Behold! The fruits of boredum are sweet. So sweet infact, I planted the seed of boredum, watered it, gave it plenty of sunlight, and watched it grow into a marvelous boredum tree. And when the fruits of boredum finally grew, I ate one. Nothing happened. Then, one of them fell from the tree, hit me on the head, and gave me this idea. Yay.

Uzumaki Naruto is used to many odd things happening to him. He had a fox sealed in his stomach. Odd. He became a ninja by breaking the rules. Odd. He's been smacked in the head with enough force to send him to next Tuesday too many times to count, and hasn't cracked his skull yet. Defiantly odd. Though, that last one could just be a testament that maybe thick heads are a good thing. But, Uzumaki Naruto can honestly say, that he has never had anything that was not mint to kill him fall from the sky and hit him on the head.

That is, until this particular moment.

15-year-old Uzumaki Naruto was strolling along the streets of Konaha one warm summer's night. Stomach full of one of the most un-healthy substances on the planet, he was making his way home when he was suddenly knocked off his feet by something smacking the back of his head.

"What the heck!?" Naruto shouted as he picked himself off the ground. Looking around to find he person or thing that hit him, his eyes fell upon a small book on the ground. The simple book intrigued him, so Naruto picked it up. It was nothing more than a slightly dirty composition book. He opened it to a random page, and found it was empty. He flipped through all the pages of the book, absentmindedly wondering why someone would throw an empty notebook at him, when he stumbled upon this message.

To: The finder of this book

From: The author

If you are reading this, you have just fallen into possession of one of the world's greatest objects. This is the Book of Absolutely Everything You Wanted To Know (and some things you didn't). By writing down any question you may have, closing the book, and then opening it again to the same page, you shall find your answer.

Be warned though, this book does not tell the future. It only tells what is, and what has been. It shall never run out of pages, and will never stop working, no matter what you do to it. Go ahead and try! Burn it, shred it, rip the pages out one by one. The book will be fine.

So go forth! Ask all those questions that are burning in your mind, and find the answers you search.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. There are some things that are just too hard to believe.

"A magic book?" he asked himself, "As if. This is probably some prank or something." He closed the book and stared at its worn cover for a moment. "Though," he said after a moment, "It can't hurt to just try it out."

Casting a suspicious glance around the street, Naruto slipped the book into his ninja pack and rushed to his apartment. After locking the door and closing all his windows, Naruto brought out the notebook and re-examined it. Absolutely nothing had changed. Satisfied the book was undamaged; Naruto searched his apartment for a pen. Because the natural order states that you can never find a pen when you need one, it took almost ten minutes for Naruto to find something he could write with.

He opened it to the first page, 'Now, what should I ask?' he thought, 'Should I ask something simple?' Being unsure if the book would even work, Naruto wrote down a quite obvious question.

"Will the book really answer me?"

Following the instructions, Naruto closed the book. He stared at its cover for a moment, wondering how long it would take. That is, if it worked at all. After a moment's hesitation, he re-opened the book to the first page.

And was shocked out of his mind.

Underneath his messy hand writing was a message written neatly and clearly:

"No, this book will not answer you. This is all a dream. You aren't actually reading this message, because books can't write back. OF COURSE IT WILL ANSWER YOU IDIOT!"

Naruto twitched. Not only was a book answering his question, but it was giving him attitude! He hastily replied.

"Well excuse me for not believing that a ratty old notebook would hold infinite wisdom and be able to actually write back! As far as I knew notebooks don't do that!" He then angrily shut the book and opened it to the same page.

"Well then why did you even bother to ask me a question? If books don't write back, then it was stupid of you to even try!"

This made Naruto angry. He quickly replied to this newest message. The conversation went like this:

"Well it did work didn't it? So I was right to ask!"

"But was the point of asking a book if it would reply? Why not ask something useful? Like 'what is the meaning of life?' or 'how can I get a lot of money?' or even, 'does the girl I like think I'm sexy?' BUT NO! You have to ask 'Will the book really answer me?' That's just pathetic man."

"I can't believe I'm being criticized by a notebook! This is so stupid!"

"Then stop asking stupid questions!"

He angrily shut the notebook after this. There was only so much criticism a guy can take from an inanimate object. Shoving the offending book under his bed, Naruto stripped off his shirt and climbed under his covers, trying to put any thought of the notebook out of his mind.

Well? Like it? Hate it? I need your feedback! Please review, or I'll have to continue to write a lousy story.