I can't do this anymore.
That was the first thing that Merope Gaunt thought when she woke up this morning, lying next to her husband, Tom Riddle. She looked at him, love clear in her reflective brown eyes. She loved her husband so much; she couldn't enslave him by magical means… not anymore. At any rate, he must have fallen in love with her too by now… right? Could all his love simply be from the love potion that she had given him for a year? She was pregnant with his child - if he didn't love her, would he still stick around, for its sake? She could not bear the thought of Tom leaving her; she could not bear to think that Tom would not love her after a year of being together. What would she do if he left her?
She needed him; she needed his love to survive. How else had she survived her father's abuse for seventeen years? It was simply seeing him as he passed by the cottage every day that had kept her going. She did not want to do this to Tom anymore; she should be able to trust that the love he showed her did not just come from the potion that she had given him for the past year. Could she stop giving him the potion? Could she deal with the consequences? She did not know the answer to these questions, and it scared her. She would hope for the best, which was all she could do for now, that was her only option. She would NOT have him under the potion's effects anymore. She loved him too much.
"Good morning," Tom said sleepily. She looked over at him; a smile was on his face. It took her breath away. How could one look so beautiful?
She felt an old unease when she remembered his old fiancée, Cecelia. When she gave him the potion, Cecilia was driven out of his mind, and that was how Merope wanted it. Cecilia did not deserve Tom. She was arrogant, rude and spoiled. Tom was in every possible way, the opposite…. oh, who was she kidding? She knew exactly what kind of person Tom Riddle was, but love made her blind to all his faults, and made her see the good. Right now, Tom Riddle was not the man he was the year before. Was it Cecilia's fault for the way Tom had been? The man beside her was quite the opposite, but still as handsome as he was then. She smiled back, and leaned in to kiss his cheek.
"Good morning, love," she sighed, snuggling closer to him. It hurt to be this close to him, when she might lose him very soon. She sighed. Why did she have to be so pessimistic? Everything could turn out just fine. Sure, she had forced him to fall in love with her, made him forget about Cecilia, but that was because he did not see the real her. He thought she was trash, because her father was an arrogant man, and quite mad. So what if her brother used to nail snakes to the door? No one should judge another person because of his or her family members. Right?
Merope felt great unease. Should she do it? Should she tell him what's been going on for this past year? Her instincts were telling her no, but her heart was saying yes. Enough was enough.
"Are you working today?" she whispered. She wanted this last day to herself… Usually, she gave him the potion as soon as he woke up, adding it to his morning coffee. Today, she would not do it. Actually, today she was hoping he wouldn't go to work. She needed him with her today… How long until the potion wore off? Did it take two days? Less or maybe more? She didn't know. She felt his chest rise and fall, he was laughing. She loved his laugh. Oh, it gave her butterflies, listening to it, knowing that it was she who had made him laugh. She was going to miss this…
"Silly Merope. I suppose you forgot I'm on Christmas break?" Oh, of course. How could she have forgotten? It was the 29th of December; Tom was out of work until New Years. New Years… A new life would be born, a miracle… would Tom be with her to celebrate this new life? In her gut, she knew exactly what the answer was. In her heart, she hoped she was wrong.
She had stopped giving Tom the potion two days ago. There was definitely a change in the way Tom was treating her, a marked lessening of the love that he had shown her for the past year; the way he looked at her was very, very different. She knew she was losing him and it broke her heart. He would ask for an explanation, and soon. He would want to know why he had left his beautiful fiancée for the tramp's daughter. Oh, she feared his reaction. She had never made him angry- love was always the center of their marriage, for that was how the potion worked. Should she approach him and explain or wait for him to ask? Which would be easier? Which would make him less upset? She laughed at herself. Either way, she was in a world of trouble. She didn't think she should wait- he was already distant; she could see the old loathing in his eyes. It made her own eyes burn, just thinking about it. She sighed, and went to the living room, where Tom was sitting watching T.V.
"Tom…" She called to him, hesitant. He turned around, slowly, looking at her. There was something in his expression that frightened her; it was like… he already knew everything. She gulped and started to talk, but Tom forestalled her, his voice as cold as ice: "What have you done to me?" His voice was calm, soft, but she could hear the controlled anger. She knew he was minutes away from blowing up. Oh god, what had she done?
"W-What do you mean?" It was stupid, but she was scared. Could you blame her?
"DON'T PLAY STUPID! YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN!" he said, suddenly shouting. She cringed, hugging the wall. Oh, oh! She was in such trouble. She put a hand on her stomach and saw Tom's eyes follow her hand, seeing the baby bump. And his eyes… oh, there were no words to explain the rage in them. She saw his face go green, as if he were about to be sick.
She knew then that he would not want anything to do with the baby. He was going to throw her out on the streets, leaving her to fend for herself, knowing full well she had no money. She was a witch, but she wanted nothing to do with magic any longer. If Tom left her, she would die. She took a deep breath.
"Tom, I used magic. I used a potion to make you fall in love with me. I made you forget Cecilia; I made you run away with me, in hope that in time, you would love me too. I have been giving you the potion for the last year, but...I couldn't do it anymore. I love you. You are my everything. I know I have done wrong…." She was crying, she wanted to stay strong, but who was she kidding? She had always been weak. She started to break down. OH! how cruel fate was. She wanted this man, but he wanted nothing to do with her. She could see that, could see how sick and how angry she made him. "P-Please, I-I'm - s-sorry! Please don't leave me!" She was begging him and she knew it was pointless.
"Don't leave you?" Tom finally said, looking down at the disgusting creature before him. She had used magic to control him? She had made him forget Cecilia? How dared she do this to him? Oh god, how absolutely revolting. He remembered her father, remembered her brother. They were the laughing-stock of the village. No one had wanted anything to do with these people, and now he knew why! How dare she think he would stay with her?
He did not care that she was pregnant with his child. He did not want anything to do with them. He knew that the thing would be just like its mother, and he did not need reminding of her wickedness. He was never going to see her again after this day and if she came back, he... he didn't know what he'd do, but it would be better for everyone if she stayed away. What would happen when he went back to Little Hangelton? He couldn't tell them that Merope had used witchcraft. They would think he had gone mad. And Cecilia… she would never take him back. She was probably married… Blind rage filled him. This… this… he could not think of a word bad enough that would describe Merope, but she had ruined his life!
He walked toward her, and slapped her across the face with all his strength. He would have loved to kill her. He slapped her again, when she was facing him once more. "Get out, get out and make sure I never see you again. Did you really think I would want anything to do with you? You are scum beneath my feet! You think after everything you've done to me, I would stay? Did you think we could be a happy family? You are wrong. I want you out of my life; I don't want to see you again for as long as I live. You disgusting creature! GET OUT! NOW!" He took her by the arm, opened the door, pushed her roughly out the door and closed it in her tear-streaked face.
The last thing Merope saw of her beloved Tom was his disgusted face. She stood there for some time, crying her heart out, hoping he would change his mind… hoping, when she knew that everything had been lost…
She was tired, and she was hungry. She could feel that the child was going to be here soon. She hated it. She wanted nothing to do with the baby inside her. It would only remind her of the father it had lost… and she could not stand that.
It wasn't the infant's fault, she knew that; but there was no way she would be able to take care of it. She couldn't do anything without Tom by her side. Did that mean she was giving up on life? Yes, it did. She was not going to live and see this baby grow up, possibly looking like Tom (but despite herself, she hoped it would look like him, for she was not beautiful). She needed money, though.
She was using magic for the last time, as she raised her wand and Apparated to Diagon Alley. She was going to sell her last family heirloom, the one thing she had left: Salazar Slytherin's locket. She was the last descendant of one of the famous Hogwarts founders, but what did it matter? She didn't care about anything much, anymore.
She went down Knockturn Alley, and went straight to the store called Borgin and Burkes. She did not pay much attention to what the man was saying, but she told him that this was Slytherin's locket. At first, he did not seem to believe her, but in the end he took it from her and did some tests. He seemed to be satisfied. When he asked her how much she wanted for it, she replied ten Galleons.. She thought she saw a hint of surprise, but before she could look properly it was gone and he agreed on the price. She turned her back on him, as soon as he gave her the money. She sighed and left Knockturn Alley, left the Wizarding world behind and entered the Muggle world.
She could not see anything, she was horribly tired, and her belly grew heavier and more painful every moment. She winced- her breathing becoming ragged, she could not walk anymore. She needed a place to stay.
Just when she felt that she could not get any farther, she saw a big building in front of her, its lights on. She staggered up the steps, knocked on the door. A couple of minutes passed, and then the door was opened by a young girl. She tried to concentrate, to understand what the girl was saying, but the lamp over the step was suddenly blinding her… She fell forward.
When Merope came to, she was lying on a bed, the young girl looking at her with concern. She wanted to ask about the baby. She didn't know if it was out or not. She looked at the girl, wanting to ask her, when she saw it. Her baby. She felt nothing. She only felt tired, and sick of life. "I hope he looks like his papa," she sighed. She felt her energy drain away with the effort of getting out those few words. She needed to do one more thing before Death took her.
"Name him Tom, after his- father…" She could barely speak. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes, but she would not shed them. There was no use crying over him anymore. Tears would solve nothing. And honestly, she didn't have the strength even for that. "...and Marvolo… after my father. His surname is Riddle." There was nothing more she wanted to say, nothing more she wanted to do. She didn't care that the boy might need her, she was sick of living. Death was her only escape. So she closed her eyes, and drifted to a long-lasting sleep...