(a/n- Here is the first chapter of "How to raise a demi-Saiyan" Hope you enjoy it it was fun to write a regular humor kind of thing.)
The birth of a "Son"
Gohan sighed as he tapped his pencil against his desk. It was time like these that he wished his father had lived. He sighed again placing his head on the desk lazily reading the worksheet aloud.
"Chloride ion (such as from common salt) happens to be one of the best-known corrosion compounds fit into sub-categories of the above. For example: chlorine gas. If you leave copper around chlorine gas, the copper will slowly corrode. There is moisture in the air, so some molecules of chlorine will dissolve in some microscopic droplets of water vapor and go to work on the surface of the metal. When that happens, you will have ions that can chemically attack the metal. The same thing goes for sulfur compounds. These can react with the coin becau-"
"GOOOOOOOOHAAAAAAAAAN!"
Gohan jumped up at the sound of his mother's screams and dashed out the room.
"Mom! Mom! What is it, are you alri-" He stopped mid sentence and his eyes widened at the sight of his mother on the floor holding her swollen stomach. She looked up and smiled tiredly at him.
"The baby's coming." she whispered. He jumped up instantly and ran to the phone.
*~At the Briefs~*
Vegeta growled and slammed down his sandwich.
"WOMAN! The damned contraption of yours is ringing again!" He yelled.
"THEN ANSWER IT! AND IT'S A PHONE!" Vegeta grumbled in annoyance and stomped over to the phone.
"How does the damn thing work?" he mumbled picking it up. "What the hell do you want?" he demanded into the receiver.
"V- Vegeta? Is B- Bulma there? My mom is-"
"AHHHH! GOOHAAAN! G- GET BULMA- AHHHHH!"
Vegeta stared in confusion at the phone for a second before figuring out what was happening.
"WOMAN! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE, THE BRAT IS COMING!"
Bulma was there in a few seconds. She snatched the phone from a very pissed-off Vegeta and began shouting instructions at Gohan.
"- and we'll be there in a few minutes. Okay, don't forge- VEGETA!" She yelled when he slammed down the phone.
"Woman." he said calmly, "By "we", you better mean you and the Brat." She glared at him and smiled.
"No. by we, I mean You, Me and Trunks." She smirked taking his hand in hers. She began walking up the stairs when he pulled his hand back and crossed both arms across his chest.
"I do not take orders from you Woman." he stated.
"Oh yes you do." She said putting her hands on her hips, "That is, unless you want to spent 7 restless nights on the couch?"
"Woman! I will not be controlled!"
*~At the Hospital~*
The doctor stepped out of the room and Bulma stood up.
"How much longer doctor?" Bulma questioned.
Vegeta rolled his eyes.
"You watch too many soap opera's, Woman." he mumbled.
"Don't act like you don't enjoy them too, 'Geta." She said winking. Vegeta blushed slightly and looked away mumbling to himself.
"Umm…. The baby should be coming soon but we advise that someone go in there and coach her through it," The doctor began when Bulma had turned back to him. "So if the Husband would just come here we could begi-"
At this point the had been motioning to a very disgusted Vegeta.
"The harpy is not my woman!" he boomed angrily. The pale doctor looked horrified at the man who was now standing before him.
"Vegeta calm down," Bulma said touching his tensed arm.
"I'll go in Bulma." Gohan said suddenly standing. Bulma felt her eyes filling with tears.
"Oh, Gohan you don't have to do that! You're much to young t-" Gohan put up a hand silencing her.
"I have to. Dad would have wanted me to." He said quietly going into the room.
***
"AHHHHHH!" The delivery room was filled with Chi-Chi's screams as well as they doctors.
"I see the head! I see the head! It… has… a full head of hair?" one of the doctors called in confusion.
Gohan, clenching his teeth to keep his scream of pain from his mother crushing his hand, glanced to the front of the room where the doctors were screaming.
"WHOA!" he yelled looking straight ahead again but with wide eyes.
'Note to self: Never look there again! I think I'm gonna puke!'
"Just one more push, Mrs. Son!" The doctor urged.
"PUSH WHAT! DAMNIT, I'LL NEVER LET THAT NO GOOD SAIYAN TOUCH ME AGAIN!"
Gohan sighed and patted his mothers hand with his other but bit down on his tongue when she began to squeeze his hand again.
'Hard to believe Mom doesn't train anymore!' He thought trying to ignore the pain in his hand.
"That's it! We are all do- THIS CHILD HAS A TAIL?"
"Yes!" Gohan said speaking up remembering what his mother told him. It was a shame that they couldn't get the same Doctor that delivered Gohan. "It… umm… runs in the family(?) umm... but don't cut it off, we'll do that." Gohan answered not yet looking at the baby. He looked down at his mother. She sighed and then smiled up at him.
"They can come in now." She told him while motioning to the doctor to give her the baby.
Gohan walked to the door and opened it hesitantly.
"Hey, Bulma! Vegeta! You can come in now!" he whispered loudly to them.
The three (Trunks) entered the room and walked to Chi-Chi. Gohan looked surprised upon hearing his mother crying.
"Mom, what is it?" he asked running to her bedside. Then he looked at the baby she held and understood her tears. "Oh… Mom." he whispered quietly as tears began to form in his eyes.
Bulma and Vegeta both froze after seeing the baby.
'The brat… looks just like Kakarrott…'
Bulma blinked hearing Vegeta's thought's through their bond, turned to him and wept into his chest. Taken by surprise Vegeta brought a hand to her back for comfort but did not press for she was already probably crushing poor trunks against his chest.
The doctor came in the room, and without looking up from his notebook spoke.
"What is the child's name?" he questioned. Chi-Chi looked up at the baby's face as did the rest of them. She then smiled as the baby continued to cry into her chest. She looked up at the doctor.
"Goten." She said quietly. The doctor nodded leaving the room. Bulma walked up to the bed.
"Oh Chi-Chi he's adorable!" she said smiling. She ruffled Gohan's hair. "Look's like you have a little brother." Gohan smiled up at her. Bulma looked over at Vegeta.
"Come on over Vegeta!" she said to him. He said nothing but stepped up to the bed and stared at the child. Goten stopped crying and looked up at him… he then a completely random thing and began to… laugh(?)!
Vegeta stared in confusion at Goten as the rest of them began to laugh also.
"What's wrong Vegeta, Cat got your tongue?" Bulma teased.
"Of course a cat doesn't have my tongue! How the hell could a cat get my tongue?" He growled back in annoyance and confusion.
Everyone began to laugh again- even Trunks and Goten- except Vegeta who looked at them all in confusion.
"Damnit, you earthlings are too confusing..." He mumbled.
(A/n- That was fun to write! Didn't take long either! I hope you enjoy, this story will not be updated as frequently as others but will be updated once or twice every two weeks. Please review!)