DISCLAIMER: Funnily enough, I don't own Bones. If only…
A/N: Thank you to everyone's fantastic response to my first effort at Bones fanfic, One Day. This is a companion piece that shows Brennan's POV of the same events and conversation. Please let me know what you think cos I'm still not all that sure what I'm doing, mainly because I've still not finished watching the first series!
And a thousand thank yous to Ava for all the encouragement. Look, I got the line in there! Now I just gotta finish The Things That Men Do for you!
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Doctor Temperance Brennan was stood in the centre of her office, staring into space as she clutched a stack of files to her chest. Her whole body seemed heavy and every movement laboured, almost as if she was stuck in a huge vat of syrup. She hated being this tired. It restricted her.
A purposeful cough from the doorway snapped her back to reality. She turned, finding her partner, Seeley Booth, leaning against the frame. He looked so casual with an air of nonchalance but she knew better. Their latest case had drained him and it got to her too.
He smiled at her, full of charm but with a genuine look of concern in his eyes.
"Hey. You ok?"
Brennan smiled back, though she knew he wasn't buying it. She crossed over to her desk, sorting through her files and pretending she couldn't feel his gaze on her back.
"Temperance?"
She felt a shiver run down her spine when he used her first name, same as it always did. She cursed him for his charm and his soothing manner and his kind words. Steeling herself, Brennan swallowed hard as she turned to face him, surprised to find him standing so close. She could smell the familiar aftershave and, despite everything that had happened over the past few days and against all her better judgement, she felt comforted.
She smiled briskly.
"You ready to go?"
Booth nodded, that look of concern never leaving his eyes. She gathered her things and he stepped out of her way, his hand on the small of her back as he guided her out the door. No pressure, just chivalry. Brennan sighed to herself. Same as always.
Walking through the lab, Brennan glanced up at the forensics area and her stomach flipped. For days she had stood there examining the bones of those four little girls, trying to figure out how and why someone could ever do that.
They may have caught the guy now but she still didn't understand. She hated psychology, considering it a soft science, but the more she saw working with Booth, the more often she caught herself asking why.
The gentle touch of his hand on her back kept her moving. She glanced at his profile. Brennan could not deny that he was handsome as she recalled every detail of the architecture of his face without even looking. But he was her partner. They were colleagues who had grown to become friends, but that was as far as their relationship went.
Clambering in to Booth's SUV, she settled herself in to the passenger seat and stared out of the window. She did not see the city racing by, she didn't feel the chill of the night air. She left the vehicle almost in a daze, her feet carrying her home without her even thinking about it.
Brennan could feel Booth's presence beside her. He was always beside her. She sighed heavily, turning her tired eyes to her partner as she opened the door and stood on the threshold.
He reached out to her then and her heart skipped a beat as she felt the warmth of his hand against her cheek. It was only when he withdrew that she realised he'd been wiping away a tear. She turned away, embarrassed, wishing she had the strength to let him be there to wipe away all her tears. She rolled her eyes to herself at the sentiment.
"Do you want some company?"
Her cheeks burning, she attempted a feeble smile to fend off any more tears.
"No, it's ok. I think I'm just going to go straight to bed."
Brennan cursed herself for her automatic response, another part of the walls she had built around herself. While it was true she desperately needed sleep, she needed company more. And then he smiled at her, that broad caring smile, and she hated the fact she needed him. And she hated the fact that even now she was holding him at a distance. She felt his name rising in her throat, felt the urge to pull him close and let him hold her, let him protect her.
But then he turned away and the spell was broken.
"Seeley?"
That voice wasn't hers. It was small and fragile. She bit her tongue. He turned to face her.
"Yes Temperance?"
She didn't know what to say. He so rarely called her by her first name, nor she his. She sighed.
"Thank you."
All Brennan could ever say was in those two little words. She closed the door almost immediately, not wanting to see the look on his face. She heard his footsteps get quieter, the roar of an engine in the night. Only when she was sure he was gone did she let herself cry.
She sank to the floor, still at her front door. Those little girls. Those poor little girls. She couldn't save them, just like she could never save her mother. Even Booth couldn't save them, even though he always managed to rescue her. She shook her head fervently, trying to rid herself of these irrational thoughts.
First and foremost, she was a scientist. She had to stick to the facts and cold hard truths or her whole world would fall apart. Brennan scrambled to her feet and marched in to the kitchen.
Brennan's hand hovered over the fridge handle and she told herself off for another irrational fear. Even so, it wasn't until she'd removed the beer and closed the fridge door again that her muscles relaxed.
Knocking back a long hard swig of alcohol, she settled herself on the couch, her legs wrapped beneath her. She picked the label off the bottle absentmindedly, staring at nothing.
In her mind's eye though, she was looking down at the examination table, conducting a closer inspection of the little girl's remains. The bizarre markings on her bones, the radial fracture of the wrists, the broken fingers. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she had been tortured. Zach had concurred with her findings and she'd noted more things down in her report.
But then Brennan had looked at Booth. He'd been listening to her findings, watching her intently as he always did when she worked. She used to hate the way he did that but things had changed. A lot of things had changed.
Looking at Booth, she had seen the horror in his pallid face, the anger and frustration in his eyes. She had always been the brain and he'd been the heart, but seeing his anguish… She had swallowed hard, allowing her brain to process that the tiny pile of bones between them was once that little girl Angela had created, all blonde pigtails, dimples and floaty pink dress.
Brennan had returned her gaze to Booth then, praying he wasn't seeing Parker on that table, and her heart had broken a little.
Blinking hard, Brennan focused on her living room. Her barely drunk beer stood forgotten on the table and she realised she'd been sitting there for almost an hour. She had to go to bed.
She padded into the bedroom, pulled on her sweats and collapsed on to the sheets, letting the darkness envelop her. She wished Booth was with her. She caught herself in that thought and found herself analysing it.
Why did she want Booth there? She hadn't thought about him in a sexual sense. It was just he was always there for her, and now she realised she wanted to be there for him.
Brennan's eyes wouldn't close, too many dreadful possibilities racing through her tired brain. After ten minutes of staring at the ceiling, she grabbed her cell phone and pressed the first button, Booth's speed dial.
A groggy voice sounded over the line.
"Booth."
She paused, realising how late it was.
"Oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"No, no Brennan, it's fine. I've literally just got into bed. Just been a long couple of days."
She heard the pain in his voice and sighed heavily, letting herself voice her fears, hoping it would help him deal with his.
"How can anyone do that, Seeley? What kind of psychology is that, to hurt a child, let alone four?"
Brennan didn't really expect an answer but she knew he would try.
"He was a sick and twisted man, Temperance, just evil. No two ways about it. But he'll get what he deserves behind bars."
Her logic and reasoning deserted her as soon as he tried to console her, her trust in him overwhelming.
"But what if he doesn't go to prison? What if there's some stupid technicality and they let him go?"
"They won't let him go, Bones. We got him bang to rights. You saw to that. You always do."
She heard the pride and admiration in his voice and felt herself blush a little, a smile creeping across her lips.
"Don't call me Bones."
"We stopped him, Temperance. He won't be seeing the outside of a jail cell anytime soon. We stopped him."
The tiredness was beginning to catch up with her and she sighed, hoping he could hear her own pride in her tone.
"Yes, we did Seeley."
She could hear him smiling as he replied.
"You ok?"
"Yeah, I'll be fine. I know you're right, I just needed…"
She tailed off, shaking her head in the dark. I just needed to hear your voice. I just needed to know you were ok so that I could be ok. I just needed you. She swallowed hard.
"You're always so nice to me, Booth. I'm sorry I don't always return the favour."
"You do it often enough and always when I need it."
Brennan smiled to herself.
"Thank you Booth. I guess I should let you get some sleep now. It's pretty late."
She heard him smile back.
"Don't worry Bones. Pick you up for breakfast around eight?"
She laughed, feeling her worries fading away as her normal routine came back into focus.
"As long as you're buying."
"Sure. Sleep well Bones."
"Same to you, Booth."
She closed the phone, staring at it for a moment before putting it back on the nightstand. Sliding back under the covers, Brennan smiled to herself as she finally managed to close her eyes and felt sleep taking over.
Maybe tomorrow she'd tell him. Maybe tomorrow he'd realise just how much she needed him. One day he'd finally break down all her defences and she'd tell him that she finally knew what love is, because he'd shown her. One day.
