It… It wasn't always like this… It was actually worse off when I was back home but now that I've come here to beacon there wasn't the… need to do it. I can't always say that it felt good but it felt better to focus on the pain…
The scars were always there to remind me of my actions but I didn't care all that much about it… it didn't bother me. But what did, was the thought of how everyone would react if they found out… two people especially. Ruby, the crimson reaper, and Pyrrha, the mistrailian goddess. If they knew of this… I just simply couldn't handle the thought of it. So I tried my best to hide it from everyone, tried to cut on parts that could be easily concealed.
However, on this day… My worst nightmare came true and it's all going down the drain. It all started when I went to combat class with the team.
I had never thought it would happen so I just put it under my skin and ignored the sliver of the chance it might happen.
I was called out by Glynda to fight someone, I didn't recognize him so I was on the defensive immediately and readied my weapons drawing crocea mors and unfolding the shield. The guy had taken a stance and had strapped something to his waist and wrists. He seems to be a fighter like Yang.
So I went in. Dodge, swipe, miss, dodge again, block. It was an exchange of missed hits when he landed a good hit and tried to continue but I rolled away.
We continued trading hits and misses when he decided to pull his trump card, in simpler terms his semblance. I charged in not noticing and he hit me but not full on. It stopped and inch from my chest. I had tried to wing when a sudden burst of air had ripped apart my armor and sweater as well as my shirt. I blasted against the wall. And I noticed that he had effectively disrobed the top part of my body. That's when I stood up… That's when I walked out from the smoke from the impact… That's… when I heard everyone gasp.
I looked down and saw this… The cuts along my waist and chest… shoulder and upper arms… My eyes widened at this, looking up towards the seat I saw Pyrrha had her mouth wide open, covered by her hands. And Ruby… Ruby already had tears soaking her cheeks… then the whispers started…
"Mr. Arc?" I heard Ms. Goodwitch say… I turned to look at her… Then I dropped my weapon and shield and ran… I heard the outcry from my team and team RWBY as they called my name… but I didn't care.
I ran as fast as I could to my dorm. I got there in record time opening the door and grabbing a shirt and sweater… and leaving the room.
I didn't have much of a chance here anyway, thinking about how I got in here in the first place and how I've gotten destroyed in combat since I got here. The only reason I haven't died yet is thanks to Pyrrha giving me training and things like that as well as help with classes.
So here I sit with my legs dangling from the edge of Grimm's cliff. I never thought it would end up like this, it would have been preferable if I died during a mission instead of having to do to end it like this. But this is my only choice left… The entire school knows… Both of the teams I'm close with know now… And I can't go back home. So I'm not going to deal with any of this.
So I stood up and started texting… I put all my thoughts into a notes section in my scroll as well as my will in a way. After a few minutes I was finished so I put in down on the floor… and started my walk towards the edge… Towards my end…. Five… Four… Three… Two… One… As I feel my end coming And i count down to zero I was interrupted…
"Jaune..? Is that you..?" Someone said softly.
I turned to find my entire team as well as team RWBY in front of me the distance being around 20 feet away. I wasn't prepared to look at their faces yet so I looked towards the ground.
But it didn't matter as I already saw enough they were all in tears as glynda was behind the group. Ruby and Pyrrha were in the front of the group.
"I didn't mean for that to happen… For all of you to find out the way you did…" I said as I looked up towards them, ashamed of what'd I've done to myself over my time in beacon.
"You're all probably wondering why… but I'm not going to go into that, see it as a way to relieve the pain that I've been enduring for a while… But now that you know… I don't…. I don't belong here anymore…." I said as I took a step back.
They all rushed a step forwards with Ruby and Pyrrha stepping one more than them.
"Why…?" Ruby said looking at me, her tears covering her eyes and sliding down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry Ruby… I never meant to make you cry, that was one thing I wanted to avoid." I said as I looked down at the ground.
"Then why would you do something like this to yourself! Why! Yeah there's problems that you have but that's something that can be made better! There was no reason for you to do thi-" She said before I burst out and raised my voice.
"You wouldn't understand! There's a lot that I've kept from you guys! A lot that has pushed me this far so I did this so I can focus on anything but that! Cardin constantly threatening me! I'm always getting humiliated in combat class! I'm only passing core classes and by 1 or 2 points! Can't you see! I'm trying my hardest… But my hardest is never enough… It will never be enough, it wasn't back then and it won't be enough in the future... " I said, my vision blurring from the tears.
"My father… The asshole he was always got drunk and hit me and my mom and my sister couldn't do a thing… But one day he was angry… and he attacked us and I stood there! My sisters went for help and I was the only one left! And I watched as he killed my mother! And I tried my hardest to fight him! But…" I dropped to my knees and tears spilled from my eyes. "It wasn't enough… and I watched… as he killed her." I finished, my energy spent.
"Ruby… Pyrrha… you both are amazing people and you take your time to help someone as pitiful as me… And I know that one day I'm not going to be strong enough to save either of you… and you are going to disappear from my life as well…" I looked up at them. Ruby was on her knees, and Pyrrha was crying with her hands covering her mouth.
"So… I'm going to erase myself from your lives… before I become the reason your ended…" I took a couple steps back…
"I love both of you… Thank you for what you've done for me… Goodbye…"
Ignoring the calls of my teammates…
And succumbing to the darkness…
I'm sorry guys… I never meant for this to happen like it did…
Tomorrow's not another day anymore… Or so I thought
There were a pair of hands holding me… preventing my fall…
And I open my eyes to Ruby and Pyrrha holding one of my hands respectively…
"You idiot… What do you think you're doing admitting something like that and then trying to leave us…? I love you too you big dummy…" Ruby said smiling as she did so.
"Jaune… You are the only one that saw me for me and after trying to get you to notice me for almost 6 months you admit your love for me and the try to leave me? Not a chance!" She said also smiling.
"We don't need you to end your life because of us… Instead live because you have a future to look forward too." Ruby said pulling me up.
"We are more than capable of handling ourselves, and with time and training and perseverance Jaune… You could become as strong as or stronger than us" said Pyrrha hosting me up fully, putting me down on the ground.
Then I was tackled by the two with them voicing their complaints about the whole situation…
I hugged them both, pulling them closer and mumbling a soft I love you and sorry here and there…
But when I got up and we separated I was then tackled again by the rest of the teams, it ending up as a dog pile on myself…
"Jaune You fucking idiot! Never do something like that again!" Voiced the yellow brawler know as Yang.
"I don't know what would have happened to our team if our fearless leader would have been gone!" Said Nora, tightening her grip on me to bone-breaking strengths.
"You dolt! Why would you even think of scaring us like that! You might be an idiot but we all need you here!" Said Weiss.
"Even through your background may have been bad, your future should be decided by you alone." Said Black, from somewhere behind Weiss.
"Jaune you are a like a brother to me… I couldn't imagine if you left our team! Who would help me with Nora? And I would have no one to play with to!" Said Ren, the usually quiet person voicing his opinions loudly.
That's when I realized that there was no need to end my life…
That there was always something to live for…
You just have to be patient enough for it to show itself…
Just wait a bit… And your life will take a turn…
And if it doesn't? Change it yourself…
As I hugged my friends and savers… I realized that life… Is worth living…