As Fa Deng sat on the base of the imposing Great Stone Dragon Statue, he stared glumly at his hands. There was a scurrying noise and suddenly, Mushu was hanging over his shoulder.
"Well there's my warrior! I been lookin' all over China for you! Your Mama been lookin' for you too! She's been cooking up your favorite dinner in honor of your return from the War! Big juicy golden pheasant all nice and spicy just the way you...you..." Mushu's voice faltered as he looked at Deng's face. "You like it." He slithered onto Deng's knee. "What's the matter with you? I ain't never seen a face that glum in all my life!"
Deng sighed and folded his fingers. "I'm just a little down today that's all."
Mushu jammed his hands on his scaly hips. "What for? You just got back! Everybody's happy to see you! Got to knock some Wu heads together! You might've not made general but you were an...adequate soldier." Deng gave him a look. "Well you're alive, ain't you? I got you through! And it is a beautiful day! Sun is shining, birds are singing!" Mushu inhaled deeply, flaring his nostrils. "Take it all in! It's Spring! Or is it Autumn? Point is, it is gorgeous out! So why are you Mr. Mopey out here all by your lonesome?"
"All right." At this Deng stretched out his legs and swung them over the base of the statue. "You remember Meifeng right?"
"'Course I remember your girl, Meifeng. Nice name. Means 'Beautiful Wind.' Better than 'Breaking Wind' if you catch my drift." Mushu chuckled. Deng didn't. "So that's what this is about? Girl trouble? You and Windy have a spat?"
"Not exactly. She promised to wait for me after the War and..."
"And...Go on."
"Turns out," continued Deng. "She's been waiting...with Sun Xiao. She dumped me, Mushu."
"What?" Mushu shrieked, jumping into the air at the news. "Oh no, no, no! This ain't right! You gotta do something!"
"Like what? I saw them together. They looked really happy. I don't think I can't ruin her happiness if she really loves the guy."
"So you're just giving up?" Mushu shouted as he climbed onto Deng's chest and grabbed him by the mustache. "What kind of man are you?" Deng shrugged haplessly and Mushu just groaned. "You gotta win her back!"
"But she doesn't want me!"
"That's not important! What's important is no overcooked egg noodle is stealing anything from a member of the Fa family while I'm protecting them!" Mushu shook his claw and bellowed toward the heavens, "IN THE NAME OF THE FA FOREFATHERS WE SHALL BE AVENGED! THE CRIES OF THOSE WHO WRONGED US WILL BE AS SWEET AS THE LYCHEE FRUIT AND FLOW LIKE THE TEARFUL RIVER! REVENGE I SAY! REVENGE!"
Deng just stared at the little dragon, looking dazed.
Mushu turned to him. "You know what you gotta do know, don't you?" Deng shrugged again. "Come on Deng, I know you've always been a few silk threads short of a robe but even you can figure this out! You've..."
Deng stared blankly. "I've..."
Mushu tried again. "You've got toooo..."
"I've got toooo..." Deng paused. "Go...eat pheasant?"
"NO!" Mushu hollered, jumping up and down. "You've got to fight! You gotta go fight that backstabbing, girlfriend taking Sun Xiao for Meifeng's hand!"
A light finally dawned in Deng's eyes. "Yeah...yeah!" He jumped down off the statue. "I should fight!"
"Yes!" Mushu cheered, climbing onto Deng's left shoulder. "Show him who's boss!"
"Meifeng was my girl!"
"And who went behind your back while you were risking life and limb on the battle field?"
"Sun Xiao!"
"And who's butt are you gonna kick from here to the East China Sea?"
"SUN XIAO!" Deng stopped and looked at the Dragon perched on his shoulder. "You really think I've got a chance?"
"Do you have a chance?" Mushu laughed mockingly. "Come on, you know Sun Xiao! He's a wussy! A mama's boy! Always practicing his calligraphy and writing poetry and cutting stuff out of red paper! You're a soldier, a warrior! You've seen actual battle! You'll wipe the floor with him!"
Mushu jumped off Deng's shoulder and onto the ground. As he watched his charge run off, brimming with new confidence, the Dragon muttered to himself, "'Course his Daddy is that Sun Tzu guy...But I'm sure that won't make any difference..."