Chapter one of some light hearted fun(most of these snippets and one shots are light hearted) Enjoy!
Disclaimer: These characters aren't mine. I'm not making no money off them, please, spare a girl a break, she just wants to have some fun! T_T
OOCs, OCs and AUs abound, I'm warning ya!
Warnings: None.
Enjoy!
Two and half Women, oh...and Carlos
Skirt Chaser
"Where in the hel-heck did Tank put those figures," I muttered, as I went through a folder, frowning, "I swore I saw them here, five minutes ago, I can't be going that crazy…"
I swore under my breath and looked at the piles of paper on top of my desk, "I need to organize these papers when I get a chance, I swear they multi-"
A knock on the door had me looking up from my quest. I let out another noise and said, "Come in."
"Carlos," I felt a smile break out on my face as my wife of two years came into the office, holding a thin file and her phone, "I finished making copies of the yearly figures an-"
"So that's where those papers went," I got up and went over to my wife and kissed her deeply, "Stephanie, Babe, you're a life saver."
"I would hold your gratitude back for a moment, Carlos, I just got off the phone with the headmistress at the girls' school, we need to come in for a parent-teacher's conference this afternoon."
Oh great, what has Heidi, our youngest one done this time? I gave Stephanie a long look but then she chuckled and shook her head, as if she read my thoughts.
"It's not Heidi this time, Carlos, it's Julie who's on the radar," Stephanie had a mild look of disbelief on her face as well.
Julie, my Julie, were we talking about the same Julie who, though is a hell raiser can hide It and not get in trouble because of it Julie. The same Julie who never got in trouble at school because she couldn't be pissed to waste precious resources on teachers (her words, not mine.)
No…
Julie never gave us stress at school, that was usually reserved for Heidi, our youngest daughter, who was only 6 and already had the school down on their knees because of her brain. If Julie had to have a conference-
"Oh Dios, she's finally snapped and tried to burn the school down," I groaned, earning a laugh from Stephanie as she left me to my thoughts.
(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
I wrapped an arm around Stephanie as we made our way into New Waters Prep, a private school that the girls' aunt had recommended (With how much tuition was, for both of them, this school better produce some top notch Manosos.) It was going past three and all the students were gone, save for a few that stayed late for clubs and other things. I had called Heidi's teacher and told her that Heidi was staying late, we would pick her up from her class after our meeting. Her teacher had giggled and said that she and Heidi would be in the Library, working on abstract equations.
Was there a help line for parents with children that IQs over 300?
Stephanie knocked on the Headmistress's door and a sharp, "Enter!" Had us walking into the headmaster's office, where Julie sat across from her.
Along with 10 boys her age and their parents. What in the hell did my daughter do?
Julie Manoso, my eldest daughter and child, was scowling at the surface of the Headmistress's desk, her arms folded and her eyes squinted. Oh she was pissed. I walked up to her and ruffled her short hair and sat beside her. I've been told by everyone who meets us that Julie was an exact carbon copy of me, from the brown eyes, silky black hair and the skin tone. She even inherited my need for getting into trouble as well.
Poor girl.
Stephanie sat on the other side of Julie and I leaned forward and asked, "So, what is going on, and what does it have to do with Julie and these boys?"
"Mr. Manoso, Mrs. Manoso," The Headmistress looked at us from over her glasses and sighed, "Some of the boys in Julie's grade have voiced some concern over a few actions you daughter has done."
Julie scowled louder and I rubbed her shoulder through her polo shirt, "Mija, what did you do, you can tell Papi, and I won't get mad, I promise."
"…"Julie looked away and crossed her legs huffing.
"If she won't tell you, then I will," The headmistress looked at Stephanie and I and closed her eyes, "It seems as though Julie-"
"She stole our girlfriends!" One of the little punks snapped, his freckled face red, "None of our girlfriends want to be with us, they only want to be with Julie!"
"What?!" Both Stephanie and I said this at once, looking over to Julie whose face melted from a scowl to a smirk, (The little hellraiser smirk too, ay dios.) I gave Julie a long look and said, sternly, "Julie."
"I didn't steal these losers' girlfriends, they came to me," Julie huffed and leaned back in her seat, tucking her hands in the pockets of her slacks, " 'S not my fault they suck as boyfriends."
"Miss. Manoso!" The headmistress gasped, earning a snort from my prodigy.
"Wendy sent me a note saying that I wasn't as nice as you, Julie, and that she was breaking up with me to be with you!" Another boy snapped, earning a round of agreement from the other boys, "You-you can't have 11 girlfriends!"
"Oh I can't?" Julie smirked at the group of boys, "Watch me.."
My daughter was a skirt chaser, that's why I was here and trying to defend her, she was out here, stealing girls from their boyfriends….
Dios, it was worse than I thought.
"Julie, sweetie, don't tell me you're doing this on purpose!" Stephanie gasped, looking at the girl beside her.
"Nope, I'm not," Julie smiled like a cat that caught its prey, "I don't do much, 'sides being my dashing self."
Stephanie groaned and covered her face, I wanted to do the same too.
"Regardless of this, Miss. Manoso, the boys and their parents are concerned about your actions, this form of bullyin-"
"My daughter is not a bully!" Stephanie yelped standing, "If anyone is a bully in here, it's these boys, remember how they treated Julie at the start of the school year and you all turned a blind eye away from it?"
Ah yes, some of the boys shifted their feet, they damn well knew what happened at the start of the school year. Punks.
"You can't keep using that card to excuse your daughter's actions, Stephanie," one of the moms stated to Stephanie, "Face it, your child Is a menace!"
"You take that back, you saggy cowtit!"
"Woah, saggy cowtit, I'm putting that one in the book!"
"Julie, dios, you better not!"
The room fell into chaos after that, there was shouting, mayhem and I'm pretty sure Julie put a whoopie cushion on someone's chair. The headmistress was about to blow a whistle but then the door opened and my youngest child, Heidi, her teacher and a group of girls came marching in.
"Your Honor, I'm here as my Sister's Lawyer!" Heidi shouted, her hands on her hips, "According to the 7th amendbent, she has the right to a fair trial and she's gonna get one!"
Heidi's teacher, Mrs. Goode smiled down at her and then looked over to us, shrugging her shoulders, "We were watching a film about policemen in class, you know how she is."
Dios, don't I know it…
My youngest daughter, a splitting image of her mother, stomped up to the headmistress's desk and placed her hands on the surface. Or, well, she tried to, but she couldn't quite reach it. She turned to me and whispered, "Papi, can you help a lawyer out?"
I sighed and lifted her up on my lap and she smiled at me, "Thank you, Papi," before looking at the headmistress, "Your honor, I have with me, witnesses, who will rebutt these dink's statement!"
"I'm Wendy," One girl stepped up, looking at us, "I did break up with Fred to go out with Julie, but she didn't ask me, I want to date her! She's nice, she helps me with my homework and stuff and when I talk about things I like, she listens! Fred, you don't listen!"
What in the-aren't these 10 year olds too young to be sounding like adults?!
"Yeah, I broke up with Timmy to be with Julie too, she's fun!"
A chorus of girls began to agree with each other and I looked over to Julie, who looked smug. I then looked over to the boys and their parents and watched as they begin to look frazzled. The headmistress groaned and said, "I think I'm going to talk to Jack later on tonight."
I knew what Jack she meant, and, she has the right idea.
15 minutes later, and 10 apologies later as well, Julie was walking out the office, trouble free and with a group of girls surrounding her. I had Heidi in my arms and Stephanie was praising her for being a good little sister.
"Ladies, you know that those boys couldn't hold us back, how about we go get an ice cream bar from the dining hall and I'll tell you what Stephanie called their moms!"
The girls shouted their joy and lead Julie down the hall, chattering about how Julie was going to pay for their frozen treats.
"Papi, can you pick up the tab for me, please, I spent my allowance on a new atomic fire cracker!"
I watched, feeling a ball of dread grow in the pit of my stomach and looked over to Stephanie, "What do we do about her?"
"I say, we let her enjoy her victory and give her a stern lecture about how many girlfriends she can date at once," Stephanie kissed my cheek and leaned on my shoulder.
"Hey, I wanna kiss Papi too!" Heidi leaned forward and kissed my cheek as well and I let out a rare sigh, watching Julie and her girlfriends flounce away to dining hall.
"Okay ladies, who want a Fudge Pop?"
End.
What will we do with Julie ~sigh~