A/N: So this is just a one-shot about Jesse and Quinn. It's mostly a flashback that's set around the time of "Dream On" while the part in italics is set post "Funk". I was just always a little disappointed that there was no real interaction between Jesse and any members of the Glee club other than Rachel, so I wrote this.
Jesse said they had never accepted him in Glee but that wasn't quite true. At least not always. He remembers, in fact, a very specific conversation with one Glee clubber that felt a whole lot like acceptance, or even more. But he doesn't want to think of it, because making the choice of going back to Vocal Adrenaline was already hard enough when it was just about leaving Rachel behind. It's totally unnecessary to think of it as leaving a friend behind…
He can't keep it together anymore. In fact he's thisclose to running out of that damned room like a crying little girl. But he's Jesse St. James for God's sake and he's got more dignity than that (right now, in a couple of minutes that might change…) so he takes the initiative and quickly asks for a small break to catch some fresh air. Mr. Schuester is alright with that but also asks everyone else whether they need a short pause as well. They don't though and seem quite intent on keeping rehearsing (And for a reason, it's not long till Regionals, and from what Jesse can tell there's no way in hell they'll beat Vocal Adrenaline, when he's back with them. That's the plan after all…) so he just goes out alone. Which is more than fine with him since he doesn't really need those Glee kids seeing him let out his anger. And that he needs to do if he doesn't want to risk exploding.
So he strides quickly and without really looking in the direction of the parking lot. His thoughts are everywhere but on where's walking until he bumps into someone. "Ouch", he hears the person protesting loudly and lifts his eyes from where they were previously (the floor) to the speaker. His eyes meet with the green/blue ones of Quinn Fabray. Right, he remembers that she had gone to the bathroom just a couple of minutes ago. Unlike him she didn't have to ask before leaving the room. She had to pee like all the time.
"So", she asks, hands on her hips and quite an attitude in her voice, "Are you just going to stand here and stare at me or will you actually apologize?"
"What? Oh, I mean I'm sorry, I guess I just wasn't really looking where I was going…"he says slightly confused.
"It's alright", she mumbles and then more friendly than before, but also with a hint of sarcasm:"Are we taking a break or did you just have enough of us inferior Glee clubbers?"
He doesn't react to the implication and just says: "No, it's just me taking a break. I needed some air which is why I am going out right now. "And he starts walking away from her, because really, he won't be able to control his anger much longer.
But he doesn't get very far before she's calling after him. "You know I get it" she says and he thinks what the hell? but only answers: "I've got no clue what you're talking about so I'll just go outside."
But she's obviously not done: "It gets a bit too much sometimes, doesn't it?"
He's really not sure where she's going with this and right now he has no nerve for this kind of conversation (he's not sure he'll ever have it) so he decides to go with the rude response in the hope of blowing her off with it. "Yeah, you and your oh-so special friends can get seriously annoying" he says and starts walking away again.
Apparently she isn't that easily insulted, because she calls "That's not what I meant and you perfectly know it." after him. Now, he's a little bit intrigued. He didn't expect her to have that much of a backbone (Not that he could really expect anything, because he barely knows her.).
And so he turns around and faces the blond knocked-up ex-cheerleader. (The three last words sump up everything he knows about her. He used to think that's more than enough but maybe, he realizes, it's not.) "What do you mean?" he asks, testing whether she's just messing with him or actually has something to say.
"Do we really have to play this game; you know what I'm talking about."
He's pretty sure he does but for all he knows she could be bluffing and he doesn't want to risk to expose himself to someone he barely knows and could do who knows what with the knowledge she gained from him (he's not to big in the trust department). So he remains indifferent, saying"Why don't you tell me?"
She seems to get a bit angry and then sighs. "You can tell me, you know, I get it."
Now, that's getting interesting. Why would she understand what he's feeling right know? "I doubt that", he tells her.
That really seems to make her angry. Her face scrunches, she's looking at him with plenty of anger in her eyes (which is actually rather scary, that girl has a mean look) and almost stomps her foot (which is rather funny and less scary, but he refrains from laughing because there's still that look…). She sighs again and then tells him, in a very low and angry voice. "Because I've been there. I used to date Finn after all and it was no different with those two back then, probably even worse. So don't tell me I don't understand."
He's stunned. This whole conversation suddenly makes much more sense and he's actually a bit ashamed because he's not thought of her feelings here at all. He's unsure what to say though, so he stays silent which turns out to be no good idea, because she interprets this as a sign that there's no sense in talking to him and starts to leave. Which luckily shakes him out of his reverie. "Hey", he says. "Don't go. I... I'm sorry. For acting like such a jerk. I really didn't realize you'd understand what it feels like, you know seeing them. "
"Nobody does, really. I just…, it was kind of bad for me back then, and I thought because I can relate, you now, it could help you to talk with me, but that was a really stupid idea, so I better go…" she replies, dejectedly.
"No, don't. Look, I just wasn't thinking because I'm really angry from seeing them. I mean seriously? Could they be any less obvious? The way they stare at each other when they dance or sing and this intensity… it makes me furious." he tells her.
"Yeah, it's pretty bad isn't it? And what I totally don't get is why on earth Mr. Schue thinks it's such a good idea to always pair them up. It's not like the rest of us can't sing or anything", Quinn agrees.
"You see that too? Gosh, I'm so glad, because I felt like maybe I was imagining things. I have a tendency to get jealous…"
"No way, I never would've thought that of you…" she says ironically. He chuckles. "What?" "It's just that people usually don't tell me stuff like that in my face." "Well they should, it would do wonders to your ego."
"Hey", he says, in mock injury. "That's all totally justified. I mean, come on, I'm a fantastic singer and performer, I'm dedicated, ambitious and I work hard, and my looks don't hurt either. I'm pretty great and totally worthy of singing the lead with my girlfriend!" he states angrily.
"Oh, yeah, be careful, your ego takes so much room, it's suffocating me.", Quinn says laughing, but he knows she gets it. It totally sucks seeing the person you like (love, he doesn't know about that because it's complicated, he's got a mission to fulfill and can't get in too deep, but it's a pretty strong "like" and he fears it's actually too strong already) acting like that with someone else.
He sighs and leans his left arm against the wall while Quinn lets her back sink against it and subconsciously puts a hand on her stomach. "I just feel like I'm not enough or really just second best, you know?" he tells her after a while. "And I'm not second best."
This time she keeps from mocking his arrogance and just nods. "Yeah, I know how that feels. It's like when they perform together, there's no space for anybody else and it makes you feel horrible and left out. But you shouldn't worry."
"No, why would I, because from what I've learned it worked out so well for you and Finn." he tells her bluntly.
"But that was different. Finn stayed with me out of obligation and once he found out the baby wasn't his, he was free from that obligation and could leave. But Rachel isn't with you out of some obligation. She choose you and you should suck it up and accept that she has some onstage chemistry with a guy she used to like." she explains.
Jesse thinks about that. She's kind of right, but still…"It's still awkward to watch my girlfriend look at another guy that way, you know, she's supposed to look that way only at me."
"Of course it sucks. But you could always confront her." "Yeah right", he says raising his eyebrows. "I'm sure that's what you did." Quinn looks at the floor. "No, of course I didn't, I was afraid he might…" "… not choose you", he finishes her sentence.
"I get that. Those looks, I can probably deal with, but at least I know that at the end of the day she's with me. I don't want to risk losing her. I just get so angry sometimes because I have to watch them and there's nothing I can do."
Quinn gives him an understanding look. But then her expression changes. "You know, what I don't get is, why do you care so much. I mean you're a senior, she's a sophomore, and when you've collected enough Intel to destroy us you're going to go back to Vocal Adrenaline anyway and break Rachel's heart, so what's the big deal?", she suddenly asks him.
He's stunned and wonders how much of this is pure speculation. To get time to thinks he rebuffs her:"Why would you think that?"
"Oh come on", she scoffs, "that whole instant connection in a local music store made me suspicious from the start."
"Well, I don't have any of these intentions, whether you believe me or not, but what I can tell you, is that I really care about Rachel." And he looks at her in such a sincere way that she can't help but believe him. But she also knows that just because he actually likes Rachel, that doesn't mean he won't destroy the Glee club anyway. So she gives him a warning:
"I believe you, in regards to Rachel, because I get your situation. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to be careful. And you'd better watch out, because if you try to destroy the only thing that's making me happy these days, you have another thing coming, and not just from me." "Duly noted", he says.
They stay silent for a while, until Quinn lets out a small "Ow". He looks at her questioningly. "It's just my feet. Damn this pregnancy, they're so awfully swollen lately" she explains. "Well, I'm sorry, but that's something I cannot relate to", he tells her, which makes her giggle a little.
"You know, you're not a bad guy, Jesse. And if you really have no ulterior motives, then maybe you should consider that you deserve someone who's worthy of you, someone who likes you just as much as you like them." That makes him feel bad, because he knows is not deserving of this in any way, even if he wished he was. But, he realizes, she is, and he also knows that she doesn't think so, because she lets people give her crap all the time, as if she thinks she deserved it.
So he tells her:"That goes for you too, you know. You weren't fair to Finn, but you still didn't deserve being treated like that. You should find someone who loves you back, too." He's surprised about how sincere he is, a rare thing for him, as a professional actor, and the effects of this sincerity are equally positive. Quinn gives him a smile, a quite radiant one, he realizes, and says:"Maybe, I have…" without elaborating further, but that's not necessary because he's pretty sure she's talking about that Puck guy, the father of her baby.
"So" she says "I'm going back in. And you?" "Actually, so will I. I planned on punching something outside, but talking to you helped me enough, so there's no need for that any longer. Thank you." "You're welcome."
And so they walk back into the choir room. Rachel and Finn are still circling each other and sing some sickly sweet love song. But when he feels like he can't bear this any longer, he looks at Quinn who sits next to Puck and gives him a reassuring smile and somehow it's alright. Then, rehearsal is finally over and Rachel comes to him, tucks her arm under his and they walk away together. It's the end of they and she's with him. That's all that really counts right now.
Of course he screws it up, but he knew that from the beginning. And damn, it hurts looking in Rachel's face when he's performing with Vocal Adrenaline in their auditorium and it's even worse when he does that horrible thing with the egg to her, but the single worst thing is looking in Quinn's eyes. There's no hurt in them, just disappointment. It's like she says:"I knew it but is wish I'd been wrong." And that stings because in that huge mess that the last weeks were he has trouble telling what was real and what was fake, but that conversation with Quinn is one of the few thing he knows were real. So he concentrates on Regionals. He knows he's pretty much the biggest douche on earth right now, but he's expected that from the moment on he accepted Shelby's proposition. What he didn't count on was feeling so bad about it. And gaining a friend on the way just to lose her directly afterwards.
A/N: So to understand this, I was trying to explore how Jesse would feel like watching Finn and Rachel performing together the way they usually do. It's not something he would like, but something Quinn can relate to because she was in the same position. So I've got no clue whether it's in character, but I just wanted to establish some link between Jesse and someone from the Glee club, and that's what I thought of. Hope you liked it, please Read and Review!