Behind and Beyond; Gaara.
Chapter 1: Isolation.
'Yashamaru; the only person who was there for me when I had absolutely nobody.
That person was never truly who I thought he was, neither did we have what I thought we did.
For a while, I thought that was love. But no longer.
I fight for my sake only and live to love no one but myself.
After all, I've never known the meaning of true "love".
To me, love... is a completely different language.'
I'd never understood what people were thinking when they looked at me with those eyes. Those hateful eyes... eyes filled with resent and intent to harm. Back then, I was an innocent child, being convinced by Yashamaru that I was being paranoid and that nobody would ever have any reason to hate me. Naïve as I was, I believed him instantly. After all, he was the only one who was there for me at the time; or so it seemed.
'First day at the academy tomorrow, right Gaara?'
'Yes...' I replied to him, unenthusiastically. I sighed at the thought of having to attend school; I mean, if the adults were already this cold, what would the children be like?
'Yashamaru?...' I asked, cautiously.
'What is it, Gaara?' He replied, with that smile on his face that I admired so much.
'It's j-just that... well, tomorrow being my first day of school, I really want someone to be there with me... and I know Father won't, so I was wondering if-'
'Now now Gaara,' Yashamaru replied, sharply. 'That's something I can't do, I'm not your legal guardian. Now, you'd better go home now, or your Father will have both our heads on the chopping board.'
I sulked up at him as he continued to smile at me, leading me to the door. I knew he was right, my Father definitely wasn't the patient type. As I opened the door a tall, dark person blocked my path.
'Ah... Kazekage-Sama...' Yashamaru said, awkwardly.
As I looked up at the figure, he looked down at me, his eyes like all the others. He then turned swiftly and started walking away from the house; I knew I was meant to follow. Before I knew it Yashamaru had closed the door and I was outside, alone, with my Father.
Out of all the people whom resented me, my Father had to resent me the most; this is something I will never understand. The person I admired the most, looking at me with the most bloodthirsty eyes. As I walked a few paces behind him, we walked in complete silence. I wanted to scream at my Father, I wanted to let him know how I felt. But any time I got even close to saying the words, they would cower away inside me. I was then left to look like a fool, as always, before my seemingly omnipotent Father.
As we entered our household, Temari and Kankuro were waiting to greet Father on arrival and to hang his cloak up. But they didn't even bother to give me a second look, although, I was used to it at that time; it was the norm. As I hung my own cloak up and removed my shoes, I looked back to see Father sitting at his table, staring right at me. I then began to make my way to my room when he said, 'Gaara,' in his deep, monotone voice. 'Come here.' It sent chills down my spine each time he decided to speak to me, but I knew I had to be brave and face him; if I ever wanted his acceptance, that was the first step.
As I walked towards him, he gave me a stern look and then ushered for me to take a seat.
Before I knew it, from underneath the table, a kunai knife was flying straight at me. In total shock and confusion I froze, unable to move my feet, or my head; where the kunai was coming towards.
I closed my eyes tightly, unsure of what was going to happen, but sure it wasn't going to be good.
I had them closed tightly for a good 5 seconds, and the kunai hadn't hit me.
I didn't understand.
Why hadn't it hit me yet?
Maybe I'm already dead?
The possibilities were endless in the darkness of my eyelids; that is, until I opened them.
I saw a wall of sand, blocking the kunai from my face, inches away from me.
To my instant surprise and confusion, Father was smirking.
'You've developed well, Gaara of the Sand.'
And from that day onwards, I would call myself that. I had finally been acknowledged by my Father, at long last.