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The sing is: our july in the rain – he is we

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Why'd I have to go and do you like that?
Thought I'd moved on and you brought me right back,
To the night you took my kiss away from me,
I took yours too then I lost you,

She'd moved on, well at least that is what she had told herself. She had left him, she had gone to Cairo, she had her own team. She'd met Ziva, been to places she had only imagined. She told herself she had moved on from the very next day. Yet now she stood there, in MTAC. She'd done it, reached her aim and made it to the top, she was the director now. Yet as soon as she looked him in the eye it had all come flooding back. The memories of that stuffy attic in Marseilles, where they had first crossed the line from partners to lovers. She remembered Paris the first time where everything had been so perfect, where…where she had first fallen in love with Jethro. Then she was reminded of Postianto and the care free weeks he'd recovered from his wound. Then Russia and the weeks of hell, the week in Serbia in the middle after she'd taken a bullet. That little farmhouse, it had been heaven; it was still where she thought of when she thought of heaven. The final weeks of the mission in Russia where she had lost sight of herself that had been when she realised how much she needed him. Then Paris again, when that job offer had come up. Paris was always, and would always be their city.

But when she saw him, she made that mistake of looking in his eyes and then she remembered it, their first kiss. She remembered it so well. She'd caught his eye, he'd caught hers. Then it had happened, slow, soft but she had known then that there was no going back. They had crossed that line.

She remembered later he had said that she'd taken his breath away, the feeling was mutual. She hadn't been as happy as that in ages. Then she had broken his heart, but her heart had always remained with him. Her heart was still in his hand.

Bring me back to holding hands in the rain,
I swear I'd ease your pain,
Lift you up so you could finally see,
The love you are to me,

As she stood in her office later on, the rain pattered against the window, she thought back to happier times. She remembered as they'd walked down the Seine, hand in hand as they got drenched by the rain. HE hair had been plaster against her face; his hair looked not a lot different. But no matter how wet they were they had smiled on their faces. They'd gone out because he had been down, after a nightmare things had been hard. So they'd gone for a walk and it had rained. But everything had looked up. They had come to a bridge with high sides. She'd been wearing flats and couldn't see over, but he lifted her up and she gazed at the beautiful city they were in.

She would give anything to go back to being that happy, she was still everything to her, even after all these years alone.

The rain still pattered and the lights reflected on the droplets. DC was sleeping now, but NCIS was still a buzz with investigations, crime never slept, just like her heart ache. In her office she was at the top, detached from those below her. She hadn't realised how lonely it would be at the top, and it was. In her heart she regretted leaving him, but she could do nothing now…

I've had time and I've had change,
I've been broken but I still can't explain,
Our July in the rain.

Three years had passed since her first day as director, and not a day had passed where she didn't think about what they had been, what they could have been if she had chosen him and not the job. Tonight though was different, it was coming to an end, everything she knew. She was going to sort out the mistake she had made all those years ago; she was going to get Svetlana before she got Jethro. She would die doing so – she hoped. It seemed morbid to want a death wish, but she was dying any way. Whichever way, she would not be here this time next year. She had a chose, die in a gun fight – brave – or dye of an illness that was taking over her body. She chose the fire fight. But as she took that last breath one thing went through her mind: If she had had her time against he would have changed her mind.

As she took her last breath, at home a letter was lying on her desk for the man she had left.

Dear Jethro,

It's over, I'm over. Do not blame yourself, if I hadn't gone in a fire fight I would have died week and feeble. So not blame yourself. But if I had had my time again I would not have done everything the dame, I would have stayed with you, I'd have changed my goals and lived my years happily.

I'm broken Jethro, have been for years. I cannot explain why I left, but I did, and for that I break your rule and apologise.

But remember our time in July, in the rain. That will be my final thought Jethro – keep it in your mind my love.

Yours forever,

Jen

Xx

He read that letter before completing a decades old mission. As he did he remembered their July in the rain, for it was the most beautiful and amazing time. It was when they were Jen and Jethro and no one else.

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