A/N: I can't digest the fact that my first fic for 2012 is a J/N pre-lemons drabble.

Disclaimer: Oh hai, Stephenie. (No, I do not own The Twilight Sigh-ga.)

Philosophy and Alcohol

(or, Wherein Nessie Has an Idea)

oh, oh, I want some more / oh, oh, what are you waiting for?

Neon Trees, "Animal"

Renesmee Cullen looks up from Genealogy of Morals —she only reads great works of grandeur and adequate pretentiousness now— and, in a very serious tone, she asks, "Is 2012 really the end of the world?"

Jacob Black almost spits a mouthful of beer. "I don't know," he replies, barely suppressing a laugh. "Why don't you ask Alice?"

"Oh, but Alice can't predict the future. Her visions are based on decisions and can be easily altered."

"Okay," he concedes. "How about these tomes you devour? I'm sure they'd be more helpful than me."

"I agree," she says eventually. "You are a bit tipsy."

"What? I've had one sip!" Jacob protests, finding this entire conversation highly amusing.

Renesmee slams the book shut. "I'm bored," she complains. She is almost six years-old, which, in half-vampire years, means she has the mental capabilities and physical appearance of a young adult. Well, her mental capabilities reach far beyond those of a young adult, but being the daughter of the biggest undead nerd in history must have surely contributed to that. Even so, her whiny, almost childish tone comes across as a bit odd.

"Do you want to go to the main house?" Jacob asks, stealing a glance at his cell phone. "It's almost midnight."

"I don't care much about family gatherings," Renesmee muses, almost entirely ignoring Jacob's question.

"It's New Year's Eve," Jacob says incredulously.

"Well, there's no shortage of those, is there?" she retorts. "We're immortal."

"So, what do you want to do?" Jacob says with a sigh. Renesmee is hard to please, though you wouldn't call her high-maintenance – a vampire-human hybrid is a lot tougher than most people would think.

"I'd love some deer right now," she admits. "But… there are better things to do on New Year's Eve, don't you agree?" she hints with a sly grin.

Jacob's lips turn up; after all, who cares about another leech extravaganza?

fin.

Happy new year, guys! Less than twelve months till the end of days, how exciting!