Disclaimer: Damn bugger, well, I do not own Resident Evil or any of the
characters in this story. Please give credit to the Electronic Gaming
Monthly. So be it!
Undercover S.T.A.R.S.
Cast of Characters:
Chris Redfield
Brad Vickers
Marvin Branagh
Barry Burton
Brian Irons
Robert Kendo
Officer Leon
Alexia and Alfred Ashford
Albert Wesker
Chris: *In passenger seat of van* I'm Christopher Redfield, but you can call me Chris. This here *Motions to driver* is my buddy, Bradley Vickers...
Bradley: Just call me Brad, peeps
Chris: *Hits Brad* Dude, that was my line! Anyways, the guy next to me is Marvin Branagh. Call him Marv. And the big guy in the back in Barry Burton, and you should call him whatever he wants you to. He has more issues than a subscription to Time magazine. You might be wondering "What in the name of the Lord are these guys doing in a parked van in an alleyway, with enough firepower in the trunk to massacre half of New York State. When I look back at it, it seems so distant. It all started yesterday...
Yesterday, 12 PM noon in an apartment building...
Chris: Look, Brad! I never believed Umbrella would actually go through with it! I mean, half my friends died in that hell-hole of a mansion! And it was basically your fault!
Brad: You should be glad Jill is still alive
Chris: Oh, right. Anyways, a member of the RPD and us are going to meet to discuss that issue, and how we plan to strike back at those science bastards! *They leave*
In a distant alleyway...
Brad: You know, this doesn't seem like the place an international meeting would have taken place...
Chris: Oh come on, this is at least private! I mean, you could find a zombie here for all we know!
Zombie: *Bursts in view* uuuuuggggghhhhh...
Chris: Crud, it's one of them! *Pulls out survival knife and knifes the zombie to death* Whew, that was close...
???: Hands in the air!
Chris and Brad: *Turn around* Officer Leon?!
Officer Leon: That's right *Draws two guns*
Chris: Officer Leon, w-what are you doing with those guns?
Officer Leon: Well, the plan is to shoot you both
Brad: What I think he meant was, why are you going to shoot us?
Officer Leon: Sorry boys, but Umbrella's cut me a deal, so-
Chris: But you were supposed to be the hero of RE2!
Officer Leon: Times change. Just close your eyes, and think of Halloween *Gunshot rings out and a pool of blood begins to form under Officer Leon* Now how do you suppose...that happened? *Falls to the ground, dead*
???: *Standing behind where Officer Leon once stood, holding a smoking gun* Come on fellows, don't you think that action deserves some award?
Chris: *Thinking* C-chocolate Kisses...m-milk duds...
Brad: Chris, it's okay! We're still alive!
???: Come on, help me with the body. It always helps to have a second set of prints on a dead body *Lifts up Officer Leon's corpse*
Chris: Well, I must show my gratitude, Mr., um...
???: You can call me Barry. And I wouldn't suggest being friends since you guys might be dead in a second. Anyways *Motions towards Leon's body* This guy ain't a real cop. He was hired to impersonate a cop, assassinate you both, take the money, and skip town. Grab his legs
Brad: Hey, why are you using our trunk?
Barry: *Stuffs Leon's body into the trunk of Chris's car* 'Cause I rode a taxi. Gotta keep low in this area of town. Let's go
Chris: Go where?
Barry: To my pal Kendo's house. He can help us out with our late friend here *Jumps into the driver's seat*
At the Kendo residence...
Kendo: *Opens door* Ah, Senor Barry! Me amigos! Come in, my friend!
Chris: Uh, nice place you have *Sits down on stool, which breaks*
Kendo: So, what brings you here Bar-AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!
Barry: *Lunges onto Kendo* YYYYAAAARRRR!!! *Snaps Kendo's neck*
Chris: I thought you said he was going to help out with the guy in the trunk
Barry: On the contrary, he'll be keeping him company. Kendo was Leon's accomplice. They were going to get the cash and skip town. Grab his legs
Chris: *Notices $200 in Kendo's pocket, so he snatches it and walks off whistling*
Brad: Where to now?
Barry: To the twin's house. I just hope they haven't been done
At the Ashford residence...
Chris: *Blood is everywhere* Yech, what the hell happened here?
Barry: Looks like the Iceman got here first
Chris: Say what?
Barry: The Iceman *Shot of a man wearing sunglasses and an overcoat shooting two men at once* Wesker. Albert Wesker is his name. Remember? He betrayed STARS, double-crossed Umbrella, and is currently working for a different organization. He's ruthless, and will kill anything or anyone who prevents him from reaching his goal. His shades hide his cold, snake eyes. He's six feet tall, and when he breathes, ice pours out of his mouth
Brad: ...really?
Barry: Well, I may have exaggerated on that last part. I'll have to call in my partner. A bit of an oddball, but at least has guts!
A minute later...
*There is a knock on the door*
Brad: I'll get it! *Opens the door, revealing Marvin Branagh* WTF?!
Marvin: Hey, I'll bet you never moonlighted in your life!
Barry: Let's get going! *Loads .44 magnum* Grab as much firepower you can take, and also get the two bodies!
Chris: I call Alexia!
Brad: Dang
Chris: I thought "Where will this all end? Will I live to see another day? Will I ever get to hug my sister again? Will I ever get to make out with Jill again? Not that I ever have, though...wait, what's that sound?
*Marvin and Barry charge out of the car, guns drawn, toward a solitary figure-Albert Wesker, who is armed to the teeth*
Wesker: *Draws two guns and fires off 10 rounds*
Barry: *Releases all six bullets of his gun at Wesker*
Marvin: *Charges Wesker while firing his gun*
*Blood splatters everywhere, and the sound of Wesker's shades hitting the ground is music to everyone's ears*
Marvin: Well, that was quite easy! *Puts on Wesker's shades*
Barry: Well boys, I guess this is where we bid our farewells. Good luck, and when you get home, report your car stolen. It'll be at the bottom of the lake *He and Marvin drives off with Wesker's leg sticking out of the trunk*
Chris: Well, I guess it's over
Brad: *Notices the ground is splattered completely with blood* Well, I suppose we should get going, don't you think?
The End?!
A/N: I know this story was really cheesy, but at least give me credit, alright? I mean, I'm just a new author, so give me a break. Please-no flames?
Frosty
Undercover S.T.A.R.S.
Cast of Characters:
Chris Redfield
Brad Vickers
Marvin Branagh
Barry Burton
Brian Irons
Robert Kendo
Officer Leon
Alexia and Alfred Ashford
Albert Wesker
Chris: *In passenger seat of van* I'm Christopher Redfield, but you can call me Chris. This here *Motions to driver* is my buddy, Bradley Vickers...
Bradley: Just call me Brad, peeps
Chris: *Hits Brad* Dude, that was my line! Anyways, the guy next to me is Marvin Branagh. Call him Marv. And the big guy in the back in Barry Burton, and you should call him whatever he wants you to. He has more issues than a subscription to Time magazine. You might be wondering "What in the name of the Lord are these guys doing in a parked van in an alleyway, with enough firepower in the trunk to massacre half of New York State. When I look back at it, it seems so distant. It all started yesterday...
Yesterday, 12 PM noon in an apartment building...
Chris: Look, Brad! I never believed Umbrella would actually go through with it! I mean, half my friends died in that hell-hole of a mansion! And it was basically your fault!
Brad: You should be glad Jill is still alive
Chris: Oh, right. Anyways, a member of the RPD and us are going to meet to discuss that issue, and how we plan to strike back at those science bastards! *They leave*
In a distant alleyway...
Brad: You know, this doesn't seem like the place an international meeting would have taken place...
Chris: Oh come on, this is at least private! I mean, you could find a zombie here for all we know!
Zombie: *Bursts in view* uuuuuggggghhhhh...
Chris: Crud, it's one of them! *Pulls out survival knife and knifes the zombie to death* Whew, that was close...
???: Hands in the air!
Chris and Brad: *Turn around* Officer Leon?!
Officer Leon: That's right *Draws two guns*
Chris: Officer Leon, w-what are you doing with those guns?
Officer Leon: Well, the plan is to shoot you both
Brad: What I think he meant was, why are you going to shoot us?
Officer Leon: Sorry boys, but Umbrella's cut me a deal, so-
Chris: But you were supposed to be the hero of RE2!
Officer Leon: Times change. Just close your eyes, and think of Halloween *Gunshot rings out and a pool of blood begins to form under Officer Leon* Now how do you suppose...that happened? *Falls to the ground, dead*
???: *Standing behind where Officer Leon once stood, holding a smoking gun* Come on fellows, don't you think that action deserves some award?
Chris: *Thinking* C-chocolate Kisses...m-milk duds...
Brad: Chris, it's okay! We're still alive!
???: Come on, help me with the body. It always helps to have a second set of prints on a dead body *Lifts up Officer Leon's corpse*
Chris: Well, I must show my gratitude, Mr., um...
???: You can call me Barry. And I wouldn't suggest being friends since you guys might be dead in a second. Anyways *Motions towards Leon's body* This guy ain't a real cop. He was hired to impersonate a cop, assassinate you both, take the money, and skip town. Grab his legs
Brad: Hey, why are you using our trunk?
Barry: *Stuffs Leon's body into the trunk of Chris's car* 'Cause I rode a taxi. Gotta keep low in this area of town. Let's go
Chris: Go where?
Barry: To my pal Kendo's house. He can help us out with our late friend here *Jumps into the driver's seat*
At the Kendo residence...
Kendo: *Opens door* Ah, Senor Barry! Me amigos! Come in, my friend!
Chris: Uh, nice place you have *Sits down on stool, which breaks*
Kendo: So, what brings you here Bar-AAAAGGGGHHHHH!!!
Barry: *Lunges onto Kendo* YYYYAAAARRRR!!! *Snaps Kendo's neck*
Chris: I thought you said he was going to help out with the guy in the trunk
Barry: On the contrary, he'll be keeping him company. Kendo was Leon's accomplice. They were going to get the cash and skip town. Grab his legs
Chris: *Notices $200 in Kendo's pocket, so he snatches it and walks off whistling*
Brad: Where to now?
Barry: To the twin's house. I just hope they haven't been done
At the Ashford residence...
Chris: *Blood is everywhere* Yech, what the hell happened here?
Barry: Looks like the Iceman got here first
Chris: Say what?
Barry: The Iceman *Shot of a man wearing sunglasses and an overcoat shooting two men at once* Wesker. Albert Wesker is his name. Remember? He betrayed STARS, double-crossed Umbrella, and is currently working for a different organization. He's ruthless, and will kill anything or anyone who prevents him from reaching his goal. His shades hide his cold, snake eyes. He's six feet tall, and when he breathes, ice pours out of his mouth
Brad: ...really?
Barry: Well, I may have exaggerated on that last part. I'll have to call in my partner. A bit of an oddball, but at least has guts!
A minute later...
*There is a knock on the door*
Brad: I'll get it! *Opens the door, revealing Marvin Branagh* WTF?!
Marvin: Hey, I'll bet you never moonlighted in your life!
Barry: Let's get going! *Loads .44 magnum* Grab as much firepower you can take, and also get the two bodies!
Chris: I call Alexia!
Brad: Dang
Chris: I thought "Where will this all end? Will I live to see another day? Will I ever get to hug my sister again? Will I ever get to make out with Jill again? Not that I ever have, though...wait, what's that sound?
*Marvin and Barry charge out of the car, guns drawn, toward a solitary figure-Albert Wesker, who is armed to the teeth*
Wesker: *Draws two guns and fires off 10 rounds*
Barry: *Releases all six bullets of his gun at Wesker*
Marvin: *Charges Wesker while firing his gun*
*Blood splatters everywhere, and the sound of Wesker's shades hitting the ground is music to everyone's ears*
Marvin: Well, that was quite easy! *Puts on Wesker's shades*
Barry: Well boys, I guess this is where we bid our farewells. Good luck, and when you get home, report your car stolen. It'll be at the bottom of the lake *He and Marvin drives off with Wesker's leg sticking out of the trunk*
Chris: Well, I guess it's over
Brad: *Notices the ground is splattered completely with blood* Well, I suppose we should get going, don't you think?
The End?!
A/N: I know this story was really cheesy, but at least give me credit, alright? I mean, I'm just a new author, so give me a break. Please-no flames?
Frosty