A/N: My first story, so please review! Constructive criticism please. PS, the second chapter will have more real plot development. It will probably also be longer than the first. (:
(I don't own anything, Boy Meets World, characters, blah-dy blah blah.)
It was unseasonably cold, and the brightly colored plastic tunnel Shawn was laying in did little to keep out frigid nighttime air. Through small holes in the top of the tunnel, he could see out to the star-speckled sky. He remembered nights he had slept in this very same tunnel, in this very same park, numerous times throughout his adolescence. They weren't pleasant memories. If they were, they wouldn't involve sleeping in a park, would they?
But this time was different. Shawn wasn't angry, or upset. To be quite honest, he didn't know what he was feeling. He was mostly just trying to sort out his thoughts. He decided to begin with listing the facts, the unquestionable truths, and build off of that.
I am Shawn Hunter, he thought. I am seventeen years old. I live in Philadelphia .It's really cold out here. I'm in a tunnel. And… and… And I talk to myself in my head like a mental patient.
He sighed. What am I doing here? He gripped his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block the image of Cory that filled his head.
Lately, Shawn had been thinking about Cory too often. More so than usual, anyway. It was almost imperceptible at first, even to Shawn. He would sit behind Cory in class, and get distracted by him; looking at his hair, wondering what he was thinking, studying the way his hands moved when he took notes. Eventually he would snap back to reality, shake his head, and assume he was just zoning out, like he always did in class. But slowly it became more and more clear to Shawn that he thought about Cory more than he should. Doing homework, in the shower, going to sleep, he couldn't seem to get him off his mind.
It was strange, seeing as how they had been friends for so long, but Shawn noticed himself feeling almost nervous when alone with Cory. Not so much nervous, as just… tense. Or awkward. It was a strange feeling, and he couldn't quite explain it.
It got worse as time passed. Shawn found himself worrying about his appearance when going somewhere with Cory, as if it were a date. He thought through what he was going to say before he said it, analyzing every sentence to make sure it sounded perfect. He had pushed all this to the back of his mind, trying to ignore it. He couldn't help it anyway, why bother trying to stop?
It had come far enough, though, that there was no ignoring it anymore. He had to stop lying to himself.
The night before (for it was technically early morning now), Shawn went to bed as usual. But he had barely gotten to sleep when he began dreaming about Cory. A dream about he and Cory together. They weren't speaking, but touching each other, on the chest and thighs and everywhere. Then they were kissing, and undressing, and laying down together. They made love, and it was like they were becoming one person, twisting and rolling, completely and perfectly in sync. Shawn woke up sweating and panting, with an erection. He wiped the sweat off his face, climbed out his bedroom window (something he had gotten quite good at over the years), and down the fire escape. That's how he ended up in the tunnel, in the park, in the middle of the night.
He thought about it for a few minutes. He remembered something Cory had said to him once, almost six years ago. "I'll always have a window open for you, man." And maybe he was crazy, maybe he was just tired. But for whatever reason, Shawn decided he needed to go to Cory's house. He needed to see Cory.
He got all the way to his house too, all the way up the tree outside Cory's bedroom window, before he realized what he was about to do.
Shit. What am I doing here? What would I even say? What COULD I say?
He turned around to climb back down, when he heard a window creak, and a groggy voice behind him.
"…Shawn? Shawnie? Is that you? What are you doing? Get in here, it's freezing."
Shawn froze. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he thought about dropping down and running, but it was too late now. He turned, and climbed into the bedroom.
Cory obviously slept in his underwear, because he stood near the open window shivering in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.
"Uh, h-hey Cor." Shawn looked around the room nervously, trying desperately not to look at Cory's exposed chest and legs. Or any part of him, for that matter.
"Shawn, what's wrong? Why are you here? Oh my god, Shawn, how long have you been out there, your hands are white, your lips are blue, come here!"
Before he had a chance to speak or object, Shawn was dragged to a sitting position at the foot of Cory's bed, and a blanket was wrapped around him.
"Jeez, Shawn, let me get something warm for you to wear."
"Uh, listen, Cor, there's nothing wrong. I need you to know that… Before you start worrying. I'm okay. Really."
Cory spoke from the dresser, with his back to Shawn.
"Then why are you here? It's the middle of the night. Did you miss me that much?" He meant it sarcastically, but Shawn laughed too hard. an awkward, nervous laugh. He realized he probably would have been better off making up a problem, then at least he would have an excuse for showing up at Cory's bedroom window at this hour.
"Hah! Miss you! Good one, Cor!" He desperately tried to think of something to say, anything, but there was nothing. Cory turned towards him.
"Then why are you here, Shawn?" He was serious this time, and looking directly at Shawn. He wanted an answer.
"Um, heh. You see… I was… Well, the thing is…" he looked at the floor, tapping his feet nervously. "You know, I should really leave." He got up from the bed and made a break for the window.
"NO, Shawn." Cory stepped in front of the window and put his hands on Shawn's shoulders to stop him in his path. "Tell me what's wrong. Why aren't you home? In bed?"
"Well, I, uh, just. I really… wanted to talk to you." That didn't sound TOO suspicious, did it? It didn't scream, "I just had a sex dream about you, and somewhere in my deranged mind, I had a fantasy that it might come true," did it? Oh, god. Shit. Shit. Be cool, man! Shit. Shawn panicked in his mind.
"About anything particular?" Cory wasn't suspicious, but he was still thoroughly confused.
"No, uh. Just. You know. cause you're my... friend. right? heh!" He put his arms out and forced a smile, like what he was doing was completely normal.
"Yeah, well. I know you well enough to know that you're holding something back, but it will obviously take work getting it out of you. I guess we'll just deal with that in the morning." He tossed Shawn a pair of flannel lounge pants and a sweatshirt.
Oh. he wants me to put these on. right. I need to change. ...He wants me to change! Now that Shawn had come clean to himself about his feelings for Cory, his mind held nothing back. Wild fantasies flashed through his mind at the thought of being alone, half-naked, with Cory, even though it had happened many times before. Suddenly, Shawn realized he had been staring blankly at Cory.
"Oh, um." He fumbled with the zipper on his jeans and slid them off, his legs still covered in goose-flesh from the cold. He pulled his shirt off over his head, and quickly reached for the fresh clothes, not daring to look in Cory's direction.
In his haste to get inside the pants, his foot caught on the waistband, causing him to trip. He hit the ground, hard.
"Jeez, Shawn, something's got you really jumpy tonight." He reached out a hand to help Shawn to his feet.
Goddamnit, Shawn, pull it together! Take his hand, stand up, and put your pants on for Christ's sake! BE. COOL.
Cory pulled Shawn up, but Shawn didn't say anything. He didn't trust himself to speak just yet.
"The pants fit alright?" Cory was calm, and collected, a sharp contrast to Shawn's behavior.
"Uh, yeah, they're good, just fine." Shawn was forced to look Cory in the eye for the first time that night. He felt a slight stirring in his pants, cursed in his mind, and suddenly wished the pants were a few sizes looser.
"Good. well. I'm not letting you walk home tonight, so you might as well make yourself comfortable." Cory yawned, and gestured to his bed. his bed. The bed. The only bed in the room.
The full realization of the bed situation hit Shawn just as Cory laid back down on the left side of the bed and pulled the covers up.
"Oh. Your bed? make myself comfortable... in your bed? I mean, no, of course not, the floor. obviously. I'll just go on the floor." He crouched and draped his damp blanket across the hardwood floor.
"No, I meant the bed. You don't think there's enough room? It's plenty big. I'll move over." Cory scooted over, but only slightly. "Oh. Oh. I should put pants on. Sorry. I get it. Do you want me to put pants on?" He propped himself up to look at Shawn, but didn't make a move to get up.
"No. I mean, yes. Of course. Um, I don't care, I really don't. You don't have to. Not to say that I DON'T want you to wear pants, I just-"
"Good." Cory flopped back down and rolled over, away from Shawn. "Once you warm up, Shawn, you can take that sweatshirt off. You don't have to sleep in it," he said, without turning back around.
Shawn ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. Just breath, Shawnie, breath. In and out. He pulled the sweatshirt off over his head and held it, but he didn't move. After a minute or two, Cory twisted his head around to look at Shawn.
"You coming to bed? Or you gonna stay up?"
With nothing covering his bare chest, Shawn suddenly felt very exposed.
"Oh, um, yeah. I'm coming. I'll go to bed." He hurried to get under the covers, as far away from Cory as he could without falling off the bed.
Cory reached out, turned off the lamp, and didn't say another word. His breathing soon became rhythmic and calm.
Shawn, on the other hand, had never been more awake. I am in a bed, with Cory, alone. Okay, just relax. It's happened before, right? We had sleepovers as kids. Not in a while, but still. And there were usually sleeping bags involved. Oh god. breath! It was dark, but he could see the silhouette of Cory under the blanket, his chest rising and falling slowly with each breath. He could picture him, close enough to touch, bare chested, in nothing but his underwear. The thought made his lower extremities begin to stir some more. He couldn't move, he could barely breath, for fear of waking Cory. Or himself, for that matter, seeing as this was probably some elaborate dream anyway.
Cory turned in his sleep, and his foot brushed Shawn's calf. It was only a small touch, a gentle graze, but it made Shawn freeze, and his heart pounded in his chest. Cory settled back into sleep, and eventually Shawn relaxed, if only slightly. Clearly, sleep would be impossible.
What did you think of chapter one? let me know(: