I quietly tiptoe out of the bedroom that I share with my younger sister, Ruby. She is a light sleeper, so it's best not to make too much noise. If she were to wake up in the middle of the night, it will be very hard for her to fall back to asleep on her own. And I'm not really in the mood to read to her again so she can fall asleep.
Before I close the door, I take one final look inside to make sure she is still asleep. Her silver eyes are still closed, and the red sheets over her body slowly rise and fall with every breath she takes. The only light in the room comes from the rose shaped nightlight next to Ruby's bed. She insists sleeping with it.
I shut the door behind me. It's dark in the hallway. The only noises that I can hear, is the sound of my father's loud snoring from the other room, (how Ruby has not been woken by that is beyond me), and my mother walking around downstairs, doing something.
I guess she can't sleep either. I think to myself. I start to head down the wooden staircase that leads to the living room. I don't usually wake up in the middle of the night. When I do wake up in the dead of night, I can easily fall back asleep. Tonight is a rare night, however. A rare night were my brain turns against me in my sleep.
When I get near the bottom of the stairs, I look through the railings. My mother is sitting on the couch, her legs tucked under her. Her blue, grey eyes scan the words on the pages of the book in her hand. The lamp next to her is turned on, lighting up the room. She turns a page and looks up. "Yang? What are you doing up this late?"
"I couldn't sleep." I point my chin towards the area where her and my father's bedroom is. "Did Dad's snoring keep you up?"
"That man has a loud voice even when he sleeps." I laugh through my nose. His snoring has woken me up a few times as well. He keeps saying he doesn't snore at night, even though my mother, Ruby, and I tell him otherwise.
My mother smiles, then lifts up part of her white cloak she always wears. "Want to come and sit with me?"
I nod. I finish walking down the rest of the steps so I can sit next to her. I curl up next to her, and she place some of her cloak over my body. It is nice and warm.
"What are you reading?" I ask.
"A little fantasy book." She answers. She brushes away some of her blonde hair from her face.
"Sounds like something Ruby would like."
"She sure loves her books, doesn't she?"
I scan the black print on the white pages. She's right. The words knights, dragons, castles, and anything else you can think of when you hear the word fantasy pop out of the book at me as I read. I sigh, which my mother picks up on.
"Everything okay sweetheart?" She asks, setting the book down on her lap.
"Huh? Oh. Yeah…everything's fine."
"Doesn't sound like it. Tell me what's wrong."
I sigh again. "I had a nightmare. A bad one. That's why I couldn't sleep."
"Mind if I ask what it was about?"
"You…dying…" My mother stays silent. "You were doing whatever it is you do as a huntress, and you were attacked by something." I try to think of what it was that attack my mother in my dream, in my nightmare, but all I can recall are shadows. I curl up even more against her.
"That sounds like a pretty bad nightmare." She finally says. I only nod. "Don't worry Yang. Nothing is going to happen to me."
I snap up, knocking off the part of the cloak that is covering me. "But still!" I shout at her. I can already feel my body starting to get warm. "I've heard stories of hunters and huntress not coming back from their missions! I don't want that to happen to you!"
"Hey, hey. First off, deep breath. Remember what your father said? We don't want to start any fires now, do we?"
I take a deep breath, calming down my tense body, and shake my head. "No."
"Good. Second, Yang, you're seven. You shouldn't be worrying about things like that."
She brushes away a tear on my cheek that has fallen from my lilac eyes. "But-"
"No 'buts' Yang. Nothing is going to happen to me okay? I got you, Ruby, and your father to come home too everyday. I'll make sure that I am able to see you three everyday."
I look up at her. Her blue, grey eyes are warm and loving, like they always are. I wrap my arms around her stomach, and nuzzle my head into the crook of her neck. She smells like roses.
"But what if something does happen to you? What should I do?"
She sighs, and starts to play with my blonde hair. "I guess for you too help your father take care of Ruby for me. And…" She pauses. For a good minute, all she does is play with my hair, getting out some knots, before she speaks again. "And I guess…just be a good girl, okay?"
I nod. "I'll look after Ruby. I'll make sure stays safe."
"That's my girl. You're a good big sister, you know that?"
I smile. Sleep is starting to find me again. I find it hard to keep my eyes open. I yawn.
"Seems like someone is starting falling asleep." My mother places a kiss on top of my head. "You should go back up to bed."
"A few more minutes, please? I like cuddling with you."
"Okay. Five more minutes, then it is off to bed with you."
"Okay." My eyes are already closed when she whispers something into my ears. I couldn't really hear what she says. Sleep has found me once more.
I open my eyes. I blink. Everything is dark. I can barely see. Some moonlight seeps through the curtain, giving me some ability to see into the room.
A bit confused as to where I am, I look around the room. I see Ruby sleeping on a bed, that is held up by ropes on each side, across from me. She is fast asleep. Below her is…
It takes me a moment for my brain to come back to me, and to remember that it is Weiss sleeping in the bed that is under Ruby's.
It was just a dream. I roll onto my back. How long as it been since I have dreamed of my mother? It's been a long time, I know that. And that dream, it was more than a dream. It was a memory. One of the last of her. How many weeks was it after that night did my nightmare come true?
I groan. It's too late to be thinking about that. I wipe away some tears I feel on my face and try to fall back asleep. I can't. My thoughts are everywhere.
Groaning again, I jump off of my bed. I need to clear my thoughts. Once on the ground, I take a look towards Blake's bed. She is sleeping like everyone else in the room is. Everyone else but me.
It is dark in the hallway. The moonlight that streams through the windows are the only thing that provides light for me to see. I walk through the dark halls, letting my thoughts wander. I pass some students who also can't sleep, but I don't bother to acknowledge them. I just want to alone with my thoughts. Thoughts about my mother.
I smile as I remember how she would cook breakfast for everyone all the time. I loved helping her cook. I remember all the sweet and spicy smells of foods we use to cook together. I also remember sitting with Ruby, listening to her talk about her missions and adventures. Ruby and I would always sit wide eyes as we listened to her.
I also remember the last day I saw her alive. It was a cold day, colder than I could ever remember. I never get cold. But that day I did; one reason why I remember it. Because that night I got cold.
It was also snowing a bit. Much like it is now. It was small, little flakes and it softly covered the ground. My mother was getting ready to go out for the day. I was still eating one of the cheese biscuits she had just made. It was still warm and gooey as I ate it.
I'm going out to do somethings.
Huntress things?
Yang, don't talk with your mouth full. Your not three anymore, you're seven.
Seven and a half!
Okay, seven and a half. And yes, I'm going to go do huntress things. Take care of Ruby for me, will you? You're father is busy doing a few things. I already said goodbye to her, but I think she is getting a cold.
I will!
Good girl. I remember after she said that, she ruffled up my hair and gave me a kiss.
I'll be back soon, okay?
Okay.
Love you Yang.
Love you too mom.
And that was that. She left. Disappeared into the cold day, and never came back alive. I still can't remember the moment I was told she was gone without risking crying.
Something touches my bare shoulder. It is a cold hand that touches me. I jump in shock at the coldness, and spin on my heels to face who just touched me. It's Blake. Her amber eyes still have some sleep in them, and her black hair is still messy from her pillow. I sigh in relief. "You nearly have me a heart attack. I should put bells around your ankles so I know when you are coming up behind me."
Blake narrows her eyes. "Don't. And sorry for scaring you. I heard you get up, and I wanted to see if everything was okay. I was calling your name, but you weren't answering. You looked really deep in thought."
"You did? Huh. Yeah, I was in deep thought."
"What were you thinking of, if you don't mind me asking."
"My mother." I whisper. I don't why I whispered it.
"Your mother? I never heard you talk about her before. Actually, I never really heard Ruby talk about her mother either. Only her father. Same with you."
"That's because our mother died, a long time ago." I sit down on the red carpeted floor, my back against the wall. "Ten years to be exact."
Blake sits down next to me. "That's a long time."
I have my legs pulled up to my chest, and my arms wrapped around them. "Yeah, it is. I dreamed of her tonight. I haven't dreamed of her in a long time. But," I look out the window. The snow is still falling, and the moon still shining through the thin clouds. "This weather kind of reminds me of the day…"
"The day she died?"
"Yeah…" We sit in silence. A couple of students pass us. I am about to get lost in my thoughts again when Blake speaks.
"Was she nice?"
"She was wonderful, Blake. Where do I start. Here name was 'Summer Rose' and she use to make wonderful food. I would help her out a lot with that. She also told Ruby and I stories of what she did as a huntress, and she always would encourage us to do things. When we told her that we wanted to be like her, a huntress, she never said no, or that it was too dangerous. She saw that we really wanted to be huntress, so she never told is that we couldn't be one."
"That's pretty neat that she encouraged you two. A lot of parents wouldn't be as happy know that their child wants to do something so dangerous. What did she look like?"
"Tallish. She had blonde hair, much like mine, but she kept it short, almost to her shoulders. And she had very bright and warm blue, grey eyes. Kind of like Ruby's, but not completely that silver of a color."
Blake stays quiet. At first I think she maybe has fallen back asleep, but I turn to see that she is thinking. Finally, she says "Is that why you always go crazy when someone touches your hair? Because it reminds you of your mother?"
She knows me too well. "Yeah."
"Do you miss her?"
"Of course I do!" I snap at Blake. She is taken aback, and so am I. I never have snapped at her before. "Sorry." I mumble.
"You don't have to be."
"No, I am. I just…" I sigh and close my eyes. "Ruby was much more devastated, being younger than me when it happened and she was always more of the mama's girl. I just never really talked about my feeling about it, because I have always been more focused on Ruby's well being."
I feel Blake's fingers rub against my cheek. I open my eyes to look at her. I can see some some water droplets on her skin. Tears? I was crying? I put my hand on my other cheek. It's wet.
"You know it's okay to let your emotions out. I always see you hold them in, for Ruby. Whenever the two of you are in a bad mood at the same time, I see you putting your feelings to the side to make Ruby happy. I'm not saying that is really a bad thing, but it's not good either to hold in all those emotions. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be sad."
I look at her. She is still wiping away some of my tears that are still somehow coming out of my eyes. Her eyes are warm and loving, just like my mother's. I sniff before burying my face into Blake's shoulder. I wrap my arms around her, while she does the same.
"I just…" I sigh. I can feel some more tears coming down my face now. "I just, every time I remember that day, I just…"
Blake is rubbing my back "You want to talk about it? It might make you feel better."
I nod. Maybe it will makes feel better. I've never have told anyone about it, so maybe Blake is right. I remove my head from her shoulder. I use my arm to wipe away some of my tears. "It was cold, and snowing, much like tonight." I rest my head on the window so I can look out it. My breath fogs up the window as I retell Blake about that day.
It is late. Too late. My mother was always home by dinner. And if she couldn't make it, she would find a way to tell my father. It's dinner, and there has been no signs of her.
I watch from my seat in the dinning room as my father paces back and forth in the living room. His black, red hair covers his purple eyes. I don't need to see them to know that there is worriment in them.
"Yang?" Ruby says.
I turn my head towards her. She is sitting across the table from me, her red cloak, which is way too big for her, is wrapped around her body. She hasn't eaten any of the food on her plate. Neither have I. Our father quickly made us some chicken nuggets to crave our appetite till our mother came home. But I have none, and I guess Ruby doesn't have one either.
"Yes Ruby?" I say back.
She pokes a piece of chicken with her fork. "Do you know where mom is?"
"No Ruby, I don't."
She sniffs. Mom was right about her getting a cold. Our father walks in.
"Not hungry?" He says. Ruby and I both shake out heads 'no'.
"Well, try and eat something I'm sure once your mother comes home, she will be happy that you have eaten already."
I am about to say something, when Dad's scroll beeps. He looks at it
"Is that about mom?!" Ruby exclaims, nearly jumping out of her seat.
"Stay here. I'll be right back" He runs into his study, and locks the door.
"Is that about mom?" Ruby says again.
"I don't know." I jump off of my seat.
"Where are you going?"
"To see what that message says. Stay here."
"But I want to come too!" Ruby whines.
"No Ruby. I'm going outside by his window. I don't want to make too much noise. I'll be right back, and I'll tell you what I found out, okay?"
Ruby pouts. I know she will not argue with me. So I am not surprise when she sighs out "Okay."
I walk outside. Its cold, and I shiver. I've never have really been cold in winter, till now that is I put my orange scarf over my mouth and nose and walk towards my father's window. The snow that is on the ground crunches under my feet. I do my best to make the crunching sound as quiet as possible.
The window to his study is on the side of the house. I walk up too it. I duck down below the window, so he will not see me. I hear him moving about.
Sucking in the cold, frigid air, I peer into the room, hoping that he is not looking out it. He's not. He is still looking at the scroll. I can't read all of the message he has received, but I pick up on a few words. The message is from my Uncle Qrow, and someone else, who's name starts with O. I also see my mother's name. But one word burns into my mind. Gone. Just by the look of shock in my father's face says it all. My mother is not coming back.
"Did you tell Ruby?" Blake asks me.
I sigh. "My father caught me looking in. He didn't say anything. He just opened the window and helped me climb inside. He knew I knew, and we walked back into the dining room. Ruby was gnawing on a nugget when she saw us. My father told her. It took her awhile to get what was going on, but…she was a mess once she found out."
I'm surprised by the fact I was able to tell Blake the story without bursting into tears. I still can feel them coming down my face though.
"What about you?"
"I was also a mess, I guess I can't really quite remember how I felt in that moment. But like I said, I was much more concerned for Ruby." I pull my face away from the window. It is all foggy from my breath. "After all that stuff you do when someone dies, I started to try and take on some of the roles my mother did. I helped my father cooked, and later I started to cook by myself. I read a lot more to Ruby, and I made sure she was doing the things she was suppose to be doing."
"You took on a big role, didn't you."
" I did." I rest my head on her shoulder. All this talk and crying and thinking is making me tired.
"Have you ever told anyone about how you felt?" Blake asks me.
"Not really." I push away some of her jet black hair that has gotten in my eyes. "You're the first person I really have told all this too."
"Do you feel better that you did?"
I nod.
"Good. Feeling up to going back to the dorms? You look like you might pass out soon."
"I would like that."
She helps me to my feet. We walk down the hallway and back to the dorm. Once back inside, Blake lays down on her bed, and gestures for me to join her. I do. I lay down next to her.
"Thank for listing to me." I tell her and give her a small little kiss on the nose.
"Not a problem." Blake answers. She also gives me a small kiss on the nose. "Go to bed, you need it."
I snuggle in closer to her, places my chin on her head, being careful not to hit her bow she always sleeps with, and close my eyes. I don't fall asleep right away. Even with Blake holding me, and me holding her, it takes me awhile to fall asleep. Once sleep does take me back under, I dream of my mother again. I'm in the kitchen with her, helping her bake cookies for Ruby. I smile as I help her.
Good job Yang. You are a great little helper!
I love helping you! I love cooking!
I know you do. Hey! Don't lick all that batter off the spoon!
But you said I could!
That's too much batter. You'll make yourself sick if you eat too much raw cookie dough.
One more lick?
Fine. One more like. What am I going to do with you?
Let me eat more batter?
Ugh…Yang…
The dream also offers me what my mother said to me, all those nights again.
I'm proud of both you and your sister never forget that. I love you both. Never forget that. I love you and I'm proud of you, no matter what.
