Smooth as Eggs
By: McLP
Beta-Reader: Crystal Castles
Summary: Cece tries to explain a Dave Chappelle joke to a highly confused Gunther. CeGe One-shot. Requested by Crystal Castles.
Disclaimer: I do not own Shake It Up! If I did...there will be loads of Runther and some CeGe...I just love Gunther...
Warnings: Language. Crude Joke. Dave Chappelle. Gunther being Gunther. And a hint of Lemon.
A/N: I watch this Dave Chappelle movie along with CC, I love this comedian. He just make a daily thing into something hilarious. I couldnt control my breathing after 20 minutes into the movie! The movie is called For What Its Worth, if you enjoy comedy and having a good laugh then I reccommend this movie. I hope I wasnt too OOC with characters. Happy Reading!
Smooth As Eggs
Its was Friday night and Cece has the whole apartment to herself. Her mother was working another late shift while her brother,Flynn, has been drop of to a friend's house to spend the night. Cece wanted her best friend, Rocky, to come over to her house but the last minute text she recieved stating that she is going out with Deuce put a damper to her night. Already popping the kettle flavour popcorn and setting two drinks on the coffee table, Cece sighed heavily that she was going to spend their night alone watching a chick-flick that Rocky wanted to see.
"Well cant let this popcorn go to waste," she spoke sadly to herself as she bring the large bowl with her to the couch. Setting the popcorn next to her, Cece grab the remote and click the tv on. Cece grab the dvd from the coffee table and stare at it with disintrest. A typical girl meets guy kind of movie with promises of bad humor.
"I am not going to spend the night watching this piece of shit," tossing the dvd behind her, she smiled to herself hearing a soft crash. Standing up to go to her family's small collection of dvds, she threw the rejects over her shoulder until she came across one dvd that she has never seen before. It was Dave Chappelle, a well-known comedian and celebrity. Cece instantly recognized him for his rememorable performance on Rick James. Cece never seen it because of the watchful eye and strict rules she lived nder but what Deuce and Ty told her about him, spark Cece's intrest.
"Huh? I wonder whats this is doing here?" she said outloud to herself. It couldnt be her mother that have purchased the dvd because she didnt like comdey from the 21st century. Cece could assume it was her devious little brother that sneak the dvd in, considering it was hidden behind a stack full of disney movies, but a 12 year old boy couldnt purchase a r-rated movie by himself. She examine the dvd and began to form a debate in her mind, should she watch the dvd and dont tell her mother about it? or should she watch it and tell her mother later? Either way she was going to watch this dvd. Setting up her dvd player she pop the movie in and plop herself back onto the couch; awaiting to experience her first rated R movie since the first Predators.
The movie was hilarious! Cece found herself breathing for air since the first 10 minutes of the movie playing. Now she finally see whats the hype about with Dave Chappelle, he was the funniest comedian!
Several more minutes into the movie, Cece was still laughing. Her whole face was red from laughter and tears slid down her face. Suddenly she heard a knock on the door, first time she mistaken the knock to be a few taps from the neighbors in the apartment below her but then she heard it again with more force, she paused the dvd. Her heart began to race, it couldnt be her mother. She said she would work late into the early morning, she wouldnt come home without calling the house. Cece calm herself down as she wipe the tears from her eyes and straighten her tanktop over her pj bottoms.
She walked over to the door and open it, to her surprise it was none other then Gunther standing on the otherside wearing the most flashy clothes that Cece ever laid eyes on. He was wearing a bright smile and carried something under her arm.
"Hello bay-bee!" he greeted her. Cece knitted her brows in annoyance but still force a smile on her face.
"Hey, Gunther. What brings you by? At night?" Cece then lean forward to see that Gunther was alone. "Without Tinka?"
Before she got an answer, Gunther let himself in without another word. Cece scoff and roll her eyes before closing the door.
"Hello, I asked you a question?"
"Yes!" Gunther spin around, the smile never fading from his face. "I remember babysitting your bruderchen one night and he just loves my snickerdoodles so I baked a bunch eariler today and decided to drop them off here!"
"Um, thats sweet and all but," Cece gave Gunther a werid look. He was always doing something strange that confuses Cece to no end. "You could have drop them off in the morning. Do you realize what time it is?"
"Hmm, no." He said as he sat the container of cookies down on the table. He took a look around much to Cece's discomfort while she cross her arms and tap her barefeet wanting more then the annoying pain in her ass to leave so she could go back to her movie. "Oooh! Watching a movie,Schön?"
"What did you call me?" Cece demanded. She didnt understand Gunther's or Tinka's european language. For all she know, he could be calling her a bitch or a cunt or something equally vulgar and insulting.
"Oh shush! Now tell me what is this you are watching?" Gunther waved his hand off to Cece as he removed hsi flasy jacket with the eye blinding colors of yellow and blue. Cece's observe Gunther's well built body. If he wore less flashy clothing, he could get a girls attention with all that muscle. Cece has yet to find out how Gunther got them. Cece mentally slap herself for staring to long as she quickly bit her lip before answering.
"Just a stand-up comdey."
"What is this stand-up? Do you watch people stand in one place?"
"No," Cece laughed. She still couldnt believe that Gunther wasnt use to America customs. "Its when a comedian tells a joke to a group of people."
"Oh," Gunther noted. "In my old country, we usually gather together and tell tales. Some of them are really funny."
"Ok, but this is funnier." Cece grab Gunther's hand and sat him down on the couch. She sat down next to him moving the half-eaten popcorn bowl on the floor. She press play on the remote to continue the rest of the movie. Dave Chappelle then came to his eggs sketch. Cece was laughing non-stop while Gunther remain silent. When Dave came to the end of his joke and the start of the new one thats when Gunther made a comment.
"I dont get it."
"Get what?" Cece said in between pants as she tried to regulate her breath.
"The joke. I dont get." Gunther shrug his shoulders, his brows knit together as he continued to watch the movie. When Cece found her breathe she paused the movie and turn to look at Gunther.
"What part of it you dont get?" she asked. "I think the joke was pretty direct if you ask me."
"I dont get why balls should be compare with eggs. Eggs are shaped differently then balls." Gunther explained. "Balls are round. Eggs are not round. Hello, have you been paying attention in school, Schön?"
"Ugh! Stop calling me that! And he was not taking about those balls, he was talking about the other balls."
"What other balls? What kind of balls would he be talking about?"
"Hmm, let see," Cece said in a mocking tone. "He could be talking about balls that you shave everyday."
"I dont shave any of these 'balls' that you are talking about." Cece hold in a stiffle of giggles. She really cant believe how dense Gunther was even Cece knows what Dave Chappelle was referring too. Wasnt lifting up his shirt and the direct look at his lower regions was enough to say what he was joking about.
"Um, do you shave?" Cece asked.
"No, I dont shave." Gunther said in a serious face and tone.
"You dont shave?" Cece repeated the words slowly. Gunther just shook his head. Cece sighed, how was she going to explain ths to him. She was not going to explain to a 18 year old boy about his penis to understand the joke. That was a line she wouldnt dare cross unless she was desprate. "You do realize he was referring to male parts,right?"
"What parts of the male is he referring too,Schön?" Gunther tilted his head and smiled at her. Cece wanted to either smack him or pull her hair out. She then made a bold move and grab his crotch, Gunther face went into complete shock while Cece closed her eyes and shouted.
"He was referring to your balls, the balls on your penis being smooth as eggs! Get it?"
They stay like that for a few minutes, Gunther in complete shock and Cece blushing madly for what she done. She cannot believe she is touching Gunther's crotch. She would touch any crotch in the world other then Gunther's but here she is, in her living room, touching his crotch. Cece should be mortified but her mind was filled with dirty thoughts.
"S-sorry." she quickly apologized. Cece pulled her hand away but Gunther quickly grab her wrist and kept it over his crotch. Cece quickly look into his eyes to see that he was smirking at her.
"I am still not convinced about these shaven balls you're boasting about." Gunther spoke in his american accent. An accent Cece rarly hears but now she is strangly turn on from it. "Maybe a girl like you could examine mines to see if they are 'smooth as eggs'?"
Cece didnt know what to say, if she was in her right sense of mind. She would say something in the lines of 'Get the fuck out, you creep!' and kick Gunther out of her apartment but those words were far off from her tongue as she sat there with her mouth slightly open as Gunther still had that smirk on his face. He then places Cece's hand on his thigh as he used both og his hands to unzip and unbutton his pants. Cece watch in amazement as she clamp her mouth shut from drooling at the sight. Gunther then pulled down his boxers to reveal his cock.
"Do you suck these balls?" Gunther flawlessy mimic the line from the movie.
"Oh my god," Cece said in mock surprise. "Those balls are smooth as eggs." She then move her hand to Gunther's shaft feeling his length within her palms. Giving him a smirk, she finished the well-verse lines. "Yes, yes I would suck those balls."
She moved her hand up and down slowly, earning a groan from the blond man. She couldnt help it but smirk knowing she was in full control. It wasnt the first time she touch a cock let alone suck one. She has done it plenty of times with Ty but she never imagine she was going to do the same to Gunther. She used her thumb to rub and tease the head of Gunther's cock while her other hand cup his sac. She felt that his balls cinched up quickly. Cece stifled them back, learning said trick from another girl, down to make Gunther last a little longer.
"Havent had any girls blow you off lately?" she asked, her eyes twinkling with lust and desire. She only got another groan from him and a few strings of words, Cece couldnt decihper. "I'll take that as a 'fuck,yeah'."
Licking his mushroom-shaped head, she took his cock into her mouth. She massaged his balls as she moved her tongue up and down his length. Gunther stare back at her with clouded green eyes with Cece's light brown ones.
"Fuck, Cece." Gunther said through his teeth as he grab her hair and thrust his hips into her mouth making her deep throat him over and over. Her moans sent vibrations around his cock as he fucked her mouth. It was enough to send Gunther over the edge as he came into her mouth. Cece almost choke on the sticky,hot liquid but she swallow the contents quickly. She came up for air and licked the length of his cock then moved to his balls and kissed them lightly.
"Wow," Gunther panted as he lean back onto the couch while Cece grab a cup to wash down the salty aftertaste. "That was...amazing,Schön!" His european accent return quickly much to Cece's disappointment. Oh, well she did enjoy his american accent while it lasted.
"You're welcome." she winked at him before taking another drink. Gunther quickly dress himself as he stood up from the couch, his smile never leaving his face as Cece took her place back on the couch.
"You know, Ty was right. You do give out the best blowjobs." Gunther smirked. Cece did a spittake and whirl her head around towards him, her eyes aiming daggers.
"Ty said what!" she screamed as she slam her cup on the table. She quickly got up from her seat and was going to whirl a bunch of insults at Gunther but her lips was soon caputre by Gunther's in a quick kiss.
"Well as much as I enjoy our little time together, I got to be heading home. Tinka may be worried at this point of my whereabouts." Gunther announced as he walked away from a still-shocked Cece. He grab his jacket and headed towards the door, he look over his shoulders and gave Cece a wink. "Maybe next time we can watch another movie,ja?"
Maybe Cece wouldnt tell her mother about the dvd. She could always use her brother to get her another dvd for her and Gunther to look at.
"Sure, if you dont mind watching Ron Jeremy." she added with a smirk of her own.
-Fin-