Setting: August 13,1967
Characters: GREASERS OTHERS
Ponyboy Curtis Dr. Sandra Fitzpatrick
Sodapop Curtis Lila Jones
Darrel Curtis Michele Brooks
Announcer
SCENE I
ANNOUNCER: Here is Centerville Talks with your hosts Lila Jones and Michele Brooks.
LILA: Hello and welcome to Centerville Talks.
MICHELE: Today we have some special guests you've probably read plenty about. We know how reporters mix things around, so we're going to get to the truth; the real deal on Ponyboy, Sodapop, and Darrel Curtis.
(Audience claps, and wolf whistles as Soda, Pony, and Darry sit in chairs)
DARRY: Y'all can call us Soda, Pony, and Darry.
MICHELE: Clam down, they haven't really said anything! Boys, I have a question just for the ladies out there: are y'all single?
LILA: Michele! That is NOT on the list.
MICHELE: But it's important, Lila.
PONY (blushes): Well I'm only fourteen, so no lady. None of them are that, um, well I ain't interested yet, ya know.
DARRY: Nope, though I am ready. (Flexes muscles to look like oversized baseballs as audience whistles)
SODA: I had a girl, Sandy, still tryin' to get over her. I really thought I was gonna marry her someday, but she didn't. So I guess I am looking for a new broad. (trys to grin)
LILA: Okay, now to the questions that are actually written down. Did you ever hear about the boys' home?
(Pony shudders)
DARRY: Yeah, we heard and we don't like it one bit. We're family.
MICHELE: You are not going to like what's coming after the break.
(Goes to commercial)
SCENE II
LILA: We are happy to be back with Pony, Soda, and Darry Curtis.
MICHELE (fake cheer): And equally happy to bring out our new guest Dr. Sandra Fitzpatrick, a social worker.
SODA (stands so fast his chair flips): What is this? Do you want us in a home? Darry is a fine guardian.
PONY: Soda calm down, they haven't said anything.
(Muttering Soda picks up his chair and flops down. Sandra walks out and no one claps)
MICHELE: Hello Sandra I hear you have a few questions few questions for the boys we can get to them after a few more of ours.
SANDRA: Thank-you.
LILA: So… Darry I heard you got a scholarship to college for football, is this true?
DARRY: Well you don't get muscles like these by eating chocolate cake and lazing around.
SODA: Ya, you get them from eating chocolate cake and workin' two jobs!
DARRY (affectionately pats Soda): Exactly, little buddy. I got that scholarship, but never went. I wanted to keep Pony in school, he's gonna be somethin' big someday, like Paul Newman big.
PONY (blushes): Aw Darry.
SANDRA: So an uneducated boy is watching two younger kids? They look up to you and you're a dropout.
SODA: I'm the only dropout here. Darry couldn't go to college; we didn't have enough money. Get it right lady.
SANDRA: You find him to be an okay guardian?
PONY: He's better than two headstones and that's all we have of our parents! Darry pushes us to succeed in life. He does one-on-one things with us. Every day he looks over my math and makes me redo the problems I got wrong. No boys' home would do that; so shut your trap before I shut it for you!
(Sandra gets a scared look in her eyes as Darry and Soda snicker)
DARRY: Pony we all know you would be the last to do that to anyone.
MICHELE: Commercial time.
(Cuts to commercial)
SCENE III
LILA: We're still here with Pony, Soda, Darry, and Dr. Sandra Fitzpatrick though I'm sure one of them is going to go to the hospital before this show ends. Anyways, how is your relationship with each other?
SODA: I hold this crazy family together by listening to their endless problems. They gotta love me, it's in my genes.
DARRY: They better love me I could just give Sandra the OK to take you away.
PONY: I'm the baby, I need people to watch me, and feed me. They do that for me.
SANDRA: Oh really. Didn't this whole fiasco start because you were being abused?
PONY: The only one in our gang ever abused was Johnny and, well, he's away from that now. (Looks up with sorrow)
MICHELE: It was reported you left because of abuse.
DARRY: Wasn't it you who said reporters blow things up? It was a one-time thing; Pony and I talked it out.
SODA: Ya, they used to fight like Mickey and the other horses, but they stopped for me.
SANDRA: Their fighting affected you also. Darry how could you be and appropriate parental figure?
PONY: He's never smoked, we all smoke. That's pretty appropriate, right?
LILA: Soda, back to Mickey, do you still have him?
SODA: He was sold. He was a dark-gold buckskin, completely sassy and ornery. I used to say, "I got me a ornery pony."
MICHELE: I've always wanted a white horse. I thought I'd look majestic on one.
LILA: Soda, you must have looked majestic or like a god.
DARRY (messes up Soda's hair): Ya, our little god of ornery horse riding.
(Audience laughs)
MICHELE: Pony what happened that fate changing night?
PONY: Well, Darry slapped me for being irresponsible, again. I just need to cool it off with a Kool. Johnny was in the lot and I told him everything after crying a little. We went to the park in town where Bob and the Socs came. They yelled at us for trying to take their broads. Bob told the tall one, David, to give me "a bath." Next thing I knew I was being drowned in the fountain. Bob beat up Johnny once, four months earlier, he would never let that happen again, ever. So he knifed Bob and the Socs ran. We than ran to Dally and he helped us.
LILA: Wasn't Dally the "greaser" that saved Johnny and then was shot?
DARRY: Yes, but no more questions on him please. It's still hard.
LILA: Yes we understand. Now do you have any special talents?
(Soda walks on his hands, Darry runs and does a flip off stage, and Pony does a no hand cartwheel)
MICHELE: So Gymnastics. Sandra you can begin your questions now.
SANDRA: This is my only one-
SODA: I'm holding you to that.
SANDRA: Do you feel safe?
DARRY: Yes, no one in their right mine would mess with us.
SODA: We aren't afraid to keep our back door unlocked all the time and we have Superman over there to protect us.
SANDRA: From what I've heard you are most certainly not safe. I think Soda and Pony should put in a boys' home.
LILA & MICHELE: WHAT? WHO INVITED YOU!
DARRY: Why am I NOT surprised? DO tell me!
SODA: We're perfect together! We worked so hard for this. Darry does too much at both his jobs instead of college! He could have been a Soc if it wasn't for us! Does he look twenty? He is! Pony is fourteen in honor classes a grade ahead of normally. I'm sixteen and I have a job! Don't tell us to separate. WE BELONG TOGETHER!
SANDRA: Not if it's unsafe.
SODA: You and your "unsafe." I'll show you unsafe-
(Soda, Darry, and Pony jump up and start yelling at Sandra)
MICHELE (over yelling): We have more time, but this is going to get out of hand and out of our TV rating limit, so BYE! See you next week on Centerville Talks.
(Show cuts to line screen)