Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Code Geass featured herein.
This is mostly just introspection based on the final scenes of episode 25 of R2 ( the big finale I'm still reeling from). Major spoilers for that episode. Mostly Suzaku-centric.
This was intended to have a shounen-ai slant, but that fell through as I thought it would feel unnecessary and tacked on. So, read into it as you will, but the Suzaku-Lelouch relationship is mostly cannon-based for this story. (Next time, I promise, there will be some boy-kissing.)
Enjoy the story.
Memories of Innocence
The road was lined with spectators like a festival parade. Only minutes before few would have mistaken the sombre crowd for cheerful party-goers. Now, the main highlight of the day turning out as it had, it seemed there would be a celebration after all. The citizens of Tokyo (no longer a mere settlement of Elevens referred to as 'Towkyow' by uncultured conquerors) bravely ran to their chained saviours and set them free, crying and laughing and hugging the few Black Knights left who were ready to commit their final act of defiance in order to save their dearest comrades. The whole nation of Japan — perhaps even the whole world — cheered, their voices deafening the relatively small strip of road that was the scene of the fall of The Demon Tyrant.
Kururugi Suzaku could not hear the joy of Japan; only the despairing wail of his almost-sister breeched the cracks of the mask he wore. Nunnally vi Britannia screamed but Suzaku could not soothe her. He doubted that he would ever be able to heal this hurt; he wasn't sure he could heal the same affliction that had wounded him as well.
The body of Lelouch vi Britannia, 99th Emperor of Britannia, was held clutched to the chest of the one in his life he proclaimed most dear. His sharp and unearthly eyes were closed to the scene around him, his ears deaf to the sobs of his sister. His blood stained the pristine float that served as his throne and all who looked upon it thought it a fitting symbol for the reign of violent suppression Lelouch inflicted upon the world.
Suzaku only saw the body of his dearest friend lying limp in a pool of blood; the death caused by Suzaku's own hand. He looked down upon his actions — with all the true knowledge of Emperor Lelouch's actions carousing through his mind — and wondered how he was supposed to live with this death upon his conscience.
Suzaku's hands were soaked in the blood of thousands, forever stained by that first life he'd taken — his own father — and since doomed never to be clean. Yet of all the deaths, this was the one he honestly believed he could never atone for. Even if Euphemia herself returned to absolve him — as she had once done before with her mere pure presence and hopeful dreams — Suzaku knew he could never accept it. Everything he'd done in his life had led him to this moment, this final betrayal and unforgivable act.
And Lelouch had smiled and thanked him before apologising.
"This is only the beginning of your hardships. But I would trust no one else with this. Live, Suzaku. Live and fight and protect and serve. Perhaps some day you will forgive me. And … I hope … that you won't forget me. I won't order that, I just ask as … a friend. My final wish that I entrust to you, my most trusted and true Knight."
So Suzaku would endure, for Lelouch who could not witness the fulfilment of his own dreams — could not realise the success of his final gamble and see his idealism become reality as he had promised the world. Suzaku would become Nunnally's Knight as Lelouch had always wished, filling a position he had always held even had Lelouch not have asked. Suzaku would take the role as protector of justice. Suzaku would let the world recreate itself; he would let the world dream and grow and become what it should have always been now that it was unfettered. Suzaku would …
It was only as Nunnally's piercing cries deadened to heartbroken sobs that Suzaku could hear the chant of "Zero!" calling for him. That single word — his name — finally broke the restraints he'd locked tight around his emotions. A single sob echoed in his ears and, with the sharp inhale of breath it took, he noticed the tears saturating his face and dripping onto the inside of Lelouch's mask.
Looking down at Lelouch's body through the film of tears and the tinted mask, Suzaku finally understood Lelouch completely.
Zero would become the people's champion. Zero would stand up and cry "Justice!" Zero would help the world back to its feet and witness its glorious rebirth. Zero would effortlessly shoulder the burden of leadership. Zero would sacrifice friends and family and countless others for the sake of righteousness. Zero would do all of this and gladly because Zero understood all that was at stake and could carry out this work regardless of the personal consequences.
Suzaku would mourn and remember and love.
While Zero's mask would wash away all blood spilled upon its surface, Suzaku's tears would stain the inside — further embedding the mark Lelouch only began to create in remembrance of all things lost.
In taking away everything by handing Suzaku this mask, Lelouch had also given Suzaku the most precious thing he could: himself.
Kururugi Suzaku, Knight and champion of Britannia, was dead.
Zero, symbol of peace, would live forever.
Suzaku, Lelouch's friend and eternal companion would live to see his dreams fulfilled by the one person he thought had taken them away. He would live and love and laugh again. And he would die with a smile upon his face knowing he would see those he lost and greet them with his head held high.
Zero stood triumphant over the body of the tyrant who embodied all that was wrong and hated in the world.
Suzaku mourned a friend and whispered words of thanks and love and promised to never forget Lelouch Lamperouge.