Finally it made sense.
For the first time, Kendall could actually understand why the fans would write obscenities to the band members' girlfriends. He could even understand the death threats. That did not mean he thought it was right, far from it actually, but he could see why. Finally.
Kendall only had to avert his eyes to the brown haired guy he was so desperately trying to avoid – the one who had his arms tightly gripped onto the blonde girl's hips and the boy's lust-filled eyes – to feel his heart breaking.
An intense sense of hatred bubbled up within him at the sight. Not really.
But his fans knew it, Kendall knew it. There really was no pint denying it; it was jealousy he was feeling. Deep down he knew that, yet he couldn't fully bring himself to admit that. Not even to himself.
Kendall wanted those hands on his body, those eyes on him, but most of all; he wanted those perfect, smooth, pink lips on his own. He wanted Logan. Just like the blonde girl had him, with his lips on –
Wait, what? Kendall thought as he pulled himself out of his thoughts, letting his eyes rest on the couple who were now kissing. Making out.
Kendall felt the little remains of his heart crumble into nothingness and had to fight really hard to keep a straight face, and even harder to repress the tears that were building up.
That thing about if you truly loved someone you wanted them to be happy? Bullshit.
Kendall wanted nothing more but to scream nasty nicknames at the girl, push her away from his man and have him all to himself. But even in his brokenhearted and reckless state, he knew he couldn't do that. He knew Logan wasn't really his, as much as he liked to believe it. So instead, Kendall would avoid Logan like the plague for the rest of the day at least, get a few drinks – or bottles – of something strong, maybe vodka, until he could push away his desire to be with the slightly older boy and had calmed down enough to at least pretend to genuinely be happy for his friend.
Okay, so maybe he really did want Logan to be happy more than he wanted anything else, but right now it hurt like a bitch. And it would most likely hurt him until… well until Kendall could find a way to get over his best friend.
So, Kendall would suck it up and let Logan be happy. Although it would silently be killing him at every loving glance the couple would share, at every touch and all the happy blabbering about Logan's new girlfriend.
Logan blabbered a lot about things that made him happy. Especially if that was a girl. And Kendall as sure he would be facing pure torture.
Daring a second, quick glance at the couple, Kendall felt a brutal stab at the void that used to be his heart and genuinely felt sick with jealousy. Yes, Kendall could definitely see where the fans were coming from, because in all honesty the fans loved them. Really loved them. Just like he loved Logan.
Kendall smiled a humor-less smile. I love Logan, he thought letting the empty bitterness flood his body. He finally admitted it to himself. He was gay and in love with his best friend. Whom had just gotten a girlfriend.
Great.