LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
A/N: Hello! I decided to make a totally different fic! See, I thought of this when I was at summer camp. We were doing all these competition and I got to thinking, 'what would the DBZ characters do if they were place in competition like this?' Some may be out of character. So here it is, enjoy it!
It was a normal day on earth, when suddenly there was a flash of light and everyone on earth who wasn't an earthling was gone!
Goku looked up in confusion when he felt his feet hit solid ground again "Huh? What the…where are we?"
The planet they were on had a red sky and there was no grass, only a hard ground and mountains and strange looking buildings, more circular then earth buildings and stars lit up the sky, there were some of the places in ruins but others were firm and active looking.
Goku looked at this world in confusing but Vegeta felt an odd shiver as he looked around.
"We're back on our planet? How can this be…is it really…Vegetasei?" Vegeta whispered uncertainly as he looked around as well.
"It would appear so…" a voice said behind him.
Both turned in surprise and nearly screamed at the sight of the entire saiyajin race behind them.
Goku gapped "WHOA!!!"
Vegeta stepped forward and did something that made Goku's jaw hit the floor. He bowed to the man who'd just spoken, the one who looked near identical to him, "Father…"
Goku could only watch in complete shock and it wasn't until Vegeta shot a blast at his feet and growled "Kakarrot!" that he realized he was suppose to do the same.
A smirk came to King Vegeta's face "Rise. And perhaps one of you can explain what's going on here."
---
Meanwhile, on another planet not to far away…
All the androids looked up and all around as well.
Their planet was different, it had a navy blue sky, as if the sun was either barely setting or rising, they could see no stars and there were no buildings, not even any wild life, it was a baron planet with only a few trees here and there, however, they did have grass on their ground.
"What the hell-" 17 started to say.
18 looked at her brother in confusion "Where are we?"
16 shrugged "I don't know, last I checked I was dead!"
Almost half the androids on the planet nodded and murmured in agreement for they all to, had been dead.
---
Once again, on another planet…
All the villains that we don't know what the hell they are were equally confused as they looked at their planet. It had a dark sky, no clouds, no sun, no stars, no moon, no nothing! Pitch dark, only lit by strange sort of lampposts and they also had no grass, however, there were lakes all around, almost like springs that would shoot up steam and water. There were a few mountains in their terrain as well though not much else.
"What's going on?" Dodoria asked no one in particular.
Cooler shrugged "Beats me, I was just teasing my darling baby brother in hell when suddenly I was here…"
Freiza crossed his arms and muttered something that went unheard.
King Kold frowned "Now boys, I think the last thing we want is to be against each other."
Zarbon nodded "Yes, we're on an unknown planet and if we're fighting each other anyone could attack us!"
The siblings shot angry glares at one another but said nothing.
---
AND, on the new planet Namek…(You should all know what Namek looks like, don't expect me to explain it to you!)
Piccolo looked around in surprise, the entire Namekian race was gathered outside a big house looking around in confusion and asking one another why they were all there in Namekian.
"Wha…what am I doing back-AGH!"
As he was looking around two people caught his eye, two people that were supposedly never to be seen again!
Kami and Nail were looking at their bodies in utter bewilderment as they stood among the crowd, however, Piccolo's yell made them both look up and they two gasped at the sight of each other.
"KAMI!?"
"NAIL!"
"PICCOLO!"
"PICCOLO!?"
"NAIL!?"
"KAMI?"
"Uh, guys?"
"DENDE?" they all yelled.
He looked slightly confused at the sight of all three of them "Wh-what's going on? Do you have any idea what we're all doing back here…and why you guys aren't fused? I thought it was permanent."
"Do you think we'd be asking ourselves that if we knew?" Piccolo yelled.
Nail frowned "Calm down Piccolo! No need to snap at Dende, he was just asking a GOOD question!"
"Don't you tell me to 'calm down'! As if you have any room to talk about anything!" he yelled angrily.
Kami rubbed his temples "Ugh, Piccolo, calm yourself. Now I'm sure there's a…a logical explanation for this…somewhere…"
"I'm afraid there's not." A new voice said.
All four turned to see the new elder, Muri, smiling at them "Welcome home my brothers."
A wide grin came to Dende's face "MURI!!" and he ran up and hugged him around the middle.
Muri grunted and swayed slightly "Ha, ha, careful young one, I'm not as strong as I once was." He then turned to Nail "Nail…"
Nail bowed respectfully "Great Elder…"
Both Dende and Muri were confused by the formality until he looked up with a smirk "Forgive me for asking but, is one as lowly as I permitted to give my older brother a hug?"
Muri smiled and laughed "Oh, I think we can bend the rules just this once."
Dende smiled happily as the three of them began talking about how much they'd missed and everything else.
Kami smiled to, though kept his distance as they got to catch up, Piccolo, however scoffed "Ugh, I think I might vomit…"
Kami frowned "Ah yes, I keep forgetting how much of a jerk you can be without us canceling it out."
Muri laughed "Yes, yes…you sound like you're making a wonderful guardian Dende. We're all so proud of you here." He said, fondly rubbing his head.
Dende smiled proudly as Muri then turned his attention back to Kami and Piccolo "Ah, and you are, I take it, you are the child of Katatz. The one who escaped during the Great storm."
Kami smiled "I guess that must be so, seeing as I made it to earth with no knowledge of who I was or where I was from or even what I was and my purpose."
Muri smiled as well "Yes well, we welcome you home, brother."
Kami chuckled as he looked around "Brother…how strange…so, this…is home…"
Piccolo rolled his eyes "Alright enough with the sappy stuff already! Now can someone explain what's going on here? I thought I was stuck with those two forever? How'd we get here anyway, let alone get unstuck?"
Muri blinked in surprise while Dende, Kami and Nail glared at him.
"Oh…well, in all honesty, I do not know. We were all brought to this spot from the fields and saw as you four came here. At first I assumed the one called Goku teleported you here, but I do not see him…hm…what could this mean?" he said, thoughtfully looking to the sky.
The rest of Namekians followed in suit and stared up to the sky as if the answer were there.
---
(Sigh) Meanwhile on earth, nobody knew anything had happened…well, except for every earthling that had anything to do with Z force. They had just been at a get-together Bulma was having when suddenly…
Krillen looked around the table where he now sat alone "18?...Marron?"
Chichi was near frantic as she looked around as well "Where'd my family go?"
Bulma looked up "How odd. Vegeta, Trunks and Bura have gone missing as well."
Videl nodded "Yeah, I can't find Gohan or Pan anywhere."
Yamcha frowned "This is to weird guys, I can't even sense them anymore! It's like they went to a whole different planet or something!"
---
Else where…
Gohan, Goten, Pan, Bura, Trunks and Marron where in a place of nowhere it seemed, they were standing there with nothing but white behind them, a couch and a TV screen, kind of like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber (Room of Space and Time).
"Where are we?" Marron asked.
Trunks shrugged as he sat on the couch and tried to turn the TV on "I dunno, but there's nothing on TV. It won't even turn on."
Gohan frowned "How can you even think of TV at a time like this?"
Goten sat down to "Well, it's not like we have anything else to do…"
Suddenly a loud booming voice was heard in all the worlds. The TV flickered on.
"WELCOME! IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED, YOU ARE ALL SENT TO YOUR OWN KINDS!" it said loudly, ringing in the ears of all the people on the planets and booming on the TV.
Everyone everywhere looked up.
Kami frowned slightly "Strange…that voice sounds vaguely familiar…"
Piccolo and Dende nodded for the voice sounded familiar to them as well.
Vegeta (on his planet of course!) frowned "Who the hell are you and what the fck is going on?!"
On all the other planets everyone was surprised to hear Vegeta's yell, it was as if speakers were placed on every planet.
"…WELL! SOMEONE NEEDS TO WORK ON THEIR MANNERS! ANYWAY, YOU HAVE BEEN SENT THERE FOR A REASON! I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT SOME CANNOT PARTISUPATE DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY ARE BOTH HUMAN OR SOMETHING ELSE!" it yelled.
Pan nodded "Ah, that explains why we're here!"
Everyone 'shhhh'ed her and looked back at the screen.
"NOW, WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW IS THAT YOU WILL ALL COMPETE AGAINST EACH OTHER IN MANY VARIOUS COMPATETIONS!"
Bulma looked up to address the voice like Vegeta had done "But what about the old and the sick!"
"Not to mention the weak!" someone in the weird planet yelled.
Everyone but the earthlings laughed at this.
"THE OLD, SICK, YOUNG AND HALF BREADS ARE EXCUSED!" it yelled.
Vegeta looked up again "What about those who think this is a stupid waste of time!"
"YOU GET HARDER WORK!"
All the saiyajins booed and threw things at Vegeta.
"ANYWAY! YOU MUST COMPETE FOR THE LIVES OF YOURSELFS! WE'RE PUTTING THAT 'SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST' THING INTO EFFECT! NOW IF YOU WIN, YOU KEEP YOUR LIVES AND PLANET! YOU LOSE…WELL WE'LL GET TO THAT LATER!" it finished.
Everyone looked slightly (if not more) frightened at this.
"…OK! WELL, LETS GO TO THE FIRST COMPATION!" it said.
Suddenly everyone (with the exception of the half breads) was sent to another planet but this time they were all there. The other races looked at each other in confusion and then at a rope that had five ends, one for each group.
The Z families got back together in the brief pause.
"18! Hon, you know what's goin on here?" Krillen asked his spouse as he came to the android side.
She shrugged "No. I just assumed this was some crazy dream."
And on the saiyajin side, Bulma bowed cautiously to King Vegeta "Um…I'm honored to meet you, sir. Uh, Vegeta speaks so highly of you."
The King sneered then looked back to his son "And this was the best out of all the humans?"
Vegeta sighed "It's not as though there were a wide variety. At least she's got brains to make up for her weak power level."
Once more the King let his eyes fall on Bulma who stiffened under his judging gaze.
He stared at her for a long time, as if trying to see into her soul…slowly he turned with a sigh "Well…she's fine I guess."
Bulma blinked and Vegeta smiled "Thank you father!"
"Um Vegeta-"
"Trust me, that's a really good thing! If he didn't think you were good enough he'd kill you." He whispered causing all the color to drain from his wife's face.
Not to far away Goku led Chichi to his family "Chichi, this is my father Bardock and my brother Raditz. Dad, Raditz, this is Chichi, my wife."
Both looked Chichi over while she wore the most intimidating face she could, warning them not to think she was just some push-over.
Bardock messed with his scooter and slowly smirked "Well…she's not a COMPLETE weakling."
Chichi frowned deeply "Don't call me weak or I'll have to prove you wrong…"
Raditz bust out laughing "Well you certainly know how to pick 'em Kakarrot! She's got some spunk, but she could just be a weakling with big talk."
Chichi's eyes narrowed and her ki spiked…
Bardock glanced at his scooter as the number went up.
In one swift motion Chichi sprang forward and punched Raditz in the cheek! Let me repeat that CHICHI punched RADITZ! And what was more shocking was he staggered back a bit.
Bardock blinked "Wow…"
Raditz grabbed his throbbing face and frowned "WHY YOU-!!!"
Bardock grinned and patted Goku on the back "Nice work son! This is a very strong female earthling you've got here! She'd probably lose in an actual fight but WOW! In that brief second! Very impressive!"
Goku grinned back "Well, having to deal with me AND my sons, most the time alone, I'd figure she'd have to be!"
Bardock smiled and held his hand out to Chichi "Welcome to the family."
Chichi smiled happily at gaining her father-in-law's approval and shook his hand then a reluctant Raditz hand as well.
However, none of the meetings lasted long as suddenly they were all transported back to their own races.
"UP, UP, UP! NO MEETING WITH OTHER SPEICES! NOW, IN THIS FIRST GAME, WE DO A 5 WAY TUG OF WAR! EVERY POPULATION ON ONE SIDE OF EACH ROPE!" it yelled.
Videl fingered their end of the rope "Well, that would explain why the rope's got five ends."
Krillen smiled "Well, if this is just some crazy dream, let's go with it!"
Yamcha nodded "Yeah! It should be fun!"
Though the other races weren't in the conversation, the all pretty much agreed to it.
On the Namek's side they were arranging everyone in a line.
"Ok, so the strongest should be in the back to pull us back but we should still have some strong people up front to help get us back someways." Muri said to the group.
"Well I would be the strongest one if these two were still joined to me. I'll just go in the back anyway." Piccolo said, taking his spot.
Nail and a few other warrior Nameks went to the front while the rest just randomly grabbed a bit of the rope and took their spots.
On the earth side Bulma was addressing the earthlings.
"Ok, we may not be the strongest group but we DO have the most numbers! If we can get one of the strongest in the front and one in the back then we should be able to get this through! Numbers can beat all the odds!" she said.
Hercule stepped forward "Well then, I'll take the front rope!"
The human Z fighters gave him an annoyed look and Videl hit her forehead "Oh dad…"
Bulma gave him a look "Riiiight…Krillen, Yamcha, do rock, paper, scissors to decide who goes in front and who goes in back."
Both nodded "Right."
Hercule skulked away sadly while the rest of the humans looked on in confusion.
The monster race were arguing about who was going to be in the front while the androids calmly organized themselves in order of creation/number.
The saiyajin race just stood by, completely unconcerned.
"ALLLLLL RIGHT! THAT'S ALL THE TIME YOU GET! ARE YOU READY?" the voice yelled.
There was a scream of 'YES' from all races.
"ALRIGHT!!! ON YOUR MARKS…GET SET…GOOOOOO!!!"
It was so sudden no one had any time to think, the saiyajin race won by a landslide.
It didn't even look like they tried to hard!
On minute everyone was holding tight to their end of the ropes, the next, half the human race had lost their arms as well as a few of the other races.
The android and the Nameks were indifferent to this, seeing as all the androids had to do was put their arms back together while the Nameks could just grow their limbs back.
On the earthling side however, near everyone was screaming in agony as blood gushed from their arm socket.
"OP! SORRY! I DIDN'T THINK THEY'D TRY THAT HARD!" the voice shock slightly in fear, despite that, almost the instant it spoke the humans had their limbs back as did a few of the weaker monster things.
The saiyajins were laughing almost uncontrollably at the rest of the race's weakness.
"GUYS, YOU REALLY SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL! THAT'S ONE POINT FOR THE SAIYAJINS!" it yelled.
---
In the empty room, all the half breeds watched with interest.
Pan covered her mouth "Eck! That's disgusting!"
"Well, at least they got their arms back!" Gohan said in an attempt to be helpful.
Goten sighed "Gosh, I don't know who to cheer for!"
"I know, cheer for mom and hurt dad or cheer for dad and get hurt by mom!" Gohan laughed.
Trunks sighed "I get it either way!"
Bra smiled "Not me!"
Pan shrugged "I'll side with dad on this one."
Marron smiled "I'm cheering for my mom! No offense or anything, earthlings are just weak."
---
After the tug of war they were all sent back to separate planets.
Earthling to earth, Namekians back to Namek, Saiyajins back to Vegetasei, etc.
"NEXT COMPATION! WHO CAN MAKE THE BIGGEST MOUTAIN! BEGIN!" it said.
Everyone on all the planets frowned and muttered the same question 'What the hell does that mean?'
Chichi frowned "Well, if not like we can make an actual mountain with our hands!"
Bulma looked around thoughtfully "Hmm…(gasp!) Oh, I know what to do! Guys, all we need to do is knock down all the buildings and put them together!"
Videl smiled "Hey yeah! The voice didn't say what kind of mountain!"
"Good, so how are we gonna knock the buildings down?" Chichi asked.
Everyone was silent at that.
Bulma sighed "Krillen, Yamcha-"
"We're on it." Both said and began running themselves into buildings.
"B-b-but wait, wait! We can't have them knock down our buildings!" a business man from the crowd said nervously.
"Yeah! We need them for food and jobs!" another person piped up.
It wasn't long before near all the humans were agreeing.
Chichi frowned "Oh please! This is probably just a dream anyway so go with it! When we wake up tomorrow all the buildings 'll be fine!"
Another person frowned "Ok, if it is just a dream, how come those two are the only strong ones!?"
"Hey yea! Why can't we fly and break through buildings to?"
"YEAH!"
Chichi scoffed "I said it was A dream, not your guys dream."
Meanwhile on the monster planet…
"Um…well it didn't specify on what we're suppose to be doing…" King Kold muttered.
Suddenly Ginyu stepped forward "What if it meant a mountain of people?"
Everyone looked interested at that.
"You mean like, we got out and kill a bunch of people and pile their bodies here?" Dodoria asked.
"Aw, but destroying the bodies is the best part!"
Ginyu shook his head "No, no, no, not that! It's like…well…here, let us show you. Guys!"
The Ginyu force jumped to attention "Right boss!"
But Ginyu frowned "Oh wait…we'll need another person for the demonstration…YOU!"
A random grunt looked around in surprise "Who? Me?"
"Yes! You're going to help us with this so get over here or I'll kill you!" Ginyu said carelessly.
He ran over quickly "Y-y-y-yes sir!"
Ginyu nodded "Right, ok…GO!"
He, Butta and Reacoom jumped into the air and did a flip before landing next to each other on their hands and knees. Once they landed Jheese nudged the nameless grunt "Hey, just follow my lead and you won't die."
The grunt gulped and nodded before followed Jheese, who jumped up and landed on Butta and Reacoom's back, also on his hands and knees.
And finally Gurd did a fancy jump flip and landed at the very top.
"THIS…is a mountain of people!" Ginyu said proudly.
The rest of the group stared blankly, no one able to come up with anything to say.
Gurd jumped off and they all got back on the ground.
Jheese punched the grunt lightly in the arm "Nice work! Guess we don't kill you after all!"
Ginyu looked back to all the monsters "Ok then! All the bigger people and/or strong people on the bottom. Lets get to it people!"
King Kold looked around the planet "Anyone else got a better idea?"
When no one said a word he sighed "Fine…but whoever gets on my back better not get their shoes on my cape! It's hand-wash only…"
On Vegetasei…
"Ok, so right now we've got the body count to 500…hm…I don't know, father, does the mountain look big enough to you?" Vegeta asked.
King Vegeta put a hand to his chin "Hmmm…better kill 300 more, just in case."
He nodded "Right. ALRIGHT YOU HEARD THE KING! GO OUT AND KILL 300 MORE AND DON'T DESTROY THE BODIES!!!"
Goku frowned "Vegeta! How could you let them do this!?"
"Kakarrot, it's just a dream! And anyway it's not like you're even doing anything to help or stop us!" he said exasperatedly.
He crossed his arms "I'd stop you but every time I try my dad, my brother and Broly push me back!"
Vegeta smirked "Good, then they're doing their jobs!"
Goku sighed and shook his head "Forget it…"
On the android planet…
"I really don't see the point in this." 13 drawled.
16 nodded "I agree. I was made to destroy Goku, not this."
17 smirked "Aw come on guys, where's your sense of fun?"
18 yawned and sat back "Whatever 17, you can do it if you want to, I pass."
Most the other android models agreed.
"OK! TIMES UP! LETS SEE HOW YOU DID!" the voice shouted.
On Vegetasei they were only able to add 277 bodies before time ran out.
"OH MY LORD!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! I SAID MAKE A MOUNAIN NOT CARNAGE CENTER!!!! YOU FAIL!!!"
Vegeta frowned "HEY! You said a MOUNTAIN! It's not our fault you didn't elaborate!"
"UGH…I THINK I MIGHT VOMIT…UGH, MOVING ON…"
Krillen and Yamcha had made a pretty good pile of buildings, though at the moment they were unconscious.
"HMM…ANDROIDS?"
"We didn't bother!" 18 shouted.
It scoffed "WELL YOU'RE NO FUN! OK, MONSTERS?"
On that planet they were still piling up.
"Wait, we're not finished!" Ginyu shouted.
"TOO LATE! I ALREADY SAID TIME'S UP!!! HM…YOU AND THE EARTHLINGS DIDN'T SEEM TO GET MY POINT…"
On planet Namek the entire race stood proudly by a freshly made mountain.
Well, everyone had a hard time at this, but in the end, the Nameks were much more in-tune with the planet and were able to make an actual mountain.
The voice spoke again "EXCELLENT WORK! NAMEKIANS ONE POINT!"
Again, with no warning, all the races were sent to one planet, the same one as the tug of war.
"NEXT…WHO CAN MAKE THE OTHER TEAMS LAUGH THE HARDEST!"
Everyone fell over "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING US!"
"NOPE! NOW WE'LL LET THE SAIYAJINS GO FIRST, MAKE EVERYONE ELSE LAUGH! YOU HAVE A FEW MINUTES TO PREPARE!"
In the blank room Trunks grinned evilly "Oh, this'll be good…watch dad make an ass out of himself…sweet revenge…"
Everyone gave him a shocked look.
"…WHAT! HEY! You didn't spend half your childhood getting your ass kicked by that guy, or have him always put you down!...DON'T JUDGE ME!" he yelled.
"…Rrrrriiiiiggghtt…" they all said before looking back at the screen.
All the races huddled away from everyone else to talk about what they were going to do in order to get the other's to laugh…
Goku looked around at everyone "Well…what's your next brilliant idea?"
"Uhhhhh…" was basically all they said.
To everyone's surprise, Broly stepped forward with a smirk "Don't worry, I got this…"
Every other race was waiting in a clearing and inclined their heads as he came forth, alone.
Broly cleared his throat and the saiyajins held their breaths…
"LAUGH! OR I'LL BLOW UP THIS WHOLE FRICKIN' PLANET!" he said going Legendary Super Saiyajin and getting a blast in his hands ready.
Everyone forced laughed as hard as they could; in fact, some people on earth were trying so hard their 'laughing' turned into crying halfway.
He smirked "Good."
The voice paused "…UHHH…O-KAY…WELL…NEXT UP, MONSTER-ER THINGS-NO WAIT…WHATEVER YOU GUYS ARE!"
Freiza looked around "Father, I think that's us."
King Kold looked like he was thinking hard "Ummm…well I don't know how to be…'funny'…"
Cooler sighed "Well, the monkeys already used threatening…"
Mr. Buu smiled "Buu know! Buu know!"
Everyone waited patiently when suddenly everyone was laughing uncontrollably.
Apparently they snuck up on everyone and tickled them mercilessly.
"OK THAT'S ENOUGH! NEXT NAMEKS!"
"Anyone know anything about comedy?" Dende asked.
Piccolo scoffed and crossed his arms "Of course, we Namekians are naturals at humor!"
Kami frowned "He said comedy, not dry sarcasm."
After a long discussion amongst themselves they all agreed that they would forfeit that one game.
"HMPT! YOU'RE NO FUN! OK, ANDROIDS!"
They did the smartest thing of all.
Everyone was laughing hysterically as laughing gas filled the planet (Yes I'm aware in actuality laugh gas does not make you laugh, but it's fiction so shut up).
"HA, HA, HA! HO-KAY! OK! NEXT ARE HUMANS!"
The humans scurried away from the other races to decide what to do.
Bulma sighed "Ok, this is gonna take some real sacrifices…I know exactly will make them all laugh, someone tie Chichi up just in case…"
Chichi frowned "Wait what?!"
They waited for the humans to show their stuff, then, a man in a strange outfit holding a microphone stepped in front of the vicious looking group.
"Ok…just pretend you're in Vegas…(deep breath)…Hey, ever notice that humans manage to get their planet destroyed almost on a daily basses?"
A few people snickered.
"And what's with our brains! I mean really! We're smart enough to make tons of monuments but to stupid to realize it's destroying our planet!" he said with a fake smile.
More laughed this time.
"We work so hard on everything we do and you guys destroy it in 5 seconds!" he said almost hysterically.
They were roaring laughter.
Chichi growled "GOKU! IF YOU LAUGH I SWEAR-"
"Quick, someone gag her! More laughs we get the better!" someone said.
When the stand-up comic had finished the voice came back.
"AND THE RESULTS…ANDROIDS WIN WITH LAUGHTER!"
Everyone else groaned as they were all sent back to their own planets.
"NOW, NOW, DON'T BE DISCOURGED! YOU HAVE MORE CHANCES! NEXT…WHO HAS THE BEST CHEER!!"
This one was tougher then the rest and the monsters were up first!
On the monster planet…
"Ok, we need to see…who's most creative?" Zarbon asked.
Cooler smirked "Well, we can all say it's not my dear baby brother. Stealing my attacks and all!"
Freiza glared "Shut up Cooler! At least I didn't let the 'hope of the universe' escape!"
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH BEFORE I SHUT IT FOR YOU!" he yelled moving closer.
Freiza met him there "MAKE ME!"
Electric sparks connected their eyes.
King Kold put his hands over his eyes "Oh boy…it's like being in hell only worse! Subordinates are watching…ugh, how humiliating…"
Cooler frowned, "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! GRR!"
He threw an energy ball, Freiza ducked and it hit the back of Buu's head, destroying it.
Buu was able to regenerate it quickly but frowned angrily "HUH? HEY! WHO HIT BUU'S HEAD!?!" Angrily he gathered a ball of ki and threw it randomly.
This angered most there…
After awhile…
"…OK! SO WHAT'S YOUR CHEER CREATURES FROM ANOTHER GALAXCY!"
The screen showed everyone on the monster planet fighting one another…a fist flew at the screen and went blank.
"O…KAAAY…WELL…UH…NEXT!"
The saiyajins gulped.
"What'll we do!?" Goku whined.
Vegeta looked around hopelessly "How should I know?! I don't have any skill in this!!"
Bardock bit his lip "Well we gotta do something, it's our turn!"
The screen was on them.
"Uhh…GO…us?" they said lamely.
"…ER…RIGHT…OK…WELL! NEXT IS THE ANDROIDS!"
13 frowned "Well we certainly don't wanna repeat that kind of performance…"
18 closed her eyes thoughtfully "Hmmm…I think I got something!"
"WELL!" it said.
They all shouted "WE ARE THE ANDROIDS, THE MIGHTY, MIGHTY ANDROIDS!"
The earthlings were outraged.
"NO WAY! YOU STOLE THAT FROM ONE OF OUR TV COMMERTALS!" they yelled.
Androids shouted "DON'T BE BABIES EARTHWEAKS!"
The voice raised "LET'S SETTLE DOWN PEOPLE! OK, NEXT IS THE NAMEKS!"
On Namek….
Dende smiled "Everyone ready?"
Piccolo looked down blushing "This is ridiculous, I refuse to participate!"
"Fine, but if we lose it's your fault." Nail said.
"NOW, LET'S HEAR WHAT YOU GOT!"
They all took a deep breath "WE'RE GREEN, WE'RE MEAN, WE'RE THE ULTIMATE GREEN TEAM, YOU KNOW YOU LOVE US SO JUST SING! repeat"
"AWESOME! REALLY ORIGANAL! NICE ONE!" the voice boomed "NEXT?"
Videl smiled "Ok, together!"
"WE'RE THE EARTHLINGS YES WE ARE, WE THE EARTHLING WILL GO FAR! WE'RE THE BESTEST YES WE ARE! WITH OUR KNOWLEGE WE'LL GO FAR! GOOOO EARTH!" they sang together.
"FANTASTIC! I'M SURE THOSE BRAINS WILL GET YOU FAR! AND THE RESULT…IT'S A TIE! EARTH AND NAMEKS!" it boomed.
It paused as every race either, 'AW'ed 'YAAAAY'ed or nursed their wounds.
Zarbon growled "GREAT! JUST GREAT! NOW, WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO DON'T HAVE POINTS! YOU ASSHOLES BETTER GET A GRIP!"
"Geez! What got into him? When was Zarbon ever competitive?" Dodoria whispered to Kui.
"I HEARD THAT! I DON'T CARE IF YOU ALL DIE, I JUST WANNA WIN, SO GET IT TOGETHER!" he yelled.
With that, he flew away furiously, his cape 'whooshing' behind him.
"…Yeah…so…what got into him?" Dodoria asked.
Everyone shrugged, still in shock with his out-burst.
"OK, LISTEN UP EVERYONE 'CUZ THIS IS IMPORTANT! THE ONE WHO WINS THIS WINS IT ALL! THIS LAST EVENT IS WORTH 5000 POINTS!" it said suddenly.
"YES! This is it!" Zarbon exclaimed.
Everyone jumped "GAH! WHEN'D YOU GET BACK?"
"Ok, so we may have a chance after all…listen, I don't want any of you idiots ruining this, Freiza, Cooler that means you!" he said as though they said nothing.
Freiza frowned "HEY! SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU-"
Cooler covered his mouth and pointed at Zarbon.
At the moment Zarbon looked like if one more thing went wrong he was gonna flip, his hair was sticking up all over and his eyes were wide and frightening.
Freiza nodded and they said no more.
"Right. Ok, everyone else…shut up and listen for directions and you better follow them!" he said, glaring up at the screen.
"-SO NOW, OUR FINAL GAME IS…A RELAY RACE! DIVIDE YOUR PEOPLE INTO 5 GROUPS!" it said.
On every planet there was a zip noise and a red stick was placed in the ground.
"OK! YOU HAVE ALL BEEN GIVEN A STICK! THAT STICK WILL TRAVEL THROUGH ALL THE CHALLENGES! FIRST CHALLENGE, LEMON SWALLOWING! SECOND…BUILDING! THRID…SLIME SWIMMING! FOURTH…MIND GAMES! AND THE LAST ONE…SMART TEST! SO START SEPERATING!!" it said.
On Vegetasei,
Vegeta nodded "Ok…who has the strongest stomach!"
Everyone shrugged.
"Right, Kakarrot, Broly, Bardock, Raditz and Paragus you're up!" he said.
Bardock and Paragus frowned "WHAT!"
Goku smiled "YAY! Father-son bonding all around!"
Broly smirked evilly "Yes, lets re-enacted you death…dad."
Paragus swallowed hard and took a step back.
Goku grinned "Hey dad, who's your favorite son? Huh, huh?"
Raditz scoffed "You of course! It's always the baby!"
Goku frowned "I'm not a baby!"
"You're whining like one!" he shot back.
"DAD! Raditz called me a baby!" Goku said.
Bardock covered his eyes "Is this because I didn't raise them?" he said directed to Vegeta.
Vegeta looked back "Huh?"
"Because if it is, I swear I'll pay more attention to 'em! Honest! Just don't put me in the same group as them!" he said pleadingly.
"Cough, cough Dad…HELP!" one of them yelled from behind.
Bardock didn't look to see who it was but said "Not now Kakarrot, the grown-ups are talking!"
Vegeta stepped away "Um…no, the groups your in are fine…now, uh…we'll need semi strong and creative people for this…Kritch, Magen, Lonpe, Jrimed you all go."
They all either bowed or salted and said "SIR!"
He smiled "I missed that…ok, moving on…we'll need people who use force…Simeno, Herami, Mayi, Kikoine, and Palrie."
Again, "SIR!"
"Hm…ok…we'll need those resistant to what is fixed on the mind…Inioch, Inkewo, Reanoshi, and father, if you're willing…" he added.
King Vegeta sighed "Very well…"
The rest, "SIR!"
"Ok, and I shall do the last one, everyone else cheer us on." he said.
Goku frowned "HEY! How come you get the smart test?"
Everyone looked either threatening, amused, or like Goku was crazy or said an inappropriate word.
Vegeta smirked "What's 444 plus 866/876 with the number 'a' as the variable?"
Everyone, everyone gave him a confused look.
"That's what I thought…" he said.
Basically that happened in all the other worlds.
"OK, HERE'S THE SCORES SO FAR! SAYAINS…1 POINT! HUMANS...1 POINT! NAMEKS…2 POINTS! MONSTERS…DIDALY SQUAT! ANDROIDS…1 POINT! LOOKS LIKE THE NAMEKS ARE IN THE LEAD! BUT THIS NEXT CONTEST WINS THEM ALL! SO GET READY AND DO YOUR BEST! OR YOU'RE PLANET'S DESTROYED!" the voice said.
Goku frowned "Jeez, that's cheerful."
Everyone for the lemon-eating contest was at separate tables and there were at least 300 lemons at each table.
The voice "READY? GO!"
With that everyone scarfed down as many as they could.
A few had to stop to throw up, but the order they finished was, Saiyajins, Monsters, Nameks, Androids and Humans.
They picked the fastest to run with the stick to the next course.
Once the stick was there they thought of what they were gonna make.
"READY? GO!" the voice yelled.
The Saiyajins made a spaceship, Monsters made an empire, Nameks, being the people they were, made a few fields of their special plants, Androids, being geniuses made a giant android…and the humans made a building.
Humans were finished first but the androids were more detailed.
The fastest ran to the next course where everyone was getting ready to swim.
Lucky for the Monsters, they had really good swimmers.
They were first, then Saiyajins, then Nameks, then humans…the androids couldn't what with them being mechanical, they were excused.
Next they had Mind games.
"OK! THE RULES FOR THIS ARE SIMPLE! I'LL SAY A RIDDLE, IF YOU KNOW IT BUZZ IN! WHO EVER GETS 20 POINTS MOVES ON!" it said.
Everyone agreed and they started.
"RIGHT! HERE'S THE FIRST ONE…'A SHORT THEIF WAS LOCKED IN A ROOM WHERE THE DOORS ARE ALL LOCKED, HE CAN'T GET OUT THROUGH THE DOORS, BUT THERE'S A WINDOW WHEN IN THE ROOM…ONLY HE IS TO SHORT TO REACH IT. WHEN THE POLICE COME BACK TO TAKE HIM TO JAIL HE IS GONE, ALL THAT IS LEFT IS A PUDDLE OF WATER UNDER THE WINDOW, HOW DID HE ESCAPE!" the voice boomed.
Vegeta smirked "I don't know, lets ask Krillen what he'd do!"
The place rang with laughter at that comment.
Krillen was furious at this and was determined to get revenge.
"AAAAND, EARTHLINGS!" it said.
Krillen smirked "Obviously, the guy stood on a block of ice which melted before the cops could see what happened."
"CORRECT!" it yelled.
The contest went on like that for a while, until finally the earthlings got 20 points.
Once everyone had caught up everyone moved on.
"AND THE FINAL TEST! SMART TEST! OK, WHAT'S 95 TO THE 200th POWER?" it yelled.
Questions like that are asked.
Finally it was all tied up, one last question determined it all.
"OK, FINAL QUESTION! WHAT…is the meaning of life?" it asked.
This was a really hard one; no one seemed to get it, until an earthling buzzed in.
Everyone gasped, a goth had buzzed in.
"Life has no meaning. We are all alive for one purpose but no one knows what that would be and when you fulfill it, you die." She finished.
"….SUPRISINGLY…that's right, depressing, but right…HUMANS WIN!" it finished.
Krillen jumped up "HA! IN YOUR FACE VEGETA!"
Vegeta clenched his fists "Why you-"
"EVERYONE ELSE LOSES, YOU ALL LOSE YOUR PLANETS AND YOU LIVES, BUH-BYE!" it yelled.
There was a flash and no one could see anything, everyone covered there faces at the blinding light…
---
Goku gasped and nearly jumped out of his bed "Huh? Wha…I…I'm alive?"
Chichi scrunched her eyes shut and slowly opened them "Hm…morning Goku…" she murmured sleepily.
Goku smiled as his brain slowed down "Whew…it was just a dream."
Chichi sat up "(Yawn)…dream? Oh, I had a dream to! It was so strange. All the races of the universe were pitted against each other and this strange voice told us to do all kinds of contests!"
Goku gapped "Really? Me to!"
"Mom, dad!" a voice said outside their door, then Goten opened it with a smile "Guys, you'll never guess this weird dream I had!"
Chichi blinked "Was it by any chance a contest between the species?"
Goten's eyes widened "How'd you know?!"
"We all had the same dream!" Goku said slowly.
Goten frowned "Hm…well, Bulma's having a party, we'll see if it was just us."
Later that day, the Son family was once more at Capsule Corp, last ones to arrive.
"-So then there was a big flash and…and then I woke up!" Bulma finished.
The rest of the guest stared in surprise "That's the dream we all had!"
Gohan turned to his father "Dad, you guys have a dream-"
"About a contest-"
"And a voice-"
"Against all the species?"
The other three nodded and it was quiet for a moment.
"…It's strange though, that voice sounded very familiar…" Piccolo said soft.
Dende nodded "I know! I've heard it before; I just couldn't place it though…"
Goku crossed his arms thoughtfully "It sounded sort of altered…"
"I think we've all heard it…but where?"
They all looked up at the sky thoughtfully.
Meanwhile, back at the lookout…
Mr. Popo was watering the garden as usual.
He looked around before chuckling, then just all out laughing.
"Yes…it was a dream…I finally got back at them all, now they know I'm part of this show! Thanks Shenlong, I owe you one! That has got to be the most fun I've had in decades!" he said to himself then continued his work with a smile.
THE END!
TA DA! Ok, that was completely pointless but I had fun! I figured, 'hey, no one ever knows Mr. Popo is even alive half the time' so I had him mess with all the other characters! Tell me what you think! REVIEW! Oh, and no offence meant to any Goths who may read this…bye!