Well… this is my fifth fan fiction. First there was The Dead End Mystery, then Amy is the Centerfold, Paper Luigi, and the failed attempt of The Dead End Crisis. Finally I've decided to pick up the pieces and redeem myself. Ladies and gents, this is my Sonic Christmas special. Oh, and please review this, I deserve it. My mouse recently burnt out, and now I'm using my keyboard to navigate my computer. By the way, does anyone know how to exit Works help? I accidentally pressed F1 and I can't get it down! (by the way, I started to write this in May, that's why I constantly refer to May as the current month

DISCLAIMER!!!(It's in bold… I guess that makes it important…) The Following characters are owned by Sega and Sonic Team, though I do not own them even though I wish I did… in fact, me using them shows how screwed up my imagination is if I can't come up with real characters. Oh, and I don't own Nintendo's Wii, or Sony's Playstation3, I actually feel sorry for the guy that owns Sony though… Oh… I don't Own My Chemical Romance or Wal-Mart

A Sonic Christmas Special

PROLOGUE:

Yes, I'm aware, It's May. Wanna fight about it?

OR:

The Playstation3,

"Eh-Hem." Sonic said stepping up to the microphone. He stood in front of a microphone overlooking a big crowd. "I'm glad that you were all able to make it to the first ever Station Square Christmas Ball. Now sit back ladies and… wait wait wait! Why the hell are we releasing the Christmas Special in May?!" Sonic asked.

"So the DVD can come out around Christmas!" Tails called from the other side of the curtain.

"That's stupid! Why not release it AT Christmas?"

"Because if we release it at Christmas, the DVD comes out in the Summer!"

"I don't get it, all the production company cares about is money then, right? They're making a profit off of Christmas! What money grubbing bastards produced this?!"

"Disney."

"Oh… makes sense… anyway… ladies and gentleman, without further ado, I present, The Sonic Christmas Special!"

Thursday, November 16th 2006: 39 Days Till Christmas

"Sonic! GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS! YOU'RE HOLDING UP THE LINE!!!" Knuckles grabbed Sonic and pulled him up.

"What the hell Knuck, I was sleepin'… well not anymore… that was a weird dream… something about a… Christmas special…"

"Shut up and move, look at that huge line!" Knuckles yelled. Sonic turned around and gasped, the line nearly stretched to the end of the Wal-Mart parking lot!

"Damn Knuckles… how many people showed up for this thing!" Sonic exclaimed.

"It's only the biggest thing in video game history! The PS3 has the best graphics as compared to any system out there! It'll be so awesome… and I'm gonna get the new game based on MY life!" Knuckles chortled in excitement.

"First of all, it's about me, second, do you have any idea how ridiculous you guys are being! You had to work at that top secret government factory to get enough money!" Sonic objected.

"Oh please, we're all perfectly normal people! Besides! There was nothing wrong with that factory! All it did was give me that black rash!"

"Come on! No factory should have Bubonic, Ebola, nuclear missile, warfare, mass death, holocaust, extreme pollutant, laxative, AIDS, fluffy teddy bears, and pretty flowers in it's name!"

"There was nothing wrong with the Nuclear Warfare Missile Enhanced with the Bubonic and Ebola Plagues Designed to Cause Mass Death and Possibly a Holocaust/ Chocolate Factory/Factory Where Laxatives are Made out of Pretty Flowers and Teddy Bears/ Also Where People can Dump Extreme Pollutants Into Our Fresh Waters! NWMEBandEPDCMDANDPH/CF/FWLMPFTB/AWPDEPIOFW for short." Knuckles defended.

"NWMEBandEPDCMDANDPH/CF/FWLMPFTB/AWPDEPIOFW is clearly the work of the devil! Besides, watch this," Sonic turned around and asked the man behind him, "So, how'd you get the money for you're PS3?"

"Well," He said. "I hacked my family up, and sold their mutilated bodies to a cannibalistic island for all their gold. I sold the gold on EBay. Then I went to a gay bar and stuck my head up this guy's ass for 200 dollars, unfortunately, he lied to me and there was no money up there. So I had to spend most of my money to get his ass surgically removed, I was up there for two whole weeks, the food was good though… Well when I got back to my house, I sold all my stuff including my home and car and every personal possession I had. And… here I am…" Sonic winced.

"Wait, if you don't have a house… where're you gonna play the PS3?" Knuckles asked.

"There's no reason left to live!" The man screamed running out of the line and into the middle of the parking where he blew up.

"Told you! You're all crazy!" Sonic Screamed.

"Ladies and gentleman, it is twelve A.M., please enter the doors and calmly make your way to the electronics." a women on the intercom announced.

"It's about time Knuck…" Sonic trailed off when he noticed Knuckles and everyone else in the parking lot were gone.

Friday, November 17th 2006: 38 Days Till Christmas

Amy walked down the sidewalk. The bright morning sun beat down on her neck. She'd had a long time to think. Tears rolled down her cheek. "Ever since I was a little girl I've chased Sonic, just to get knocked down, my heart, stepped on and crushed! But I'm not giving up! There's always someone out there for everyone!" Amy turned around and saw Shadow. "Oh… Shadow… hey…"

"High Amy… I couldn't help but overhear your little problem. Your going at it the wrong way! You know what they say! Suicide is painless." Shadow…uh… helped Amy.

"How dare you! I couldn't kill anyone, let alone myself!" Amy screamed."

"Whatever, your loss." Shadow then walked off onto the crosswalk. He didn't notice the bus being driven by a suicidal convict about to plow into him.

"Shadow, no!" Amy screamed. A man in a dark cloak walked up.

"Neat, blood," he said. "I wonder who died… oh crap… that's shadow isn't it."

"He's dead no!" Amy cried.

"Nah, don't worry, I won't kill him, he's under contract." the dark man said.

"What?" Amy asked.

"Oh, I'm the Grim Reaper. It's time for me to leave this world, so I had Shadow sign a contract to be the new Grim Reaper. But now I'm afraid he's gonna be in the hospital for a while so I need someone to cover for him…hm…you might do well."

Tails visited Shadow in the hospital later on that day.

"Hey Shadow… Hey what do you think about global warming?" Tails asked.

"Global Whatty?!"

"Global warming, the Earth somehow heating itself, causing temperatures to rise."

"What's this… Ear-th you speak of?" Shadow asked.

"Dumb ass."

"Maria!" Shadow screamed.

"Yeah… what ever, hey! What are your views on Iraq?" Tails asked.

"Well… I think it's a deserty place…"

"Never mind Shadow! Man this world's in disrepair and I can't do a damn thing about it!" Tails sobbed.

"Hey buddy, let me cheer you up. Here's a little inspirational story for ya," Shadow started. "Back when I served in the war in… 1812... I was attacked by a bunch of Nazis, Vietnamese. They ate my friend Billy Joel, which inspired him to write that song about saying good night to Saigon. Damn cannibals. Anyway… little did they know the Iraqis were waiting just outside the perimeter with their tomahawks, ready to scalp 'em. I knew I had a problem on my hands. Luckily the British came in with their muskets and bayonets and killed them all. So my good friend, Benjamin Franklin, went to France to screw some whores and get some help to fight off the British."

"Wait a minute…I thought you said the British helped you." Tails objected.

"Screw you, I'm telling the story, bastard. But before old Benny could get back, the Celts came at our left flank, led by Mel Gibson. He chopped my arm off and threw it to the sea, where Black Beard waited for my retreat…he was a cannibal too. Out of nowhere, my good friend, Franklin Delano Roosevelt showed up, flying in the Boxcar (it's a plane by the way), and he dropped his atom bomb right on top of Madagascar. And that's how the West was won, Jimmy Boy. That's how the West was won." Shadow finished.

"Wow…I almost thought that Abraham Lincoln would make an appearance in that one." Tails joked.

"He was on vacation. Bermuda. We convinced him to go before the war began, because he seriously needed to work on his tan."

"You know Shadow! Your incredibly historically incorrect story has inspired me! I'm going to make a Christmas miracle!"

"Global Whatty?"

That's the end of the first chapter. I hope you can all see that things are going to get pretty hectic. Of coarse Eggman will come in, but so far Shadow's doing most of the damage. Kudos to my sister for helping me out with shadows story (She did it indirectly) Please review.

NEXT CHAPTER: Tails punches a baby!