I'm so worried. Kanan, Ezra, and Ahsoka are about to go off on their mission to defeat the Inquisitors. I know why they have to, but I still get the feeling that everything will change for the worse. "Hera?" I hear a light voice from behind me. Ahsoka.
I turn, trying to wipe the worry off of my face. "Yes?" I ask.
"I know how you feel," she says. "About us going off." I raise an eyebrow. "You're worried," she continues, "About Kanan." I can tell my eyes soften at the sound of his name, and I see a flicker of a smile in her eyes. "I once felt the same way," she says. Wait, what? That was.. unexpected. I'm about to ask her what she means, when she says, "You should go talk to him. He might help ease your mind."
I feel tears well up in my eyes. Maybe not, I think. I blink my tears away, and say, "I will." She smiles.

I'm about to go up and talk to him, but he's admiring Sabine's fence. I start walking away as I hear him compliment her on the design. I walk faster, thinking. I hear footsteps coming up behind me. "Hera," the deep voice says.
I try to keep my voice level as I turn, saying, "I told the commander the site is secure, and operations can resume."
"We're going to be okay. You know that, right?" he continues, as if I had said nothing.
"You realize I know when you're lying, right?" His face falls slightly, then he looks back up at me, and looks me in the eye with an even more determined look on his face. I sigh. "Whatever you're facing, I wanted us to face it together," I say, my voice quivering.
He steps closer, and holds my shoulders in his hands. "We'll see each other again. I promise," he says, and pulls me into a hug. I hesitate, then close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder. I feel his beard brush against my cheek as he dips his head down. I tilt my head up and kiss his jaw, right where the beard starts growing. I purposefully slide my mouth up, so my upper lip catches the corner of his mouth. Then I pull away, and rest my head on his shoulder again. We stay like this for a second, never wanting the moment to end.

But then it does. I hear Ezra calling in the distance, and Kanan has to leave. "Come back to me safely," I whisper, not sure if he heard. I watch him walk away, and feel the familiar ache of worry settle in again.

We receive a five-word message. "Coming back. Need a medic." We are all terrified to find out what had happened, and yet want nothing more in the world than to know. The Phantom soared over the base, and landed inexpertly in the landing field. And I knew something was wrong.
I stare with wide eyes, the others around me, as the door to the Phantom opened. No. NO. How could this happen?
They had left with three Jedi. Two stepped out of the ship. They had left confidently, each walking fine on their own. Now, one has to support the other as they limped towards the crew. Kanan left with his eyes a bright blue-green. He returned with bandages wrapping his eyes, concealing the burnt chasm that was all that remained.
I walk forward, almost in a daze. It's amazing I don't trip. I put my hands on his face, gently run my hands over the bandage. Neither of us have to say a word. I wrap my arms around him, pull him closer. I want so badly to finish what we started when he left. But I don't. For now, just holding him is enough.
Ezra looks lost, as he and Rex exchange pained glances. Ezra still holds onto his master's sleeve, guiding himself as much as he is guiding Kanan. How could Ahsoka be gone? I think. We all think that. Our resident Jedi, or the most-trained one anyway, just.. gone?

We reach the medical bay, and I guide Kanan to sit on one of the beds. Ezra follows behind us, and sits on a different bed. For whatever reason, the medical droid starts working on Ezra first. I kneel on the floor so I'm at the same level I would be if we were standing, and look up at Kanan. If his ragged breaths are anything to go by, he's in pain. I almost smack my forehead in frustration. Of course. He just had his eyes melted out of his head. Why wouldn't he be in pain? "Kanan?" I say tentatively, rubbing his hand with my thumb.
"Mm hm?" He sounds strained.
"I'm going to change the bandages, okay?" The ones he has are getting filthy, from whatever him and Ezra did on the planet plus the trip in the Phantom, I guess.
"Mm hm," he says.
"It's probably going to hurt more," I say carefully.
He nods. "S'fine."

I reach up, carefully grab the end of the fabric, and start unwrapping. If you only listened to him, you would think he was in no pain. But one only had to look at his face to know otherwise. It contorted into a grimace every time I removed a bandage. I remove the last bandage, and see the full extent of his injury.
The flesh around his eyes is burnt, almost looking like it has melted. Between his eyes, a small chunk of flesh is missing, right where his nose would begin normally. His eyelids are burnt as well, but I can't see his actual eyes yet. "Kanan, can you open your eyes for a second?" I ask softly. He does, and I have to hold in a gasp. Their sharp blue-green color has faded to a dull green-gray. The whites of his eyes have also turned into a grey. "Oh, Kanan," I whisper, now feeling his pain. I wrap my arms around him, and feel the tears, the unshed tears I've kept in since they left for Malachor, start to bubble up.

"S'okay," he mumbles, and I feel his hand against my back, pulling me closer. I bury my face in his shoulder, and finally let out all the pain and sadness and worry that's been pent up inside me for days. I sob into his shoulder, mumbling nonsense about what's been bothering me, when of course his problems are worse than mine, and he should be the one telling me them. He strokes my back as I wear myself out, tracing patterns through my shirt as I cry. I feel myself calming down, and finally, I can string together coherent sentences again.
I pull away and wipe at my eyes, saying, "The medical droid is probably going to want to clean that up." I don't need to clarify. We both know what I'm talking about. "The antibacterial will hurt a lot more," I continue.
He nods. "I can handle it," he says.
"I can stay with you. If you want."
"Please."

I take his hand in mine again, and rub onto his hand the same patterns he traced on my back. A tiny smile is on his face the next time I look at it.
The medical droid finally finishes with Ezra. He starts walking out the door, then hesitates and looks at Kanan, as if he's about to say something. They he turns away, and walks into the hallway. The droid takes out the antiseptic, and starts applying it to the skin around Kanan's eyes. He winces, and grips my hand tighter. The process continues. Whenever a particularly large amount of antiseptic is applied, Kanan squeezes my hand, then loosens his grip slightly. In return, I reach across his shoulders and rub them with my other hand. Finally, the droid finishes, and starts putting on the new bandages. A less painful process, but it was still punctuated by winces from Kanan.

He stands, slowly, and feels uncertainly with his hand through the air in front of him. I guide his hand to my arm, and lead him out of the room. "Where are we going?" I ask.
"Mess hall," he replies. "Getting blinded makes you hungry, let me tell you." I cringe at the joke. But, if he can make quips about his injury, I should be able to accept it. Should be.
I lead him to the mess hall, as he requested. I walk slowly, making sure he doesn't trip or run into anything. Finally, we reach the hall, and I guide him to a seat near the rest of the crew. Ezra glances at Kanan, and a flicker of guilt spread across his face before he looks away.
Rex was sitting off to the side, staring off at something no one else could see. Everyone else in the hall purposefully avoided looking at him for too long. As they did to Kanan, as well. "I'll.. get you something to eat," I say. I don't know how he'll eat it, but I get up and take a bowl of food from the counter in the corner of the room.

When I come back, he's saying something quietly to Sabine, tilting his face so Ezra can't see. Ezra glances at Kanan again when he thinks I'm not looking, then gets up and leaves the room. Sabine follows him with her eyes, then says something to Kanan and gets up. I take the spot she just left, and put the food in front of Kanan. As I guide his hand to the bowl, I ask, "What did you tell her?"
"To talk to Ezra. I can sense his guilt. He'll listen to Sabine more than he'll listen to me. If I talked to him, he'd just be staring at my eyes the whole time."
"So what's she saying to him?" I realize it's hopeless for him to try to eat on his own, and pick up the spoon myself.
"She's saying," he said, pausing to eat the bite on the spoon, "it's not his fault. None of it is. He's blaming himself for what happened, when all that will do is push him away from the crew."
I nod, then remember he can't see me. "Yeah," I say quietly, watching Sabine as she leaves.