I was an idiot.

I should have seen it- no, that was it, wasn't it? I did see it. But I ignored it. Ignored the whole fucking ordeal.

I loved him- that's what blinded me. And yeah, call me a fag. I'm a man. I love another man. I have for years.

But the thing is that he was a little prick about it. So snooty and prim, like a little white chick from America. But he had his moments, you know; where he was all sweet and beautiful-lookin'- like when he looked my way sometimes, or rolled his eyes. And that's what made me attracted to him, the fact that he was unattainable. I wasn't used to that; I mean, I used to be a dork when I was a kid, but hey, people change and grow up. Now I'm the biggest and baddest shit since shit was invented; however, that didn't seem to matter to him. He seemed to look past it and just think I was an idiot. And no matter how hard he denied me, I still chased him like I was a fucking Romeo and he was my motherfucking Juliet.

And then, one day, I got him. I got him so bad.

Then he got me.

And not in the fun way. Well, shit, I guess it's not fun for me, is it? I'm looking up now, and he's laughing his ass off, having a grand time. Wait, I think he's crying. Maybe both?

They never tell you how hard it is to think when half your brain is falling out your eyes.

His name was Sasuke. I loved this man beyond all else.

But he…had issues.

I loved him anyways.

The "before's" aren't important- it's better if it's vague anyways. You probably don't care.

Oh, you do? Well, that's really nice of you. I met him when he was working in a hospital, after I had got in a fight with a friend of mine named Gaara- I don't even remember what it was about, something about his cousin or brother or whatever. He (he being Sasuke, of course) told me he was a nurse, and I believed him because his scrubs were cute- black seemed to be his favorite color. He was an asshole about it though- when I asked him out, he snorted like I was some Neanderthal that ate dirt and walked away with his nose high in the air. I wasn't too angry though… He did give a nice view.

When I asked again, he told me he wasn't interested in dating.

When I asked AGAIN, he told me that he didn't like blondes.

When I asked for the last time he punched me outside the hospital in the parking lot. But I got his number, God damnit. It was so worth it.

Should have asked a fourth time- he might have told a few things I probably needed to know.

It was like magic or God's hand touching us- miracles, or something that my ex-girlfriend used to spout before she dyed her hair pink and turned into a lesbian (NOT MY FAULT). I was mesmerized by his onyx eyes, his unique, spiky hairstyle, and his coy smile that was halfway hidden by his coffee cup. I thought it was cute that he always wore a black and white striped shirt under his scrubs, and he always wore either a black or white scarf to go with them, regardless of the heat. And just the way he looked at me took my breath. Like- I dunno, like he knew what he was doing.

I think he did, because he was damn good at what he did. Everything he did made me want him more and more. If he was cancer, then it was terminal- I wouldn't get rid of him for a while, and I had no desire to. They should have a walk dedicated to him- maybe they'd find a cure for Sasuke faster than cancer.

Maybe I fell so hard because he wouldn't put out. Yeah, that pissed me off so bad, but it was alright- he didn't want sex, and I didn't want to live without him- subconsciously I thought all this, though, because I'm idiot when it comes to feelings.

The day, though, that we finally had sex, I realized that I was severely fucked. And, once again, not in the fun way.

It was like a switch. I was there, in him, and the heat was driving me nuts- I was so close to letting off like a rocket. I was actually worried I'd shoot my load before him, because that's always so awkward, and I wanted his cum everywhere too. He was screaming for more, just like I liked it. His cobalt eyes were burning into my ocean blue, and his face was a pretty red hue, his mouth was parted slightly, those bruised lips from my treatment giving him a beautiful look.

Then that God damn switch turned on.

I watched in utter confusion and terror as those sweet lips stretched into a loving, maddening, affectionate smile, tears leaking out of those onyx eyes as he wrapped his skinny arms around my chest, his face pressed into my shoulder as I sped up, thinking that's what he wanted. Then I heard it.

"I love you…"

…An "I love you"? From HIM? HOLY SHIT. I thought I would be the first one to say it, not him. It was really…surprising. But, being the idiot I was, I sped up, slamming into him harder, growling lowly with pleasure. "I love you too…" I heard myself say.

Sasuke didn't realize I said that, apparently, because he had kept moaning it out, his nails digging into my back. They began to draw blood, and I winced slightly, trying to get him to look at me so I could tell me to stop, but he wouldn't shut up. It was starting to piss me off.

"I love you, I love you, ah-ah… I love you, I love you, -!"

Then, as I felt him cum on my stomach, I heard him scream. Normally, this would turn me on so much I'd dive for another round.

But…the way he screamed…

"I LOVE YOU!"

That's when it all started going straight to Hell.

I loved that he was so cool, so collected all the time- that was my turn on, that he didn't need me, but wanted me. I felt honored, in a sick, weird way.

Until the morning after, when I woke to find him staring at me, clinging to me and smiling like I was the Messiah. "I love you," were the first words that tumbled out of his mouth, as if he was waiting the whole night to tell me again. In fact… I looked closer, and realized the dark shades under his eyes. He had stayed up the whole night, waiting for me to wake up.

"I love you so much. So very much."

I found myself shuddering. Just the way he said it made me feel as though something was very wrong with the situation. His eyes were wide and expectant, like a puppy waiting for scraps.

I didn't like this version of Sasuke. In fact, I had been looking forward to him being gone, just because I knew that's what he would do. I hated that he was still here, breathing my air and purring out how much he loved me- expecting me to do the exact same thing.

I hated this Sasuke, and I wished he would hurry up and be an asshole again. Still… he was Sasuke. I worked hard for this man, and, God take my soul, I was keeping him. Who knew? Maybe I would get used to this loving, affectionate Sasuke.

Biggest pile of bullshit in my life, am I right?

He kept on following me, making me food, being a good boyfriend. Luckily for me, I knew that meant something was horribly wrong. Sasuke was many things, but he wasn't affectionate. He didn't make me breakfast- Hell, he snapped at me when I didn't make him something. And he didn't even live at my house.

Gaara thought I was just being a complete and total idiot. "Maybe he finally realized how good he's got it," He had told me, his stupid Juggalo brother nodding in agreement as we chilled at Gaara's place.

"Yeah, bro. You gotta relax. I can get you some weed if you need it-"

I rolled my eyes. Why Gaara even let his brother in his house is beyond me. He's such a bad influence. "No thanks, that stuff rots your brain."

I had left, and decided that I didn't want to deal with Sasuke's sit-com lover routine he'd developed. I dicked around town- bought a soda, flirted with some girls, rented a movie, and even decided to get Sasuke some flowers. I was a good boyfriend, after all.

As I walked through the door to my apartment, I realized that the door was unlocked (and I had locked it) and that there was a small whimper emanating from my kitchen.

I walked through, and, Lo and behold, Sasuke was there, gripping his arms and bawling silently. He looked up at me, tears swimming in his eyes, a small smile on his face as he saw me.

My flowers to him were forgotten.

"You're back… I-I, uh, waited for you at Moe's, but, um…you didn't come. I-I thought you were in trouble, so I… But you weren't here. I was so scared… I… I thought you left me."

I felt my heart break a little. He had abandonment issues- that must have been it. It was obvious as the nose on my face. So I drew him into my arms, and starting cooing to him. "It's okay, Sasuke, I've got you… I won't leave you… I promise."

I felt something wet touch my shirt, and I ignored it, thinking it was tears. "I-I've never felt this way before about someone… I love you so much…" I heard him tell me, the desperate sound in his voice reminding me that he wasn't some badass. He was Sasuke, and he had emotions too.

"So…Don't think I'm crazy or anything when I say this…" He pulled away, smiling wider, cupping my face with his delicate, pale hands.

I felt something sticky smear from his hands to my cheeks. I gently touched his arms, and let out a small grunt of shock.

Small, deep cuts ran along his arms, blood rolling down them in rivulets.

I didn't know he'd cut himself, but suddenly the wet feeling on my front and the churning in my stomach made much more sense.

I found it ironic I would have to take him to the hospital where he worked.

"If you ever stand me up again, or go somewhere without telling me… I'll fucking kill you."

The week after that- starting from when we were driving back from the hospital- was a blur. I blocked most of it from my memory, I think. I kept dreaming of Sasuke, of me… kept thinking about it. I started obsessing, for I thought I loved him more than life itself, and I knew that's what I was experiencing.

True love.

He followed me everywhere, his hands clinging to me in a "loving manner". His eyes scanning the crowds for people staring at me, daring them to look at our love like it was strange. And he kept laughing.

Just kept laughing.

He lived with me, he ate with me, and he bathed with me. I had no time for myself, and I didn't want it. I was lost in the bliss of ignorance, telling myself that he was just a bit extreme in his love. That it wasn't strange.

I just wanted to exist with Sasuke, and only Sasuke. He was in my mind, in my thoughts… maybe because I was scared of what would happen if he wasn't. We didn't make love anymore, I just couldn't get it up with his stare watching me in rapt attention, no matter how much I loved him. He didn't seem to care, and I didn't either, because he didn't say anything. He still wore that sweater though, which was still cute as fuck.

He didn't sleep anymore, I noticed too. But he watched me sleep, and, in turn, I couldn't sleep. It made me realize a few things. Like, for example, I had no idea who his parents were, if he even had any. I didn't know where he went to school, what he did before he met me, what music he liked. I didn't know anything about Sasuke. I only knew that I loved him.

It took me a while to realize that I was in seriously deep shit.

"Hey, Naruto, it's Gaara. Um, dude, I saw you in the movie store with Sasuke, and you looked pretty trashed. Are you alright? You know you can just… you… you know… talk about that thing we were talking about. Look, bro… Just… Call me back," The beep sounded, and I found it rude that Gaara would dare call us while we were enjoying a meal my true love made us.

Sasuke's eyes snapped to me, and he stared blankly like he was about to discuss the weather, a saddening frown gracing his lips at the same time. "So, he's the reason?"

"…What?"

"You know, the reason you won't fuck me anymore. Is that it? Is he taking it all out of you?" He was talking in a calm tone, like this wasn't a big deal when I knew I was about to be in trouble.

"What? No, Sasuke. Gaara's not gay, he's just a good frie-"

"GOOD FRIEND MY MOTHER-FUCKING ASS! ARE YOU THE TOP TOO, WITH HIM? HUH? IS HE BETTER THAN ME? IS THAT IT?"

"Sasuke, wha- SHIT!"

I jumped up from my spot the moment Sasuke did, my heart leaping into my ears as a steak knife whizzed past my cheek. It hit the wall with a sharp thud, and then clattered to the ground with a louder, more echoing sound. There was nothing but silence after that, and for a few minutes I registered that Sasuke just threw a knife at me. And he waited ever-so-patiently, his hand hanging in the air and his brow narrowed, giving his eyes an even darker shade than they were, his pupils wide and dilated to the size of pin pricks.

"No, Sasuke! You know I only love you! How could you say that?" I shouted, completely ignoring the earlier action and holding him tightly, subtly pushing the rest of his utensils away from him. "In the twenty-five years I've been alive, I've never loved anyone more than you. Honestly."

He looked at me, tears suddenly streaming like waterfalls from his cobalt orbs, his mouth twitching as he let out a loud sob. "I-I don't believe you…"

"Believe it."

He let out a soft, choked-off laugh, sniffled back mucus, and laid his head on my chest while I stroked his hair gently, smiling with relief. I still had him, I still loved him.

He began talking again, in a soft, sweet tone. "One time, inside a dream, I saw our whole world swallowed whole… it was just you and I…"

I didn't hear much after that. I felt his hands tighten their hold on my shirt, and the sound of his shuddering sobs sending a chill down my spine. I hissed sharply at the scabs forming on the scratches on my back being torn off by Sasuke's tight hug.

Sasuke did that.

That thought- that Sasuke tore up my back, and then, just moments, threw a GOD DAMN KNIFE at me- reminded me that this wasn't normal. This love wasn't normal, and, most importantly, wasn't real.

But, God, did I want it to be. That's probably why I ignored what was happening. I ignored the fact that the hospital had no idea who he was when we were there. I ignored the fact that I didn't see or hear from Gaara again. I ignored the way Sasuke looked at me- like I wasn't even going to leave my own damn house again, and he was going to make sure of it.

I ignored it when he slipped something into my drink that made me see stars.

But it was alright. As long as it was just us.

"I love you."

Just him and I- two lovers- got into this horrible situation.

"I wanted…someone who had only eyes for me. SOMEONE… who only wanted to be with ME. SO WHO'S THE REAL BAD ONE IN THIS SITUATION? Wasn't me."

In my haze, I couldn't help but notice that it felt really nice to lie in my bed without him next to me. I hadn't felt that in a while- ages, it seemed. I would have enjoyed it more, but where he was at the moment put me on a bit of an edge.

"You just HAD to have other people in your life, didn't you? You couldn't settle with just me. Aren't I enough?" Sasuke put his knee on the bed, smiling as lovingly as he always did. He carefully took my hand, stroking my palm with his thumb in a sweet, gentle manner.

Then, he reached over and began to wrap my wrists in duct tape, reminding me why I was in this situation. I winced slightly, but that was it. I felt like someone was squeezing my brain, and a pressure behind my eyes made my movements twitchy and sluggish.

"I really hate liars, you know. I've always HATED LIARS. But, you know, I didn't think YOU WOULD FUCKING- I didn't think you would lie to me. I thought… you loved me."

I felt my mouth form the words, "I do", and Sasuke cackled lowly.

"Do you? Tell me you love me."

I did.

"You know when I knew I loved you? After our first night of making love. The way your eyes sparkled… FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. I love you so much, that I'm willing to smile and laugh. Can't you see how hard that is for me? I don't like smiling. I'd rather scowl and call you THE LITTLE SHIT THAT YOU ARE- but I don't, because I love you."

I nodded slowly. I wasn't afraid. I was curious- what would he do to me?

"To be honest, I only like your eyes. The rest of you can be replaced… but your eyes… they enchant me..."

I felt my mouth go dry. I didn't like where this was going.

What happened next could only be described like this; think about the pain you would feel if your eye was ripped out by another person's sweaty, bare hands, their nails digging into the nerves without mercy and yanking it out like a band-aid.

That was pretty much it. Why? Because that's what he fucking did. What, didn't you read the beginning of my damn story?

"Shh…Shh…" Sasuke wrapped his arms around me, soothing the stabbing, searing pain the cool, artificial air caused as it passed through my socket. I smiled a bit (although my mouth was a twitching mess at the effort) at the gesture, my other eye leaking salty tears that stung my cheeks.

Then my other eye was next, and that was when Sasuke began to get excited and began to kiss me violently. His teeth tore at my lips as my voice broke with a (what I'm sure was a very loud) scream of agony, and more blood dripped down my chin and smeared onto his. I felt him smile cynically.

After a moment, though, it didn't hurt as much. I just couldn't see (which sucked ass).

In the cloud of drugs and pain, I heard Sasuke swallow something. Let's say, for story's sake, that I didn't think it was what I knew it was.

"Ah, now I can have your eyes with me all the time. GREAT, RIGHT? Say it's great, you know I love your approval."

"FUCK- GO TO HELL, YOU FREAK!" And that can be translated into, "I love you so much for doing that", apparently, because Sasuke laughed happily- gleefully, even. I heard something hit the floor that sounded like metal, and then I heard Sasuke start to actually sing under his breath. Or, I thought it was singing. He kept saying the same thing over and over, with some sort of broken-off tune worthy of some kind of creepy Vocaloid song.

"I want to eat your love- eat your true love, round like candy; I want to eat your love- eat your true love, round like candy; I want to eat your love- eat your true love, round like candy… I want to eat your love- eat your true love, round like candy…"

That was almost funny. Almost.

I felt him crawl on me, and I let myself slowly slip into a darkness that made my heart race with a smidge of panic. I whimpered weakly, and, again, Sasuke translated it to something completely different.

"Do you understand me?"

I did. I understood perfectly. I understood Sasuke better than anyone in the whole world.

Why? Well… you know. The usual excuse.

"I love you too… Naruto…"

HaPpY hAlLoWeEn

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