If I were David Fincher or Aaron Sorkin I wouldn't be sitting here writing fanfiction. You're about to read the best crack fiction ever okay, so read and review. This is definitely only gonna have one short concluding chapter after this so you don't have to worry about a long wait. Enjoy x

The make-shift-office-that-was-really-a-house was strangely quiet, except for the discreet clicking sounds coming from Mark Zuckerberg's Sony VAIO laptop. Though his aqua coloured eyes were fixed on the bright screen, Mark's thoughts were elsewhere.

He'd done it. He'd come to California.

It'd been about a week now and he was finally in the place Sean Parker had said he should come; and it'd been great. Sean, however, had stopped texting him. All the flirty messages he had received were cute at first, but had gotten pretty annoying pretty quickly, so he wasn't complaining. He smiled, despite himself: Sean, Founder of Napster, Parker was obsessed with him.

Suddenly a slick sheet of rain was falling against the glass doors that led out to the pool, wiping the grin off his face. Shit, he thought. It was as if some higher power was trying to remind him that he still had loads of work to do. Which he did. All the interns he'd hired had become considerably lazy in the past few days, but Mark just assumed they were jealous of all the attention he had been getting from Sean. Was it him, or was everyone homosexually inclined nowadays? He knew half of them had girlfriends – okay, maybe only two – but that wouldn't make an excuse for poor working quality. This was a job.

A shockingly loud crack of thunder sounded outside, followed by a shockingly bright flash of lightening, and, to his surprise, the clear sound of a doorbell. His doorbell. As much as he was enjoying the attention, he really hoped it wasn't Sean, but at the same time could not understand why it would be. Then who was it?

It took him two swift movements and in the next, he had gotten his PC charger. He made a perfectly circular shape with the string as if to form some sort of lasso – no, wait, maybe a slingshot – and crept towards the door. He didn't even admit it to himself mentally but he was terrified: it could be a medieval troll or a dentist or even Harvard's lunch lady. Was it even a lady?

Mark threw open the door and screamed – a surprisingly low pitched scream – as he was backing into the house as if by force. But no, he wasn't, but he might as well have been. His best friend Eduardo Saverin was walking towards him at such a speed that he didn't have a choice but to retreat; and his face was still nothing less than handsome. And Mark hated that.

"Wardo, what are you doing here?" he murmured, slightly fearfully.

"Why haven't you called me? Why is it that the only call I've gotten from you so far is for some more money? Why is it I even agreed to you coming here? Why did I agree to letting you ruin this company?" Eduardo seemed to have finished shouting and had stepped away from Mark a little, forcing his hands into his smooth brown hair, in a calming manner. He closed his eyes and looked back to the door.

"'Why did you agree to letting me ruin this company?'"he spluttered. "Um, excuse me but I have no idea as to what you could possibly be talking about and I think I need a better explanation than that," Mark finished. Eduardo laughed in utter disbelief.

"Explanation. Right. Well how about you come on a flight with me back to New York before any real damage is done."

Mark was silently becoming more infuriated. "You mean you don't think I'm doing a good job? You told me I was doing a good job! You told me Sean was right – I was right – about moving out here!"

"Well by all means, forgive me, because I made a big mistake. And you are too, so listen to me for once, and let's go back home and re-think this."

Was he being serious?

"No. No! I've been here for barely two weeks and you want me to give it all up and go back? I know what's best for the company and – "

"What's best for the company? Oh my God, look at us. The company, Mark? The company? Is that really the problem here? Look at the bigger picture. Look what's happening to us, since we started talking advice from Sean Napster."

"Parker."

"Whatever!" he paused for a moment. "Just listen to me, because I know what's good for the both of us and it's not here wasting more and more money in California! It's not Sean Parker!"

"You know? You know?" he scoffed back at his friend. "Fuck you, Eduardo! Fuck you!" and with that, he pushed him back and his face contorted as if he had hit some imaginary brick wall. He looked completely beside himself now. And yet still, his god-damned good looks were inevitably still there, mocking Mark and making him feel, as always, inferior to his best friend.

But something suddenly sparked deep inside him and before he could stop himself, his tongue, seeming to have grown a mind of it's own, left his mouth and hit Eduardo's in what he later secretly hoped was flirtatious grace. He was kissing him, hard, and recklessly and he was holding his partner's face in his hands just so that he couldn't physically protest and it must have worked; Eduardo had bit Mark's lower lip in such a way that they both knew they liked what was happening. Just to be sure, he pulled away to see what sort of expression was on the other's face only to find that he still couldn't clearly see it; In the time that Mark had pulled away, Eduardo had began kissing his neck, causing him to reluctantly let out hushed moaning noises and forced him off of him and they both broke away, panting.

Mark was engulfed into a breath-taking moment where he and Eduardo's eyes had finally met and both seemed to be searching for answers as to why and what had just happened.

"Wardo, we can't. There are people upstairs. Interns!" he told him, feigning a business like tone, and then whispered, "They're underage."

Eduardo looked flustered, but happy, and nodded and grabbed Mark's hand leading him to the door. Mark laughed as he got to the door, Wardo shielding his head for him (it was still raining fairly heavy) and saw that what was evidently his taxi driver still there waiting for him. He'd obviously expected Mark to agree quickly and leave with him back to the airport. But a question abruptly settled in his mind sending tingles through his body.

Or, had Eduardo been expecting this?