Inspired by the Twilight saga's "Break up scene", all characters are fictional and locations elaborated for fiction. Enjoy!
Chapter one
I'm staying up late tonight. It's only nine, but I already know this night will wash into the early hours. A few drinks might help me to forget him or a few drinks might fuel the anger burning inside against him, either way I'm in for a long night.
I head east down to the Loop, a business district of sorts with sports bars and adult entertainment. I know a local spot that don't always card and the cover charge is cheep, which is the point when you're technically underage. I park in front of several brick buildings fused together and all lit up, but I don't get out of the car right away. We have memories here, he and I. They paralyze me. We used to come here… together, drink and laugh. Our friends would meet up and… our friends? They were his friends, all of them, well… except Dani.
She is the only reason I'm even out tonight. Dani said she would set fire to my mattress if I don't get out of it. So I'm out of bed and sitting in my car sweating over what I'd lost and what I stand to loose again. I warned her that this was a bad idea, but she reassured me and then reassured me again that I will not see him at all tonight. Memories don't count.
The guy at the door was just another face. He asks for my name. I smile back at him pushing long brown curls off my bare shoulders. He stares and waits. I lean in and he is eager to listen. I thought about slipping him some absurd slutty name like Bambi or Candy, but instead I give him my middle name, "Paige" and he eagerly opens the door for me. I didn't even crack open my purse. Now I'm glad Dani picked a simple dress with its cute blackness and bold front zipper. But that surge of energy, when a man is attracted to what he sees, didn't give me that thrill like it used too. Not when I knew that this man will never have me and a better man was waiting for me, but even that's not the case anymore.
Down a few concrete steps the club expands, with low ceilings and shinny surfaces, and lots and lots of glowing LED lights stuck to the ceiling. Stage is to the right, but the work of recyclable art that makes up the bar draws me to the left. It's made out of thousands of beer bottles and all lit up too. Leaning on the galvanized metal bar with a polished mirror glow like a dim disco ball, I wait for the bartender's attention. The dace floor and stage already full, the bar is busy, and all these girls are pretty.
"What can I do for you?" The bartender asks.
I smile, tilting my head to one side. "Something smooth" I purr close to his cheek so he could hear me better. He grins and nods turning to make whatever it was he thought I wanted. He came back with a red martini with strawberries bobbing at the bottom. I thanked him with a kiss as he says those three magical words, "On the house". Dani and I had perfected the art of going out and not spending a dime. On a good night we'd even come home with a few extra bucks. But even the smooth sweetness of a free drink sours on my tongue when I spot our booth now filled with strangers.
I hate that I miss him.
Dani waved me in and I hesitate. Kim and Samantha are flirting with the table next to them. Benny and William are complaining that the music is too loud. Those are his friends, so why are they here? I look to Dani who is eagerly waiting for me to hurry up, but there is no concern, no worry, only excitement in her face. She assured me that he would not be here, so why are his friends?
I sat next to my best friend, watching the flash of lights like a pulsating creature on the gleaming table top. I took a gulp of strawberry infused alcohol.
"The cat has finally come out to play!" Rick announced my arrival walking up to our table. He leaned over Kim like a wet blanket and buried himself in her cleavage, making her squeal annoyingly. Rick is his best friend… my legs began to tremble under the living table.
He must be here if Rick is here.
Dani squealed and pulled me close in a hug that pinched the circulation from my right arm.
"I'm so happy you came and you wore my dress, you look sexy!" Dani charmed in my ear, but I was uneasy about the company she kept tonight. I took another drink.
"Sonja you came!" Samantha cheered halfheartedly raising her glass. A few followed. I was forcefully held close to Dani who switched my martini for a red tail that was just strategically sitting on the table in front of me.
"Thanks, but why did you order me a drink if you weren't sure if I was coming?" I asked.
Dani is devilishly excited, "Like you would pass up a night out with me, really Sonja?" Rick was pretending not to laugh as I sat guilty in my chair.
"She didn't show up last night." William said. Dani gave him an evil glance.
"Yeah, I haven't seen you for what, three days?" Kim added. Dani took a sip of my martini with approval.
"You told me at lunch that if Josh wasn't coming you would. So, I made sure Josh was doing… something else and here you are!" Dani mused in her own accomplishment, waving her hand in the air like shooing ghosts. The sound of his name didn't ignite my gag reflex like before, but when Samantha said her name I choked. I tried to wash it down with another drink.
"I heard he's busy with Jessa now." Samantha added. Kim laughed when Rick sat in her lap, distracting everyone for a moment.
Benny caught the end of the conversation and asked, "Where is Jessa?"
Samantha and Kim both busted out laughing. Benny has been crushing on Jessa since this summer, or so I heard from Kim. I tried like hell to keep my mouth shut, occupying it by drink.
"Mmm… spicy" I said to Dani in compliance.
"She's probably a little exposed right now." Samantha said.
"More than a little" Kim added.
"I told you it was safe to come out tonight, Sonja." Dani squeezed me back, but the uneasiness didn't settle as I would have liked. Keeping an eye on Rick, the potential spy, I took a drink and emptied the glass. Dani watched as I took back my half empty martini and downed it too.
William ordered us another round as Samantha and Kim teased.
"Since when did you dictate who could come or not?" Benny, who's mostly passive, started with me. Was it because Jessa chose to snake Josh away from me and ignored the intentions of a single man like him?
"I don't dictate crap!" I said slamming the empty glass down on the table. "I didn't even wanna come here tonight, but…" Dani squeezed my arm as Rick interrupted.
"Hey man, no one here like's Jessa for what she did, don't you get it?"
Benny grumbled in his seat, "It's not Jessa's fault, Josh is the cheater!"
"Hey man, let's not point fingers tonight. We're here to relax and have a little fun." Rick tried to calm his friend down, but Kim handed it right back to him.
"Instead of wasting your time arguing with us, why don't you try wooing her yourself," laughing with Samantha Kim said, "even though she doesn't deserve you."
"Snake" Samantha added.
"Hoe" Dani smiled.
Witch… I thought.
"Yeah Benny it's kind of pathetic." Samantha laughed.
"Pathetic!" Dani boast with amusement that ignited more laughter around the table. I watched as Benny's cheeks blossom with anger, then he dumped his beer on Samantha and shoved his chair to the floor.
Everyone shouted at him. Rick jumped up, "Hey man, be cool, their just playing!" but it was too late.
"Oh my god…" Samantha shouted with her arms flailing in the air like a baby bird trying to fly, screaming at the wet spot running down her yellow dress. "Can you believe what he did!?"
We watch as Benny storms off. Rick followed him, but came back shortly after.
Kim tried to help Samantha, but ended up running into the bathroom instead, and I finished my third glass with great success.
Benny's little performance turned into just another joke for the group. Kim asked what was wrong with him for flying off like that. Jealousy, I thought, that's what's wrong with Benny. I'm feeling it first hand too. Josh cheated on me with Jessa who Benny obviously cares for or otherwise he wouldn't have blown up from their teasing. I honestly don't think Benny is angry with me per say.
Samantha and Kim returns pouty and angry, Samantha especially. The dress will dry a little darker, but at least it wasn't her head. Her weave would've never dried as fast as her dress.
The night progressed.
They say I'm better off without him.
They say he doesn't deserve me.
They say they are here for me, my friend.
So I drink with them. I dance with them. I laugh with them. And I try, try, try to forget him… but it's Josh I see on the dance floor and it's Josh I see behind the bar. He's everywhere and nowhere for me.
I try to keep Dani entertained laughing, joking, dancing, and cheering every drink with her, but inside I'm slowly dying. I have a lot of making up to do. Without her I'd still be a heaping hot mess on my bed. Pity is an ugly sport that I'd win hands down, but right now I'm at a club with friends, and I'm starting to have fun…
I don't remember leaving the club. I don't remember Rick taking my phone when I tried calling the bas… and giving him a piece of my mind. But I do remember Dani stealing my keys after everyone decided not to hit up the show. Rocky Horror was playing at the midnight matinee, but the company who used to act out the scenes in front of the movie had long since disbanded. It wasn't as fun to go anymore. Yes, people dressed up and throw stuff at each other, but it wasn't the same.
I don't remember the ride home, but suddenly we are here and everyone is walking in. My dad doesn't like the house being called the "animal house", but he was the kind of guy that would start a volume war with the neighbors to prove that Ozzy was harder than Metallica. He usually won before the cops were called. And I find myself in the passenger seat staring at my house.
The door is wide open and every light is on in the place. The music is loud and people are everywhere. Who's party? I wondered as Dani led me by the hand as she usually did, "Like raggedy Ann and Andy," she explained. I must be Andy because she was too girly to be mistaken for a boy. I on the other hand, looked like a twelve year old boy from the back if you don't consider my long dark curls and the tendency for lip gloss.
"Hey Daddy!" Dani spotted Dave on the couch with his usual posse, playing poker with a couple of scruffy looking biker buddies. The only one I recognized was Dom, bald, bold and black. He was always happy to see us. We each gave Dom a hug before leaning on Dave, giving Dom ample opportunity to boast about his lady magnet being very affective.
"Hi girls, did you have a good time tonight?" Dave asks as Dani leaned over and stole a swig of his bottle.
"Always Daddy!" Dani chimes.
I watch as Rick, Kim and Samantha weaved through the living room to rush up the stairs. Dave pulled me in for a squeeze for good luck, but stiffened at the last second.
"Not too much darling." Dave said in his raspy southern drawl. A biker through and through with a domestic life raising three kids, a house, and a full time job all by himself now after mom died two years ago. "Everyone else is upstairs." He gave me a wink and I gave him my best captains salute before Dani pulled me to fallow the others. I walked pass the entrance of the stairs, heading for my room, but was abruptly yanked back.
"Sonja, aren't you coming?" Dani whined tugging me back by the hand like a puppy.
I nod, she pouts and lets go of my hand. But like a magician with a wave of his hand, her facade magically changed as soon as she hears the laughter billowing down the stairs. She smiles and rushes up the stairs without a second hesitation. She has to be center of attention, not missing a thing like a child.
I notice then how William is just standing there by the doorway looking my way.
"What?" I scoff. Letting his blond hair fall in front of his glasses, he laughed softly.
"You're in my way towards the washroom."
I blink and then recall slowly as my mind rolled on. "What about the one upstairs?"
He smiles lazily under the influence a few drinks himself, "Its Angelo's, would you rather I catch a disease?" I had to think about that.
"Good point."
My older brother was never one for cleaning and in med school no less. I turn and head through the messy house to my back bedroom, pass the cluttered kitchen, pass the overflowing storage boxes that fill the dinning room. I don't stop until I land on soft comfortable textures in the dark. This was my room, my sanctuary, my escape from the big bad world that lurks just outside that door. A dark purple color wraps the walls in midnight and the ceiling is painted black to serve as the velvet night sky. Several strains of twinkle lights Necole, my older sister, and I had stapled aimlessly above as stars.
I'm comfortable in the dark, preferring night over day anytime. Something about the night and the way it hides all the things I like with rich draped curtains that smother the only window of any light that allowed me to do just that. My queen size bed takes up a whole corner with a collage of reds, purple and chocolates—complements to the Home Shopping Network at four in the morning. Thank you insomnia!
But this is me, this is mine, I know where everything is. Every square inch can be traced in memory. I breathe in calm and comfort, and exhale anxiety and stress.
Sometimes I long for a time when the house would be empty; to have that feeling of being entirely comfortable in your own space. It's so liberating. I think it's the freedom of walking to the fridge in your underwear and not have anyone yell at you. But the pleasant feeling that used to greet you at the front door had been vacant since mom no longer fills these walls. Ever since then nothing and no one has ever been the same. Two years seams forever and yet not long enough.
"Are you alright?" The voice in the dark came from my door. William is waiting for an invite before entering. How polite, I think. After all these years, he is the only one who respects my sanctuary.
"Heck no" My voice is muffled in the dark.
"Do you want me to turn on the light?" He asks. I'd rather wallow in my darkness, I thought, but before I could say it, light struck brilliantly illuminating my darkness into reality.
"I can turn it off, I see just fine in the dark." William said.
I thought about it while my eyes adjusted. "No." I hiss.
Laying there with my head smothered in my hands and all I wanted was my world to be put back together with my mom alive and well, my father to stop drowning his sorrows, and for Josh to be faithful to me. But only William came to join me on the bed, lifting my feet and placing them on his lap. A comforting silence claimed the tension in me. I blame myself for what happened with Benny tonight. I knew he had a thing for Jessa. Why couldn't I just deal with all this for one night?
"You know if there is anything you want to talk about… you can talk to me. I'm the only one you know who can keep a secret." William stated.
"Bull, I'm trusty and loyal too!" I bristled from his accusation. He rolled his eyes as he began to untie my shoes, when I didn't protest he continued one by one till my argyle socks could breathe.
"I don't know Sonja? You can't even stay out of trouble for a whole month. I'm afraid I'd have to tutor you through high school behind bars just to get you to graduate!" He said with a mock expression.
I groaned, covering my head with a pillow to try and strangle my thoughts. My mind goes a mile a minute and it drives me nuts sometimes.
I'd forgotten all about the court date that was quickly approaching. It was just a stupid prank that went horribly, horribly wrong.
About a month ago Dani and I was arrested for, so embarrassing, trying to rob a gas station for a couple of Twinkies and a bottle of jack—no reason, just to do it. We wanted to know if we could pull it off. It was such a bad idea.
I didn't calculate the unmarked police car in the lot. So when I pulled out a black cap gun, you know the kind they sell at dollar shops, and threatened the young cashier another customer saw me through the doors and ran right to the owner of the unmarked car. The jig was officially up when the door opened to a man in uniform pointing a real gun in our face.
We corroborated with the police officer and lucky the gas station didn't press charges since there weren't any product loss or property damage—plus it was my first offense, but not my first arrest. I was put on a year's probation.
I shrugged it off like I just don't care, but mentally I was screaming. I certainly didn't want to start off fresh out of high school with a felony. Pushing my legal troubles aside, I thought of that scumbag Josh and Jessa strangling my heart in unison.
They make a great team.
What if Benny explodes on me when he sees me Monday? Next in line would be Dani inevitably because I haven't been spending much time with her and I just blew her off again at the stairs. Sorry, but I didn't feel like watching you flirt with my brother all night.
I hadn't realized I was screaming under a pillow until William started to rub my socked feet with gentle circular motions and distracted me for a moment. I threw the pillow off my head. The instant relief of the fresh air reached the perspiration on my forehead. I hadn't realized how warm it had gotten under there.
"Feel better?" He asked carefully.
I waited until I felt in control of myself before mustering the words. "I'm sorry William. I'm sorry bed. I didn't mean to scream at you." William laughed at me as I petted my bed.
"Stop, before you make the TV jealous." He laughed.
"Your right, I must be crazy if I'm talking to inanimate objects and apologizing to them no less."
I laughed at myself and pushed him for laughing at me, and wound up having a wrestling match on my bed. He pinned me twice when I only pinned him once, but I think he was going easy on me.
William was, for all accounts and purposes, my best guy friend. The kind of guy that you didn't have to worry about what you wore so long as it was clothes and not just a beach towel. He was a loyal friend and a comfortable shoulder to scream into and the only person who's ever seen me cry, besides Dani. I'd like to keep it that way please.
CHAPTER TWO
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