Author's note: This is a fanfic inspired by a crack RP between me and my friends KC and GG. I just happen to RP all of Yuuhi (god help me lol), while GG RPs Hayato and Kaoru, and KC RPs Shinta. There's no better way to explain the insanity. XD Just.. uhh.. feel free to read and comment and whatnot. Comments are shiny and appreciated, and hopefully won't screw up my formatting this time around.

"This is ridiculous…"

Ippongi Ryuuta leaned against a wall of the gym, eyes flickering about as he took in everyone around him. The Yuuhi gym was rather populated for the afternoon, as it usually was. However, not a single practice was in session. Instead, Doumeki Kai decided to have afternoon tea, and somehow the Asahi side was invited along. Kai, Tanaka Hajime and Kiryuin Kaoru were seated at a table off to the side, chatting away while they knelt on opposite sides with a small tea kettle in the middle of them. Kikuchi Shinta and Saionji Hayato were enjoying their own variant of tea, one that Shinta carried in a thermos.

"Here, Hayato-sempai!" Shinta smiled widely as he held out the thermos for the Asahi leader to take. "I made this just for you!"

Hayato smiled approvingly in return as he took the thermos to pour himself some. "Thank you, Shinta-kun. I love your tea the best."

Ryuuta felt like he was going to be sick. "We have better things we can be doing! Like…" The Yuuhi leader made a face, before he threw his arms up in frustration. "Augh! Forget you all, I'm going to patrol the city."

Hayato raised an eyebrow, glancing over to Ryuuta critically. "You're not staying for tea?" Never mind the terrible insult of the rude brat not wanting to partake in tea time, as there were things of higher rudeness his rival could do, like continue to insult their superiors for organizing such a peaceful afternoon.

It wasn't that Ryuuta didn't want to stay. Casual chatting made him bored, and there was only so much he could take. He narrowed his eyes in return to Hayato's comment. "I don't need tea! There could be someone in trouble out there, and wasting time like this is so pointless!"

The youngest Asahi member blinked up at the firey headed leader of the opposing side. "But, Ryuuta-san, wouldn't we hear them when they call?"

As if to verify his kohai's remark, Kaoru set down his tea mug and brought a hand to his ear dramatically. "I hear the sounds of peace!"

Kai smirked, an expression that settled mainly in his eyes and left the rest of his face untouched and naturally stoic. "I don't hear anything either. Now grab a mug and be quiet. You're interrupting our tea time."

Fighting back the urge to roll his eyes, Ryuuta walked over and begrudgingly grabbed one of the cookies Shinta made for the occasion. It looked good, just as much as it probably tasted good, but Ryuuta couldn't help but turn it over in his hands as if it was radiating some form of terminal disease, and ingesting it would end his life immediately.

Just as he was about to eat one, however, Kaoru reached over and pulled Ryuuta over to his side. The Yuuhi leader's eyes widened, and he almost dropped the cookie, which was soon snatched up and devoured by the president in blue. "Young Yuuhi-chibi! Stay and enjoy yourself! Rejoice in the citizen's peace and happiness over tea!"

Ryuuta was torn between mourning the loss of his cookie and complaining about the dig on his height, although one quickly won presidence over the other. "I'm not short!" He snapped, trying to tug himself free from Kaoru's log of an arm.

"Yes, you are. Don't argue with your superiors, Ippongi." Kai commented dully from across the table. Hayato popped another cookie into his mouth to keep himself from laughing out loud, while Hajime sighed and poured himself more tea from the kettle before standing up to join Hayato and Shinta off to the side.

"The cookies are delicious, Shinta-san." Hajime smiled as he took a sip from his tea, the steam from the mug fogging up his glasses briefly. "Thank you for bringing them."

"He ate my cookie!" Ryuuta snapped in pure defiance. "How am I supposed to know how it tasted?!"

"The cookie was truly astonishing, Shinta-kun!" Kaoru boomed in reply, keeping Ryuuta close to his side in a half hug, half strangle while using a heavy hand to pat the leader's head and mess up the perfectly arched spikes located there.

Shinta beamed, tilting his head forward in a slight bow. "Thank you, everyone!"

Ryuuta growled as he continued to work on trying to pull himself free. "…probably tasted like crap anyway."

Kaoru straightened up as Ryuuta's words caused all amusement to leave his face, gaining more height on the leader as he loomed over him. Kai impassively sipped at his tea, watching the two across from him in faint amusement. "Don't be rude, Ippongi. Shinta is a wonderful cook."

"Shinta-kun's cooking is superb!" Kaoru declared, and Ryuuta was stuck trying so hard not to recoil back in intimidation. Nobody intimidated him! He's stared down Kai countless times before. But Kaoru.. well, Kaoru was…

"…whatever." Ryuuta mumbled, shifting his narrowed eyes to the side. Kaoru tightened his bone crushing grip on the Yuuhi leader, much to his annoyance, keeping the shorter man at his side. With a gasp, Ryuuta tried to pull free again, although he was quickly realizing how much of a fruitless effort this was becoming.

Shinta picked up a box of candies and presented them to Hayato, and then to Hajime. "Here! Please, take one! I made these for you!" Hayato earned himself a mini chocolate éclair, while Hajime received a little piece of chocolate with a heart on it.

Hajime grinned, looking over the adorable little chocolate. "Thank you, Shinta-san." As he debated eating it and framing it on his wall forever, his eyes flicked over to the ruckus his squad leader was making. The idiot in red and black was doing wonders at keeping Hayato mildly entertained as well, and he watched as he took the éclair in his hands, giving his kohai a big smile for his efforts.

Kaoru's arm remained as heavy as possible around Ryuuta's shoulders, which made him grunt and strain with the effort of staying sort of upright. "You must admit that Shinta-kun's cooking is wonderful."

"W-What?! No! I refuse to admit such a thing!" Ryuuta stopped his struggling long enough to hiss between his teeth.

Kai sipped on his mug, which looked comedically small in his large hands. "Don't break him too much, Kaoru."

"You aren't helping!"

To be continued when I get around to working on the other part, anyway.

We hope our insanity amuses you, to say the least.