Dark Nights Drive Into Forever
A/N: This is a short two-shot that goes along with my story "Ghosts". It is meant to show how Olivia and Alex are feeling after the SUV's drive away at the end of "Loss". You don't need to read Ghosts to understand this story, just that in this sort of AU in the sense that Olivia goes with Alex into Witness Protect in my story.
Disclaimer: Any and All characters associated with Law and Order Special Victims Unit are the property of Dick Wolf and NBC. No money is being made from this story.
Olivia's POV
It's a strange feeling, leaving your entire life behind. I can see the lights of the city fading into the background now. The twinkling almost makes me think the city is waving good-bye. It would seem fitting that after all we have done for that city, the least it could do is wave good-bye. I'd like to think this is only temporary; that someday we will be back, but I'm not stupid. I've worked on my fair share of cases and read about many more where the witnesses were placed in the program, and never got out.
Who knew that a case that had started out much like all the others could end like this, with Alex and I in the backseat of some federal SUV, heading off to the unknown.
The sky is a dark black, and even as we continue to drive on I can see no stars. Maybe the sky is trying to tell me something. I don't really know. I'm trying to prepare myself for what I know is to come, but can anyone truly ever prepare to lose themselves. I know soon I will be given a new name; that Alex will no longer be Alex Cabot and I will no longer be Olivia Benson. A small part of me already feels like I lost her. That Olivia and Alex are still back in New York.
We will be given new backgrounds, names, stories. We will become different people from who we were. This, I think, is what worries me the most. For as long as I can remember I have been a cop. It has been just as much a part of me as my skin. I know Alex feels the same in regards to being a lawyer. In a sense I feel these were the jobs we were born to do. What do we do now? Can we go on like nothing has happened when we both know everything has changed? I can already feel my identity fading, dying back in New York as I'm sure my car is at this point. I had just caught Hammond telling the other Marshal to stage my car in a crash and call it in that I had died. I can only imagine what everyone at the squad will think. First they lose their ADA, now one of their detectives.
I know I'm making the right choice though. That I will never question. And, really, how could I when the one constant thing I could always count on in my life was the women sleeping beside me. Alex saved me from myself in every way possible and to think of just walking away while she rides into the unknown? No, I could never do that. Not after thinking I had already lost her.
As I look out my window again I can just start to see the stars glowing in the dark night sky. I can't tell you how long we have been driving, and I have no idea how much longer it will be. I can see the lonely highway stretching out far beyond the dark horizon. It almost has a calming affect now.
I don't know what is waiting for Alex and I at the end of this drive; all I do know is that with Alex beside me, I'm exactly where I want to be, forever.