an; I don't own the poem in bold, it was just what inspired me to write this one shot. also, pretend like the end of the last clique book hadnt happened please, yes massie left for England but she never met anyone on the plane. enjoy
I take a glance
at the scars on my wrist
they tell me,
it doesn't have to be like this
I want to talk
to let it out
but nobody is there to listen
even when I shout
depression is dark
so speak up
before it takes you away
and covers your mouth.
Massie nervously kept her wrist facing in towards herself as she cut up her food into tiny pieces, attempting to make it look like she had actually eaten something. She just didn't have the will to eat. She only wanted to be back up in her room sleeping to block out reality.
Shocking, isn't it? The Massie Block, previous alpha of Westchester and the Pretty Committee, wanting to be alone with no attention on her. Moving away to England had her isolated from all the important people in her life, besides her parents of course. The Pretty Committee, Inez, Isaac, Landon, and even though she hated to admit she still had feelings for the Briarwood Soccer Star, Derrington. It wasn't the same talking to them through FaceTime or iMessage or DMs or Kik; they just weren't the same Pretty Committee they used to be. It was as though they had moved on from their days of the PC, and that made Massie even more... sad.
Of course, Massie would never admit it, but she was depressed. Completely and utterly depressed.
"May I be excused please?" Massie quietly asked, in a such a manner that was worrying to her parents. Massie had always been the one to declare she was leaving without checking to be sure it was okay.
"Of course." Kendra responded, smiling gently at Massie, who didn't even see the smile as she was too busy making her way upstairs.
Behind her closed and locked bedroom door, she examined her scarred wrist. She counted as though she didn't know there were exactly 14 faded scars. She wished she had never done it, because she was forever reminded of when she was weak. Massie Block was too strong for something like self mutilation. The scars on her wrist sadly proved that wrong.
Massie didn't want to feel like this anymore. She didn't want to deal with the terrible bouts of depression she had, she didn't want to deal with the constant urge to slice into her skin. So the next morning before school started she gathered her courage and walked alone (as always) into the guidance office.
"May I please speak with Mrs. Shay?" Massie nervously requested, fiddling with the long sleeves of her pale red Marc Jacobs sweater.
"One moment please." The women at the desk said, and scanned her eyes over her computer screen. "Alright, she's free, go on in."
Massie hadn't expected it to be so easy, or perhaps it was just she hoped it would have been harder. She focused on the tips of her Ralph Lauren black calf boots as she made her way to the guidance counslers room.
"Have a seat, Massie." Mrs. Shay said as Massie entered the room.
Massie sat down, and looked at Mrs Shay. Mrs. Shay looked back at Massie exoectantly.
"What did you want to talk about, Massie? Is everything okay?"
Before Massie could say anything, a little voice inside her head spoke up. If you say anything they'll think you're crazy, an insane attention seeker. They'll take one single look at your wrist and ship you off to the mental department. Don't. Say. A word.
"Massie?" Mrs. Shay inquired, giving Massie a reassuring smile.
"I.. I.. I cant do this. I'm sorry." Massie blurted out and rushed out of the room.
Her head pounding she ran until she reached the normally abandoned stairwell in the east side of the building and put her head between her knees. She sat there breathing in and out slowly for around five minutes willing herself not to cry or freak out or anything stupid like that.
"Hey, are you alright?" Massie heard an extremely British voice ask her. She should really be used to British accents at this point, she had lived in England for three years now. She looked up to see a tall boy with black hair styled into a quiff with blue eyes looking at her in concern.
"I'm.. I'm fine." Massie said calmly, and stood up. She held out her hand. "I'm Massie."
The boy smiled back at her. "I'm James."
A sudden feeling filled her chest, one she hadn't felt in a long time.
Hope.
"It's great to meet you."
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