Today, on 9 May, esteemed reporter and interviewer Jane Smith, will lead a trailblazing questionnaire for 8 of the most popular characters from the beloved classic Harry Potter.

HARRY POTTER

Our main protagonist, Harry is a bespectacled orphan who is mistreated by his relatives named the Dursleys and punched by Dudley, his humongous cousin. He then finds out he is a wizard and is sent off to his life-changing school, Hogwarts.

JS: Hello, Harry. I'm very proud that I get to interview you. Don't be shy, I'm not like that horrible person, Rita Skeeter, she's unfathomable. Now, our first question is, "How did you feel when Ron deserted you in Deathly Hallows"?

HP: Scared, honestly - he's my best mate, and losing him over a fight was stupid. I mean, Horcruxes are precious objects, and him thinking we would find one every other day...

JS: If my mate deserted me, I'd probably cry. Alright, next question. "Is Dumbledore your hero"?

HP: Most definitely yes! He can be a bit mad but he is a genius and I will always love him no matter what. He was a guardian when I had none, I could confide in him and tell him what I believed. Dumbledore, he never got mad at me, he was always so kind and wise -

JS: chuckling I meant ABERFORTH DUMBLEDORE, darling.

HP: Oh, um, well, yeah?

JS: Okie, second to last question - "Would you marry Hermione"?

HP: No! I mean, no. I love her as a friend, we went through so much, but my heart lies with Ginny.

JS: How sweet! Last but not least, from one of our readers, "Is your nickname really Roonil Wazlib"?

HP: If Snape is here, then yes. If he's not, then no.

JS: Thank you, Harry. I'm glad to see you, goodbye.

DRACO MALFOY

Apparently one of the most hated villains in Harry Potter is Draco Malfoy. His parents are too obsessed with being pure bloods and treat everyone below them foully. Oh, and his parents are also Death Eaters!

JS: Okay, don't kill me, please. "What's your favorite color"? Hehe, just askin'.

DM: Black. Black or green. Like a bruise. What's your blood status? I'm not talking to a dirty Mudblood, if that's what you are.

JS: If you're going to be prejudiced, okay, but I'm not going to let you play with me like I'm a toy. I'm a Mugglebor -

DM: Father, they're making me interviewed by a MUDBLOOD! Faaaather!

JS: Okie, then. This interview with Draco Malfoy is now over.

HERMIONE GRANGER, RON WEASLEY

Two of Harry's closest confidantes are Hermione Granger and Ronald "Ron" Weasley. They accompany Harry on almost every heart stopping adventure and are both loved by all adoring fans. Go Hermione and Ron!

JS: Starting with Ron, "Why are you afraid of spiders"?

RW: Why do we have to start with this? Well, Fred and George did a scary growing spell on one in our garden and chased me around with it for 4 hours. Mum murdered them. Not really, just yelled at them hysterically.

JS: Sounds horrifying! Hermione, "Do you hate Grawp"?

HG: Erm, no? No. No. No!

JS: Ok, just asking. Next, for both of you, "What's your favorite type of cookie"?

RS: Chocolate chip!

HG: Oatmeal and butter cookie.

JS: Nice. My personal favorite is a sugar cookie. Last, before you leave, is - "Do you both like someone"?

HG: Ron and I are dating, I thought everyone knew that! Well, everyone should know now.

JS: Bye! Hope you guys have a great day, and hopefully I'll see ya soon.

VOLDEMORT

Shudder-shudder. I feel like Ron near spiders. No description.

JS: H-Hello, Mister V-Voldemort.

V: Hello, and who are you?

JS: J-Jane Sm-Smith, Mister.

V: Blood status?

JS: M-Muggleborn, Mis-Mister.

V: AVADA KEDAVRA! I shall not be interviewed by MUDBLOODS!

JS: *slumps and is dead*

THE END!

A/U: TYSM for reading this! Hope you liked it. Please critique me as much as possible, no hating though. Constructive criticism allowed. Thank you and bye!