And… this is what happens when I have a babysitter and way to much free time XP Anyway… who enjoys this quote by myself that I once said? :D
And yeah, yeah, yeah. I know everybody and their brother has written one of these stories, but whatever. And I know I'm a week off, but… XP Who cares? I only saw the newest episode tonight… -_-
Disclaimer: Me no owney. Ye comprehend?
...
time is an illusion, and so is death. you just have to believe in it to make it real.
-OwlheadAthena
...
Of course the training simulation would have some after-affects on everyone. It would make sense; after all, they'd seen each of them be hit with a beam, vaporizing the skin to show their skeleton, before that too crumpled into dust. It's a sight that's hard to forget.
Robin would know. He's already lost a family. One minute, his parents, aunt, uncle and cousin were swinging away on the trapeze in the middle of their world famous routine, happy and free and alive as can be, and then out of nowhere there's the sound of a rope snapping, and in a few minutes he's suddenly an orphan with nowhere to go except into the arms of a complete stranger. Definitely the definition and example of the word overwhelming.
But this time, just when he's certain he's lost everything again, as his friends and the League drop dead one after another, it's like life finally grants him his greatest wish: A reset button
After all, death is only a state of mind.
You just have to believe in it.
So the last sensations Robin's mind can comprehend is the feeling of fire lapping at his clothes and skin, warm and growing steadily hotter until it becomes almost painful, and then the darkness enters as calming and comforting and gentle as ever and Robin feels no more. And for one weird, strange, and almost nice moment, Robin is completely calm. Not happy, but at peace. And at the suddenly cloudy back of his mind, Dick wonders if this is a good thing.
But the dark has always been a safe place, right? In the circus, Dick watched his family preform the move the eventually cost them their lives in the shadows of the tent; his adopted father practically is the dark, Batman is; and the dark is always where the moon shines always never changing and as constant as always and the dark is where no one can see him in a moment of weakness. The darkness is safe.
Right?
Then suddenly, he wakes up and starts breathing; starts living, and it's definitely disorienting, and- look! There's Bruce! And Martian Manhunter, Red Tornado, Captain Marvel, Wally, Artemis, M'Gann, Conner, and Kaldur! They're all alive!
But then everything around him starts crashing in; how M'Gann's sobbing her eyes out, how Captain Marvel's comforting her; how Superboy's clutching Wolf; how Artemis is holding her knees struggling to keep it together. Robin can feel water pooling in his own eyes, mixing in with his sweat, how he feels cold and clammy and how his clothes are sticking to him, how he can feel Batman- Bruce, staring at him from the shadows, and all of this knowledge keeps Robin grounded to his own stone slab.
It's overwhelming, underwhelming; everything but whelming. Disastrous. Horrible. Terrifying.
Then there's explanations to why this happen, how everything went wrong, how it's M'Gann's fault 'but of course no one blames you even though it's all of your fault anyway, dear. Hugs and kisses all around!' Then, because it seems like life wants to torture them, they have to go and debrief after all they've been through. Then, all the mentors are called up and everybody's talking and hugging and being a family, and it almost makes Robin sick because Bruce isn't even looking at him at the moment, to busy being the goddamn Batman to maybe, actually, y'know, talk to him. Then again, Robin can count all the hugs Batman has given to him since he was eight on his two hands.
So Robin slinks off into the shadows and heads towards the gym where he always goes when something emotional happens or other. And he works and works, perfecting his flips and breaking any set records in the gym until he starts leaving blood marks on the punching bags from his knuckles. He then moves onto the rings where he keeps moving and stretching, even enduring the pain if it just keeps his mind on other things, anything but what's going on until even his calluses start cracking a little. When one finally breaks, Dick then moves on to running on the treadmill, pushing himself until he's flat out sprinting on the piece of machine, panting and sweating and wow, it's kinda hard to breathe now. But he just keeps going and going and going because none if this is real, all of this isn't. Happening.
And everything is perfectly fine and dandy and his mom and Alfred are making cookies with Miss Martian in the kitchen of Mt. Justice, and Bruce and Wally are getting Superboy to play video games for the first time while his dad (HIs first, biological one) is watching on the sidelines with Kaldur and Artemis.
At that point, a short, distant screams sounds and for a split second, Dick wonders when he began reliving his family's murder when a pair of strong arms wraps around his waist and drags him back down to reality.
No! Robin mentally screams. Lemme go!
Because he honest to God wants to go back to his fantasy where everything is absolutely, in a sick way, perfect, and it's always sunny and hell, it probably rains ice cream! but then faces -real, living, faces- crowd his line of vision with the same look of -revulsion- horror and -terror; he's a monster- concern and Robin suddenly realizes how awful and weak he must look.
So he does what he always does: He runs. because in the end, he's nothing but a filthy, weak, coward. He sprints towards the exit, running as fast as he can (Even though he perfectly knows that Wally and Barry can easily outrun him and catch him) when suddenly he crashes into a wall of darkness. Then said darkness sprouts a pair of arms and grabs Dick by the shoulders holding him steady, acting like Dick's personal rock to sanity -which he is- and Dick stares up into the eyes of his adopted father.
He wants to punch Batman. He wants to scream, bite, kick, until someone sedates him so he can just. Stop. Living. for a moment. He wants to escape. He's drowning and losing air again and again and again and he's dying over and over but he never stays dead, even though sometimes he wishes-
But he doesn't right now. He can't.
Richard 'Dick' John Grayson looks Batman in the eyes and says the same thing he said almost five years ago, when he first discovered Bruce Wayne's alter-ego: "You didn't save them." Why didn't you?
And Batman stares at him with the thin veil of calmness and look of stern control that barely masks a sea of regret and inner turmoil and depression and regret for all the lives he's never saved, and just replies what he also said almost five years ago: "I know." I… don't know. I'm sorry.
You should've.
I know. I'm sorry.
Stop saying that! It's because of you that they're dead! You were there that night! You were right outside the simulation! You could've save them; all of them!
I know. I've been there. I'm sorry.
… Me too.
I know.
Are you sorry you know?
Yes. I wish I didn't. Sometimes I wish I wasn't Batman. But then, Dick, I look at you… and I'm reminded why I fight the fight. Because I need people like you to remind me of what I've lost, and too give me motivation. Thank you.
I'm… I'm sorry, Bruce. I didn't know.
It's okay, Richard. I know.
Oh, so you know I know you know that I know what you know?
… Don't push it.
Richard 'Dick' John Grayson leaps into his father's arms. Because Batman may stand for a lot of things: The dark, Gotham, the extreme way of fighting criminals, and the darkness of every person's soul.
But for Dick, the dark has always been a safe place.
…
… Well, geez then. Lemme throw bricks out you now, Dick :/ Okay then.
ANYWAY: Oh my lordy, I loved Robin's confession in the new episode ;_; First time Young Justice has gotten Dick's character on the nose, but whatever XP
So I included random Bat-communication. Because that's how I roll, people. And yeah, there was kind of a little flashback in there with the Bat-speech. Because, y'know, I imagined this conversation happened when Dick found out Bruce's identity. SPOILERS FOR ONE OF MY OTHER STORIES DERP. XP
REVIEW. (Please :3)
~OHA