a proper burial, that should provide you with some closure." Dr. Chakwas added.
"closure?" Tali asked.
"yes, think about it...and i suppose 'he' deserves it, don't you think?" Dr. Chakwas said smiling at Tali.
Tali never heard anyone call a Geth 'he', but even she knows that synthetics are no less than organics. Tali nodded and thanked the Doctor for the advice.