Ello my beautiful peoples!
So, guess what?
I'm still totally grounded, but I'M NOW ALLOWED TO WRITE ON THE WEEK-ENDS!
I know ya'll are happy
This means I'm totally gonna write a bunch of new chappies and fanfics and CATCH UP WITH EVERYTHING!
So, I'm now starting this!
Love it, peoples, for I LOVE YOU!
Dedication- To the Zombie Apocalypse Handbook. Because my bff has one, and it makes me laugh
Disclaimer- Yes, yes, non-ownership and whatnot.
BEGIN!
Chapter 1
Boys are idiots.
Like, make you wanna smash their face in, castrate with a couple of bricks, set their body on fire idiots.
Just ask Temari.
"GAA-CHAAAAAAN!" she screeched up the stairs in the direction of her youngest brother's room. "Wake UUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP!"
She heard him start grumbling, presumably cursing her ass out under his breath, and frowned.
What in God's name was he doing still asleep ten minutes before school started?
Cause, really, in high school, maybe, but they were in college now, and this was bad.
So, when he failed to respond or get out of bed (she would have heard his footsteps- Gaa-Chan always stomps around in the mornings) she was forced to make him.
At least, that was what she planned as her excuse as she tiptoed up the stairs, pillow in hand, grinning wickedly.
Because when you're sister to someone so unresponsive, it's just part of your job.
She pushed his door open slowly, so it wouldn't creak or anything. He was, as she had suspected (Umm, known, bitch) still sleeping in bed, facedown, his arms and legs sprawled all over the place. He was lightly snoring, and it was just so cute that, in most cases, she would have squealed and glomped him (Which, honestly, would have still woken him up, but shit, he had cussed her out under his breath and so therefore would receive no affection) but she had a mission to accomplish, and the rewards for it would just be soooooo much better.
She had to stop herself from cackling as she raised the soaked pillow over her head. This would be epic and hilarious in grand proportions, but only if he didn't suspect anything first.
"I said WAKE UP, LITTLE BROTHER!" she screamed as she brought the pillow down on his head.
Shikamaru sighed as he shuffled sleepily out of his dorm room. Honestly, college was such a drag, and he didn't see why it was necessary for his future anyways.
He just wanted to sleep, and then maybe go to lunch with Ino and Choji or something.
But classes were just so annoying, and the same with studying.
But shit, he didn't need his mom calling him over the phone and screaming at him, because that was more of a drag than going to his classes, so he forced himself to get up and get ready.
Even three cups of coffee weren't enough to make him feel like he had the energy to do it, though.
Temari was a very pleased woman as she drove both herself and he adorable little brother to Konoha University. She kept looking at her fuming brother and smirking evilly.
He was just so cute when he was pissed, she had to smile.
Needless to say, Gaa-Chan had not been happy shortly after her search-and-destroy mission that morning. He shot out of bed, extremely pissed off, only to see the Demon-Who-Makes-Life-Miserable cackling madly and dash down the steps.
He wanted to pursue her. He really did. But, as they say, vengeance is a dish best served cold, and he really did have to get ready.
So, he just got dressed and, as calmly as he could, headed down the steps.
She had been there, waiting for him, dish of some-form-of-supposedly-edible food in hand, smiling victoriously.
Just you wait, he thought. Later, I'm slitting your tires.
Ino was singing as she drove her pretty pretty blue Cadillac (which JUST was the shade of her eyes, so of COURSE Daddy had to get it for her) to the college campus.
Because, yes, it was the first day of her life as a non-lame-o-high-schooler-chick-person-whatever.
This was cause for joy and happiness and rainbow-sunshine glitter.
So, yes, mortals, she would sing. And dance, if so inclined.
Because this was cause for happiness.
She smiled as her pretty blue phone started playing her favorite song, and didn't have to read the caller ID Pink Troll to know who it was.
"Yo, Saku-face, what's up!" she sang into the receiver as she hit the talk button on her (pretty) phone.
"You annoying happy glittery blonde bitch! WHY in the hell did you text bomb my phone at FOUR AM? I WAS SLEEPING YOU KNOW!" The (not so pretty) voice of a very annoyed and sleepy sounding Sakura shouted out of Ino's poor phone.
She grinned as she replied chirpily, "Why, Saku-face, I was excited! It's our first day of college, you know! There was cause and effect for me to send you those happy text messages!"
"You're a dumbass. That's not cause and effect, that's your STUPID and BITCHY impulses taking over."
Ino feigned shock as she pulled into the parking lot. "Why, SAKU-FACE! That was so rude! My impulses are not stupid."
"But you're still a bitch."
Ino sighed sadly as she got out of the car and slung her purse over her shoulder. Sometimes, Sakura was just so mean. And stupid.
"I'm telling your mom you called her a whore."
"…"
"I hate you."
Ino grinned in victory. "Love ya too, Saku-face, now hurry up and get here, already! I need my bff for my rainbow-sunshine happiness to be complete!"
"I really hate you."
And then the phone clicked off, and Ino smiled as she skipped towards the steps where she knew Shikamaru would be trying to waste his time away.
She hated her.
Absolutely, utterly DESPISED her.
Why was she, Sakura Haruno, science-genius and karate protégé, friends with the blonde idiot again?
Oh, wait, that's right, she had no choice.
It was funny, she thought as she locked the door to her dorm room, how she kept forgetting that.
Ino fucking Yamanaka would not let her NOT be her friend.
She narrowed her eyes at the floor as she headed to the front of the school (Where the Blonde Bitch had said shed meet her via text at FOUR A FUCKING M).
Why on EARTH did she put up with the idiotic girly-girly-slutty-sparkly-blonde DUMBASS in the first place?
Oh, that's right, she had been a loser, and Ino decided to TAKE ADVANTAGE of her and forced her to be her new bff/side-kick/slave girl/toy to play with and disturb.
Sakura really hated life. And blonde dumbasses.
Particularly of the bitchy variety.
Not the car, we need that to get to and from places. So I'll set her room on fire instead. Preferably while she's sleeping in it. See how she likes HER rest disturbed, Gaara thought venomously as they headed towards the school entrance.
Temari was still in her obnoxiously happy-happy-I-Totally-Kicked-Your-Ass mood, and Gaara utterly despised her for it.
Murderous thoughts were going through his head, and she would not fucking quit grinning at him.
He hated her. And her grinning. And her piece-of-shit car.
Scratch the bedroom idea. He was totally blowing up her car.
Because he hated it, duh.
And her. Yes, he would blow her up in it.
A win-win-win situation on his part.
He smirked psychotically as he trailed behind her towards the steps. This time, she would fucking PAY!
Shikamaru groaned as he heard the high-pitched squeal that could only belong to one person.
And he kinda wilted as that one person glomped him from behind.
Because, really, how in the hell was he supposed to daydream and hopefully nod off if the blonde psycho was screaming and flailing and crushing his throat?
He couldn't, and that was why she was Such a DRAG.
Not that she would give a fuck if he told her so.
So he didn't, and just sighed as he kind of turned his head over his shoulder to look at her. "Morning, Ino."
She was giggling. And sparkling. And it was just too early for all that. "Morning, Maru-Chan! How are you this happy day?"
He rolled his eyes. Honestly, how long had she known him?
He wasn't exactly a morning person. Or an afternoon person. Or night one, either.
He really just wasn't a day/night person.
And she knew it.
"I'm really tired. And you're crushing my throat. And I was just about to nod off. And your sparkling is giving me a headache. So not very good," he grumbled sarcastically.
She pouted at him and released her hold on his neck. "You make me sad, Maru-Chan. Your laziness and sluggy outlook make my rainbow-sunshine-happiness dissipate."
He actually grinned down at her. "Good. You need to learn to reign yourself in every once in a while. The world will be grateful for it."
She stuck her tongue out at him, but her sulky mood completely vanished when Sakura's obnoxiously bright pink head came into view.
She was stomping, which, Shikamaru knew, meant she was PISSED.
And that meant more screaming, which meant he would not get a chance to doze off before his class started.
He really hated his life, sometimes. When he had the energy to care.
Ino grinned as the fuming Saku-face came into view.
Oh, the joys of being her were too numerous to count.
So, since counting had a tendency to make her head hurt (Because psychology shouldn't involve too much math) she didn't bother counting out her many blessings.
She was just happy she alone had them.
"You… IDIOT!" The red-in-the-face Sakura growled out as she reached them. She pointedly ignored Shikamaru, and he pointedly ignored her.
Right then, she was pissed, so nothing else mattered.
"I hate you, you blonde bitchy PSYCHOPATH who sends me text messages at FOUR A FUCKING M when I'm trying to sleep and then am SHOCKED OUT OF IT, and then when I try to go BACK to sleep, YOU SEND ME LIKE, FIFTY MORE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" She screeched at her (smiling moronically) best friend.
Ino grinned at her. She was totally going to have fun before her first class started. "Why, NOTHING is wrong with me, silly Saku-face! I was simply sharing my joy and excitement with you!" She smirked and glomped her.
"Because I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOOOUUU!"
"…"
Shikamaru started snickering. Really, Ino just had that way of pushing people's buttons, and Sakura was just too easily pissed off. At least HE could deal with the Psycho one's insane outburst and happy giggle-gasms, but Sakura…
Well, Sakura was Sakura, and therefore couldn't handle much of ANYTHING remotely annoying.
He sighed as they started yapping at each other, Sakura angrily, and Ino as giggly glittery happy as usual.
He really wanted to sleep.
But he knew these two psycho chicks wouldn't let him.
Gaara was pulled out of his murderous thoughts when the screaming started.
He and Temari had been walking towards the entrance when two girls started shouting at each other.
One was rather red in the face and shouting obscene threats (Which Gaara completely approved of) and the other was smiling and just really SINGING loudly in an attempt to block the other one out.
It was causing a bit of a scene, and people (Like his idiotic older sister) were stopping and staring.
He sighed and tried to push past them, but that kind of grabbed the blonde one's attention.
It was rather sudden, she went from shutting her eyes and singing to opening her eyes and glaring to WIDENING her eyes and drooling in all of two seconds.
He really didn't care; he just wanted to get to class (and away from the Demon-Who-Makes-Life-Miserable) without being annoyed by anyone.
But no, for some reason, females were out to get him.
Particularly of the blonde variety.
Oh.
Em.
Jesus.
It was a yummy. More importantly, it was a yummy yummy, and Ino went from Annoying BFF to Drooling Fangirl in like, two seconds.
And she was sooo happy about it.
She glomped Sakura (Who had calmed down just the tiniest bit) and began giggling.
Sakura sighed. She knew what THAT giggle meant when it came from Ino.
She looked at the back of the red-head who had nudged her friend out of his way.
Honestly, why was she friends with her again?
"Saku-face, it's a yummy! And he's a PRETTY yummy too!" Ino squealed as she began suffocating Sakura.
Shikamaru sighed and started heading to class.
When Ino got like this, it was a good idea for all males to vacate the area.
ASAP.
They didn't even acknowledge him as he walked away.
YAYZ! CLIFFY (ish)
I love you all.
So much.
Now, prove that the affection is returned and REVIEW!